sugarvalves [1963573] —
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Torn has no Mayor to speak of, nor does it have a Governor, a Councillor, a President or Prime Minister. Torn even lacks so much as a Park Ranger to stop you throwing trash at geese on the park. But many would say that what Torn does have is a dictator, an unstoppable presence whose benevolence in recent years is a testament to his own power, rather than the will of those attempting to dethrone him.
Official titles aside, Bodybagger has ruled the streets of Torn in every meaningful way for the past seven years, and despite fearing the repercussions of a misquoted phrase or an incriminating typo, this reporter valiantly entered into correspondence with the city's greatest ever player - the results of which are provided for your perusing pleasure below.
TCT: "How does it feel to be the most powerful player in the game?"
BB: "It feels great and wonderful!!! In reality, it really is no big deal. It's just a game after all."
TCT: "Describe a typical day in Torn for you."
BB: "I start by using my energy, claiming bounties, attacking for money, or mugging. I haven't used my energy for training in close to 7 years. Then, I do some crimes with my nerve. At that point, I complete any pending trades I have. Lastly, I answer lots of new players whom ask for advice or valid questions. I then join racing and take a peek at the stock market. Before dinner, I use some more energy and nerve, complete more trades and train people in my company. During the evening at new Torn day I play the casino and check out the forums a little. It's actually a mundane routine, unless there's a faction war going on. Faction wars are fun."
TCT: "You've won over 34,000 attacks at the time of writing. What's the most memorable?
BB: "I have two. When I was a young player and led 7 Zen factions this older player threatened to kill my factions unless I paid a surrender fee. His name was Nota. I hate bullies and would not accept surrender, so our factions warred for several months. They warred us while we campaigned wars on other factions just to survive. Their players were older and stronger. Since I warred so much as a young player my stats weren't terribly good, so I vowed that I would become the strongest player in Torn and I figured a long term plan for my character. Those attacks were a determining point that set the wheels in motion for me to get over 300 trillion in stats. The next most memorable attack was as I set out, for the second time, to be the first player to reach 100, Sifonjerce (then Sifonyer) and I battled daily using each other as punching bags to reach the top. I'm very competitive, and those attacks were fun as hell. I did end up using lots of my money to keep surpassing him since we also had a battle of SEs, but in the end I won."
TCT: "You once hit a streak of 2539. Can you remember how it ended?"
BB: "I ended that streak myself by letting people beat me, so they could put it in their profile. Back in the day I would bomb myself to 1 health, and then the other player would finish me off with a pillow. You see, the pillow was so accurate before it was nerfed that it always hit 1 damage no matter what the stats. Hence the reason for so many wins on me."
TCT: "What's your favourite weapon and why?"
BB: "At first, it was my trusty kitchen knife when funds were low. I then moved on to the Katana just because it was the best cheap weapon at the time, then the macana because it was highly accurate and complemented my stats, then the nunchukas since it was an all-around good weapon and cheap. My theme has always been cheap. I don't like spending tons on items. In the later stages I switched to the dual hammers and still use them now. Of course, I'm often equipped with something else since I constantly upgrade weapons. I love having a fully upgraded pillow and rusty sword. I'm now working on the recently introduced plastic knife."
TCT: "The stats indicate you like to finish off people with a clubbed weapon. Is this because you like the final kill to be up close and personal?"
BB: "Haha, that's a good way to put it. Yes, I do like that. However, I hate reload times and wish the primary and secondary weapons were more useful. Since personal stats have been released I've mostly used dual hammers and that's why the clubbed weapons seem to be my weapon of choice."
TCT: "Will anyone ever become stronger than you?"
BB: "I have no doubt. I've reigned at the top for over 7 years now and I'm not as active as I used to be. It will be done through the use of SEs. It's the only way it can be done. Without using SEs, it would take 100s of years to catch up. Until man figures how to live eternally, just training to catch up is not an option. I hear people complaining all the time about the cool down being the barrier to catch up. That is so much crap. The barrier is money. It only takes 2 to 3 years to reach 1 b in stats. From that point, a person could use 4 SEs per day a person would then have close to 500 trillion in 3 and a half years. Therefore, a total of about 6 years and someone could surpass me. Heck, I have hardly budged in the last 7 years. Most of my active Torn life has been in the first three years. So, as you can see, it makes me laugh when I hear everyone blaming cool downs."
TCT: "You're basically Torn's Superman. Have you ever thought about wearing a fruity lycra number to do your work?"
BB: "Actually, that's what I started wearing the day I reached level 100....under my normal clothes of course. I have an image to hold and the name BodyBagger doesn't go well with lycra. I secretly like the feel of it except when it rides up my bum."
TCT: "Some have called for Torn to name something in your honour. A weapon, an energy drink, or perhaps a new kind of venomous spider. What would be your choice?"
BB: "I've been wanting that for years and I do believe I deserve it. I always thought that an item would be cool and appropriate, such as a bodybag."
TCT: "Locals speculated only someone like Chuck Norris, Cthulhu or Chris Brown could challenge you. Which famous person do you think could take you in real life? And is there anyone in Torn you fear?"
BB: "Haha. Nice. I guess if there was an equivalent to Bruce Lee in the game, then he could beat me. As for what famous person that could take me none, period. I'm an expert in mixed martial arts and I'm trained proficiently in military close combat. People think I'm an over-achiever in Torn. I'm nothing on Torn compared to real life. I also don't fear anyone in Torn."
TCT: "If you could murder anyone famous and get away with it, who would you kill and what would you take as a trophy?"
BB: "I would never kill anyone outside the line of duty. I guess I could just find the entire crew of One Direction and just slap them around a little and take their hair as a trophy. Alright, a little jealousy on the hair part."
TCT: "Away from brawling on the streets you've also celebrated your triple platinum anniversary with your delightful spouse Brainwave. How does your relentless thirst for violence compliment such a harmonious love life?"
BB: "Deep down I'm a lover, not a fighter. Sometimes gentleness is what is needed, sometimes a little roughness takes the win. Like my Mema used to say: 'Variety is the spice of life'."
TCT: "What would you do differently if you started Torn again?"
BB: "I wouldn't have used so early all the SEs I did. I would have waited and would now have 320 sextillion versus only 320 trillion."
TCT: "With so many awards and a pile of rotting corpses left in your wake, what now constitutes an achievement for you in the game?"
BB: "For a while I was working on getting the most awards, and led the pack for a long time. Just recently L4Suicide surpassed me by 1 award. I have many awards close to being finished but I've been extremely busy with work and Torn has been put on the side burner for now. Maybe I'll get back to them once things calm down."
TCT: "How will the people of Torn remember you?"
BB: "Some will remember as a helpful and nice guy, some will remember me as a tyrant, but nobody has the choice but to remember me as the first player to reach level 100 and having the best stats for a hell of a long time. Nobody will ever be level 100 first again. Heck, I would be level 400 by now if levels weren't capped. Sound cocky much?"
In the opinion of this reporter yes, yes it does. Not that I'd say that to Mr Bodybagger's face of course, out of fear for the things he'd inflict on my own. But after his years of dedication to self-improvement can anyone really begrudge Torn's most fearsome man such confidence? It is interesting to ponder where Torn may be today without the presence of an all-powerful overlord like Bodybagger. Would our streets be safer? Would life be more chaotic? Perhaps if any new players are reading this they share this curiosity, and perhaps, with signs that Bodybagger's lust for carnage is transforming into a mild affection for shenanigans, they will take this interview as inspiration, and begin plotting the downfall of Torn's legendary street warrior.
Official titles aside, Bodybagger has ruled the streets of Torn in every meaningful way for the past seven years, and despite fearing the repercussions of a misquoted phrase or an incriminating typo, this reporter valiantly entered into correspondence with the city's greatest ever player - the results of which are provided for your perusing pleasure below.
TCT: "How does it feel to be the most powerful player in the game?"
BB: "It feels great and wonderful!!! In reality, it really is no big deal. It's just a game after all."
TCT: "Describe a typical day in Torn for you."
BB: "I start by using my energy, claiming bounties, attacking for money, or mugging. I haven't used my energy for training in close to 7 years. Then, I do some crimes with my nerve. At that point, I complete any pending trades I have. Lastly, I answer lots of new players whom ask for advice or valid questions. I then join racing and take a peek at the stock market. Before dinner, I use some more energy and nerve, complete more trades and train people in my company. During the evening at new Torn day I play the casino and check out the forums a little. It's actually a mundane routine, unless there's a faction war going on. Faction wars are fun."
TCT: "You've won over 34,000 attacks at the time of writing. What's the most memorable?
BB: "I have two. When I was a young player and led 7 Zen factions this older player threatened to kill my factions unless I paid a surrender fee. His name was Nota. I hate bullies and would not accept surrender, so our factions warred for several months. They warred us while we campaigned wars on other factions just to survive. Their players were older and stronger. Since I warred so much as a young player my stats weren't terribly good, so I vowed that I would become the strongest player in Torn and I figured a long term plan for my character. Those attacks were a determining point that set the wheels in motion for me to get over 300 trillion in stats. The next most memorable attack was as I set out, for the second time, to be the first player to reach 100, Sifonjerce (then Sifonyer) and I battled daily using each other as punching bags to reach the top. I'm very competitive, and those attacks were fun as hell. I did end up using lots of my money to keep surpassing him since we also had a battle of SEs, but in the end I won."
TCT: "You once hit a streak of 2539. Can you remember how it ended?"
BB: "I ended that streak myself by letting people beat me, so they could put it in their profile. Back in the day I would bomb myself to 1 health, and then the other player would finish me off with a pillow. You see, the pillow was so accurate before it was nerfed that it always hit 1 damage no matter what the stats. Hence the reason for so many wins on me."
TCT: "What's your favourite weapon and why?"
BB: "At first, it was my trusty kitchen knife when funds were low. I then moved on to the Katana just because it was the best cheap weapon at the time, then the macana because it was highly accurate and complemented my stats, then the nunchukas since it was an all-around good weapon and cheap. My theme has always been cheap. I don't like spending tons on items. In the later stages I switched to the dual hammers and still use them now. Of course, I'm often equipped with something else since I constantly upgrade weapons. I love having a fully upgraded pillow and rusty sword. I'm now working on the recently introduced plastic knife."
TCT: "The stats indicate you like to finish off people with a clubbed weapon. Is this because you like the final kill to be up close and personal?"
BB: "Haha, that's a good way to put it. Yes, I do like that. However, I hate reload times and wish the primary and secondary weapons were more useful. Since personal stats have been released I've mostly used dual hammers and that's why the clubbed weapons seem to be my weapon of choice."
TCT: "Will anyone ever become stronger than you?"
BB: "I have no doubt. I've reigned at the top for over 7 years now and I'm not as active as I used to be. It will be done through the use of SEs. It's the only way it can be done. Without using SEs, it would take 100s of years to catch up. Until man figures how to live eternally, just training to catch up is not an option. I hear people complaining all the time about the cool down being the barrier to catch up. That is so much crap. The barrier is money. It only takes 2 to 3 years to reach 1 b in stats. From that point, a person could use 4 SEs per day a person would then have close to 500 trillion in 3 and a half years. Therefore, a total of about 6 years and someone could surpass me. Heck, I have hardly budged in the last 7 years. Most of my active Torn life has been in the first three years. So, as you can see, it makes me laugh when I hear everyone blaming cool downs."
TCT: "You're basically Torn's Superman. Have you ever thought about wearing a fruity lycra number to do your work?"
BB: "Actually, that's what I started wearing the day I reached level 100....under my normal clothes of course. I have an image to hold and the name BodyBagger doesn't go well with lycra. I secretly like the feel of it except when it rides up my bum."
TCT: "Some have called for Torn to name something in your honour. A weapon, an energy drink, or perhaps a new kind of venomous spider. What would be your choice?"
BB: "I've been wanting that for years and I do believe I deserve it. I always thought that an item would be cool and appropriate, such as a bodybag."
TCT: "Locals speculated only someone like Chuck Norris, Cthulhu or Chris Brown could challenge you. Which famous person do you think could take you in real life? And is there anyone in Torn you fear?"
BB: "Haha. Nice. I guess if there was an equivalent to Bruce Lee in the game, then he could beat me. As for what famous person that could take me none, period. I'm an expert in mixed martial arts and I'm trained proficiently in military close combat. People think I'm an over-achiever in Torn. I'm nothing on Torn compared to real life. I also don't fear anyone in Torn."
TCT: "If you could murder anyone famous and get away with it, who would you kill and what would you take as a trophy?"
BB: "I would never kill anyone outside the line of duty. I guess I could just find the entire crew of One Direction and just slap them around a little and take their hair as a trophy. Alright, a little jealousy on the hair part."
TCT: "Away from brawling on the streets you've also celebrated your triple platinum anniversary with your delightful spouse Brainwave. How does your relentless thirst for violence compliment such a harmonious love life?"
BB: "Deep down I'm a lover, not a fighter. Sometimes gentleness is what is needed, sometimes a little roughness takes the win. Like my Mema used to say: 'Variety is the spice of life'."
TCT: "What would you do differently if you started Torn again?"
BB: "I wouldn't have used so early all the SEs I did. I would have waited and would now have 320 sextillion versus only 320 trillion."
TCT: "With so many awards and a pile of rotting corpses left in your wake, what now constitutes an achievement for you in the game?"
BB: "For a while I was working on getting the most awards, and led the pack for a long time. Just recently L4Suicide surpassed me by 1 award. I have many awards close to being finished but I've been extremely busy with work and Torn has been put on the side burner for now. Maybe I'll get back to them once things calm down."
TCT: "How will the people of Torn remember you?"
BB: "Some will remember as a helpful and nice guy, some will remember me as a tyrant, but nobody has the choice but to remember me as the first player to reach level 100 and having the best stats for a hell of a long time. Nobody will ever be level 100 first again. Heck, I would be level 400 by now if levels weren't capped. Sound cocky much?"
In the opinion of this reporter yes, yes it does. Not that I'd say that to Mr Bodybagger's face of course, out of fear for the things he'd inflict on my own. But after his years of dedication to self-improvement can anyone really begrudge Torn's most fearsome man such confidence? It is interesting to ponder where Torn may be today without the presence of an all-powerful overlord like Bodybagger. Would our streets be safer? Would life be more chaotic? Perhaps if any new players are reading this they share this curiosity, and perhaps, with signs that Bodybagger's lust for carnage is transforming into a mild affection for shenanigans, they will take this interview as inspiration, and begin plotting the downfall of Torn's legendary street warrior.
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