Torn City Times

IIIlusionist [253384] — In one of our recent articles we reminisced at length about our memories of the old stock market system, aka the gold mine. This was a time when players would pool their money, either with strangers or among faction members, in order to drive up stocks and sell them for a fat profit. Although many wish we could return to such a profitable time, there is no doubt the stock market of old was not a sustainable system. The new and improved Torn stock market was fairer, less susceptible to manipulation, and also introduced the concept of shareholder dividends. As with real-life trading, the basic principle is fairly straightforward; buy low and sell high. Sounds easy enough right? So you click on over to the stock market and stumble across a ridiculously low-priced offering. Your eyes light up, and you begin mentally spending the imaginary dollars seemingly coming your way. However, on closer inspection, you also find a big fat zero next to the number of shares on ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — So the 2016 Elimination Competition is over, with Mountain Men emerging as winners after a conclusion which felt more anticlimactic than the ending to No Man's Sky combined with a sexless wedding night. Yet for all the lack of drama during Elimination's final weekend, the days running up to it proved as enthralling as anything we've seen in Torn before. Mountain Men started the week with an impressive tally of 61.1 hits per person, and such heavy activity drew the attention of weaker teams intent on dragging these dirty hill-folk down into the gutter. On Tuesday, with thirty minutes remaining until the elimination deadline, Mountain Men found themselves fighting for their lives alongside Knitting Circle, Original Gangsters and 'Murica. Mountain Men eventually hauled themselves out of the drop zone as 'Murica headed home early - presumably to pet their bald eagles and salute a home-made bust of Donald J Trump - but last-minute battles would ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Earlier today Torn saw the dramatic last-minute ejection of Short Bus from the Elimination competition, securing their position as the 8th placed team after a tempestuous final half hour. With thirty minutes left before the deadline it seemed a straight fight between 'Murica on 0, Short Bus on 0 and the Original Gangsters with 2 points, as the 3rd from bottom OG's were a massive 156 points behind 5th placed Pink Power. However, within minutes Pink Power - whose logo seems more of a fuschia-tone to me - were right back in the mix after losing a massive 120 points in but one-quarter of an hour. With 15 minutes to go Pink Power had dropped to a measly 36 points, illustrating just how quickly a team can be dragged into the mix despite a healthy lead. Pink Power's lack of numbers seemingly contributed to their free-fall, as with many members hospitalised they were effectively powerless to resist repeated assaults upon them. 60 seconds were left on the c...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Having had little contact with Torn's company bigwigs before now, this investigation and subsequent article were prompted by a message from an anonymous source; an employee of a local law firm whose director was struggling to get by. He had been placed in temporary charge of the company and discovered to his chagrin that many of Torn's major players were making constant attempts to poach his staff. One particular worker, who shall also remain anonymous, was offered remuneration of $300,000 in exchange for employment, only to inform my source he wanted $500,000 for the pleasure of his presence, bringing with him a paltry 50,000 in working stats. This kind of wage is usually offered to only the most qualified individuals, or at least those with a penchant for short skirts and occasional pen-dropping. With such exorbitant fees being commanded by entirely average workers, over the past month I made myself known to Torn's most notable directors in order...

sugarvalves [1963573] — From sexperts to sales assistants, stylists to strippers; the registered companies of Torn employ over twenty thousand people throughout the city. Yet for all the responsibility which comes with directorship, it seems almost any old schmuck can set up shop here. Most companies fail to turn so much as a single dollar of profit, so those that do are clearly operating in a unique manner to the rest. Becoming a successful director requires a specific set of attributes and skills, so in this series of articles I aim to find out exactly what it takes to join Torn City's elite club of top-level company directors. Initially my inquiries were met with suspicion, with some fearing me to be involved in industrial espionage. Pussycat director Mad_Dog claimed that several rival business owners had already attempted to extract information from him, and when that failed, they made advances towards his employees; "Other directors mostly want to know what your prici...