sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Bounties. Whether you love them, hate them, or you couldn't care less either way, these purchasable hits upon fellow players have undoubtedly had a major impact on the life of ordinary Torn citizens. But for as long as they've been around, bounties have also been abused and complained about, and as such, the forums of Torn have been littered with suggestions regarding a possible solution.
After weeks of my own investigation into the subject, during which time I interviewed both victims and perpetrators, I hoped the matter would come to its own natural conclusion. Alas, with the recent spate of bounties inflicted upon the populace by Mat-Senpai, this is clearly no longer an option. Mat-Senpai has seemingly targeted inactive users with thousands of bounties in a bid to cleanse them from the community and win a bet, but in actuality, the biggest impact of his bountying spree has been to highlight the power wielded by the city's most powerful players.
Only last week our most notorious bountiers exclaimed how their bountying days were behind them, and if they were to continue, how their actions were justified, nay, necessary in keeping Torn functioning. We heard how the slightest error in Torn chat can see you bountied into submission, how begging players are pummelled, and why certain actions will always draw attention towards newcomers to the city.
Yet for all their aggression, these unwritten rules seemed oddly fair, as in any society the gilded elite are capable of bullying the weak into submission through virtue of their power. If you popped round to Bill Gates house, kicked his dog to death, smeared marmalade on his wife's thighs and called his son a turd-burgling little bitch, Gates Sr could probably arrange for some harm to come your way.
But no, this is different. This is a flexing of the muscles if ever I saw one, for if Mat-Senpai is capable of a thousand-fold bountying spree, why not Collete, why not Krakfreak or Unknown-Element, or God forbid Dekloren. As it stands, the old guard has the power to decide who is worthy of bounties and who is not. They act like the village elders you'd find ruling some remote jungle tribe, except with more malevolence, less nudity, and far more genital piercings...so I've heard.
Both new and established players have drawn attention to this situation, with L4suicide getting in on the act by proposing a new bountying system via the forums three months ago. Her suggestion of a 200k fee levied onto each additional bounty divided the community, yet even this exhausting 20-page post has brought us no closer to a conclusion.
So with newcomers turned away in droves and long-term players such as LVCY bountied out of the game, will Mat-Senpai's actions finally bring the community down in favour of one measure over another? Plenty of solutions have been offered, with some favouring new players too much, and others open to abuse in new and terrifying ways. Whatever changes we make to the bountying system, if any, we must ensure it retains some form of justice, while also allowing people to have fun at the expense of others.
With this in mind, I have drawn up a list of possible modifications to the bountying system. Some of these were inspired by the suggestions of others, whereas many were plucked firmly from my own smooth, shaven posterior. Perhaps somewhere in this list lies the solution, but if I'm honest, I doubt this is an issue that will be resolved anytime soon.
BULLY BOUNTIES
Repeat bounties are made more expensive, but the price shall be lowered for each additional citizen who places a bounty on the same individual. This means that should someone step out of line, multiple players may punish them without enduring too much of a financial burden. It also means that Torn's passion for group bullying will in effect become state sponsored.
BOUNTIES OF REASON
Each bounty placed must be accompanied by a statement of reason from the bountier, explaining in no less than 100 words why that person has been bountied. An algorithm shall be used to detect whether someone has merely pasted "Because he is a d**k" 20 times over. This way, bountiers must think carefully about their actions, and bounty receivers can see where they done goofed.
DEMOCRATIC BOUNTIES
Players must provide a 10-word description for their bounty and citizens must then ratify it with a vote. Yes or no options are given, and if a majority is achieved the bounty is placed. If the reason is not accepted by the community, the bounty is declined. It is speculated that the user most likely to suffer from this popularity-based system is MarlonBrando.
THE APPEAL
Similar to the above method, if players are hit with more than five bounties in 24 hours they may pay a fee to appeal their treatment. A Torn Courtroom is established where both parties state their case briefly. The community votes on each incident, and either allows the bounties to be placed or forces a cancellation of the bounties without refund. And yes, funny judge wigs are mandatory.
POWER PLAY
Bounties now cost energy and happiness rather than cash, but in a bid to placate the city's strongest they are no longer capped at 10. If you wish to place fifty bounties on a newcomer because they used all caps in a message or called you a wazzock on the forums then feel free, but you will end up tired and depressed beyond tablets, so choose wisely.
A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD
Multiply your level by 100,000. Multiply your opponent's level by 100,000. Take the latter away from the former, and this is your bounty fee. This is aimed at dissuading higher level players from bountying, but in order to once more placate the strongest players, we would also introduce a failure fee incurred by those who attempt to claim a bounty and fail.
SAFE SPACE
The creation of a new apartment building where recent arrivals may live away from the fear of the outside world. Here, bounties cannot be collected, bad words are prohibited, the walls are adorned with puppy-based artwork, everything is painted a neutral shade of beige, and aggressive hand gestures are not tolerated. Furthermore, everything is made from pillows and quinoa.
ANOTHER LEVEL PLAYING FIELD
Your bounty limit is your level. If JohnCena69 is a level 1, she can have one bounty placed upon herself. If DVDA-TEAM is a level 12, they may have twelve bounties placed upon them. This does mean, however, that Level 100 Soggy-Derek1984 can have as many as 100 bounties put on his large, moistened head. The idea is that as players get older, they hopefully become less stupid. If not, their bounty risk becomes higher.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
You may only bounty as many people as you have friends. If you are a loser who nobody likes, you cannot place any bounties. Again, this may disproportionately affect MarlonBrando.
COWARD'S BANNER
For players who repeatedly bounty and refuse to do their own dirty work, their status bar is changed permanently yellow to reflect the fact they are indeed a cowardly cowardly custard. This is an adjustment to LVCY's idea that players should be branded paedophiles for bountying those 50 levels lower than themselves, which may be a step too far.
DUKE
Duke's emotional stability is up for question, as he flits between pity and vengeance on a daily basis. But he has helped bounty victims in the past, so should he do more? Could he buy off multiple bounties again? Might he target repeat bountiers with his own aggression? If so, he clearly can't do it on his own. So perhaps he'll need help.
COMPENSATION
Players take a 50% cut of the bounty fee placed on them for compensation and distress. This compensation is automatically donated to the Church, where Jesus will teach you how to forgive.
BOUNTY LIMIT
Each citizen can post x bounties a month. Once they're used up you can buy more at an exorbitant price. Like extra smartphone data, but even more extortionate.
HAPPY ENDING
Bounties are able to be claimed without hospitalising or injuring your opponent. Duke's recent missions allow you to inflict mental rather than physical pain upon your adversary by kissing them, so from now on bounties may be completed through hot mouth action, or maybe even a lovely handshake.
IMMUNITY
100% bounty immunity if you want it, BUT, it comes at a price. What price? It could be anything. You lose 10% of your cash for every day spent immune. You're forced to wear a dunce hat and Hannah Montana pyjamas. You have to look at Duke's nude selfies for ten minutes every day. Something foul and degrading.
BOUNTY COOL OFF
Allow bounty cool offs for one hour after leaving hospital. If you've been a jackass, you've got one hour to get your stuff done before someone puts you back in again. This would allow even the city's stupidest players to enjoy Torn, with the hourly return to the hospital helping them to realise what a silly billy they've been. However, the bounty board illuminates your name in bright pink letters once you've exited the hospital, letting everyone know you're ripe for the taking once more.
THE BEGGAR'S BANQUET
Rather than bountying, players can be labelled as beggars if they repeatedly ask for items or stink up the place with their noise. Ten labels means you are sent to the dump, which is your enforced residence for 30 days, and here you may scavenge all the items you like. However, you may also only chat to other beggars there, like the smelly hobo you are.
TRAINING
Make new players go through a course on Torn etiquette with a series of situations, dictating to them how it is appropriate to behave in certain situations. For example, when asking for a loan in the global chat and you are declined should you a) apologise and politely leave, b) call everyone f**ktards or c) ask again?
LEAVE AS IS
The final option is to do nothing to bounties, but to replace all mentions of the word bounty in the forums, including pluralisations, with the words BLACK PEOPLE. That way, whenever anyone says "we need to do something about bounties" or "I hate bounties" or "bounties don't work" that person will seem like a racist, and hopefully the issue will go away.
After weeks of my own investigation into the subject, during which time I interviewed both victims and perpetrators, I hoped the matter would come to its own natural conclusion. Alas, with the recent spate of bounties inflicted upon the populace by Mat-Senpai, this is clearly no longer an option. Mat-Senpai has seemingly targeted inactive users with thousands of bounties in a bid to cleanse them from the community and win a bet, but in actuality, the biggest impact of his bountying spree has been to highlight the power wielded by the city's most powerful players.
Only last week our most notorious bountiers exclaimed how their bountying days were behind them, and if they were to continue, how their actions were justified, nay, necessary in keeping Torn functioning. We heard how the slightest error in Torn chat can see you bountied into submission, how begging players are pummelled, and why certain actions will always draw attention towards newcomers to the city.
Yet for all their aggression, these unwritten rules seemed oddly fair, as in any society the gilded elite are capable of bullying the weak into submission through virtue of their power. If you popped round to Bill Gates house, kicked his dog to death, smeared marmalade on his wife's thighs and called his son a turd-burgling little bitch, Gates Sr could probably arrange for some harm to come your way.
But no, this is different. This is a flexing of the muscles if ever I saw one, for if Mat-Senpai is capable of a thousand-fold bountying spree, why not Collete, why not Krakfreak or Unknown-Element, or God forbid Dekloren. As it stands, the old guard has the power to decide who is worthy of bounties and who is not. They act like the village elders you'd find ruling some remote jungle tribe, except with more malevolence, less nudity, and far more genital piercings...so I've heard.
Both new and established players have drawn attention to this situation, with L4suicide getting in on the act by proposing a new bountying system via the forums three months ago. Her suggestion of a 200k fee levied onto each additional bounty divided the community, yet even this exhausting 20-page post has brought us no closer to a conclusion.
So with newcomers turned away in droves and long-term players such as LVCY bountied out of the game, will Mat-Senpai's actions finally bring the community down in favour of one measure over another? Plenty of solutions have been offered, with some favouring new players too much, and others open to abuse in new and terrifying ways. Whatever changes we make to the bountying system, if any, we must ensure it retains some form of justice, while also allowing people to have fun at the expense of others.
With this in mind, I have drawn up a list of possible modifications to the bountying system. Some of these were inspired by the suggestions of others, whereas many were plucked firmly from my own smooth, shaven posterior. Perhaps somewhere in this list lies the solution, but if I'm honest, I doubt this is an issue that will be resolved anytime soon.
BULLY BOUNTIES
Repeat bounties are made more expensive, but the price shall be lowered for each additional citizen who places a bounty on the same individual. This means that should someone step out of line, multiple players may punish them without enduring too much of a financial burden. It also means that Torn's passion for group bullying will in effect become state sponsored.
BOUNTIES OF REASON
Each bounty placed must be accompanied by a statement of reason from the bountier, explaining in no less than 100 words why that person has been bountied. An algorithm shall be used to detect whether someone has merely pasted "Because he is a d**k" 20 times over. This way, bountiers must think carefully about their actions, and bounty receivers can see where they done goofed.
DEMOCRATIC BOUNTIES
Players must provide a 10-word description for their bounty and citizens must then ratify it with a vote. Yes or no options are given, and if a majority is achieved the bounty is placed. If the reason is not accepted by the community, the bounty is declined. It is speculated that the user most likely to suffer from this popularity-based system is MarlonBrando.
THE APPEAL
Similar to the above method, if players are hit with more than five bounties in 24 hours they may pay a fee to appeal their treatment. A Torn Courtroom is established where both parties state their case briefly. The community votes on each incident, and either allows the bounties to be placed or forces a cancellation of the bounties without refund. And yes, funny judge wigs are mandatory.
POWER PLAY
Bounties now cost energy and happiness rather than cash, but in a bid to placate the city's strongest they are no longer capped at 10. If you wish to place fifty bounties on a newcomer because they used all caps in a message or called you a wazzock on the forums then feel free, but you will end up tired and depressed beyond tablets, so choose wisely.
A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD
Multiply your level by 100,000. Multiply your opponent's level by 100,000. Take the latter away from the former, and this is your bounty fee. This is aimed at dissuading higher level players from bountying, but in order to once more placate the strongest players, we would also introduce a failure fee incurred by those who attempt to claim a bounty and fail.
SAFE SPACE
The creation of a new apartment building where recent arrivals may live away from the fear of the outside world. Here, bounties cannot be collected, bad words are prohibited, the walls are adorned with puppy-based artwork, everything is painted a neutral shade of beige, and aggressive hand gestures are not tolerated. Furthermore, everything is made from pillows and quinoa.
ANOTHER LEVEL PLAYING FIELD
Your bounty limit is your level. If JohnCena69 is a level 1, she can have one bounty placed upon herself. If DVDA-TEAM is a level 12, they may have twelve bounties placed upon them. This does mean, however, that Level 100 Soggy-Derek1984 can have as many as 100 bounties put on his large, moistened head. The idea is that as players get older, they hopefully become less stupid. If not, their bounty risk becomes higher.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS
You may only bounty as many people as you have friends. If you are a loser who nobody likes, you cannot place any bounties. Again, this may disproportionately affect MarlonBrando.
COWARD'S BANNER
For players who repeatedly bounty and refuse to do their own dirty work, their status bar is changed permanently yellow to reflect the fact they are indeed a cowardly cowardly custard. This is an adjustment to LVCY's idea that players should be branded paedophiles for bountying those 50 levels lower than themselves, which may be a step too far.
DUKE
Duke's emotional stability is up for question, as he flits between pity and vengeance on a daily basis. But he has helped bounty victims in the past, so should he do more? Could he buy off multiple bounties again? Might he target repeat bountiers with his own aggression? If so, he clearly can't do it on his own. So perhaps he'll need help.
COMPENSATION
Players take a 50% cut of the bounty fee placed on them for compensation and distress. This compensation is automatically donated to the Church, where Jesus will teach you how to forgive.
BOUNTY LIMIT
Each citizen can post x bounties a month. Once they're used up you can buy more at an exorbitant price. Like extra smartphone data, but even more extortionate.
HAPPY ENDING
Bounties are able to be claimed without hospitalising or injuring your opponent. Duke's recent missions allow you to inflict mental rather than physical pain upon your adversary by kissing them, so from now on bounties may be completed through hot mouth action, or maybe even a lovely handshake.
IMMUNITY
100% bounty immunity if you want it, BUT, it comes at a price. What price? It could be anything. You lose 10% of your cash for every day spent immune. You're forced to wear a dunce hat and Hannah Montana pyjamas. You have to look at Duke's nude selfies for ten minutes every day. Something foul and degrading.
BOUNTY COOL OFF
Allow bounty cool offs for one hour after leaving hospital. If you've been a jackass, you've got one hour to get your stuff done before someone puts you back in again. This would allow even the city's stupidest players to enjoy Torn, with the hourly return to the hospital helping them to realise what a silly billy they've been. However, the bounty board illuminates your name in bright pink letters once you've exited the hospital, letting everyone know you're ripe for the taking once more.
THE BEGGAR'S BANQUET
Rather than bountying, players can be labelled as beggars if they repeatedly ask for items or stink up the place with their noise. Ten labels means you are sent to the dump, which is your enforced residence for 30 days, and here you may scavenge all the items you like. However, you may also only chat to other beggars there, like the smelly hobo you are.
TRAINING
Make new players go through a course on Torn etiquette with a series of situations, dictating to them how it is appropriate to behave in certain situations. For example, when asking for a loan in the global chat and you are declined should you a) apologise and politely leave, b) call everyone f**ktards or c) ask again?
LEAVE AS IS
The final option is to do nothing to bounties, but to replace all mentions of the word bounty in the forums, including pluralisations, with the words BLACK PEOPLE. That way, whenever anyone says "we need to do something about bounties" or "I hate bounties" or "bounties don't work" that person will seem like a racist, and hopefully the issue will go away.
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