sugarvalves [1963573] —
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The warring period of the 2017 Elimination competition began in controversial style yesterday, as it was revealed that hundreds of male citizens had disguised themselves as women to gain entry into the female-only team Pink Power.
Before we get into that naughty business though, we have some admin to take care of. The scoring system for elimination has been tweaked, with hospitalisations now scoring 0 for the attacker and deducting 3 for the victim, leave scoring 3 for the attacker and deducting 0 from the victim, and mugging scoring 1 for the attacker and deducting one from the victim.
Now, onto more salacious matters. Members of two factions, Milk and Cookies and JFA, stand accused of changing genders to rig the team selection process in their favour. One faction would typically find it hard to flood a team with their members since Elimination entrants are offered a choice of four teams from twelve entirely at random. However, there are two teams which are restricted based on players' gender; Mountain Men and Pink Power. Last year it seems just one-third of all women were offered entry into Pink Power. This year it has been decided that all women should be allowed the option of joining the women-only faction, with Pink Power afforded a mandatory place as one of their four choices.
Subsequently, by lopping off their winkies, putting on makeup and complaining more than usual, members of MnC and JFK have successfully duped the authorities and had themselves assigned as females. 52 of JFA's 91 members are now women, with 83 of MnC's crew also looking ravishing this evening. I was alerted to this situation by [REDACTED], who informed me that these ingenious gender-benders were not only instructed to masquerade as the fairer sex by their faction leaders but that they may have had help in this matter from someone on the inside.
"[It] looks suspiciously like a change was made to ensure more female players were given PP as a team option and these two factions took advantage of that. They either banked on a change being made, or they knew a change had been made. Seeing as some are committee and even staff, that seems like either way; they exploited an opportunity to leverage a change in game mechanics rather than flagging it so it could be avoided."
For clarification on this issue, I spoke to Milk and Cookies co-leader Nova - who looked resplendent in a lovely little off the shoulder number - and the following words did soon spill forth from his flowery gusset.
"I'm not sure referring to it 'as an attempt to manipulation is the correct terminology, but the direct answer to your question on whether or not MnC and JFA have been filling up Pink Power, the answer is yes...I saw a way to get the majority of my friends / faction / allies on the same team, thus I shared my plan for us to change our gender to female and it was agreed upon. However, this was still a gamble since last year only 1/3 of female players were even given the option to join Pink Power, but this year to our advantage Chedburn changed this to allow all those with a female gender to join Pink Power."
"Saying this I don't believe it will affect the competition, since we put about 200 good players in this team, but with the lack of females in Torn, the rest of the members joining the team will be relatively weak. I simply spotted a way to enable my friends to join the same team and thus carried it out. I believe the competition will still carry itself out exactly the same last year and with the strongest team 'Pirates' being Elimination first last year, I believe we took a big risk of being eliminated first."
Nova went on to tell me that it was pure luck Chedburn changed the number of females being offered membership of Pink Power - but a scoundrel would say something like that, wouldn't they? JFA leader and Officer Stretch has also indulged his feminine side recently, but claims he was not directly involved in this scheme, and nor was he the spiller of beans regarding the changes to Pink Power allocation.
"I had little to do with any of it to be honest, Nova contacted Pen, asked him if we were interested in going PP and then Penicillin sent out a newsletter to JFA, I don't know what if any knowledge there was to the 100% nature of joining PP as I didn't know that was the case and I follow along/contribute in the committee forums regularly since the day I was accepted there. I went with the faction as it seemed like a good sensible choice. Beyond that, I had no idea what % was or wasn't allowed to be chosen for a team. It just seemed like a pretty logical choice to get a bunch of us on the same team. Last year was like herding cats on cocaine when I ran OG."
I have yet to discern whether foul play or fortuity is to blame for the infiltration of Pink Power by the legions of the unsullied. I have also not decided if this whole thing is a good idea or not, since a poll conducted by NailliVrM seems to indicate that the actions of JFA and MnC have made Pink Power a prime candidate for the first elimination spot this Friday.
Chedburn agrees with this assessment, believing that those who have sought to worm their way into Pink Power through untoward means have shot themselves in the foot - albeit an exquisitely manicured one - and will likely end up being sent home early. Our Supreme Leader also assured me that changes would be made next year to avoid a repeat of this year's chromosomal confusion, but this will prove small comfort to the genuine ladies of Pink Power who now face elimination through no fault of their own. One wonders what they must think about their team being targeted due to the presence of non-superpowered ex-Men, and whether the members of MnC and JFA considered this issue at all before they softened their voices and put cute little curls in their hair.
Personally, I believe anyone who changed gender for the purposes of elimination should be punished by forcing them to remain as women for twelve months. This act would result in said players having to endure a torrent of unwanted d**k pics from their male counterparts, and I'd also enforce a tax which led to them earning 78% of their previous wage until their true gender was restored.
As for their standing in the actual competition itself, Pink Power seem to be holding their own for the moment. If an elimination had occurred at 5 pm today, then it would have been 'Murica who were sent back home to wherever they came from, with Illuminati ahead in 11th by 96 points and Original Gangsters topping the table with 189.
As you can see from the results above, those with 1000 members are not doing as well as you might think. There are exactly 10,100 people taking part in this year's competition, which is 763 lower than the total for the inaugural event in 2016. Out of that amount, there are only five 1000-strong teams compared to seven last year. The first four teams to be eliminated in 2016 were 1000-members strong, with the other three coming in 1st, 3rd and 6th respectively.
Regarding those with the fewest recruits, this year's least popular team is the Pacifists - of whom both myself and Chedburn are members - with 507 players choosing to adopt the mantra of the daffodil sucking hippy. Last year's least-subscribed team were Pink Power, who managed to achieve fifth with just 479 members and not a single penis amongst their ranks.
So contrary to the assertions by some, the least popular teams probably won't leave the competition first, and nor are the most popular guaranteed to do well. Elimination's major players are more focused on removing their biggest threats rather than eliminating the little guys - you should never go for the dwarves when you're in a war, hence why Tyrion Lannister remains alive to this day.
However, for those teams who are down at the bottom, you may want to get your ass in gear and make some bloody attacks. The number of attacks a team has made will be used as a secondary decider for placings should your scores be even. 'Murica's 594 members have only made 2043 attacks, but the mighty Pacifists have made one and a half times more with 87 fewer members. So, if come 5 pm your team is drawing even with another, you'll have no-one to blame but yourselves for going home early.
Not that this will stop anyone complaining, mind.
FORUM POST SUGGESTIONS IF YOUR TEAM GOES OUT EARLY
OMG Elimination is a fix Pink Power should have gone out #fedNova #fedMnC #banJFA #fedfakefemales
Elimination is a joke I'm not entering next year because INSERT TEAM used INSERT EXCUSE to win and my parents never loved me.
I can't believe INSERT TEAM went out it was fixed if only Ched had done INSERT THING and INSERT IMPOSSIBLE THING we would have won. I haven't donated but I won't now forever I promise.
I saw INSERT TEAM survive but then the clock passed 5pm and my team went out look here's eight million screenshots to prove it.
Before we get into that naughty business though, we have some admin to take care of. The scoring system for elimination has been tweaked, with hospitalisations now scoring 0 for the attacker and deducting 3 for the victim, leave scoring 3 for the attacker and deducting 0 from the victim, and mugging scoring 1 for the attacker and deducting one from the victim.
Now, onto more salacious matters. Members of two factions, Milk and Cookies and JFA, stand accused of changing genders to rig the team selection process in their favour. One faction would typically find it hard to flood a team with their members since Elimination entrants are offered a choice of four teams from twelve entirely at random. However, there are two teams which are restricted based on players' gender; Mountain Men and Pink Power. Last year it seems just one-third of all women were offered entry into Pink Power. This year it has been decided that all women should be allowed the option of joining the women-only faction, with Pink Power afforded a mandatory place as one of their four choices.
Subsequently, by lopping off their winkies, putting on makeup and complaining more than usual, members of MnC and JFK have successfully duped the authorities and had themselves assigned as females. 52 of JFA's 91 members are now women, with 83 of MnC's crew also looking ravishing this evening. I was alerted to this situation by [REDACTED], who informed me that these ingenious gender-benders were not only instructed to masquerade as the fairer sex by their faction leaders but that they may have had help in this matter from someone on the inside.
"[It] looks suspiciously like a change was made to ensure more female players were given PP as a team option and these two factions took advantage of that. They either banked on a change being made, or they knew a change had been made. Seeing as some are committee and even staff, that seems like either way; they exploited an opportunity to leverage a change in game mechanics rather than flagging it so it could be avoided."
For clarification on this issue, I spoke to Milk and Cookies co-leader Nova - who looked resplendent in a lovely little off the shoulder number - and the following words did soon spill forth from his flowery gusset.
"I'm not sure referring to it 'as an attempt to manipulation is the correct terminology, but the direct answer to your question on whether or not MnC and JFA have been filling up Pink Power, the answer is yes...I saw a way to get the majority of my friends / faction / allies on the same team, thus I shared my plan for us to change our gender to female and it was agreed upon. However, this was still a gamble since last year only 1/3 of female players were even given the option to join Pink Power, but this year to our advantage Chedburn changed this to allow all those with a female gender to join Pink Power."
"Saying this I don't believe it will affect the competition, since we put about 200 good players in this team, but with the lack of females in Torn, the rest of the members joining the team will be relatively weak. I simply spotted a way to enable my friends to join the same team and thus carried it out. I believe the competition will still carry itself out exactly the same last year and with the strongest team 'Pirates' being Elimination first last year, I believe we took a big risk of being eliminated first."
Nova went on to tell me that it was pure luck Chedburn changed the number of females being offered membership of Pink Power - but a scoundrel would say something like that, wouldn't they? JFA leader and Officer Stretch has also indulged his feminine side recently, but claims he was not directly involved in this scheme, and nor was he the spiller of beans regarding the changes to Pink Power allocation.
"I had little to do with any of it to be honest, Nova contacted Pen, asked him if we were interested in going PP and then Penicillin sent out a newsletter to JFA, I don't know what if any knowledge there was to the 100% nature of joining PP as I didn't know that was the case and I follow along/contribute in the committee forums regularly since the day I was accepted there. I went with the faction as it seemed like a good sensible choice. Beyond that, I had no idea what % was or wasn't allowed to be chosen for a team. It just seemed like a pretty logical choice to get a bunch of us on the same team. Last year was like herding cats on cocaine when I ran OG."
I have yet to discern whether foul play or fortuity is to blame for the infiltration of Pink Power by the legions of the unsullied. I have also not decided if this whole thing is a good idea or not, since a poll conducted by NailliVrM seems to indicate that the actions of JFA and MnC have made Pink Power a prime candidate for the first elimination spot this Friday.
Chedburn agrees with this assessment, believing that those who have sought to worm their way into Pink Power through untoward means have shot themselves in the foot - albeit an exquisitely manicured one - and will likely end up being sent home early. Our Supreme Leader also assured me that changes would be made next year to avoid a repeat of this year's chromosomal confusion, but this will prove small comfort to the genuine ladies of Pink Power who now face elimination through no fault of their own. One wonders what they must think about their team being targeted due to the presence of non-superpowered ex-Men, and whether the members of MnC and JFA considered this issue at all before they softened their voices and put cute little curls in their hair.
Personally, I believe anyone who changed gender for the purposes of elimination should be punished by forcing them to remain as women for twelve months. This act would result in said players having to endure a torrent of unwanted d**k pics from their male counterparts, and I'd also enforce a tax which led to them earning 78% of their previous wage until their true gender was restored.
As for their standing in the actual competition itself, Pink Power seem to be holding their own for the moment. If an elimination had occurred at 5 pm today, then it would have been 'Murica who were sent back home to wherever they came from, with Illuminati ahead in 11th by 96 points and Original Gangsters topping the table with 189.
As you can see from the results above, those with 1000 members are not doing as well as you might think. There are exactly 10,100 people taking part in this year's competition, which is 763 lower than the total for the inaugural event in 2016. Out of that amount, there are only five 1000-strong teams compared to seven last year. The first four teams to be eliminated in 2016 were 1000-members strong, with the other three coming in 1st, 3rd and 6th respectively.
Regarding those with the fewest recruits, this year's least popular team is the Pacifists - of whom both myself and Chedburn are members - with 507 players choosing to adopt the mantra of the daffodil sucking hippy. Last year's least-subscribed team were Pink Power, who managed to achieve fifth with just 479 members and not a single penis amongst their ranks.
So contrary to the assertions by some, the least popular teams probably won't leave the competition first, and nor are the most popular guaranteed to do well. Elimination's major players are more focused on removing their biggest threats rather than eliminating the little guys - you should never go for the dwarves when you're in a war, hence why Tyrion Lannister remains alive to this day.
However, for those teams who are down at the bottom, you may want to get your ass in gear and make some bloody attacks. The number of attacks a team has made will be used as a secondary decider for placings should your scores be even. 'Murica's 594 members have only made 2043 attacks, but the mighty Pacifists have made one and a half times more with 87 fewer members. So, if come 5 pm your team is drawing even with another, you'll have no-one to blame but yourselves for going home early.
Not that this will stop anyone complaining, mind.
FORUM POST SUGGESTIONS IF YOUR TEAM GOES OUT EARLY
OMG Elimination is a fix Pink Power should have gone out #fedNova #fedMnC #banJFA #fedfakefemales
Elimination is a joke I'm not entering next year because INSERT TEAM used INSERT EXCUSE to win and my parents never loved me.
I can't believe INSERT TEAM went out it was fixed if only Ched had done INSERT THING and INSERT IMPOSSIBLE THING we would have won. I haven't donated but I won't now forever I promise.
I saw INSERT TEAM survive but then the clock passed 5pm and my team went out look here's eight million screenshots to prove it.
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