sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
To the uninitiated, Torn's forums can be an unforgiving beast - I certainly thought so when I first arrived here. My initial impression was that the message boards were a place where many people reckoned something, but few knew much of anything worth knowing. Some would argue that this remains the case today. I would argue that. I would argue that until my face was so blue I looked like a throttled smurf.
However, soon I began to notice that among the few level-headed people out there, one in particular often had the right take on almost every topic: Sweeney Todd. Every one of his comments was 100k retweet worthy; whether it was a line on the federal jailing of an errant faction leader or his musings on a forthcoming update, Sweeney seemed to have this knack of being able to cut straight to the point and offer an impartial view on the major happenings in Torn City.
(Honestly, I reckon he could sort this business out in an afternoon)
And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Anyone familiar with the forums knows that Sweeney, an ex-staff member, is extremely well-liked among the people. I've seen him walk down the street wearing nothing but an old sack, only for men and women to throw themselves at his feet and burst out crying. Even one man he used to call his enemy, Lonestar, has good things to say about his former adversary.
"Sweeney was a pain in the ass but not one I would call an enemy - more of a frenemy. Good lad and we do get on...mostly lol."
Universal admiration for a member of staff is a rare thing indeed. There has been a depressing trend in recent years where a lack of respect for staff is something to show off as a badge of honour. Many hard-working moderators and officers are derided en-masse by people they don't know for crimes they haven't committed. And yet Sweeney seems to have evaded this baseless criticism. Why? How? Whaaa?
"As an old fella of 46, I tend to have a level head, although I can be a right pain if the mood takes me. I treat people equally and tend to tell people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. Always been against scammers and cheats and I guess that has reflected on how a lot of players see me. Some also see me as a sarcastic git, which is also true."
Sweeney wasn't always the golden boy of the forums, though. At one point he was the scourge of the staff whose ranks he would later join. And eventually, rather than attempting to reign in the young scallywag, those in charge decided to befriend him and put his talents to good use. In that way, he's a bit like a member of the A-Team, or the Suicide Squad, depending on your frame of reference. For argument's sake, let's just say that Sweeney_Todd is a mixture of BA Baracus and Harley Quinn.
(Pictured: An image nobody needs to see, but everyone wants to)
"A long time ago, I was a bit of a devil in the forums. Never broke the rules, but did push them, especially to get under the skin of an idiot spouting off. Problem with written rules is that anyone with half a brain can worm around them with ease. A couple of staff messaged me asking me to join staff, as they thought it would be easier to have me on their side."
I always tried to play fair as staff, and would quite happily discuss issues with players. I was most famous for forum modding, which I enjoyed, although sometimes it could take hours of your day. I tend not to get involved with in game politics, especially faction disputes. When I was staff I would always listen to players who felt I had locked a thread in error, and I would change my decision if they changed my mind."
Sweeney's performance as a staff member has not gone unnoticed by the people - there are frequent calls for his reinstatement still today. Sadly, Sweeney says those days are long gone, citing the exit of a fellow favourite and the changes to forums as the motivating factors behind his decision to abandon us all like our fathers already have.
"In the end, when Clansy left, I could see the changes Ched had in mind for the forums and I thought it would take the fun element out for me, hence why I finally quit."
As someone whose Torn life is centered on the forums, Sweeney is well-placed to offer critique of the current system. Despite the fact that forum participation has increased massively thanks to recent change, Sweeney believes that a lax attitude towards moderation has led to spam and karma whoring which offer nothing to the community.
"Karma caused the instinctive behaviour of getting bigger numbers, something that has always been a core of the game's mindset. I've seen it on other forums and it is always abused one way or the other. Threads like that would have been sent to the graveyard and warnings and bans would have been issued months ago. Probably by me."
(Exhibit A)
Various suggestions have been made to alleviate this problem, with the simplest being the reinstatement of the old rules. However, with Torn's authorities keen to retain the increased number of posters we've seen since restrictions were eased, this option hasn't been seriously considered. Other ideas like negative karma, karma bans or nude public shaming are rejected outright by Sweeney too, due to the obvious opportunity for abuse.
"Only problem is putting restrictions on negative karma is that players could be targeted, through no fault of their own, and given negative karma, restricting their posting abilities... make spam against the rules again - warning, followed by ban."
If it wasn't already apparent, the forums are the main draw in Torn City for Sweeney. He isn't bothered about money, he has no interest in building stats, and he cares not for faction wars unless it's for a bit of fun. What he loves is following the latest drama, tracking where and how it beings to unfold. And if anything gets in the way of that, be it a troll, spammer or rule change, then this may be the only thing Sweeney can make himself take seriously.
"The forums have always been the most fun for me. Money doesn't really mean much to me, nor do stats and supposed power. The forums have changed, somewhat for the worse at current, due to the lack of staff powers in shutting down trolls. But it is up to players to make the changes they want now."
"Trying to steer players is like trying to hold back the sea. They will flow where they wish, but you can hope that a little more self-policing and a little more friendliness would go a long way."
The desire to see Torn's forums return to their former glory is just one of the things that have kept Sweeney here for over twelve years, in which time he could have raised a twelve-year-old boy, watched several guinea pigs be born and die, or used up twelve calendars. Having arrived on Thursday, March 17th, 2005, he describes his early persona as a stubborn bugger who, if he were to meet him today, he'd mess about with and add to his friends list as someone to watch.
It's hard to imagine many players sticking around for this long with nothing but message boards to occupy them. But that is to ignore what keeps Sweeney here; because by his own admission, he sees Torn as less of a game and more of a social media platform.
"Torn is kind of an addiction, pure and simple. There is always that 'I'll just log in to see what's going on' factor for me, so more of a social hub, especially as I don't do facebook, twitter, etc."
"Torn attracts geeks and nerds, and I mean that in a good way. People who want to talk more about what the latest celeb is up too or pictures of what they are eating... I do not think the players of Torn are celebrity type people who rely on Heat magazine as their prime source of news."
Another thing which keeps Sweeney going is his ability to amuse himself. One of the ways he achieves this is through the deliberately lacklustre efforts of his faction, The Old Pie Shop, which is sometimes known as the Black Pearl. These days Sweeney is the sole member of this faction, but when others were involved this group was his pride and joy.
"We gained a lot of respect from other factions as we didn't take it that seriously and would often war the big factions like JFK with nothing but frying pans, just for giggles."
With his faction seemingly now inactive, Sweeney has decided to focus his efforts on irritating someone who will be all too familiar to those who peruse the forums. Sweeney's target, who he refuses to describe as a nemesis, is known for posting reams of forgetable content in a vain bid to acquire some sort of status within the Torn City community.
I am of course talking about Marlonbrando.
"Currently, I am having fun having a one man war against Marlon, as it is always fun to smack him around a bit. He takes the game seriously at times. I wouldn't say I war him in the forums, but I do like to insert a little truth and reality into his threads, although to be honest, it's like headbutting a wall."
"He is a very focused young man. I wouldn't describe him as my nemesis, although I'm sure he'd like the title. But yes he does encourage other shitposters, most of whom can now be found in his faction, hence my current shits and giggles."
Sweeney plans to keep warring with Marlonbrando until he gets bored. To ensure that he doesn't lose interest, this reporter has made an application to join The Pie Shop in a bid to diversify its approach and help the fightback against those who would spam our fair city's forums. Hopefully, Marlonbrando will see this act as the silly piece of fun which it is - although I expect a poll will be in the works the minute he reads this article.
Sweeney believes that too many people take Torn life far too seriously, taking offence when their cosy little world is subjected to change or disruption. This is something we've all seen in action ourselves. The slightest alteration to a company mechanic, the most minute little tweak to a certain item, one little bit of the game that doesn't go their way; people lose their minds and seem to develop a special kind of crazy when the world of Torn doesn't quite act how they think it should do.
"Some players put it onto their CVs, I am sure. Mainly players whine in the forums to get attention as they perceive their game style to be the only one worth playing and anyone or anything that changes this is unfair or plain stupid. Worst part of human nature, fearing change."
"Having fun is my only goal not just in Torn, but real life. Yes, I have to do a job that doesn't make me leap out of bed each day and thank the stars, but it does pay the bills and keeps wine in the fridge. Money, stats and power are all just fleeting moments, where as shits and giggles last for ages."
Sweeney seems to have more fun thanks to his attitude towards Torn, and this is something which extends to his life in general too. The reason he can be so fair on each and every issue is the same reason he enjoys Torn: He simply does not care.
"A couple of years ago I was suffering from stress and depression, mainly from work and other factors. I read a book called "f**k it", and it changed my life overnight. Teaches you to live for the now. Yesterday you can't change, and tomorrow hasn't happened, so f**k it and enjoy today."
"I think even before my troubles, people thought of me as a fair staff member. I treated everyone the same, from newb to level 100. Also I told people what they needed to hear rather than what they wanted to hear. Plus I make people laugh, and laughter is a great human trait that brings all people together."
When I asked Sweeney if he had any suggestions for changes to Torn his sense of fun permeated all of them. He wanted to bring back cut throat razors just because he misses them. He believes small factions should be able to annoy their larger rivals by tagging their territory, sacking their clubhouse and spreading propaganda. Sweeney also thinks that children under the age of three should be allowed to have accounts. That last one is a lie, but Sweeney probably believes it. Regarding Mr Todd's genuine suggestions, he says that such things would bring more of a challenge to the system of warring, and it is hard to disagree.
So then, if Sweeney_Todd is such a good mediator, if he is fair-minded enough to offer up an informed, amusement-centric opinion, and if he is entirely driven by a desire to see more fun and drama, then why hasn't he considered joining the committee to force these changes through? Why does our father of the forums refuse to commit himself to the betterment of Torn, instead of leaving us all to wallow in our filth like a neglected baby?
"No, not my scene. Way too serious."
However, soon I began to notice that among the few level-headed people out there, one in particular often had the right take on almost every topic: Sweeney Todd. Every one of his comments was 100k retweet worthy; whether it was a line on the federal jailing of an errant faction leader or his musings on a forthcoming update, Sweeney seemed to have this knack of being able to cut straight to the point and offer an impartial view on the major happenings in Torn City.
(Honestly, I reckon he could sort this business out in an afternoon)
And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Anyone familiar with the forums knows that Sweeney, an ex-staff member, is extremely well-liked among the people. I've seen him walk down the street wearing nothing but an old sack, only for men and women to throw themselves at his feet and burst out crying. Even one man he used to call his enemy, Lonestar, has good things to say about his former adversary.
"Sweeney was a pain in the ass but not one I would call an enemy - more of a frenemy. Good lad and we do get on...mostly lol."
Universal admiration for a member of staff is a rare thing indeed. There has been a depressing trend in recent years where a lack of respect for staff is something to show off as a badge of honour. Many hard-working moderators and officers are derided en-masse by people they don't know for crimes they haven't committed. And yet Sweeney seems to have evaded this baseless criticism. Why? How? Whaaa?
"As an old fella of 46, I tend to have a level head, although I can be a right pain if the mood takes me. I treat people equally and tend to tell people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear. Always been against scammers and cheats and I guess that has reflected on how a lot of players see me. Some also see me as a sarcastic git, which is also true."
Sweeney wasn't always the golden boy of the forums, though. At one point he was the scourge of the staff whose ranks he would later join. And eventually, rather than attempting to reign in the young scallywag, those in charge decided to befriend him and put his talents to good use. In that way, he's a bit like a member of the A-Team, or the Suicide Squad, depending on your frame of reference. For argument's sake, let's just say that Sweeney_Todd is a mixture of BA Baracus and Harley Quinn.
(Pictured: An image nobody needs to see, but everyone wants to)
"A long time ago, I was a bit of a devil in the forums. Never broke the rules, but did push them, especially to get under the skin of an idiot spouting off. Problem with written rules is that anyone with half a brain can worm around them with ease. A couple of staff messaged me asking me to join staff, as they thought it would be easier to have me on their side."
I always tried to play fair as staff, and would quite happily discuss issues with players. I was most famous for forum modding, which I enjoyed, although sometimes it could take hours of your day. I tend not to get involved with in game politics, especially faction disputes. When I was staff I would always listen to players who felt I had locked a thread in error, and I would change my decision if they changed my mind."
Sweeney's performance as a staff member has not gone unnoticed by the people - there are frequent calls for his reinstatement still today. Sadly, Sweeney says those days are long gone, citing the exit of a fellow favourite and the changes to forums as the motivating factors behind his decision to abandon us all like our fathers already have.
"In the end, when Clansy left, I could see the changes Ched had in mind for the forums and I thought it would take the fun element out for me, hence why I finally quit."
As someone whose Torn life is centered on the forums, Sweeney is well-placed to offer critique of the current system. Despite the fact that forum participation has increased massively thanks to recent change, Sweeney believes that a lax attitude towards moderation has led to spam and karma whoring which offer nothing to the community.
"Karma caused the instinctive behaviour of getting bigger numbers, something that has always been a core of the game's mindset. I've seen it on other forums and it is always abused one way or the other. Threads like that would have been sent to the graveyard and warnings and bans would have been issued months ago. Probably by me."
(Exhibit A)
Various suggestions have been made to alleviate this problem, with the simplest being the reinstatement of the old rules. However, with Torn's authorities keen to retain the increased number of posters we've seen since restrictions were eased, this option hasn't been seriously considered. Other ideas like negative karma, karma bans or nude public shaming are rejected outright by Sweeney too, due to the obvious opportunity for abuse.
"Only problem is putting restrictions on negative karma is that players could be targeted, through no fault of their own, and given negative karma, restricting their posting abilities... make spam against the rules again - warning, followed by ban."
If it wasn't already apparent, the forums are the main draw in Torn City for Sweeney. He isn't bothered about money, he has no interest in building stats, and he cares not for faction wars unless it's for a bit of fun. What he loves is following the latest drama, tracking where and how it beings to unfold. And if anything gets in the way of that, be it a troll, spammer or rule change, then this may be the only thing Sweeney can make himself take seriously.
"The forums have always been the most fun for me. Money doesn't really mean much to me, nor do stats and supposed power. The forums have changed, somewhat for the worse at current, due to the lack of staff powers in shutting down trolls. But it is up to players to make the changes they want now."
"Trying to steer players is like trying to hold back the sea. They will flow where they wish, but you can hope that a little more self-policing and a little more friendliness would go a long way."
The desire to see Torn's forums return to their former glory is just one of the things that have kept Sweeney here for over twelve years, in which time he could have raised a twelve-year-old boy, watched several guinea pigs be born and die, or used up twelve calendars. Having arrived on Thursday, March 17th, 2005, he describes his early persona as a stubborn bugger who, if he were to meet him today, he'd mess about with and add to his friends list as someone to watch.
It's hard to imagine many players sticking around for this long with nothing but message boards to occupy them. But that is to ignore what keeps Sweeney here; because by his own admission, he sees Torn as less of a game and more of a social media platform.
"Torn is kind of an addiction, pure and simple. There is always that 'I'll just log in to see what's going on' factor for me, so more of a social hub, especially as I don't do facebook, twitter, etc."
"Torn attracts geeks and nerds, and I mean that in a good way. People who want to talk more about what the latest celeb is up too or pictures of what they are eating... I do not think the players of Torn are celebrity type people who rely on Heat magazine as their prime source of news."
Another thing which keeps Sweeney going is his ability to amuse himself. One of the ways he achieves this is through the deliberately lacklustre efforts of his faction, The Old Pie Shop, which is sometimes known as the Black Pearl. These days Sweeney is the sole member of this faction, but when others were involved this group was his pride and joy.
"We gained a lot of respect from other factions as we didn't take it that seriously and would often war the big factions like JFK with nothing but frying pans, just for giggles."
With his faction seemingly now inactive, Sweeney has decided to focus his efforts on irritating someone who will be all too familiar to those who peruse the forums. Sweeney's target, who he refuses to describe as a nemesis, is known for posting reams of forgetable content in a vain bid to acquire some sort of status within the Torn City community.
I am of course talking about Marlonbrando.
"Currently, I am having fun having a one man war against Marlon, as it is always fun to smack him around a bit. He takes the game seriously at times. I wouldn't say I war him in the forums, but I do like to insert a little truth and reality into his threads, although to be honest, it's like headbutting a wall."
"He is a very focused young man. I wouldn't describe him as my nemesis, although I'm sure he'd like the title. But yes he does encourage other shitposters, most of whom can now be found in his faction, hence my current shits and giggles."
Sweeney plans to keep warring with Marlonbrando until he gets bored. To ensure that he doesn't lose interest, this reporter has made an application to join The Pie Shop in a bid to diversify its approach and help the fightback against those who would spam our fair city's forums. Hopefully, Marlonbrando will see this act as the silly piece of fun which it is - although I expect a poll will be in the works the minute he reads this article.
Sweeney believes that too many people take Torn life far too seriously, taking offence when their cosy little world is subjected to change or disruption. This is something we've all seen in action ourselves. The slightest alteration to a company mechanic, the most minute little tweak to a certain item, one little bit of the game that doesn't go their way; people lose their minds and seem to develop a special kind of crazy when the world of Torn doesn't quite act how they think it should do.
"Some players put it onto their CVs, I am sure. Mainly players whine in the forums to get attention as they perceive their game style to be the only one worth playing and anyone or anything that changes this is unfair or plain stupid. Worst part of human nature, fearing change."
"Having fun is my only goal not just in Torn, but real life. Yes, I have to do a job that doesn't make me leap out of bed each day and thank the stars, but it does pay the bills and keeps wine in the fridge. Money, stats and power are all just fleeting moments, where as shits and giggles last for ages."
Sweeney seems to have more fun thanks to his attitude towards Torn, and this is something which extends to his life in general too. The reason he can be so fair on each and every issue is the same reason he enjoys Torn: He simply does not care.
"A couple of years ago I was suffering from stress and depression, mainly from work and other factors. I read a book called "f**k it", and it changed my life overnight. Teaches you to live for the now. Yesterday you can't change, and tomorrow hasn't happened, so f**k it and enjoy today."
"I think even before my troubles, people thought of me as a fair staff member. I treated everyone the same, from newb to level 100. Also I told people what they needed to hear rather than what they wanted to hear. Plus I make people laugh, and laughter is a great human trait that brings all people together."
When I asked Sweeney if he had any suggestions for changes to Torn his sense of fun permeated all of them. He wanted to bring back cut throat razors just because he misses them. He believes small factions should be able to annoy their larger rivals by tagging their territory, sacking their clubhouse and spreading propaganda. Sweeney also thinks that children under the age of three should be allowed to have accounts. That last one is a lie, but Sweeney probably believes it. Regarding Mr Todd's genuine suggestions, he says that such things would bring more of a challenge to the system of warring, and it is hard to disagree.
So then, if Sweeney_Todd is such a good mediator, if he is fair-minded enough to offer up an informed, amusement-centric opinion, and if he is entirely driven by a desire to see more fun and drama, then why hasn't he considered joining the committee to force these changes through? Why does our father of the forums refuse to commit himself to the betterment of Torn, instead of leaving us all to wallow in our filth like a neglected baby?
"No, not my scene. Way too serious."
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