sugarvalves [1963573] —
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Dog Tags 2017 is now underway! As of 17:00 on Sunday 5th of November, everyone in Torn is a marked man or woman. And with all of Torn's other annual competitions having run smoothly without incident, this year's Dog Tag event should prove to be nothing short of a resounding, orgasmic success!
For those of you who are unaware, the Dog Tags event involves the collection of tags from your downed opponents, as opposed to the usual routine of mugging, mocking or molesting them. Attacking others gives you a chance of stealing either their own tag, should they still possess it, or a random tag from those which your victim has swiped from others.
Each tag is inscribed with the original owner's name and is worth a certain amount of points depending on both their level and the number of people who have possessed it. Awards are handed out for anyone who collects 50 and 250 tags during the competition, and more tokens will be given to those with a higher number of tags upon the end of proceedings at 17:00 on November 25th.
Pictured: My tag, stolen yesterday
Further information on Dog Tags can be found in my report from last year's event. There are no changes to the format or rules from 2016's competition, which was won by Farm Manager Kniv for the second year in a row. You can read about Kniv's incessant lust for victory here, but anyone who aspires to win the competition may also be interested in having a gander at this expert guide compiled midway through the 2016 event.
It remains to be seen if Chedburn's tag will be made available as it was last year, and the role of NPC's in the current competition has also yet to be discerned. In 2016, an on-going feud between Bodybagger and Duke culminated in the latter attempting to ruin BB's chances in the event. As always, Duke's efforts failed, but the loan shark did eventually give out all his acquired tags towards the end of the competition in a bid to shake things up.
Whether he'll repeat this behaviour this year we do not yet know, and nor are we at the TCT aware of any potential involvement by Leslie or Amanda. What we do have are some early scores for you, with the current standings accurate as of 9:30am TCT.
1st, (REDACTED), 9,651 points, 101 tags
2nd, (REDACTED), 6,652 points, 190 tags
3rd, Duke, 5,558 points, 28 tags
4th, (REDACTED), 4,061 points, 83 tags
5th, (REDACTED), 3,662 points, 59 tags
6th, (REDACTED), 3,068 points, 81 tags
7th, (REDACTED), 2,887 points, 102 tags
8th, (REDACTED), 2,850 points, 73 tags
9th, (REDACTED), 2,638 points, 52 tags
10th, (REDACTED), 2,614 points, 57 tags
I am not at liberty to name any of those in the top ten aside from Duke, but I can tell you that there are some familiar faces among the leaders. The lowest level present in the top ten is a level 70, and three 100 level beasts are lurking in there too. If any players would be happy for me to expose their positions in the rankings for Dog Tags 2017, please let me know, and I will unredact you as fast as my little fingers can go.
ELSEWHERE IN THE NEWS
Costume Controversy Dead and Buried
The combination of sweet and savoury foods is becoming increasingly popular among those with a refined palate; apple and cheese, fries and a frosty shake, pork gravy and lollipops. However, for some people, this year's Halloween candy just wasn't savoury enough, leading them to apply copious amounts of salt to their treats until their sweet taste was but a memory.
I am, as usual, referring to more unnecessary forum drama.
A total of twelve Halloween themed competitions were run this year, including Best Dressed Pet, Best Torn Meme and Guess the Number of Candy. All but three of these competitions were judged by The Duke, with prizes handed out to those who demonstrated the most skill, creativity or humour. In many cases, all of these criteria remained unfulfilled at the competition's end, with rankings being handed out almost arbitrarily according to whose names The Duke could remember.
For the most part, Duke's decisions proved popular, and in the case of the Duke's Sexy Costume event his choices of Mauk, Destroys and Tomdickharry for 1st, 2nd and 3rd had garnered a significant amount of karma already. Unfortunately, there was a problem. The winning entry by Mauk used an image of this year's 2nd place Ms Torn candidate, for which permission had not been sought from the woman in question.
Moderators should have removed the image, but this action was not taken. Duke's decision was therefore reversed after the fact; Mauk was disqualified, with Devil_DLUX taking third and the other two podium placers bumped up a spot. This decision did not go down well with Mauk, who started a now graved thread to discuss the issue and its apparent unfairness. Various concerns were raised by all parties, including whether the image was considered fair use, if it was an illegal breach of the subject's rights, and if the other entries may fall foul of the rules if the same criteria were applied.
Furthermore, accusations of sexism were made regarding the image itself. Because competition organiser Grif requested that entrants make Duke "absolutely Whore-ifying", this supposedly meant that Mauk's use of the picture insinuated that he felt the girl in question fulfilled this criterion. If this logic is to be applied to the rest of the photos submitted, the following characters must now be considered whores:
Big Bird
Donald Trump
Some kind of pickle in a bikini
The corpse of Hugh Hefner
All cops
A dog
The poo emoji
Tony Montana
Pennywise
Duke Nukem
Despite the absence of obvious sexism thus far, known simpleton Snooch made up for this by chipping in idiotic comments to help steer the thread in Torn's favoured direction: the gutter. Where we could have had a meaningful conversation on common courtesy and a clarification of player rights, we were instead treated to discourse littered with harassment and misogyny. A few people even complained that the new 3rd place wasn't strictly within the rules either, with some going so far as to quote legal texts they were distinctly unqualified to be referencing.
Let me remind you that this was with regards to a competition to give Duke a sexy Halloween makeover, in return for three imaginary ribbons.
When a forum post goes on too long, it is inevitable that everyone involved ends up wrong in some way or another. In this case, discussions were thankfully halted by moderator Philistine before this turned into a twenty-page thread of irrational nonsense. I would like to personally thank Philistine for making Torn a better place with his actions, and I would call upon the authorities to consider giving staff the power to end any forum thread when it can be seen to be actively making citizens stupider through its very existence.
In the spirit of good faith, I have been told that The Duke considered whether or not to hand Mauk a consolation prize, due to the poor way in which the competition's result was handled. However, because of his whining, The Duke has informed the Torn City Times that this will no longer be the case, and the likes of Four and Snooch can expect their own special prizes to be delivered forthwith.
Let this be a lesson to you all. If you disagree with the decisions made regarding a Torn City Contest, shut your gob. If you do, you might just win a consolation prize. If you don't, you'll definitely lose your dignity.
JFA Plans Caymans Repeat
At midnight on Sunday, 29th September, members of JFA and JFA 2.0 invaded and subsequently occupied the Cayman Islands, with over 1,000 hits made by 125 participants by the time the event ended around 24 hours later. This act of aggression slash vacation marked the second foreign expedition in three months by JFA, whose terrorising of Ciudad Juarez took place back in August of this year. I asked JFA's leader Stretch what his faction's motivation was for this invasion, and he replied with the following words from his human brain:
"This was similar to our Mexico event, just trying to create some faction interaction. With the game being as quiet as it has been with the anticipation for warring 2.0, JFA has attempted to keep our players involved by contests/events etc. Gotta keep the fun in the game or the players will find other things to do. Cayman was just a 1 day event, was some fun, gave away some prizes to members etc."
Entrants to the competition were encouraged to wear either a wetsuit or speedos / bikini, and this alone would have been enough to put most people off from travelling to the Caymans. But since the islands' banks offer excellent levels of interest on deposits, some of those hit by JFA were likely carrying a significant amount of money, causing many to delay their travel plans until such time as shenanigans had subsided.
In the likely event that an invasion happens again, citizens would be well advised to avoid whichever location Stretch and his colleagues choose to occupy. But the JFA leader insists this would be a mistake, as his faction reportedly plans to offer entertainment to their victims when the next event takes place.
"Having done a couple of these type events now, I think if/when we would do something like this again, we may work on making it more fun for those that happen to get caught in the web, creating activities in the location's travel channel."
Is this sentiment genuine, or merely a way of tempting fools into JFA's next trap? We shall see.
N.B. Many citizens have asked me if I will be reporting on certain accusations made against Stretch regarding his conduct as an Officer. This will not be happening since the investigative process does not require my sassy, opinionated viewpoints in order to determine his innocence or guilt.
N.B.B. Based on Mauk's assumption that all images uploaded to Torn are free to use, I have decided I shall take the same liberties with those offered up to the Best Pet competition. I intend on making each entry erotic in some way, shape or form over the coming months. Do not ask me to stop. Your pleas shall fall on deaf ears.
For those of you who are unaware, the Dog Tags event involves the collection of tags from your downed opponents, as opposed to the usual routine of mugging, mocking or molesting them. Attacking others gives you a chance of stealing either their own tag, should they still possess it, or a random tag from those which your victim has swiped from others.
Each tag is inscribed with the original owner's name and is worth a certain amount of points depending on both their level and the number of people who have possessed it. Awards are handed out for anyone who collects 50 and 250 tags during the competition, and more tokens will be given to those with a higher number of tags upon the end of proceedings at 17:00 on November 25th.
Pictured: My tag, stolen yesterday
Further information on Dog Tags can be found in my report from last year's event. There are no changes to the format or rules from 2016's competition, which was won by Farm Manager Kniv for the second year in a row. You can read about Kniv's incessant lust for victory here, but anyone who aspires to win the competition may also be interested in having a gander at this expert guide compiled midway through the 2016 event.
It remains to be seen if Chedburn's tag will be made available as it was last year, and the role of NPC's in the current competition has also yet to be discerned. In 2016, an on-going feud between Bodybagger and Duke culminated in the latter attempting to ruin BB's chances in the event. As always, Duke's efforts failed, but the loan shark did eventually give out all his acquired tags towards the end of the competition in a bid to shake things up.
Whether he'll repeat this behaviour this year we do not yet know, and nor are we at the TCT aware of any potential involvement by Leslie or Amanda. What we do have are some early scores for you, with the current standings accurate as of 9:30am TCT.
1st, (REDACTED), 9,651 points, 101 tags
2nd, (REDACTED), 6,652 points, 190 tags
3rd, Duke, 5,558 points, 28 tags
4th, (REDACTED), 4,061 points, 83 tags
5th, (REDACTED), 3,662 points, 59 tags
6th, (REDACTED), 3,068 points, 81 tags
7th, (REDACTED), 2,887 points, 102 tags
8th, (REDACTED), 2,850 points, 73 tags
9th, (REDACTED), 2,638 points, 52 tags
10th, (REDACTED), 2,614 points, 57 tags
I am not at liberty to name any of those in the top ten aside from Duke, but I can tell you that there are some familiar faces among the leaders. The lowest level present in the top ten is a level 70, and three 100 level beasts are lurking in there too. If any players would be happy for me to expose their positions in the rankings for Dog Tags 2017, please let me know, and I will unredact you as fast as my little fingers can go.
ELSEWHERE IN THE NEWS
Costume Controversy Dead and Buried
The combination of sweet and savoury foods is becoming increasingly popular among those with a refined palate; apple and cheese, fries and a frosty shake, pork gravy and lollipops. However, for some people, this year's Halloween candy just wasn't savoury enough, leading them to apply copious amounts of salt to their treats until their sweet taste was but a memory.
I am, as usual, referring to more unnecessary forum drama.
A total of twelve Halloween themed competitions were run this year, including Best Dressed Pet, Best Torn Meme and Guess the Number of Candy. All but three of these competitions were judged by The Duke, with prizes handed out to those who demonstrated the most skill, creativity or humour. In many cases, all of these criteria remained unfulfilled at the competition's end, with rankings being handed out almost arbitrarily according to whose names The Duke could remember.
For the most part, Duke's decisions proved popular, and in the case of the Duke's Sexy Costume event his choices of Mauk, Destroys and Tomdickharry for 1st, 2nd and 3rd had garnered a significant amount of karma already. Unfortunately, there was a problem. The winning entry by Mauk used an image of this year's 2nd place Ms Torn candidate, for which permission had not been sought from the woman in question.
Moderators should have removed the image, but this action was not taken. Duke's decision was therefore reversed after the fact; Mauk was disqualified, with Devil_DLUX taking third and the other two podium placers bumped up a spot. This decision did not go down well with Mauk, who started a now graved thread to discuss the issue and its apparent unfairness. Various concerns were raised by all parties, including whether the image was considered fair use, if it was an illegal breach of the subject's rights, and if the other entries may fall foul of the rules if the same criteria were applied.
Furthermore, accusations of sexism were made regarding the image itself. Because competition organiser Grif requested that entrants make Duke "absolutely Whore-ifying", this supposedly meant that Mauk's use of the picture insinuated that he felt the girl in question fulfilled this criterion. If this logic is to be applied to the rest of the photos submitted, the following characters must now be considered whores:
Big Bird
Donald Trump
Some kind of pickle in a bikini
The corpse of Hugh Hefner
All cops
A dog
The poo emoji
Tony Montana
Pennywise
Duke Nukem
Despite the absence of obvious sexism thus far, known simpleton Snooch made up for this by chipping in idiotic comments to help steer the thread in Torn's favoured direction: the gutter. Where we could have had a meaningful conversation on common courtesy and a clarification of player rights, we were instead treated to discourse littered with harassment and misogyny. A few people even complained that the new 3rd place wasn't strictly within the rules either, with some going so far as to quote legal texts they were distinctly unqualified to be referencing.
Let me remind you that this was with regards to a competition to give Duke a sexy Halloween makeover, in return for three imaginary ribbons.
When a forum post goes on too long, it is inevitable that everyone involved ends up wrong in some way or another. In this case, discussions were thankfully halted by moderator Philistine before this turned into a twenty-page thread of irrational nonsense. I would like to personally thank Philistine for making Torn a better place with his actions, and I would call upon the authorities to consider giving staff the power to end any forum thread when it can be seen to be actively making citizens stupider through its very existence.
In the spirit of good faith, I have been told that The Duke considered whether or not to hand Mauk a consolation prize, due to the poor way in which the competition's result was handled. However, because of his whining, The Duke has informed the Torn City Times that this will no longer be the case, and the likes of Four and Snooch can expect their own special prizes to be delivered forthwith.
Let this be a lesson to you all. If you disagree with the decisions made regarding a Torn City Contest, shut your gob. If you do, you might just win a consolation prize. If you don't, you'll definitely lose your dignity.
JFA Plans Caymans Repeat
At midnight on Sunday, 29th September, members of JFA and JFA 2.0 invaded and subsequently occupied the Cayman Islands, with over 1,000 hits made by 125 participants by the time the event ended around 24 hours later. This act of aggression slash vacation marked the second foreign expedition in three months by JFA, whose terrorising of Ciudad Juarez took place back in August of this year. I asked JFA's leader Stretch what his faction's motivation was for this invasion, and he replied with the following words from his human brain:
"This was similar to our Mexico event, just trying to create some faction interaction. With the game being as quiet as it has been with the anticipation for warring 2.0, JFA has attempted to keep our players involved by contests/events etc. Gotta keep the fun in the game or the players will find other things to do. Cayman was just a 1 day event, was some fun, gave away some prizes to members etc."
Entrants to the competition were encouraged to wear either a wetsuit or speedos / bikini, and this alone would have been enough to put most people off from travelling to the Caymans. But since the islands' banks offer excellent levels of interest on deposits, some of those hit by JFA were likely carrying a significant amount of money, causing many to delay their travel plans until such time as shenanigans had subsided.
In the likely event that an invasion happens again, citizens would be well advised to avoid whichever location Stretch and his colleagues choose to occupy. But the JFA leader insists this would be a mistake, as his faction reportedly plans to offer entertainment to their victims when the next event takes place.
"Having done a couple of these type events now, I think if/when we would do something like this again, we may work on making it more fun for those that happen to get caught in the web, creating activities in the location's travel channel."
Is this sentiment genuine, or merely a way of tempting fools into JFA's next trap? We shall see.
N.B. Many citizens have asked me if I will be reporting on certain accusations made against Stretch regarding his conduct as an Officer. This will not be happening since the investigative process does not require my sassy, opinionated viewpoints in order to determine his innocence or guilt.
N.B.B. Based on Mauk's assumption that all images uploaded to Torn are free to use, I have decided I shall take the same liberties with those offered up to the Best Pet competition. I intend on making each entry erotic in some way, shape or form over the coming months. Do not ask me to stop. Your pleas shall fall on deaf ears.
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