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BackAlleyBob's Professional Racing Championships return for their winter edition on December 3rd, with the winner of the main Class A event in line to receive a Bugatti Veyron and $650million in prize money.
The PRC's 2017 summer edition was won by Stormcast, and there has been a debate in the racing forums over whether he and future champions should be allowed to use their Veyron in the competition. Should the car prove to be vastly overpowered compared to rival models, Stormcast may end up reaching the automobile equivalent of the singularity, winning race after race, championship after championship, until such point as his exponentially increased speed causes him to transcend the known laws of physics and exist at every point of the universe simultaneously.
This would make it very hard to determine the winner of a race.
A vote conducted by BackAlleyBob shows the community stands 77.53% in favour of allowing the Veyron to be used in competition, with proponents citing the fact that Stormcast won the car fairly as their main argument. Others have also noted that the Bugatti Veyron is notoriously poor on certain tracks, while also admitting that the amount of luck needed to win the PRC means Stormcast will only have a slight advantage from its use.
Should Stormcast employ the Veyron and subsequently storm to victory by a sickening margin, the authorities plan to reduce his effectiveness next year by kidnapping his wife and child during the run-up to the competition.
With regards to the event itself, the official rules and details can be found here. For anyone too lazy to click, here is a brief summary. All drivers who enter the main stage of the competition must be sponsored by a company, with each firm allowed to back a maximum of three entrants to the PRC. Sponsors receive 75% of the 1st place payout, but this does not include the Veyron, as to split the vehicle into quarters would be to forget the lessons learned from the Judgement of Solomon, thus rendering the Veyron entirely inoperable.
The 2nd and 3rd place drivers will split their prize money 50/50 with their sponsors, which equates to $100million and $75million respectively. Entrance fees are $10million per driver to be paid to BackAlleyBob whenever he is online, but these monies are only payable once a driver has progressed to the championships via the open qualifiers. Any old idiot with a Class A car can enter the qualifiers, which run from the 4th to the 8th of December with races starting at 06:00 and 18:00 TCT.
With the field whittled down to the 48 mostest fastest racers, the heats will take place from 10th to the 16th, culminating in the grand finalé at 18:00 on Sunday 18th of December.
If winning isn't your thing, those who identify as mediocre may instead wish to take part in the free-to-enter All Class Smash which opens the PRC on Sunday December 3rd. This event sees racers compete to see who can finish precisely in the middle of the pack, with the "winner" taking home a cash prize of $10million, and all entrants promised free beer and prizes just for turning up.
With an offer like that, you'd have to be severely brain damaged to refuse - a fate our brave racers will hopefully avoid during the forthcoming competition.
Dog Tags Latest Update
We are now nine days into the 2017 Dog Tag competition, with 186,730 tags having been stolen by 17,128 active users so far. 951 of these tags have been returned to their original owner by a few kind souls, with Torn's favourite and least favourite loan shark contributing greatly to this tally.
In a brazen attempt to improve his reputation and curry favour with the unwashed masses, Duke gave up his haul of stolen tags last week, losing his own tag to Bodybagger within 24 hours as a result. The acquisition of this 500 point trophy tag has surely given BB's chances of victory a huge boost, but it remains to be seen whether it will be enough to clinch the title come the competition's close.
The dog tag standings have changed markedly from last week, with 1st dropping to 2nd, 2nd moving to 1st, and 3rd placed Duke dropping out entirely to be replaced by last week's 4th placed competitor. The player in 5th remains the same, with last week's 6th and 9th swapping places, 7th and 8th both out of the top ten and 10th moving to 7th.
Our current 2nd placed participant has pledged to reveal himself later this week via an article in the Torn City Times. Until then, here are the current anonymous scores as of 2:12pm today.
1st, 20,320 points, 758 tags
2nd, 15,274 points, 370 tags
3rd, 13,771 points, 399 tags
4th, 9,507 points, 238 tags
5th, 8,088 points, 283 tags
6th, 7,906 points, 241 tags
7th, 7,667 points, 276 tags
8th, 6,357 points, 236 tags
9th, 6,129 points, 268 tags
10th, 6,073 points, 280 tags
Merry Trashmas
The TCT can exclusively confirm that Duke's Dump Giveaway will return for a second year on the 14th of December, with high-value items set to be tossed into the trash by the rotund mafioso each day up to and including Christmas Day.
Last year, Torn citizens were treated to boosters, drug packs and beer kegs amongst other things, including two one-off items; a yellow snowman and a Donald Trump mask. This year's giveaway will also include two unique items designed especially for the event, with their makeup and purpose kept secret until such time as they are disposed of among the soiled undergarments and magnetised hard drives of the dump.
Sadly, plans to create an erotic advent calendar featuring the entrants of Mr and Ms Torn have had to be abandoned due to the recent furore surrounding the Halloween competitions. This cancellation has proven costly for the Torn authorities, who had already spent upwards of $45,000 on a nude caricature of Kamical.
The PRC's 2017 summer edition was won by Stormcast, and there has been a debate in the racing forums over whether he and future champions should be allowed to use their Veyron in the competition. Should the car prove to be vastly overpowered compared to rival models, Stormcast may end up reaching the automobile equivalent of the singularity, winning race after race, championship after championship, until such point as his exponentially increased speed causes him to transcend the known laws of physics and exist at every point of the universe simultaneously.
This would make it very hard to determine the winner of a race.
A vote conducted by BackAlleyBob shows the community stands 77.53% in favour of allowing the Veyron to be used in competition, with proponents citing the fact that Stormcast won the car fairly as their main argument. Others have also noted that the Bugatti Veyron is notoriously poor on certain tracks, while also admitting that the amount of luck needed to win the PRC means Stormcast will only have a slight advantage from its use.
Should Stormcast employ the Veyron and subsequently storm to victory by a sickening margin, the authorities plan to reduce his effectiveness next year by kidnapping his wife and child during the run-up to the competition.
With regards to the event itself, the official rules and details can be found here. For anyone too lazy to click, here is a brief summary. All drivers who enter the main stage of the competition must be sponsored by a company, with each firm allowed to back a maximum of three entrants to the PRC. Sponsors receive 75% of the 1st place payout, but this does not include the Veyron, as to split the vehicle into quarters would be to forget the lessons learned from the Judgement of Solomon, thus rendering the Veyron entirely inoperable.
The 2nd and 3rd place drivers will split their prize money 50/50 with their sponsors, which equates to $100million and $75million respectively. Entrance fees are $10million per driver to be paid to BackAlleyBob whenever he is online, but these monies are only payable once a driver has progressed to the championships via the open qualifiers. Any old idiot with a Class A car can enter the qualifiers, which run from the 4th to the 8th of December with races starting at 06:00 and 18:00 TCT.
With the field whittled down to the 48 mostest fastest racers, the heats will take place from 10th to the 16th, culminating in the grand finalé at 18:00 on Sunday 18th of December.
If winning isn't your thing, those who identify as mediocre may instead wish to take part in the free-to-enter All Class Smash which opens the PRC on Sunday December 3rd. This event sees racers compete to see who can finish precisely in the middle of the pack, with the "winner" taking home a cash prize of $10million, and all entrants promised free beer and prizes just for turning up.
With an offer like that, you'd have to be severely brain damaged to refuse - a fate our brave racers will hopefully avoid during the forthcoming competition.
Dog Tags Latest Update
We are now nine days into the 2017 Dog Tag competition, with 186,730 tags having been stolen by 17,128 active users so far. 951 of these tags have been returned to their original owner by a few kind souls, with Torn's favourite and least favourite loan shark contributing greatly to this tally.
In a brazen attempt to improve his reputation and curry favour with the unwashed masses, Duke gave up his haul of stolen tags last week, losing his own tag to Bodybagger within 24 hours as a result. The acquisition of this 500 point trophy tag has surely given BB's chances of victory a huge boost, but it remains to be seen whether it will be enough to clinch the title come the competition's close.
The dog tag standings have changed markedly from last week, with 1st dropping to 2nd, 2nd moving to 1st, and 3rd placed Duke dropping out entirely to be replaced by last week's 4th placed competitor. The player in 5th remains the same, with last week's 6th and 9th swapping places, 7th and 8th both out of the top ten and 10th moving to 7th.
Our current 2nd placed participant has pledged to reveal himself later this week via an article in the Torn City Times. Until then, here are the current anonymous scores as of 2:12pm today.
1st, 20,320 points, 758 tags
2nd, 15,274 points, 370 tags
3rd, 13,771 points, 399 tags
4th, 9,507 points, 238 tags
5th, 8,088 points, 283 tags
6th, 7,906 points, 241 tags
7th, 7,667 points, 276 tags
8th, 6,357 points, 236 tags
9th, 6,129 points, 268 tags
10th, 6,073 points, 280 tags
Merry Trashmas
The TCT can exclusively confirm that Duke's Dump Giveaway will return for a second year on the 14th of December, with high-value items set to be tossed into the trash by the rotund mafioso each day up to and including Christmas Day.
Last year, Torn citizens were treated to boosters, drug packs and beer kegs amongst other things, including two one-off items; a yellow snowman and a Donald Trump mask. This year's giveaway will also include two unique items designed especially for the event, with their makeup and purpose kept secret until such time as they are disposed of among the soiled undergarments and magnetised hard drives of the dump.
Sadly, plans to create an erotic advent calendar featuring the entrants of Mr and Ms Torn have had to be abandoned due to the recent furore surrounding the Halloween competitions. This cancellation has proven costly for the Torn authorities, who had already spent upwards of $45,000 on a nude caricature of Kamical.
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