Kapten_Klitoris [1873683] —
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The recent catfight between Subversive Alliance and Milk and Cookies could have ended up as the fight of the year. The battle to end all battles. The most explosive encounter since the Atom bomb vs the people of Hiroshima. Instead, from an outside perspective, a war which promised much turned out to be as boring as hell.
Let's start with some context. An MnC subfaction, Mentos and Cola has been bullied by SA for a few months now, with hits coming every time SA chained. This came about due to the old rules about respect gains, which stated that you must start a territorial war to maximize your gains.
TCT Reporter Nova told Midknight to rally his crew behind the bike racks and be prepared to fight. They accepted the challenge and our collective anticipation hung in the air like a queef in a lift. But to be honest, the battles which followed were a pile of hot garbage. No real fighting occurred, with both factions content to paw at the others whenever their chain was in a cooldown. MnC pushed SA back while they waited for perks to be reset for warring, and when they changed it to warring they called truce. Boring.
Sure, I can understand that most factions tend to have a basic set of upgrades, which they reset to make use of life and passive stat bonuses - both factions adopted this tactic - however, Subversive Alliance were passive for three days waiting for the upgrades to reset. Three days. Ample time for a surprise attack, no?
The result of this bland encounter was a treaty which looked like this.

SA, bending the knee towards their overlord, MnC.
The warmongers amongst us expected a lot more from this so-called clash of the titans. If only there was an option to demote these to factions, maybe make them another pair of JFK subs by force as punishment for disappointing us all. Although not everyone was disappointed. In fact, as you can see from the following quotes, most players had no idea this battle had even taken place.
MimeFaceKiller: "They what? Don't really know anything about it."
TheoZ: "The what? :O All I know about them is that Dekloren left because of that. I am not into politics and shit, too much drama. I heard he left because they made a deal/peace or whatever with them.."
easye: "They had a war? who won? Lol ok i remember Nova mentioning this, all of these hof factions think its ok to hit anyone but get salty when they get hit back."
Trumpy: "I like chicken nuggets."
So with war proving a damp squib, perhaps we should be looking to competitive warring to satisfy our appetites for destruction. Some notable players are preparing for CA by constructing or purchasing dirty bombs in anticipation of the day they can be unleashed. Meanwhile, some people are trading their weapons of mass destruction, as was the case with one anonymous seller who received a price so high he or she was able to purchase 88 individual boxing gloves - roughly equivalent to 44 pairs.

"It's the eye of the tiger, it's the dream of the fight"
The seller of this dirty bomb remains unknown, but the TCT has identified SaliD as the buyer. There are rumours that the seller may have been an old friend of SaliD's who sold him a pair of diving gloves back in December. Further whispers claim that this is the second bomb within SaliD's possession, making him highly unstable in the eyes of this reporter. I wouldn't want to poke him around with a stick a Saturday night when he is drunk and angry craving for pizza rolls.
mOsSieFieD is another player looking to join the Dirty Bomb club, as he has recently collected 100 cesiums and will shortly experience the feeling of holding a destructive weapon in his notoriously tiny hands.

Citizens might need to dust off their hazmat suits.
So with all these lunatics running around with nuclear weapons, we must ask ourselves if we really want terror to flow around Torn City. Perhaps it is a good thing that the war between SA and MnC was as interesting as a hot air sandwich, because the alternative could be death and destruction for all.
If we do want war, it might be necessary to fling poo in public to kick off some drama between factions. These two giants should be able to do it on their own without nuclear weapons on their hands. But the citizens of Torn shouldn't keep patting them on their backs telling them what good sports they are after this orchestrated demonstration of total warfailure.
Perhaps it is up to other factions to take up the mantle. Maybe a young upstart clan will be on the rise shortly after dirty bombs and competitive warring are enabled. And maybe one of the biggest contenders will be whichever faction manages to achieve the first 25k chain. Some have speculated that this record chain will be attempted this very weekend, and if so, will said faction reset their upgrades for warring? Will there be another fight behind the bike racks? And will it be as forgettable as the last big scrap?
I damn well hope not.
Let's start with some context. An MnC subfaction, Mentos and Cola has been bullied by SA for a few months now, with hits coming every time SA chained. This came about due to the old rules about respect gains, which stated that you must start a territorial war to maximize your gains.
TCT Reporter Nova told Midknight to rally his crew behind the bike racks and be prepared to fight. They accepted the challenge and our collective anticipation hung in the air like a queef in a lift. But to be honest, the battles which followed were a pile of hot garbage. No real fighting occurred, with both factions content to paw at the others whenever their chain was in a cooldown. MnC pushed SA back while they waited for perks to be reset for warring, and when they changed it to warring they called truce. Boring.
Sure, I can understand that most factions tend to have a basic set of upgrades, which they reset to make use of life and passive stat bonuses - both factions adopted this tactic - however, Subversive Alliance were passive for three days waiting for the upgrades to reset. Three days. Ample time for a surprise attack, no?
The result of this bland encounter was a treaty which looked like this.
SA, bending the knee towards their overlord, MnC.
The warmongers amongst us expected a lot more from this so-called clash of the titans. If only there was an option to demote these to factions, maybe make them another pair of JFK subs by force as punishment for disappointing us all. Although not everyone was disappointed. In fact, as you can see from the following quotes, most players had no idea this battle had even taken place.
MimeFaceKiller: "They what? Don't really know anything about it."
TheoZ: "The what? :O All I know about them is that Dekloren left because of that. I am not into politics and shit, too much drama. I heard he left because they made a deal/peace or whatever with them.."
easye: "They had a war? who won? Lol ok i remember Nova mentioning this, all of these hof factions think its ok to hit anyone but get salty when they get hit back."
Trumpy: "I like chicken nuggets."
So with war proving a damp squib, perhaps we should be looking to competitive warring to satisfy our appetites for destruction. Some notable players are preparing for CA by constructing or purchasing dirty bombs in anticipation of the day they can be unleashed. Meanwhile, some people are trading their weapons of mass destruction, as was the case with one anonymous seller who received a price so high he or she was able to purchase 88 individual boxing gloves - roughly equivalent to 44 pairs.
"It's the eye of the tiger, it's the dream of the fight"
The seller of this dirty bomb remains unknown, but the TCT has identified SaliD as the buyer. There are rumours that the seller may have been an old friend of SaliD's who sold him a pair of diving gloves back in December. Further whispers claim that this is the second bomb within SaliD's possession, making him highly unstable in the eyes of this reporter. I wouldn't want to poke him around with a stick a Saturday night when he is drunk and angry craving for pizza rolls.
mOsSieFieD is another player looking to join the Dirty Bomb club, as he has recently collected 100 cesiums and will shortly experience the feeling of holding a destructive weapon in his notoriously tiny hands.
Citizens might need to dust off their hazmat suits.
So with all these lunatics running around with nuclear weapons, we must ask ourselves if we really want terror to flow around Torn City. Perhaps it is a good thing that the war between SA and MnC was as interesting as a hot air sandwich, because the alternative could be death and destruction for all.
If we do want war, it might be necessary to fling poo in public to kick off some drama between factions. These two giants should be able to do it on their own without nuclear weapons on their hands. But the citizens of Torn shouldn't keep patting them on their backs telling them what good sports they are after this orchestrated demonstration of total warfailure.
Perhaps it is up to other factions to take up the mantle. Maybe a young upstart clan will be on the rise shortly after dirty bombs and competitive warring are enabled. And maybe one of the biggest contenders will be whichever faction manages to achieve the first 25k chain. Some have speculated that this record chain will be attempted this very weekend, and if so, will said faction reset their upgrades for warring? Will there be another fight behind the bike racks? And will it be as forgettable as the last big scrap?
I damn well hope not.
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