sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
On Monday we published a report on the recent fluctuations in the stock market, after a turbulent period of record highs and lows saw many citizens panic due to the implementation of unannounced market adjustments. Thankfully, our research revealed that no such alterations had taken place, but many were still curious as to what the future held for their carefully chosen stocks.
To help you decide what to do with your investments, the Torn City Times has used the research behind our recent article to compile a report on the three-year form of every stock available. Should the following information cause you to lose significant amounts of money, the Torn City Times bears no responsibility for your financial failings. If the data offered earns you a significant amount of profit, our fee is 25%.
Torn City Stock Exchange
Jan 15: $11,931
Jan 18: $13,215
Low: Nov 16, $10,435
High: Aug 15, $14,128
The TCSE 30 stock swole like Christian Bale prepping for Batman throughout 2015, but dropped like Christian Bale preparing for The Machinist over 2016. The stock has peaked and troughed since then, before beginning a steady ascent from October 2017. The forecast for the market's future is average, which is a level of success THE_DUDE can only ever aspire to.
Mc Smoogle Corp.
Jan 15: $520
Jan 18: $1,220
Low: Jan 15, $520
High: July 17, $1,554
Like my neighbour's son, Mc Smoogle Corp grew steadily until August last year when things began to turn sour rapidly. McSmoogle then started a recovery which continues to this day, unlike my neighbour's son, who is now dead. Over the long term the projection is good, but in the short term, analysts have described McSmoogle's fortunes as 'meh'.
Crude & Co.
Jan 15: $562
Jan 18: $904
Low: May 17, $462
High: Sept 15, $1,125
Crude & Co's stock reached a three-year high of $1,125 in Sept 15, before falling rapidly and maintaining a steady price of around $500-600. It began rising to its current above-average price in October 17, as if it had taken some kind of financial Viagra. The outlook for Crude is so-so, which is also the name of my favourite Chinese adult film actress.
Wind Lines Travel
Jan 15: $549
Jan 18: $794
Low: Mar 17, $477
High: Jan 18, $971
This volatile stock peaks and troughs on an almost monthly basis, and even reached as high as $971 earlier this month before dropping harder than a hot mixtape about Flight MH370. The outlook for this stock is poor, although based on its form of late, industry insiders have described this analysis as "hot steaming bol***ks".
Big Al's Gun Shop
Jan 15: $486
Jan 18: $657
Low: Nov 16, $205
High: Aug 15, $692
After bulging twice in 2015 like a pair of man-grapes in tight pants, Big Al's stock fell gradually until a huge slump in November 16 took almost half of its price off. The stock quickly recovered, though, and has enjoyed huge gains since October. The outlook for Big Al's is poor, however, since sales of bullets in Torn are down since modern citizens prefer to spend all day b***hing at each other instead.
Performance Ribaldry Network
Jan 15: $137
Jan 18: $617
Low: Jan 15, $137
High: Jan 18, $628
Sex sells, and the Performance Ribaldry Network's consistent growth is a prime example of that. Two nipple-esque peaks in July and October 16 aside, the stock has seen a smooth, hairless rise which shows no signs of abating. Predicted to grow at an average rate in the near future, doctors hate the one weird trick that has seen Performance Ribaldry exceed expectations.
International School TC
Jan 15: $462
Jan 18: $573
Low: Mar 16, $238
High: Jan 18, $604
The International School's value has proven volatile to say the least, despite its stock price increasing by a mere $111 in three years. A hundred-dollar rise and fall within the space of a month is a common occurrence for this stock, and although its price was as sleepy as a sloth in the K-hole for most of 2017, a recent surge has exacerbated this trend and chonged the school's valuation to a three-year record high. The prediction for this stock is known in the trade as a Maggie Gyllenhall - reasonable, but nothing worth telling your mates about.
Lucky Shots Casino
Jan 15: $551
Jan 18: $587
Low: Oct 17, $456
High: May 16, $804
Between September 15 and April 17, Lucky Shots Casino enjoyed a prosperous time with prices hovering between $600 and $800 per share. Like Anton Yelchin's jeep, May 17's slump failed to reverse, although steady growth has been enjoyed since November of that year. The forecast: Crushingly bland.
Torn City Health Service
Jan 15: $412
Jan 18: $565
Low: Sept 17, $345
High: Jan 18, $574
TCHS' boom period occurred between May 15 and Feb 17, where prices of $450-550 remained consistent. By March 17 $130 had been wiped off its value and smeared on the back of an armchair, but after an uncertain few months, the stock recovered to an all-time high in January 18. This stock's forecast is halfway between terrible and fantastic.
Torn City and Shanghai Banking Corporation
Jan 15: $581
Jan 18: $503
Low: Aug 16, $483
High: Mar 15, $803
TCSBC enjoyed a huge rise and fall in early 2015 but has performed steadily ever since, with March 17's $579 price being the Shang-highest since July 15. The forecast for this stock is "b***er all will happen".
Torn City Clothing
Jan 15: $319
Jan 18: $491
Low: Nov 16, $192
High: Jan 18, $504
The price of Torn City Clothing has never been higher having grown faster than Kelly Clarkson's appetite going from $212 to $491 in the space of six months. Throughout 2015 the stock performed well, until losing nearly 50% of its value between August and October. A small, hat-like peak arrived between April and July of 16, but it was only with its recent growth that a year of insipidity was finally ended. Prediction: A future that is a little too tight around the groin and thighs.
Torn City Investment Banking
Jan 15: $737
Jan 18: $484
Low: Nov 17, $378
High: Sept 17, $1020
TCB's boom periods came in three distinct blocks; November 15 - March 16, November 16 - January 17, and March 17 - October 17. The latter saw stock reach $1000+ for the first time since 2014, but its price then collapsed more dramatically than Nancy Kerrigan's clubbed knee to below $400, recovering only a fraction of its former value since. Forecast: Clammy.
The Empty Lunchbox Building Traders
Jan 15: $196
Jan 18: $453
Low: Nov 15, $120
High: Jan 18, $453
TELBT's price has never been higher, with its previous peak of $246 coming way back in February 2012. The stock has been as uneventful as the world paint drying championships for the past three years, but since October 17 a sharp rise has taken place, with much of this occurring in the past month. Forecast: That sucky teeth noise tradesmen make when something's expensive.
Torn City Times
Jan 15: $218
Jan 18: $512
Low: May 16, $196
High: Jan 18, $512
The TCT's stock tends to rise and fall by $50-100 over three month periods, but this trend ended in the middle of 2017 as its pattern levelled out somewhat. A brief surge in September 17 was followed by a massive spike from $205 to $500+ at the time of writing, with much of this growth attributed to the paper's outstanding output. The forecast for this stock is just a tad higher than magnificent.
Torn City Motors
Jan 15: $451
Jan 18: $460
Low: Apr 17, $297
High: Aug 15, $485
Torn City Motors ran slowly from Jan 15 to April 17's three-year low, but after a short period of stagnation, the stock has seen a rapid return to form with the price at its highest since August 21st, 2015. It's like an opposite Michael Schumacher. The forecast for this stock is comatose.
Syscore MFG
Jan 15: $498
Jan 18: $433
Low: Jan 18, $433
High: Oct 16, $590
Syscore's three-year drop of $65 does not paint a true picture of its stock price during that time, so someone should have dug up Bob Ross and got him to sketch it instead. Growth periods took place on four separate occasions in 2015, only for the price to down each time. Five more happy little spikes were observed in August 16, October 16, January 17, April 17 and Aug 17, with the latter signalling the end of the pattern and the beginning of a slump which has yet to be reversed. The forecast? Beige.
TC Media Productions
Jan 15: $388
Jan 18: $433
Low: Feb 16, $245
High: Apr 15, $571
TC Media has grown slightly in the past three years, but mostly thanks to a recent recovery where over $200 has been added to its share price since November 17. This is the exact opposite of what a Media qualification, as it is estimated the presence of Film Studies on your CV often leads to a $15,000 reduction in salary offered. The forecast for this stock is stupendous.
Symbiotic Ltd
Jan 15: $683
Jan 18: $359
Low: Jan 18, $359
High: June 15, $1,007
Shares in Symbiotic are at their lowest point since 2011. This stock enjoys a huge peak once every two or three years, with 2010's height of $1958 followed by a similar peak of $1283 in November 2013. As always, the third in any trilogy is always awful, and June 15's top price of $996 was far short of expectations. April 17 seemed to offer the promise of a return to former glories, but it was not to be, and the stock's future remains uncertain. Prediction: Just like my neighbour's son, this stock won't recover anytime soon.
Evil Duck's Candy Corp
Jan 15: $177
Jan 18: $352
Low: Nov 16, $75
High: Nov 17, $383
A slow decline from Jan 15 to Nov 16 has reversed dramatically in the year and two months since, with $200+ value added to the stock thanks to several price peaks in March, July, and December of 2017. In unrelated news, Evil-Duck's forum posts remain as unpopular as ever. Prediction: Flaccid.
Feathery Hotels Group
Jan 15: $354
Jan 18: $342
Low: Jan 18, $329
High: Aug 16, $502
The most notable rise in the past three years of FHC stocks came in mid-2016, when $150 was added to the value over two months. $100 was lost, returned and lost again in quick succession before the price settled again around the high $300's. This remained the case until early 2017 when a yearly high of $461 preceeded an upwards curve shakier than Neil Diamond's hands, only ending with December 17's inevitably tragic and devastating decline. Prediction: Dry heaving with nothing else left to vomit.
Home Retail Group
Jan 15: $369
Jan 18: $342
Low: Jan 18, $316
High: Sept 16, $570
The form of Home Retail Group looks like the life support machine of someone who was fine until an errant toddler accidentally kicked the plug out. Throughout 2015 and 2016, a monthly rise and fall of $200+ was not uncommon, but for much of 2017, this trend gave way to stagnation, with the rise of November and December curtailed by a massive slump to a record low earlier this month. Prediction: A tiny little dog named Clarence who is only mildly amusing at best.
TC Music Industries
Jan 15: $134
Jan 18: $334
Low: Jan 15, $134
High: Jan 18, $334
In the past three years, TC Music has never been lower than it was in January 2015. Similarly, its current price of $334 is a record high for the same period, with nothing much of note happening to this stock since October 2016. Despite these changes, Mumford and Sons are still absolute s**t. Average predictions all round.
Eaglewood Mercenary
Jan 15: $300
Jan 18: $307
Low: July 15, $240
High: Oct 16, $449
Three to four-month spike patterns can be seen in Eaglewood's stock price over the past three years, with the highest three coming between January of 2016 and 2017. As with Kristen Stewart, this easily forgettable stock had its heyday in 2010 when prices hit a record of $1448, but with nothing much to report since then, the three-year increase of $7 makes this more suitable for a short-term punt than a long-term investment. Even so, the prediction for this stock is ruddy marvelous.
Grain
Jan 15: $310
Jan 18: $277
Low: Dec 15, $152
High: Oct 17, $342
Grain has lost $33 in the past three years, but those with swift reaction times could've made good money on this stock by purchasing it at its lowest points in December 15, July 16, November 16 and May 17. Most of 2017 saw this stock stay stable, with only a small drop coming in December 2017. If another price drop is to follow, the trend indicates it may not occur for another few months yet. I blame this on the Keto diet. Prediction: Like 50/50 bread, good for nothing.
Insured On Us
Jan 15: $171
Jan 18: $270
Low: July 17, $138
High: Jan 18, $270
Insured On Us has barely changed price in the past seven years, with its most significant activity taking place in the past couple of months. Its record price was beaten in mid-November, and since then an upwards trend has continued with no signs of it slowing down as yet - a trait shared by those most likely to require an insurance payout after smashing into a family saloon. Prediction: As interesting as a man called Dave Johnson.
Messaging Inc
Jan 15: $194
Jan 18: $258
Low: Jun 16, $107
High: Jan 18, $286
Messaging Inc's peak was, until recently, a price of $248 achieved in September 2015. This was followed by a slump and stagnation, until 2016 and 2017's pattern of gradual growth resulted in a huge ejaculation to an all-time record high of $286. This stock remains on a high at present, but its outlook is said to be overcast with a chance of showers.
Society and Legal Authorities Group
Jan 15: $208
Jan 18: $251
Low: Nov 17, $149
High: Aug 15, $400
To make money from SLAGs you either need to become a pimp, or go back to 2015 and invest in their stocks before the September to December peak. SLAG has enjoyed a couple of spikes in the years since then, but a similar rise would not be seen again until November 2017, where the stock's record low was followed by a two-year high just nine days ago. This SLAG is predicted to be a stay at home mother of two in the near future.
Tell Group PLC
Jan 15: $142
Jan 18: $130
Low: Mar 16, $80
High: Jan 18, $194
Tell Group fell rapidly from April to August of 2015, before bouncing up and down like an over-stimulated child on a trampoline. November 2017 saw the stock peak to a three-year high of $194, but this remains well short of its record of $391 back in 2010. Taking into account its recent decline, Tell is expected to level out like my mother when she remembers to take her medication in the mornings.
I Industries Ltd
Jan 15: $1,104
Jan 18: $132
Low: Jan 17, $64
High: Feb 16, $1960
The drop in value achieved by I Industries Ltd is akin to the fall in fortunes of Harvey Weinstein. The stock enjoyed consistent growth for 15 months from January 2015, until March 2016 saw $1,600 wiped off its value quicker than incriminating evidence off a starlet's red carpet gown. The stock then endured a slow slump to a record low in January 17, and while its price has doubled since then, it seems unlikely I Industries will return to anything like the price we saw a few years back.
West Side South Bank University
Jan 15: $200
Jan 18: $105
Low: July 16, $66
High: July 17, $1,233
As noted by KermodeBear in a forum post, WSSB has lost over 90% of its value since July 2017. This high price was gained steadily over twelve months from July 2016 through to its crash earlier this year. Mr Bear has called for Director Mrs Katharine Hamjoint to be fired as a result, with this issue proving to be the most controversial thing WSSB has ever been involved in.
Yazoo
Jan 15: $514
Jan 18: $84
Low: June 17, $78
High: Jan 18, $1707
Some cited the rise and fall of Yazoo between 2014 and 2017 as an example of how the market has been secretly manipulated, but if truth be told, this stock gained value almost as quickly and unsuspiciously as it lost it. In fact, while the initial drop of $900 from August to October 15 was rapid, it took another six months for another $700 to be removed from the price. In other news, a six-pack of strawberry Yazoo milkshake can be purchased for 59 pence online, a price so low as to be slightly worrisome to the discerning consumer. The outlook for this stock is that it has an expiry date consistent with a recently purchased yoghurt.
To help you decide what to do with your investments, the Torn City Times has used the research behind our recent article to compile a report on the three-year form of every stock available. Should the following information cause you to lose significant amounts of money, the Torn City Times bears no responsibility for your financial failings. If the data offered earns you a significant amount of profit, our fee is 25%.
Torn City Stock Exchange
Jan 15: $11,931
Jan 18: $13,215
Low: Nov 16, $10,435
High: Aug 15, $14,128
The TCSE 30 stock swole like Christian Bale prepping for Batman throughout 2015, but dropped like Christian Bale preparing for The Machinist over 2016. The stock has peaked and troughed since then, before beginning a steady ascent from October 2017. The forecast for the market's future is average, which is a level of success THE_DUDE can only ever aspire to.
Mc Smoogle Corp.
Jan 15: $520
Jan 18: $1,220
Low: Jan 15, $520
High: July 17, $1,554
Like my neighbour's son, Mc Smoogle Corp grew steadily until August last year when things began to turn sour rapidly. McSmoogle then started a recovery which continues to this day, unlike my neighbour's son, who is now dead. Over the long term the projection is good, but in the short term, analysts have described McSmoogle's fortunes as 'meh'.
Crude & Co.
Jan 15: $562
Jan 18: $904
Low: May 17, $462
High: Sept 15, $1,125
Crude & Co's stock reached a three-year high of $1,125 in Sept 15, before falling rapidly and maintaining a steady price of around $500-600. It began rising to its current above-average price in October 17, as if it had taken some kind of financial Viagra. The outlook for Crude is so-so, which is also the name of my favourite Chinese adult film actress.
Wind Lines Travel
Jan 15: $549
Jan 18: $794
Low: Mar 17, $477
High: Jan 18, $971
This volatile stock peaks and troughs on an almost monthly basis, and even reached as high as $971 earlier this month before dropping harder than a hot mixtape about Flight MH370. The outlook for this stock is poor, although based on its form of late, industry insiders have described this analysis as "hot steaming bol***ks".
Big Al's Gun Shop
Jan 15: $486
Jan 18: $657
Low: Nov 16, $205
High: Aug 15, $692
After bulging twice in 2015 like a pair of man-grapes in tight pants, Big Al's stock fell gradually until a huge slump in November 16 took almost half of its price off. The stock quickly recovered, though, and has enjoyed huge gains since October. The outlook for Big Al's is poor, however, since sales of bullets in Torn are down since modern citizens prefer to spend all day b***hing at each other instead.
Performance Ribaldry Network
Jan 15: $137
Jan 18: $617
Low: Jan 15, $137
High: Jan 18, $628
Sex sells, and the Performance Ribaldry Network's consistent growth is a prime example of that. Two nipple-esque peaks in July and October 16 aside, the stock has seen a smooth, hairless rise which shows no signs of abating. Predicted to grow at an average rate in the near future, doctors hate the one weird trick that has seen Performance Ribaldry exceed expectations.
International School TC
Jan 15: $462
Jan 18: $573
Low: Mar 16, $238
High: Jan 18, $604
The International School's value has proven volatile to say the least, despite its stock price increasing by a mere $111 in three years. A hundred-dollar rise and fall within the space of a month is a common occurrence for this stock, and although its price was as sleepy as a sloth in the K-hole for most of 2017, a recent surge has exacerbated this trend and chonged the school's valuation to a three-year record high. The prediction for this stock is known in the trade as a Maggie Gyllenhall - reasonable, but nothing worth telling your mates about.
Lucky Shots Casino
Jan 15: $551
Jan 18: $587
Low: Oct 17, $456
High: May 16, $804
Between September 15 and April 17, Lucky Shots Casino enjoyed a prosperous time with prices hovering between $600 and $800 per share. Like Anton Yelchin's jeep, May 17's slump failed to reverse, although steady growth has been enjoyed since November of that year. The forecast: Crushingly bland.
Torn City Health Service
Jan 15: $412
Jan 18: $565
Low: Sept 17, $345
High: Jan 18, $574
TCHS' boom period occurred between May 15 and Feb 17, where prices of $450-550 remained consistent. By March 17 $130 had been wiped off its value and smeared on the back of an armchair, but after an uncertain few months, the stock recovered to an all-time high in January 18. This stock's forecast is halfway between terrible and fantastic.
Torn City and Shanghai Banking Corporation
Jan 15: $581
Jan 18: $503
Low: Aug 16, $483
High: Mar 15, $803
TCSBC enjoyed a huge rise and fall in early 2015 but has performed steadily ever since, with March 17's $579 price being the Shang-highest since July 15. The forecast for this stock is "b***er all will happen".
Torn City Clothing
Jan 15: $319
Jan 18: $491
Low: Nov 16, $192
High: Jan 18, $504
The price of Torn City Clothing has never been higher having grown faster than Kelly Clarkson's appetite going from $212 to $491 in the space of six months. Throughout 2015 the stock performed well, until losing nearly 50% of its value between August and October. A small, hat-like peak arrived between April and July of 16, but it was only with its recent growth that a year of insipidity was finally ended. Prediction: A future that is a little too tight around the groin and thighs.
Torn City Investment Banking
Jan 15: $737
Jan 18: $484
Low: Nov 17, $378
High: Sept 17, $1020
TCB's boom periods came in three distinct blocks; November 15 - March 16, November 16 - January 17, and March 17 - October 17. The latter saw stock reach $1000+ for the first time since 2014, but its price then collapsed more dramatically than Nancy Kerrigan's clubbed knee to below $400, recovering only a fraction of its former value since. Forecast: Clammy.
The Empty Lunchbox Building Traders
Jan 15: $196
Jan 18: $453
Low: Nov 15, $120
High: Jan 18, $453
TELBT's price has never been higher, with its previous peak of $246 coming way back in February 2012. The stock has been as uneventful as the world paint drying championships for the past three years, but since October 17 a sharp rise has taken place, with much of this occurring in the past month. Forecast: That sucky teeth noise tradesmen make when something's expensive.
Torn City Times
Jan 15: $218
Jan 18: $512
Low: May 16, $196
High: Jan 18, $512
The TCT's stock tends to rise and fall by $50-100 over three month periods, but this trend ended in the middle of 2017 as its pattern levelled out somewhat. A brief surge in September 17 was followed by a massive spike from $205 to $500+ at the time of writing, with much of this growth attributed to the paper's outstanding output. The forecast for this stock is just a tad higher than magnificent.
Torn City Motors
Jan 15: $451
Jan 18: $460
Low: Apr 17, $297
High: Aug 15, $485
Torn City Motors ran slowly from Jan 15 to April 17's three-year low, but after a short period of stagnation, the stock has seen a rapid return to form with the price at its highest since August 21st, 2015. It's like an opposite Michael Schumacher. The forecast for this stock is comatose.
Syscore MFG
Jan 15: $498
Jan 18: $433
Low: Jan 18, $433
High: Oct 16, $590
Syscore's three-year drop of $65 does not paint a true picture of its stock price during that time, so someone should have dug up Bob Ross and got him to sketch it instead. Growth periods took place on four separate occasions in 2015, only for the price to down each time. Five more happy little spikes were observed in August 16, October 16, January 17, April 17 and Aug 17, with the latter signalling the end of the pattern and the beginning of a slump which has yet to be reversed. The forecast? Beige.
TC Media Productions
Jan 15: $388
Jan 18: $433
Low: Feb 16, $245
High: Apr 15, $571
TC Media has grown slightly in the past three years, but mostly thanks to a recent recovery where over $200 has been added to its share price since November 17. This is the exact opposite of what a Media qualification, as it is estimated the presence of Film Studies on your CV often leads to a $15,000 reduction in salary offered. The forecast for this stock is stupendous.
Symbiotic Ltd
Jan 15: $683
Jan 18: $359
Low: Jan 18, $359
High: June 15, $1,007
Shares in Symbiotic are at their lowest point since 2011. This stock enjoys a huge peak once every two or three years, with 2010's height of $1958 followed by a similar peak of $1283 in November 2013. As always, the third in any trilogy is always awful, and June 15's top price of $996 was far short of expectations. April 17 seemed to offer the promise of a return to former glories, but it was not to be, and the stock's future remains uncertain. Prediction: Just like my neighbour's son, this stock won't recover anytime soon.
Evil Duck's Candy Corp
Jan 15: $177
Jan 18: $352
Low: Nov 16, $75
High: Nov 17, $383
A slow decline from Jan 15 to Nov 16 has reversed dramatically in the year and two months since, with $200+ value added to the stock thanks to several price peaks in March, July, and December of 2017. In unrelated news, Evil-Duck's forum posts remain as unpopular as ever. Prediction: Flaccid.
Feathery Hotels Group
Jan 15: $354
Jan 18: $342
Low: Jan 18, $329
High: Aug 16, $502
The most notable rise in the past three years of FHC stocks came in mid-2016, when $150 was added to the value over two months. $100 was lost, returned and lost again in quick succession before the price settled again around the high $300's. This remained the case until early 2017 when a yearly high of $461 preceeded an upwards curve shakier than Neil Diamond's hands, only ending with December 17's inevitably tragic and devastating decline. Prediction: Dry heaving with nothing else left to vomit.
Home Retail Group
Jan 15: $369
Jan 18: $342
Low: Jan 18, $316
High: Sept 16, $570
The form of Home Retail Group looks like the life support machine of someone who was fine until an errant toddler accidentally kicked the plug out. Throughout 2015 and 2016, a monthly rise and fall of $200+ was not uncommon, but for much of 2017, this trend gave way to stagnation, with the rise of November and December curtailed by a massive slump to a record low earlier this month. Prediction: A tiny little dog named Clarence who is only mildly amusing at best.
TC Music Industries
Jan 15: $134
Jan 18: $334
Low: Jan 15, $134
High: Jan 18, $334
In the past three years, TC Music has never been lower than it was in January 2015. Similarly, its current price of $334 is a record high for the same period, with nothing much of note happening to this stock since October 2016. Despite these changes, Mumford and Sons are still absolute s**t. Average predictions all round.
Eaglewood Mercenary
Jan 15: $300
Jan 18: $307
Low: July 15, $240
High: Oct 16, $449
Three to four-month spike patterns can be seen in Eaglewood's stock price over the past three years, with the highest three coming between January of 2016 and 2017. As with Kristen Stewart, this easily forgettable stock had its heyday in 2010 when prices hit a record of $1448, but with nothing much to report since then, the three-year increase of $7 makes this more suitable for a short-term punt than a long-term investment. Even so, the prediction for this stock is ruddy marvelous.
Grain
Jan 15: $310
Jan 18: $277
Low: Dec 15, $152
High: Oct 17, $342
Grain has lost $33 in the past three years, but those with swift reaction times could've made good money on this stock by purchasing it at its lowest points in December 15, July 16, November 16 and May 17. Most of 2017 saw this stock stay stable, with only a small drop coming in December 2017. If another price drop is to follow, the trend indicates it may not occur for another few months yet. I blame this on the Keto diet. Prediction: Like 50/50 bread, good for nothing.
Insured On Us
Jan 15: $171
Jan 18: $270
Low: July 17, $138
High: Jan 18, $270
Insured On Us has barely changed price in the past seven years, with its most significant activity taking place in the past couple of months. Its record price was beaten in mid-November, and since then an upwards trend has continued with no signs of it slowing down as yet - a trait shared by those most likely to require an insurance payout after smashing into a family saloon. Prediction: As interesting as a man called Dave Johnson.
Messaging Inc
Jan 15: $194
Jan 18: $258
Low: Jun 16, $107
High: Jan 18, $286
Messaging Inc's peak was, until recently, a price of $248 achieved in September 2015. This was followed by a slump and stagnation, until 2016 and 2017's pattern of gradual growth resulted in a huge ejaculation to an all-time record high of $286. This stock remains on a high at present, but its outlook is said to be overcast with a chance of showers.
Society and Legal Authorities Group
Jan 15: $208
Jan 18: $251
Low: Nov 17, $149
High: Aug 15, $400
To make money from SLAGs you either need to become a pimp, or go back to 2015 and invest in their stocks before the September to December peak. SLAG has enjoyed a couple of spikes in the years since then, but a similar rise would not be seen again until November 2017, where the stock's record low was followed by a two-year high just nine days ago. This SLAG is predicted to be a stay at home mother of two in the near future.
Tell Group PLC
Jan 15: $142
Jan 18: $130
Low: Mar 16, $80
High: Jan 18, $194
Tell Group fell rapidly from April to August of 2015, before bouncing up and down like an over-stimulated child on a trampoline. November 2017 saw the stock peak to a three-year high of $194, but this remains well short of its record of $391 back in 2010. Taking into account its recent decline, Tell is expected to level out like my mother when she remembers to take her medication in the mornings.
I Industries Ltd
Jan 15: $1,104
Jan 18: $132
Low: Jan 17, $64
High: Feb 16, $1960
The drop in value achieved by I Industries Ltd is akin to the fall in fortunes of Harvey Weinstein. The stock enjoyed consistent growth for 15 months from January 2015, until March 2016 saw $1,600 wiped off its value quicker than incriminating evidence off a starlet's red carpet gown. The stock then endured a slow slump to a record low in January 17, and while its price has doubled since then, it seems unlikely I Industries will return to anything like the price we saw a few years back.
West Side South Bank University
Jan 15: $200
Jan 18: $105
Low: July 16, $66
High: July 17, $1,233
As noted by KermodeBear in a forum post, WSSB has lost over 90% of its value since July 2017. This high price was gained steadily over twelve months from July 2016 through to its crash earlier this year. Mr Bear has called for Director Mrs Katharine Hamjoint to be fired as a result, with this issue proving to be the most controversial thing WSSB has ever been involved in.
Yazoo
Jan 15: $514
Jan 18: $84
Low: June 17, $78
High: Jan 18, $1707
Some cited the rise and fall of Yazoo between 2014 and 2017 as an example of how the market has been secretly manipulated, but if truth be told, this stock gained value almost as quickly and unsuspiciously as it lost it. In fact, while the initial drop of $900 from August to October 15 was rapid, it took another six months for another $700 to be removed from the price. In other news, a six-pack of strawberry Yazoo milkshake can be purchased for 59 pence online, a price so low as to be slightly worrisome to the discerning consumer. The outlook for this stock is that it has an expiry date consistent with a recently purchased yoghurt.
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