sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
On the 5th of February at 7:40pm Torn City Time, daCampa achieved Level 100 status and in the process became the hundredth Torn citizen to do so. A humble strip club owner who joined our city on the 4th of October 2005, daCampa hit this milestone during a chain and announced his successful completion of the "fakest achievement in Torn" via a forum post shortly after.
But fake it most certainly was not, for the reaching of our city's highest level represented the culmination of 4507 days of hard work. And the chance to be the 100th was a dream held by literally tens of people ever since Bodybagger bagged the number 1 spot all those years ago. With the desire to be number 100 burning bright like dud fairy lights, the race for this prestigious accolade begun in earnest as soon as SourRon filled the 99th spot with his mighty girth at 6:28 TCT.
"I was glad to be among the first 100 because I knew there were a bunch of people able to upgrade but holding off from doing so. I wasn't bothered about being 100th."
Indeedy deedy, deedy doo. What was interesting about this historical occasion was its bizarre timing. Six players all levelled up to 100 just hours after I'd published an article indicating that there were six people all holding on level 99. Coincidence? Yes, according to daCampa, who says he only happened to check the Battle Stats HoF and see his opportunity to level out of sheer luck.
SourRon no relation to the abhorred creator of the One Ring suggests otherwise, as while he is apparently not a reader of the newspaper himself (bastard), news of our exclusive scoop had made its way to him via his faction leader.
"I was informed by Hopslam via faction chat of the newspaper article and a possible prize did motivate me because I knew I was 99% of the way based on my previous check with the fortune teller. I expect it [the prize] could be anything between underwhelming and good. I would prefer something that is not generally available like a book of choice for free."
The six who levelled up to 100 in the hours following my article were, in order, Nath, SourRon, daCampa, Alleycat, KjS and sharkeyfive. Of these centurions, daCampa, Alleycat, KjS and Sharkeyfive were all identified as holding, with one of the remaining holders having been absent for nearly two years, and the other seemingly uninterested in levelling up as yet.
SourRon hit level 100 with minimal fuss, having set himself up to attack several people before securing level 100 status on the second assault. daCampa's rise required more effort, though, as he hit 100 through the consistent chaining of attacks, although he claims he benefitted massively from the introduction of Chaining 2.0.
"The new system turns optimal chaining into powerlevelling. I barely hit anyone below 95, and always left on the street except for bounties and on a couple retals. I chained in 3 different factions and did over 800 hits in the new system. That is a lot of accidental powerlevel. Don't thnk I'm marked simply because there are many other high levels who are easier to beat."
"I had thought about it [level 100] when I was around #100 in level, but didn't really plan for it at the time. As some people powerlevelled I dropped to around #115 so I thought it wasn't worth sacrificing training just for a gimmick. But once I started chaining I saw how hard I was climbing in HoF and saw the opportunity. Looks like sharkey was aiming for it for a long time so I really was lucky to get it."
Indeed, three more level 100's emerged in the hours which followed our 100th, but they were all down low too slow to enter the record books, for it was daCampa who claimed his place in history as the final entrant into the Level Hall of Fame's illustrious first five pages.
Unless someone gets placed in fed, of course.
When we compiled our list of the first fifty Level 100 players back in March 2017, we had a tricky decision to make. Unknown_Element was the 44th player to reach the century mark, but since he was placed in federal jail for various shenanigans shortly afterwards his name does not appear in the official Hall of Fame. We originally decided this was unfair, so we included him. But in the months since this article was published, our minds have changed like so many Pink Power genders, as it came to my attention that another Level 100 player was one of the first to achieve this feat but his details were excluded from the original list I received.
So, in the interests of not-at-all fairness and barely there consistency, we have decided that the current Hall of Fame first 100 will stand forever.
Moving on. The question on most people's disease-riddled lips is "what has this all done to the graph?" by which you are of course referring to the charts compiled in the article celebrating Torn's 50th Level 100 back in March of 2017. In this piece, I presented various interesting statistics which I'd discovered regarding the Level 100 players. Since then, several of these records have now been broken, so if you poindexters can hold on just one damn second, I shall present to you the updated statistics regarding the first 100 top-level players.
Endurvoextur is now the fastest player to reach level 100, having achieved this in 1095 days, which is 36 days quicker than previous record holder Sifonjerce. She is also the youngest, beating previous holder TheCheesinater, having signed up two years later than her predecessor on 30th of December 2014. Endurvoextur, who wishes to be known by her old name, Proxima, realised she could become the fastest level 100 during an uneventful, entirely fair competition which took place last year.
"During Elimination '17 I found myself levelling quite fast just hitting level 70-90s, and when I considered how many hits I could make a day on average I worked out that I probably had plenty of time to smash Sif's record."
"Even then, I hadn't reached stat goals I had set myself so I put it off. About 10 days into Dog Tags '17, I was 1058 days old, level 82 and super bored of looking for tags. So I talked with a couple of friends about going for it again, they gave me encouragement, and off I went. Somewhere on the order of 4000 attacks later I got the upgrade button."
Although her famous Battle Stats list came in handy during this feat in helping her pick out players to avoid, Proxima insists it wasn't compiled to help her in such a way, and it did not identify any great targets anyway. She also says there's no real secret to levelling, as it is merely a case of attacking high levels and leaving them. But levelling up fast is a different water boiling device of sea creatures altogether.
"The secret to levelling fast is spending dumb amounts of money. I spent about $500m paying other weak level 100s to attack me and lose 3 times a day. I spent probably $2b having JACKBLACK chain-revived so that a) I got the maximum respect (as his stats were higher than mine) and b) I didn't have to wait for all the well-known level targets to come out of hospital every 20 minutes. I think I spent upwards of $150m buying JACKBLACK out of jail too."
"Being weak was my main initial concern but my friends helped me realise that achieving rare awards has always been my main play-style and way more important than my battle stats. There are also a substantial number of weaker level 100s than me, and my battle stats are growing faster than most of Torn's anyway. I might be bullied for the next year or two but after that my s**tlist of abusers is getting di**ed all over."
"Sorry in advance that these answers aren't very concise but my Mum won't listen to this bulls**t so someone has to let me ramble."
Pictured: Proxima and Mother. 'Holy s**t mum I levelled so hard last night omfg'
From the swift to the lethargic. Rekker is now the slowest player to reach level 100, having taken 4808 days to reach the top. Easye was the former slowest on 4327 days, but Rekker smashed this record by an incredible 481 days. You may think this makes our city's 1761st citizen something of a lazybones, but before you sign the petition to have him put down at the vets, you should know that Rekker's achievement of Level 100 is all the more impressive given his extended absence a few years ago.
"Level just came naturally for me mostly. Have you seen my hit count? Yea I am aware I achieved this feat in the longest period of time but more people to come yet to break the record again. I had a massive gap of 7 years from torn I believe. I came back to play the game around age 2,800 and been active daily since then, Sad isn't it lol."
"I don't know what makes me come back probably a mixture of things really but mostly it's the faction life, without it a lot of people wouldn't bother with this game. Faction definitely need to be on top priority list at all times here in torn."
Rekker shares SourRon's belief that the new chaining system makes levelling easier than ever before, and while he contends this is a problem, he feels it would be unfair to newer players to increase the experience points needed. As one of the old guard, Rekker has also contributed to another record; 17 level 100 players are now members of the five digits or less club - by which I'm referring to their player number, not how many fingers, toes and genitals they possess.
The_Storm, Concrete_Shoes, Puscifer, ttyper, Htr and Rekker have swollen this number from its previous total of 11. Among these veterans, Robinhood remains the oldest player to have hit 100, having signed up on the 16th of November 2004. Rekker now comes in at second, since he joined on the 3rd of December that year.
Speaking of age, players are on average 3208 days old when they level up to 100 (median 3332), compared to the previous figure of 2977 (median 3108). 2017 gave us the most level 100's by far, with 44 coming that year compared to 22 in 2016 and 11 in 2015. Based on this trend and the 11 to have achieved it in 2018 thus far, we expect this year's total of level 100's to be approximately a metric f**ktonne. December remains the most popular month for levelling up (16) although January, February, and November are close behind on 11. Experts have determined that this is because, in the summer, most people are too busy outside playing hopscotch and losing their childhood innocence to spend time levelling.
Players who signed up in 2005 have always given us the most level 100's. After the first fifty, this figure was 16, and it has now grown to 29. 2008 is the second most fruitful year with 18 level 100's. We also have two from 2014, but none from 2013, because those guys suck. The past twelve months specifically have been a productive one for women or those who identify as such. There were only two women in the first fifty; Solaris and Pand0ra. Now there are now eleven, with Alexstrasza, Harfsen, Poptop, CindyFury, HippoHugger, Endurvoextur and Gob added to the list, and Maxmanus and L4suicide from the original fifty having changed gender since.
Full up to the guts with stats? Let's discuss prizes. How should we, the Torn overlords, honour those who have dedicated a significant portion of their mortal existence to the achievement of Level 100? Is it merely enough that they should see a different number where another number once stood? Yes, says the community, who in their typical curmudgeonly style believe that the 100 first centurions should receive the princely sum of the square root of bugger all.
Not everyone was so scroogelike, though. In a thoughtful and erudite post by shak, the Dropbears leader suggested handing each Level 100 player a Bugatti and a permanent get out of jail free card. What a generous soul. Other suggestions included a rare, useless untradable item, a booster book, an honour bar, 100 boxes of tissues, a pat on the back, a memorial spot, a secret club, a superhero cape and a one-month gift card for another MMO so they can start grinding a different game. All wonderful suggestions, and ones we shall consider when making our choice.
Yet despite seeking out your opinion in such a generous fashion, some people seemed irritated by the fact that we gave you the option to vote to hand these players nothing, despite already indicating we would like to reward them in some way. We chose to do this because in Torn we believe in replicating the ideals of real-world democracy here in our fair city; i.e., it doesn't matter what you vote for, we'll do what we want, and you will be grateful so help you god.
We shall announce our decision on prizes in good time, but really, isn't the prize of achievement the biggest prize of all? Who really needs a prize anyway? Is there a single prize which could accurately represent the years of dedication which has gone into securing the prize of Level 100 status? And how many times can I say prize until semantic satiation kicks in and you can't say prize without it sounding weird?
The answer to all of these questions is yes, as is our response to those wondering if anything worthwhile can be achieved beyond Level 100. Of course there is. SourRon is currently focused on gaining merits, with the final auto-theft medal well within reach. Rekker plans to continue prioritising his company, which he is at pains to point out is the number one mining corporation in all of Torn City.
Elsewhere, Proxima says she has many intermediate goals, but her main aim is to get a hug from Chedburn, with her frequently sarcastic nature placing a wedge between the pair of late. And bizarrely, our number 100 daCampa plans to give away all of his wealth to anyone who sends him a jpeg of a freshly steamed ham. Or at least that's what I assume he would've said if I hadn't forgotten to ask.
Clearly, there is much more to Torn City life than Level 100 status. It is a fine achievement no doubt, but without the faction conflicts, the stock dramas, the petty rivalries and the ceaseless bickering in the forums, Level 100 would mean nothing. Congratulations must go to the first 100 Level 100's, but we at Torn also salute the rest of you non-achievers, who strive every day for that extra morsel of energy, happiness or respect you need to achieve your own personal goals. You all deserve prizes. You won't get one, but you deserve one.
So well done everybody. A pat on the back to each and every one of you who returns to Torn City to play your way every single day. You done great.
Except shak.
But fake it most certainly was not, for the reaching of our city's highest level represented the culmination of 4507 days of hard work. And the chance to be the 100th was a dream held by literally tens of people ever since Bodybagger bagged the number 1 spot all those years ago. With the desire to be number 100 burning bright like dud fairy lights, the race for this prestigious accolade begun in earnest as soon as SourRon filled the 99th spot with his mighty girth at 6:28 TCT.
"I was glad to be among the first 100 because I knew there were a bunch of people able to upgrade but holding off from doing so. I wasn't bothered about being 100th."
Indeedy deedy, deedy doo. What was interesting about this historical occasion was its bizarre timing. Six players all levelled up to 100 just hours after I'd published an article indicating that there were six people all holding on level 99. Coincidence? Yes, according to daCampa, who says he only happened to check the Battle Stats HoF and see his opportunity to level out of sheer luck.
SourRon no relation to the abhorred creator of the One Ring suggests otherwise, as while he is apparently not a reader of the newspaper himself (bastard), news of our exclusive scoop had made its way to him via his faction leader.
"I was informed by Hopslam via faction chat of the newspaper article and a possible prize did motivate me because I knew I was 99% of the way based on my previous check with the fortune teller. I expect it [the prize] could be anything between underwhelming and good. I would prefer something that is not generally available like a book of choice for free."
The six who levelled up to 100 in the hours following my article were, in order, Nath, SourRon, daCampa, Alleycat, KjS and sharkeyfive. Of these centurions, daCampa, Alleycat, KjS and Sharkeyfive were all identified as holding, with one of the remaining holders having been absent for nearly two years, and the other seemingly uninterested in levelling up as yet.
SourRon hit level 100 with minimal fuss, having set himself up to attack several people before securing level 100 status on the second assault. daCampa's rise required more effort, though, as he hit 100 through the consistent chaining of attacks, although he claims he benefitted massively from the introduction of Chaining 2.0.
"The new system turns optimal chaining into powerlevelling. I barely hit anyone below 95, and always left on the street except for bounties and on a couple retals. I chained in 3 different factions and did over 800 hits in the new system. That is a lot of accidental powerlevel. Don't thnk I'm marked simply because there are many other high levels who are easier to beat."
"I had thought about it [level 100] when I was around #100 in level, but didn't really plan for it at the time. As some people powerlevelled I dropped to around #115 so I thought it wasn't worth sacrificing training just for a gimmick. But once I started chaining I saw how hard I was climbing in HoF and saw the opportunity. Looks like sharkey was aiming for it for a long time so I really was lucky to get it."
Indeed, three more level 100's emerged in the hours which followed our 100th, but they were all down low too slow to enter the record books, for it was daCampa who claimed his place in history as the final entrant into the Level Hall of Fame's illustrious first five pages.
Unless someone gets placed in fed, of course.
When we compiled our list of the first fifty Level 100 players back in March 2017, we had a tricky decision to make. Unknown_Element was the 44th player to reach the century mark, but since he was placed in federal jail for various shenanigans shortly afterwards his name does not appear in the official Hall of Fame. We originally decided this was unfair, so we included him. But in the months since this article was published, our minds have changed like so many Pink Power genders, as it came to my attention that another Level 100 player was one of the first to achieve this feat but his details were excluded from the original list I received.
So, in the interests of not-at-all fairness and barely there consistency, we have decided that the current Hall of Fame first 100 will stand forever.
Moving on. The question on most people's disease-riddled lips is "what has this all done to the graph?" by which you are of course referring to the charts compiled in the article celebrating Torn's 50th Level 100 back in March of 2017. In this piece, I presented various interesting statistics which I'd discovered regarding the Level 100 players. Since then, several of these records have now been broken, so if you poindexters can hold on just one damn second, I shall present to you the updated statistics regarding the first 100 top-level players.
Endurvoextur is now the fastest player to reach level 100, having achieved this in 1095 days, which is 36 days quicker than previous record holder Sifonjerce. She is also the youngest, beating previous holder TheCheesinater, having signed up two years later than her predecessor on 30th of December 2014. Endurvoextur, who wishes to be known by her old name, Proxima, realised she could become the fastest level 100 during an uneventful, entirely fair competition which took place last year.
"During Elimination '17 I found myself levelling quite fast just hitting level 70-90s, and when I considered how many hits I could make a day on average I worked out that I probably had plenty of time to smash Sif's record."
"Even then, I hadn't reached stat goals I had set myself so I put it off. About 10 days into Dog Tags '17, I was 1058 days old, level 82 and super bored of looking for tags. So I talked with a couple of friends about going for it again, they gave me encouragement, and off I went. Somewhere on the order of 4000 attacks later I got the upgrade button."
Although her famous Battle Stats list came in handy during this feat in helping her pick out players to avoid, Proxima insists it wasn't compiled to help her in such a way, and it did not identify any great targets anyway. She also says there's no real secret to levelling, as it is merely a case of attacking high levels and leaving them. But levelling up fast is a different water boiling device of sea creatures altogether.
"The secret to levelling fast is spending dumb amounts of money. I spent about $500m paying other weak level 100s to attack me and lose 3 times a day. I spent probably $2b having JACKBLACK chain-revived so that a) I got the maximum respect (as his stats were higher than mine) and b) I didn't have to wait for all the well-known level targets to come out of hospital every 20 minutes. I think I spent upwards of $150m buying JACKBLACK out of jail too."
"Being weak was my main initial concern but my friends helped me realise that achieving rare awards has always been my main play-style and way more important than my battle stats. There are also a substantial number of weaker level 100s than me, and my battle stats are growing faster than most of Torn's anyway. I might be bullied for the next year or two but after that my s**tlist of abusers is getting di**ed all over."
"Sorry in advance that these answers aren't very concise but my Mum won't listen to this bulls**t so someone has to let me ramble."
Pictured: Proxima and Mother. 'Holy s**t mum I levelled so hard last night omfg'
From the swift to the lethargic. Rekker is now the slowest player to reach level 100, having taken 4808 days to reach the top. Easye was the former slowest on 4327 days, but Rekker smashed this record by an incredible 481 days. You may think this makes our city's 1761st citizen something of a lazybones, but before you sign the petition to have him put down at the vets, you should know that Rekker's achievement of Level 100 is all the more impressive given his extended absence a few years ago.
"Level just came naturally for me mostly. Have you seen my hit count? Yea I am aware I achieved this feat in the longest period of time but more people to come yet to break the record again. I had a massive gap of 7 years from torn I believe. I came back to play the game around age 2,800 and been active daily since then, Sad isn't it lol."
"I don't know what makes me come back probably a mixture of things really but mostly it's the faction life, without it a lot of people wouldn't bother with this game. Faction definitely need to be on top priority list at all times here in torn."
Rekker shares SourRon's belief that the new chaining system makes levelling easier than ever before, and while he contends this is a problem, he feels it would be unfair to newer players to increase the experience points needed. As one of the old guard, Rekker has also contributed to another record; 17 level 100 players are now members of the five digits or less club - by which I'm referring to their player number, not how many fingers, toes and genitals they possess.
The_Storm, Concrete_Shoes, Puscifer, ttyper, Htr and Rekker have swollen this number from its previous total of 11. Among these veterans, Robinhood remains the oldest player to have hit 100, having signed up on the 16th of November 2004. Rekker now comes in at second, since he joined on the 3rd of December that year.
Speaking of age, players are on average 3208 days old when they level up to 100 (median 3332), compared to the previous figure of 2977 (median 3108). 2017 gave us the most level 100's by far, with 44 coming that year compared to 22 in 2016 and 11 in 2015. Based on this trend and the 11 to have achieved it in 2018 thus far, we expect this year's total of level 100's to be approximately a metric f**ktonne. December remains the most popular month for levelling up (16) although January, February, and November are close behind on 11. Experts have determined that this is because, in the summer, most people are too busy outside playing hopscotch and losing their childhood innocence to spend time levelling.
Players who signed up in 2005 have always given us the most level 100's. After the first fifty, this figure was 16, and it has now grown to 29. 2008 is the second most fruitful year with 18 level 100's. We also have two from 2014, but none from 2013, because those guys suck. The past twelve months specifically have been a productive one for women or those who identify as such. There were only two women in the first fifty; Solaris and Pand0ra. Now there are now eleven, with Alexstrasza, Harfsen, Poptop, CindyFury, HippoHugger, Endurvoextur and Gob added to the list, and Maxmanus and L4suicide from the original fifty having changed gender since.
Full up to the guts with stats? Let's discuss prizes. How should we, the Torn overlords, honour those who have dedicated a significant portion of their mortal existence to the achievement of Level 100? Is it merely enough that they should see a different number where another number once stood? Yes, says the community, who in their typical curmudgeonly style believe that the 100 first centurions should receive the princely sum of the square root of bugger all.
Not everyone was so scroogelike, though. In a thoughtful and erudite post by shak, the Dropbears leader suggested handing each Level 100 player a Bugatti and a permanent get out of jail free card. What a generous soul. Other suggestions included a rare, useless untradable item, a booster book, an honour bar, 100 boxes of tissues, a pat on the back, a memorial spot, a secret club, a superhero cape and a one-month gift card for another MMO so they can start grinding a different game. All wonderful suggestions, and ones we shall consider when making our choice.
Yet despite seeking out your opinion in such a generous fashion, some people seemed irritated by the fact that we gave you the option to vote to hand these players nothing, despite already indicating we would like to reward them in some way. We chose to do this because in Torn we believe in replicating the ideals of real-world democracy here in our fair city; i.e., it doesn't matter what you vote for, we'll do what we want, and you will be grateful so help you god.
We shall announce our decision on prizes in good time, but really, isn't the prize of achievement the biggest prize of all? Who really needs a prize anyway? Is there a single prize which could accurately represent the years of dedication which has gone into securing the prize of Level 100 status? And how many times can I say prize until semantic satiation kicks in and you can't say prize without it sounding weird?
The answer to all of these questions is yes, as is our response to those wondering if anything worthwhile can be achieved beyond Level 100. Of course there is. SourRon is currently focused on gaining merits, with the final auto-theft medal well within reach. Rekker plans to continue prioritising his company, which he is at pains to point out is the number one mining corporation in all of Torn City.
Elsewhere, Proxima says she has many intermediate goals, but her main aim is to get a hug from Chedburn, with her frequently sarcastic nature placing a wedge between the pair of late. And bizarrely, our number 100 daCampa plans to give away all of his wealth to anyone who sends him a jpeg of a freshly steamed ham. Or at least that's what I assume he would've said if I hadn't forgotten to ask.
Clearly, there is much more to Torn City life than Level 100 status. It is a fine achievement no doubt, but without the faction conflicts, the stock dramas, the petty rivalries and the ceaseless bickering in the forums, Level 100 would mean nothing. Congratulations must go to the first 100 Level 100's, but we at Torn also salute the rest of you non-achievers, who strive every day for that extra morsel of energy, happiness or respect you need to achieve your own personal goals. You all deserve prizes. You won't get one, but you deserve one.
So well done everybody. A pat on the back to each and every one of you who returns to Torn City to play your way every single day. You done great.
Except shak.
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