sugarvalves [1963573] —
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Omnium rerum mensura est homo. Omnium rerum principia parva sunt
This week's The Weak in News column begins with a rundown of recent events involving notorious forum-tumour Sharpmid. But if such drivel isn't to your tastes, then scroll down for further news involving Duke and Level 100 players.
Federal Jailings Lead to Complaints
On the 2nd of February, a post by Hcom3 alerted the world to the fact that Sharpmid had been placed in federal jail. Under the title "Good news", this highly rated post speculated as to the reasons for Sharpmid's demise, with many pointing to his recent sharing of a video recording of Discord conversations as the primary cause. I have no intention of finding this video, and the Torn authorities are unable to divulge information regarding federal jailings, so I made the sickening decision to speak to Sharpmid earlier today in a bid to find out more and give a voice to the temporarily voiceless.
"I was banned due to me posting the link to a video which I had recorded during a voice conversation with Lane, Tracy & Collete which happened on Discord. The posting of this video was a response to the harassment I had recently received both on Discord and on the forums where mentioned player plus some additional player had posted my real life pictures several times on the forums and made fun of me."
"The content of the recorded video was a confrontation where the previously mentioned players attempted to humiliate me in exchange for not being hosped abroad. I took the opportunity to practice a new 'troll voice' which I used during the entire conversation to make it sound funny and basically just played along while they were harassing me."
Sharpmid claims the video was a joke, but that the targets failed to appreciate his specific kind of humour, leading to their complaints and his eventual ban. In the days following his exile, Sharpmid's fans posted various bits of guff in tribute to their fallen hero. Eventually, Sharpmid was released from federal jail and slapped with a forum ban, but many questioned why he had been placed in Fed in the first place.
This feeling culminated in a thread by Isreal which asked if federal jailings are becoming too frequent. Are the authorities justified in their actions? Have innocent men and women been thrown into the permaslammer for crimes which merited at most a slap on the wrist? A_Mean_Person queried why an Area Ban wasn't enough in Sharpmid's case, as the very rules themselves suggest this punishment. And in this respect, he is correct. An Area Ban was enough; after the proper procedures had been followed.
"Players are brought in for 'questioning' often, to be released when questions have been answered or lessons learned." - Chedburn
To elaborate, when a player is suspected of violating the rules, they are placed in Federal Jail while staff investigate the issue at hand and query the scumbag using a set of hot pliers. This not only enables the authorities to interrogate the suspect at leisure, it also means volatile individuals are shut down with immediate effect. Should evidence prove their case either way, the player in question will be released or banned as appropriate.
Hence it is clear, the staff have not abused their positions in jailing Sharpmid, and even if they had, who on God's green earth could blame them? When nurses smother their dying patients with a pillow, is this not compassionate? When a police officer looks the other way after seeing a sex offender lynched, is this not justice? If the staff were to target Sharpmid egregiously and swallow the key, should they not earn our respect?
We shall see. In the meantime, Sharpmid says he has learned his lesson, and that the community has also learned more about what is appropriate in the Torn forums. Nevertheless, he seems unafraid of further consequences should he step out of line again.
"I am not frightened by the warning. I know why staff did what they did and even though I might not agree it is their decision and not mine. I can see how my action were seen as harassment even though they were meant as a joke but at the end of the day it is all over now. I have served my punishment and re-read the set of rules on Torn and wont break them again."
Is that so? Interestingly, on the 4th of February, a new piece of footage came to light via a post by Hcom3 which claimed to be Sharpmid's revenge video. Hcom3 had posted the original news of Sharpmid's demise claiming it was "good news", and yet here he was promoting the man once more. What piqued my curiosity though was the origin of this post. Had Sharpmid instructed Hcom3 to share this video? If so, he would be guilty of breaking another Torn rule, and a permanent space in federal jail would be his reward.
Super duper eager to find out if this was the case, I asked Sharpmid directly. Unfortunately for me and the rest of Torn, the man of the infamously sharp mind failed to incriminate himself as I had hoped.
"I sent it to a group of friends and linked it within one discord channel and then a few hours I just noticed how It was posted on the forums. I didn't ask for the video to be posted and had no intentions of asking anyone to post it. But it seems like people liked it so It's all good."
For anyone who hasn't watched it, Sharpmid's video mentions several individuals who are now targeted for revenge; Badkitteh, Hildegarde, Collete, sharkeyfive, Badzena, -Tracy, London, Sporkmonkey, Rchkeir, Lane, Trader, Lonestar, Buston, Blazin, mikk, Wamu and even Hcom3. Sharpmid told me that punishment is being prepared for these named persons in return for their behaviour against him.
"Rest assured, I am preparing everything to let those people that wanted to see me suffer feel some of that return. Many things to do, many people to contact.The people on my list is a mix of people that have harassed me and made my time in Torn a living hell. My aim is to prove to the community that I am not only a troll poster but also a great player with a good personality."
"It will take some time to clean up my reputation on Torn but it is possible with time. I will continue helping new players and friends in need and slowly but surely end old wars. When coming back to the forums I plan on being more "low-key" and post a different type of comedy content to target all types of Torn players to enjoy which my previous threads did not."
"I want people to know that I am not a bad guy. I have been seen as a pain in the ass for most of the players on Torn and also claimed the title 'Public Enemy No.1' because of how hated I am. I want people to know that I am actually very friendly and If people come to me for help I am always willing to help."
Sharpmid went on to describe how he plans to change his perception in the community by reaching those who post hateful things or rude messages about him. He feels they react this way because they've never had a proper interaction with him, but one wonders whether naming them in a video and threatening punishment is an effective way of handing out the olive branch. Maybe they should try that with North and South Korea instead of that dumb joint hockey team.
Sharpmid also said something about starting a war fund for his revenge efforts and leaving his faction Sharp Minds, but by this point, I was more interested in whether Sharpmid would indeed fulfil his vow to post "low-key" content of a different kind of comedy. Is this a turning point for the forums? When Sharpmid returns after his three month forum ban, is he finally done with s**tposting? Should we take this promise seriously?
Duke's Islands Under Watch
A report leaked from the Torn City P.D. has revealed that a major surveillance operation is currently underway in the city, with the reported target being the various homes of Shirley Prima Dante Calabrese, a.k.a. The Duke.
The report does not provide any information regarding the purpose of this investigation, but it does indicate why this operation is being undertaken now. It seems that Duke is currently in possession of three private islands, two of which were recently vacated following the expiry of generous lease terms handed to winners of a competition. Due to an obscure Torn City law, it was these tenancy agreements which prevented the authorities from moving in to investigate the rotund mafioso, as Torn P.D.'s Chief Kravitz explains:
"We legally can't search a property while someone's living there ya know. Truth be told, we can't legally search it when they ain't there neither, but we do. Wowzers, you should see the crapola some people hide under their bed. Still, if we wanna use the evidence in trial we gotta wait until a property has been vacated five days until we can move in and rumble the joint."
This law is believed to have been introduced when Torn City was under mob rule, as the delay afforded by this edict allowed those subjected to warrants plenty of time to air out the smell of decomposed flesh and bleach. So, according to this rule, the authorities should be able to move in on Duke's properties within the next few days. If all goes to plan.
However, in response to this threat, the lonesome loan shark is reportedly looking for new tenants for all three of his private islands. It is not yet known what terms he is offering for these properties, but based on the cheap rents offered to the previous tenants and Duke's desperate situation, one can't imagine having to pay too much for a chance to shack up at Casa Calabrese.
Level 100's Level Holders
It has recently come to my attention that the race to be the number one player to hit level 100 has slowed down of late. By many people's predictions, we should have hit our century of top-level players by Christmas, and yet as of today, 5th of February, the Hall of Fame states we are three players short of the magic number.
I suspected that some players may be level holding in order to pounce when the 99th player has levelled up, so that they may take the glory of being the hundredth player to achieve this monumental feat. My suspicions were confirmed after a quick rummage through the Torn databases, and I can exclusively reveal that six players could level up for the hundredth and final time, but have for some reason chosen not to do so.
I would encourage these level holders to quit sitting on their backsides and get moving, though, since it has been rumoured there are exclusive prizes awaiting those who finish inside the top 100 Level 100's.
Federal Jailings Lead to Complaints
On the 2nd of February, a post by Hcom3 alerted the world to the fact that Sharpmid had been placed in federal jail. Under the title "Good news", this highly rated post speculated as to the reasons for Sharpmid's demise, with many pointing to his recent sharing of a video recording of Discord conversations as the primary cause. I have no intention of finding this video, and the Torn authorities are unable to divulge information regarding federal jailings, so I made the sickening decision to speak to Sharpmid earlier today in a bid to find out more and give a voice to the temporarily voiceless.
"I was banned due to me posting the link to a video which I had recorded during a voice conversation with Lane, Tracy & Collete which happened on Discord. The posting of this video was a response to the harassment I had recently received both on Discord and on the forums where mentioned player plus some additional player had posted my real life pictures several times on the forums and made fun of me."
"The content of the recorded video was a confrontation where the previously mentioned players attempted to humiliate me in exchange for not being hosped abroad. I took the opportunity to practice a new 'troll voice' which I used during the entire conversation to make it sound funny and basically just played along while they were harassing me."
Sharpmid claims the video was a joke, but that the targets failed to appreciate his specific kind of humour, leading to their complaints and his eventual ban. In the days following his exile, Sharpmid's fans posted various bits of guff in tribute to their fallen hero. Eventually, Sharpmid was released from federal jail and slapped with a forum ban, but many questioned why he had been placed in Fed in the first place.
This feeling culminated in a thread by Isreal which asked if federal jailings are becoming too frequent. Are the authorities justified in their actions? Have innocent men and women been thrown into the permaslammer for crimes which merited at most a slap on the wrist? A_Mean_Person queried why an Area Ban wasn't enough in Sharpmid's case, as the very rules themselves suggest this punishment. And in this respect, he is correct. An Area Ban was enough; after the proper procedures had been followed.
"Players are brought in for 'questioning' often, to be released when questions have been answered or lessons learned." - Chedburn
To elaborate, when a player is suspected of violating the rules, they are placed in Federal Jail while staff investigate the issue at hand and query the scumbag using a set of hot pliers. This not only enables the authorities to interrogate the suspect at leisure, it also means volatile individuals are shut down with immediate effect. Should evidence prove their case either way, the player in question will be released or banned as appropriate.
Hence it is clear, the staff have not abused their positions in jailing Sharpmid, and even if they had, who on God's green earth could blame them? When nurses smother their dying patients with a pillow, is this not compassionate? When a police officer looks the other way after seeing a sex offender lynched, is this not justice? If the staff were to target Sharpmid egregiously and swallow the key, should they not earn our respect?
We shall see. In the meantime, Sharpmid says he has learned his lesson, and that the community has also learned more about what is appropriate in the Torn forums. Nevertheless, he seems unafraid of further consequences should he step out of line again.
"I am not frightened by the warning. I know why staff did what they did and even though I might not agree it is their decision and not mine. I can see how my action were seen as harassment even though they were meant as a joke but at the end of the day it is all over now. I have served my punishment and re-read the set of rules on Torn and wont break them again."
Is that so? Interestingly, on the 4th of February, a new piece of footage came to light via a post by Hcom3 which claimed to be Sharpmid's revenge video. Hcom3 had posted the original news of Sharpmid's demise claiming it was "good news", and yet here he was promoting the man once more. What piqued my curiosity though was the origin of this post. Had Sharpmid instructed Hcom3 to share this video? If so, he would be guilty of breaking another Torn rule, and a permanent space in federal jail would be his reward.
Super duper eager to find out if this was the case, I asked Sharpmid directly. Unfortunately for me and the rest of Torn, the man of the infamously sharp mind failed to incriminate himself as I had hoped.
"I sent it to a group of friends and linked it within one discord channel and then a few hours I just noticed how It was posted on the forums. I didn't ask for the video to be posted and had no intentions of asking anyone to post it. But it seems like people liked it so It's all good."
For anyone who hasn't watched it, Sharpmid's video mentions several individuals who are now targeted for revenge; Badkitteh, Hildegarde, Collete, sharkeyfive, Badzena, -Tracy, London, Sporkmonkey, Rchkeir, Lane, Trader, Lonestar, Buston, Blazin, mikk, Wamu and even Hcom3. Sharpmid told me that punishment is being prepared for these named persons in return for their behaviour against him.
"Rest assured, I am preparing everything to let those people that wanted to see me suffer feel some of that return. Many things to do, many people to contact.The people on my list is a mix of people that have harassed me and made my time in Torn a living hell. My aim is to prove to the community that I am not only a troll poster but also a great player with a good personality."
"It will take some time to clean up my reputation on Torn but it is possible with time. I will continue helping new players and friends in need and slowly but surely end old wars. When coming back to the forums I plan on being more "low-key" and post a different type of comedy content to target all types of Torn players to enjoy which my previous threads did not."
"I want people to know that I am not a bad guy. I have been seen as a pain in the ass for most of the players on Torn and also claimed the title 'Public Enemy No.1' because of how hated I am. I want people to know that I am actually very friendly and If people come to me for help I am always willing to help."
Sharpmid went on to describe how he plans to change his perception in the community by reaching those who post hateful things or rude messages about him. He feels they react this way because they've never had a proper interaction with him, but one wonders whether naming them in a video and threatening punishment is an effective way of handing out the olive branch. Maybe they should try that with North and South Korea instead of that dumb joint hockey team.
Sharpmid also said something about starting a war fund for his revenge efforts and leaving his faction Sharp Minds, but by this point, I was more interested in whether Sharpmid would indeed fulfil his vow to post "low-key" content of a different kind of comedy. Is this a turning point for the forums? When Sharpmid returns after his three month forum ban, is he finally done with s**tposting? Should we take this promise seriously?
Duke's Islands Under Watch
A report leaked from the Torn City P.D. has revealed that a major surveillance operation is currently underway in the city, with the reported target being the various homes of Shirley Prima Dante Calabrese, a.k.a. The Duke.
The report does not provide any information regarding the purpose of this investigation, but it does indicate why this operation is being undertaken now. It seems that Duke is currently in possession of three private islands, two of which were recently vacated following the expiry of generous lease terms handed to winners of a competition. Due to an obscure Torn City law, it was these tenancy agreements which prevented the authorities from moving in to investigate the rotund mafioso, as Torn P.D.'s Chief Kravitz explains:
"We legally can't search a property while someone's living there ya know. Truth be told, we can't legally search it when they ain't there neither, but we do. Wowzers, you should see the crapola some people hide under their bed. Still, if we wanna use the evidence in trial we gotta wait until a property has been vacated five days until we can move in and rumble the joint."
This law is believed to have been introduced when Torn City was under mob rule, as the delay afforded by this edict allowed those subjected to warrants plenty of time to air out the smell of decomposed flesh and bleach. So, according to this rule, the authorities should be able to move in on Duke's properties within the next few days. If all goes to plan.
However, in response to this threat, the lonesome loan shark is reportedly looking for new tenants for all three of his private islands. It is not yet known what terms he is offering for these properties, but based on the cheap rents offered to the previous tenants and Duke's desperate situation, one can't imagine having to pay too much for a chance to shack up at Casa Calabrese.
Level 100's Level Holders
It has recently come to my attention that the race to be the number one player to hit level 100 has slowed down of late. By many people's predictions, we should have hit our century of top-level players by Christmas, and yet as of today, 5th of February, the Hall of Fame states we are three players short of the magic number.
I suspected that some players may be level holding in order to pounce when the 99th player has levelled up, so that they may take the glory of being the hundredth player to achieve this monumental feat. My suspicions were confirmed after a quick rummage through the Torn databases, and I can exclusively reveal that six players could level up for the hundredth and final time, but have for some reason chosen not to do so.
I would encourage these level holders to quit sitting on their backsides and get moving, though, since it has been rumoured there are exclusive prizes awaiting those who finish inside the top 100 Level 100's.
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