ArttiIsGod [1954421] —
Original article
Following last week's brain busting puzzle, today we have brought you a simpler srossword for people with a low IQ.
Hello and welcome back to all humans and other creatures. After escaping a crazy Laotian man's basement last week I crossed the border to Thailand to search for refuge at a Buddhist monastery. Let me tell you, it wasn't much better; a one-eyed monk tried to seduce me, I had to run. And fast. True story.
But enough of that, let's get back to crossword business. Our previous puzzle was small and tough like an angry midget. It took some people 36 hours to solve it, and as a result, we've had several new names pop into our inbox with the right answer. Only nine clever sods managed to beat this puzzle, with the fastest answer being sent by LumbricuS who has won a Goodie Bag for his effort.
Three runners-up were chosen after utilising a random number generator which broke all the known laws of quantum physics. In doing so, the likes of Goltred, RedHaZe and THXS4ALLTHEFISH were chosen. They will each receive a Donator Pack.
Unfortunately, nobody saw fit to send in a completed crossword to win the Donator Pack for most fanciest hand-drawn entry. As a result, this prize will be sent to a group of starving orphans whose food supplies we had cut just for this very occasion. Here is last week's puzzle solved in full, which I have decorated with eggs because I like eggs.
BIGGER IMAGE FOR BIG BOYS AND GIRLS
Right then mother hen, let's dig our nails into our this week's crossword and gouge its bloody eyes out. We promise that the following puzzle is so simple it should be described as a baby-easy I-can-do-it-in-my-sleep crossword.
BIG? YOU WANT IT BIG? FINE, HERE'S IT BIG
CLUES
1. Popular fish in the area
2. Destination of Xanax overdose
3. Number of heavyweight gyms
4. Place to store money
5. Human name of the Latter Lamp
6. Material of the watch
7. Language of torn
8. A job to get your surgeon's skills
9. Minimum happy
10. Amount of bread
11. Starting number of total battle stats
12. Torn City help and guide
13. Patch note honor number 48
14. Amanda's marital status
15. One month's worth of reading material
16. Neoprene product
17. Estate agent
18. Animal whose excrement you can buy at the market
19. Daily items allowance
20. Alcoholic beverage
21. Leafy drug
22. microwave is an answer
23. Number of sectors
Because this puzzle is so basic we've decided to let you figure out which clues go down and across. We believe in you. Don't make us regret that.
The first correct answer which lands in the inbox of ArttilsGod will take home a Feathery Hotel Coupon and the left-over Donator Pack we stole back from the orphans. Three randomly chosen winners will receive - let me think - five bounties each from the Duke itself. Just kidding, or maybe not? Oh okay fine, they will receive a Ranch apiece, but no dressing.
If anyone bothers to send me a fully solved crossword which is decorated as if it were flying in space, then I might have another Donator Pack to give away. If it's like, super spacey and stuff. All entries must be received by midnight on Sunday the 8th of July, by which point Sweden should have been eliminated from the World Cup. This has no relevance to the crossword, I just hope it happens.
Good luck and happy solving!
But enough of that, let's get back to crossword business. Our previous puzzle was small and tough like an angry midget. It took some people 36 hours to solve it, and as a result, we've had several new names pop into our inbox with the right answer. Only nine clever sods managed to beat this puzzle, with the fastest answer being sent by LumbricuS who has won a Goodie Bag for his effort.
Three runners-up were chosen after utilising a random number generator which broke all the known laws of quantum physics. In doing so, the likes of Goltred, RedHaZe and THXS4ALLTHEFISH were chosen. They will each receive a Donator Pack.
Unfortunately, nobody saw fit to send in a completed crossword to win the Donator Pack for most fanciest hand-drawn entry. As a result, this prize will be sent to a group of starving orphans whose food supplies we had cut just for this very occasion. Here is last week's puzzle solved in full, which I have decorated with eggs because I like eggs.
BIGGER IMAGE FOR BIG BOYS AND GIRLS
Right then mother hen, let's dig our nails into our this week's crossword and gouge its bloody eyes out. We promise that the following puzzle is so simple it should be described as a baby-easy I-can-do-it-in-my-sleep crossword.
BIG? YOU WANT IT BIG? FINE, HERE'S IT BIG
CLUES
1. Popular fish in the area
2. Destination of Xanax overdose
3. Number of heavyweight gyms
4. Place to store money
5. Human name of the Latter Lamp
6. Material of the watch
7. Language of torn
8. A job to get your surgeon's skills
9. Minimum happy
10. Amount of bread
11. Starting number of total battle stats
12. Torn City help and guide
13. Patch note honor number 48
14. Amanda's marital status
15. One month's worth of reading material
16. Neoprene product
17. Estate agent
18. Animal whose excrement you can buy at the market
19. Daily items allowance
20. Alcoholic beverage
21. Leafy drug
22. microwave is an answer
23. Number of sectors
Because this puzzle is so basic we've decided to let you figure out which clues go down and across. We believe in you. Don't make us regret that.
The first correct answer which lands in the inbox of ArttilsGod will take home a Feathery Hotel Coupon and the left-over Donator Pack we stole back from the orphans. Three randomly chosen winners will receive - let me think - five bounties each from the Duke itself. Just kidding, or maybe not? Oh okay fine, they will receive a Ranch apiece, but no dressing.
If anyone bothers to send me a fully solved crossword which is decorated as if it were flying in space, then I might have another Donator Pack to give away. If it's like, super spacey and stuff. All entries must be received by midnight on Sunday the 8th of July, by which point Sweden should have been eliminated from the World Cup. This has no relevance to the crossword, I just hope it happens.
Good luck and happy solving!
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