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Tiger Hunts Legal In South Africa

sugarvalves [1963573]
Hunting experience set to receive boost as Tigers now legally allowed to be made dead by Torn hunters.
A decades-long ban which prevented Torn citizens from hunting Tigers in South Africa will soon be lifted, as an edict from South African President Cyril Ramaphosa is set to come into effect as of 00:00 TCT on July 29th - just in time for World Tiger Day.

Once they reach level 15, Torn's citizens are permitted to travel to South Africa and shoot all manner of wild beasts including Warthogs, Zebras and even the strong, sensual Gorilla. In exchange for their kill, wannabe Walter Palmer's receive a sizeable sum from the locals, with rewards ranging from $250 for a Buffalo all the way to $12,000 for an Elephant.

Tigers have been historically protected from Torn's hunters due to the fact they are not native to the nation. The only ones which do reside in Jo'burg are those found in Zoos and Safari Parks. Shooting these is known to be particularly distressing for any onlooking children, and it has therefore been traditionally discouraged, as has the slaughter of Tiger Woods, Tyger Drew-Honey and notoriously shit rapper Tyga.

However, in recent years many Tigers have escaped their confines, and there are now several wild colonies which inhabit the plains just outside Johannesburg. Known locally as gestreepte fokkers, the locals are sick of the Tigers riding boats, giving sage advice to young children and calling everything Grrrrrreat! As such, a hefty reward has been offered for their culling, with a minimum of $20,000 on offer for every Tiger slain.


Pictured: A noble beast that would look far better filled with holes

Only hunters involved in advanced sessions will be given the chance to pop a cap in a Tiger's ass. However, those of you with poor hunting abilities are encouraged to participate anyway, as there will be ample opportunity for you to brush up on your animal murdering skills once you're out there.

For the duration of July 29th, all hunting parties will be accompanied by local volunteer sharpshooters in a bid to speed up the learning process. It is expected that hunting skills will be acquired five times quicker thanks to their presence, meaning even the most cockhanded gun-berk cannot fail to bag themselves a kill or twelve.

So if you'd like to slaughter some of God's great creatures this coming Sunday you'd be well advised to grab the Tiger by its tail; or better yet, pump its stupid stripey face full of lead. Because while the Tigers will now be a permanent fixture on the hunting scene, the chance to earn five times the amount of hunting XP will only happen once a year.


Pictured: A classy piece of furniture


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