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Daily visitors close to 23,000 for first time in over four years. Authorities announce special measures to celebrate World Population Day on July 11th.
On the 1st of June 2018 Torn recorded its highest active population for nearly five years, with 22,965 individual people having roamed our city's streets that day in search of duels, drugs and delicious treats. The last time Torn was this busy was back on the 28th of October 2013, when 23,094 despicable souls paid a visit to this moral and actual wasteland. I am reliably informed that this was the same date on which Romanian protestors marched in objection to a Canadian mining venture, some Colombian people raced in homemade cars, and the former Prime Minister of Poland died.
Since that momentous day, Torn's active population has mirrored the collective buttocks of Earth women, having inflated steadily over the past few years and showing no sign of stopping. Official figures report that our headcount has risen by almost exactly 50% since November 2015, and with the number of visitors and residents predicted to increase even further, some people may be wondering what, if anything, should be done in response to this swarm of eager newcomers.
Pictured: A group of angry people telling football what to do.
For London, New York or Berlin such a dramatic population increase would pose a problem, as a nervous citizenry primed to lash out at a tidal wave of interlopers out of fear they would take their jobs, grope their sons or force them to perform a morally degrading traditional dance which goes against everything their culture stands for.
In Torn, there are no such concerns; jobs are plentiful, we have no culture of which to speak, and our sons are so desperate to be groped they often masquerade as the opposite sex. Here, a growing population is something to be welcomed, as the extra revenue brought in by migrants allows us to improve our city much quicker, with developments previously reported as "coming soon" now said to be "arriving imminently".
Newcomers also provide rich pickings for our city's muggers, as recent arrivals often naively wander around with cash sitting in their wallets just waiting to be lifted. But on the 11th of July, one would do well to avoid pilfering the pockets of others, as in celebration of our city's recent popularity, the Torn City Council has announced that a special bonus will be on offer to those able to resist the urge to rob or hospitalise their fellow citizens.
Pictured: A citizen so pleased with his purchase of a brand new knife he just can't wait to show off how shiny it is.
In other nations, July 11th marks World Population Day, an event which seeks to raise awareness of the threats posed by our planet's increasing number of human beings. But while everyone else is busy fretting over birth rates and the diminishing availability of food supplies, Torn has decided to go against the grain and promote overpopulation by encouraging a sustainable form of violence - leaving people on the street.
From midnight July 10th through to 23:59 on July 11th, Torn citizens are encouraged, as ever, to beat each other into a bloody pulp with wanton abandon. However, come the final attacking screen, you are advised to avoid hospitalising or mugging you opponent, as leaving your victims on the street will garner you three times as much experience as it previously would.
This temporary boost will be of most use to those who are looking to level up quickly, as allowing your opponent to take an impromptu rest on the pavement or sidewalk is known to provide the most experience out of all of the final attacking options. And with this value soon to be multiplied by three for the duration of July 11th, one imagines that come Wednesday, Torn's streets may begin to resemble an outtake from a Radiohead video.
Happy July 11th everyone!
Since that momentous day, Torn's active population has mirrored the collective buttocks of Earth women, having inflated steadily over the past few years and showing no sign of stopping. Official figures report that our headcount has risen by almost exactly 50% since November 2015, and with the number of visitors and residents predicted to increase even further, some people may be wondering what, if anything, should be done in response to this swarm of eager newcomers.
Pictured: A group of angry people telling football what to do.
For London, New York or Berlin such a dramatic population increase would pose a problem, as a nervous citizenry primed to lash out at a tidal wave of interlopers out of fear they would take their jobs, grope their sons or force them to perform a morally degrading traditional dance which goes against everything their culture stands for.
In Torn, there are no such concerns; jobs are plentiful, we have no culture of which to speak, and our sons are so desperate to be groped they often masquerade as the opposite sex. Here, a growing population is something to be welcomed, as the extra revenue brought in by migrants allows us to improve our city much quicker, with developments previously reported as "coming soon" now said to be "arriving imminently".
Newcomers also provide rich pickings for our city's muggers, as recent arrivals often naively wander around with cash sitting in their wallets just waiting to be lifted. But on the 11th of July, one would do well to avoid pilfering the pockets of others, as in celebration of our city's recent popularity, the Torn City Council has announced that a special bonus will be on offer to those able to resist the urge to rob or hospitalise their fellow citizens.
Pictured: A citizen so pleased with his purchase of a brand new knife he just can't wait to show off how shiny it is.
In other nations, July 11th marks World Population Day, an event which seeks to raise awareness of the threats posed by our planet's increasing number of human beings. But while everyone else is busy fretting over birth rates and the diminishing availability of food supplies, Torn has decided to go against the grain and promote overpopulation by encouraging a sustainable form of violence - leaving people on the street.
From midnight July 10th through to 23:59 on July 11th, Torn citizens are encouraged, as ever, to beat each other into a bloody pulp with wanton abandon. However, come the final attacking screen, you are advised to avoid hospitalising or mugging you opponent, as leaving your victims on the street will garner you three times as much experience as it previously would.
This temporary boost will be of most use to those who are looking to level up quickly, as allowing your opponent to take an impromptu rest on the pavement or sidewalk is known to provide the most experience out of all of the final attacking options. And with this value soon to be multiplied by three for the duration of July 11th, one imagines that come Wednesday, Torn's streets may begin to resemble an outtake from a Radiohead video.
Happy July 11th everyone!
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