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Duke Cancels Billions in Loans

sugarvalves [1963573]
Loan shark reduced to 'horrible tears' by quality of entries into recent talent competition. Loan reductions offered to all singing participants.
Duke Calabrese has agreed to write off loans worth over several billion dollars today, as the winners of his Torn's Got Talent competition were finally announced via the Community Events forum.

On the 1st of October, Duke declared he would wipe the debts of three of his loan clients, and that these lucky individuals would be chosen via a talent contest. Entrants were asked to submit a song, rhyme or rap of no less than thirty seconds long, with the lyrics used to explain the reasons why Duke should take pity on their plight.



Sadly, most people in Torn seem unable to read, as the vast majority of entrants failed to provide a song to accompany their lyrics. Those people will now surely be angry at themselves, though, since Duke has now decided to apply loan reductionstor EVERYONE who entered a vocal performance into this contest, so impressed was Don Calabrese at the level of commitment shown by the Torn public.

"I ain't never expect people to embaras themselfs so much just for a bit of cash heh. I kinda feel bad now, so I gona pay off a bunch of them loans so I look like a real stand up guy."

The following players will now have a maximum of $100million removed from their outstanding loan amounts in recognition of their efforts:

-Mr-Dynomite-, Smokey123, JustJanet, Dougstamper, BlackKey1874, Josephine, Cupcake_H3RO, SakiSweet, Enigma. Chit, Kata, Shinsengumi, Prolapsdjudgmnt, Judgment, John_Wick, Decadria, Morbid-pinky, Valo, -gunz-, KatyPatra.


The following four players will each receive the bronze award and a total of $250million off their debts to Duke.

Reddit for Duke The Shark

Drizella for This Untitled Song

Chesapeak for This Entry

BanditMuseSn00p for a rap called Torn Song About Duke Loans



Silver awards will be given out to just two players, with these entrants set to receive a discount of $500million from their total loan amounts.

Bagel for Cancel My Loan

Proph for an original song called Loans Loans Loans



And finally, five players were deemed so good that they each had to be given a gold award, in addition to a 100% cancellation of their loans.

Auriel for My Spleen / Somebody That I Used To Owe

Ser for I Owe Him One

Estelle for a cover of Somebody To Love

Ampueromine for I Take A Little Loan Out From Duke

CatHead for You Beat Me Up or Duke


Following the success of this contest, I can exclusively reveal that The Duke plans to begin another audio based competition starting from tomorrow. This event will be Halloween themed, and although singing won't be necessary on this occasion, you will still be required to demonstrate some kind of vocal ability if you are to secure a prize.

But if you can't wait until then, why not head on over to the Community Events forum now, where you'll find sorts of Halloween competitions involving memes, photoshop and even a best dressed pet event waiting for you to display your distinctly average talents.


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