sugarvalves [1963573] —
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Buff to director trains applied this Friday. Job points bonus also in effect. Unnecessarily convoluted explanation given in article to pad word count.
Are you a frustrated director of a failing company stocked to the brim with inadequate employees? Then give your staff a kick up the proverbial this Friday, by working them three times as hard in celebration of Employee Appreciation Day.
Employee Appreciation Day takes place on the first Friday of March every year. In most nations it is used as an excuse to reward employees for all of their hard work throughout the year. But not in Torn. Here, our companies celebrate Employee Appreciation Day by training their staff three times harder. You know, like slaves, except worse.
That is why on Friday the 1st of March, all of your director trains will be three times as effective as they usually are. If, for example, a typical train would gain an employee ten extra intelligence points, then on Friday they will receive thirty intelligence points for the same amount of training. And if you really needed that explanation to understand a concept as basic as multiplication, then you may wish to consider adding more points to your real-life intelligence score, you blithering idiot.
But that's not all. Because in addition to the extra bonuses given from trains, all of our city's employees will also benefit from a threefold increase in the number of job points you receive too. Are you scheduled to take home eight job points this Friday from your job mopping up slime at an adult store? Congratulations, you'll now get... erm... hold on... times three carry the eight... square of the hypotenuse... over twelve... minus x... twenty four!
Pictured: Maths, with an S.
Employee Appreciation Day represents a great opportunity for our city's most dim-witted and idle to temporarily feel the warm glow of achievement felt by those of us who aren't failures. Sadly, if you are an employee in one of Torn's six starter industries, you won't be able to make use of the day's training bonus unless you quit and get a better job - the job points bonus will still apply.
However, if you are already employed by one of Torn's companies, you might want to pester your boss to prioritise your training on this particular day. Alternatively, if you are the director of a company, you may wish to charge your employees a premium to be trained on this day. After all, competition breeds success, and what harm could possibly come from setting your employees against each other to compete for your love?
Another way you may wish to make money from Employee Appreciation Day is by selling free spots in your company to unemployed losers who would happily pay for a day of triple training. If you don't have any free spots, consider firing your existing employees temporarily, before rehiring them a day later after their tears have started to dry. Of course, to do this your employees must have been with your firm for three days or more. Did you remember that Employee Appreciation Day was coming up soon? I bet you didn't.
There are many ways to make use of Employee Appreciation Day if you are clever enough. And if not, this is the perfect opportunity to address your failings! Employee Appreciation Day will take place from 00:00 on Friday the 1st of March and will end after precisely 24 hours. The tl;dr for the lazy bastards of the forums is that all director trains and job points pay out triple.
Employee Appreciation Day takes place on the first Friday of March every year. In most nations it is used as an excuse to reward employees for all of their hard work throughout the year. But not in Torn. Here, our companies celebrate Employee Appreciation Day by training their staff three times harder. You know, like slaves, except worse.
That is why on Friday the 1st of March, all of your director trains will be three times as effective as they usually are. If, for example, a typical train would gain an employee ten extra intelligence points, then on Friday they will receive thirty intelligence points for the same amount of training. And if you really needed that explanation to understand a concept as basic as multiplication, then you may wish to consider adding more points to your real-life intelligence score, you blithering idiot.
But that's not all. Because in addition to the extra bonuses given from trains, all of our city's employees will also benefit from a threefold increase in the number of job points you receive too. Are you scheduled to take home eight job points this Friday from your job mopping up slime at an adult store? Congratulations, you'll now get... erm... hold on... times three carry the eight... square of the hypotenuse... over twelve... minus x... twenty four!
Pictured: Maths, with an S.
Employee Appreciation Day represents a great opportunity for our city's most dim-witted and idle to temporarily feel the warm glow of achievement felt by those of us who aren't failures. Sadly, if you are an employee in one of Torn's six starter industries, you won't be able to make use of the day's training bonus unless you quit and get a better job - the job points bonus will still apply.
However, if you are already employed by one of Torn's companies, you might want to pester your boss to prioritise your training on this particular day. Alternatively, if you are the director of a company, you may wish to charge your employees a premium to be trained on this day. After all, competition breeds success, and what harm could possibly come from setting your employees against each other to compete for your love?
Another way you may wish to make money from Employee Appreciation Day is by selling free spots in your company to unemployed losers who would happily pay for a day of triple training. If you don't have any free spots, consider firing your existing employees temporarily, before rehiring them a day later after their tears have started to dry. Of course, to do this your employees must have been with your firm for three days or more. Did you remember that Employee Appreciation Day was coming up soon? I bet you didn't.
There are many ways to make use of Employee Appreciation Day if you are clever enough. And if not, this is the perfect opportunity to address your failings! Employee Appreciation Day will take place from 00:00 on Friday the 1st of March and will end after precisely 24 hours. The tl;dr for the lazy bastards of the forums is that all director trains and job points pay out triple.
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