Bainz [2101476] —
Original article
Dirty Bomb detonated after Insurgency storm through Torn United Nations' territories with ease. Raiding attempt against Chain Reaction fails.
After the foreplay that was the Valentine's Day massacre, the real war has finally begun with a full on territorial battle between Insurgency and Torn United Nations having broken out on Wednesday last week. A formal declaration of war was made by Alexstrasza via a post entitled "The Dawn of a New Era", and as is often the case with these threads, what started out as a collection of lovable penguin memes and witty banter has now devolved into whatever this is.
Then, within the past hour, Evil-Duck finally launched a Dirty Bomb of his very own, as he followed through on his threat to assault Relentless with a nuclear device he actually owned for once - albeit one that was likely financed in its entirety by Torn United Nations.
Pictured: The brown horse is Evil-Duck.
The Insurgency began the war by leaping west to attack PT-Penguins. While the battle raged slowly at first, it soon became a hotly contested scrap over a failing set of defensive walls. JFK and MnC adjusted their map placement, and in response PT executed a cunning counter play, declaring war on their own allies to block the Insurgency assault on their west wing - a canny move which has ultimately done nothing to stop the forward progress of the Insurgency forces.
After the first set of walls fell, Insurgency stepped forward to engage Milk and Cookies, PT-Ironhearts and PT-Family once more. Milk and Cookies exited the island leaving JFK to protect the bridge alone. While Relentless has taken every wall they have assaulted - that we know of - Milk and Cookies did manage to temporarily retake an area in the form of PFF. They no longer hold PFF at the time of writing.
Pictured: Relentless cutting off the west side (red arrows), while MnC takes action to cut the assaulting limb (yellow arrow)
At the time of writing on Monday the 25th of February, complete and utter capitulation from the TUN factions seems inevitable. According to the Insurgency battle plans sent to me by Hank, the alliance is well on its way to achieving the goals it set out to achieve, with an eleven-faction front having stormed to the coast in a matter of days. Hank describes the action thus far below.
"PT-Iron Hearts volunteered themselves to Sector 7 after being reduced to a handful of territories. PT-Penguins, PT-Calculated PT-Family and Milk and Cookies are all on the verge of being removed from Sector 1 and sent to Sector 7. JFK 2.1 are not offering much resistance with the battle front in the west moved to the maiden assault on JFK."
"Chain Reaction continues to make good in rounds onto the island, and now hold the east bridge. Mentos and Cola are taking advantage of high respect territories and are assaulting Wolf Pack Next Generation in the east. Unrelenting in the north is defending assaults from PT-Iron Hearts and PT-Calculated."
At midday today JFK and JFK 2.1 were engaged in a battle with FTW and Relentless over three territories to the north of the west bridge. The real action continued to happen north of the east bridge, though, with no fewer than nine territories contested in this region at the time. Relentless are currently dominating the area around City Hall, with 39th Street Killers occupying their northern flank in a move which seems to confirm rumours that they have indeed joined the Insurgency alliance - rumours that CR's Proxima has fully denied.
Proxima did confirm that Wolf Pack and One Punch are allied with the Insurgency, and praised both for their efforts so far. However, our insider in Milk and Cookies says that MnC members have definitely received threatening messages from 39th Street members, but given that this is Torn City, such correspondence could've been sent for any number of reasons.
Pictured: I don't know how an aubergine would even fit there?
So why have Torn United Nations fallen apart so quickly? Even their newly-announced allies in Warbirds seem to be having second thoughts about their decision to join the fray. One reason seems to be a lack of leadership in the PT ranks, as a mole inside the family explains below:
"The_Dave, Hotshot, Legaci, and others aren't even true leaders in Calculated or IronHearts anymore; however, they're still holding faction leadership roles due to the inactivity of the 'real' leaders in PT. They have no true decision-making powers but are expected to handle daily duties while the real 'leaders' twiddle their thumbs."
"All of PT is about to be sector 7'd but leaders aren't even around - what can that be said about the inner workings of PT leadership? I feel bad for the members because they're being used - just how other ex-PT members have stated that PT has used their members in the past for self-profit. Shoot, look at Unrelenting - their faction has a ton of ex-PT in it."
A damning assessment for sure. An MnC mole - one of many leakers from TUN's side - told Sugarvalves how the current situation for his faction unfolded after MnC rushed in to help PT, but they soon found themselves surrounded by Relentless. JFK 2.1 then assaulted the JAF territory which their MnC allies were holding in a bid to prevent them being further encircled.
Nearby, Milk and Cookies and Relentless are fighting directly for UFF and ERC, while also contesting EFF against PT-Penguins. PT-Penguins themselves are in a fight for XFF against Subversive Alliance, who are also trying to take VQC from PT-Family. Further south, PT-Penguins are looking to take WFF from One Punch, and seem to be moving into LEF held by PT-Family in another tactical move.
My MnC insider tells me that Chain Reaction's plan seems to involve putting their all into the island and connecting bridge, keeping JFK 2.1 and MnC busy while rotating between CR, SA and FTW at the front. JFA were defending YPF against Chain Reaction at lunchtime today, and our MnC mole admits this tactic seems to have brought the Insurgency a great deal of luck so far.
When I asked JFA's Stretch about the conflict and his side's fortunes he was in surprisingly good spirits, though, describing it as a ton of fun and a respectful war full of good conversations. Well I'll be damned! What a good sport.
"Meeting a ton of people from across other factions who I may not have talked to before. Makes for a fun experience. JFA, we are having a lot of fun, banging heads, playing whackamole both giving and receiving with all these wall assaults. Sure beats constantly training or these idiotic farm walls. We spent all this time training for these types of things, being able to go bang heads against others in the game. CR have been stalwarts being the spear's tip this entire time."
While TUN are taking their string of catastrophic defeats on the chin right now, one can't help but wonder if a brutal counter-punch is coming Insurgency's way. TUN have already tried to unsettle Insurgency by hitting Chain Reaction with a seven-faction raid courtesy of Mentos and Cola, Milk and Cookies, JFA, JFK, JFK 2.1, PT-Family and PT-Penguins, marking the most significant use of the new feature since its recent introduction.
The two raids started by the PT factions were shut down by Chain Reaction quickly, and while PT-Family managed to take 14,688.4 respect from CR, they responded by taking 17,812.9 themselves. Elsewhere, PT-Penguins took 523.8 respect - not bad for a retirement home - while Chain Reaction hit them for 936.87 respect. At the time, Chain Reaction had lost roughly 68,418 respect from the additional five walls while removing roughly 30,382 from their various assailants.
Pictured: Chain Reaction's state as of 1pm TCT on Monday.
Some claim these raids are an indication of TUN's recognition that they can't hold the walls from Relentless, and they have elected to destroy Chain Reaction's respect in an attempt to demoralize the faction. When asked for comment on the raids, Chain Reaction leader MeanMike echoed the sentiments of Relentless leader Hank by describing them as laughable.
"They wanted to break our spirits and demoralize us by having every group raid us, but it backfired because we plowed right through their terrs anyway and we are more pumped up than ever. All those 'great minds' over there with so much 'war experience' and this complete waste of E was the best they could come up with... they deserve to lose."
In a further interview with Sugarvalves, Mike said that the current war was going better than they thought it would, and while their enemies seemingly begged them to start off this war, they weren't anywhere close to being ready for what was about to happen.
"We knew they were in big trouble when they pulled the masterful strategic move of having all TUN factions raid CR, lol, That kind of salty move only comes when you know your ass is grass. I must say though that JFA and JFA 2.0 are seriously bringing it... we feel bad for them. if the rest of their 'team' fought like they are, this would be a much different story."
"This will last as long as it takes them to realize resistance is futile and to get the hell out of our way. With all the junk they talked, they will probably feel like they have to save face and fight to the bitter end, but they are merely delaying the inevitable."
Pictured: The most significant recent raids.
Given that their raids have failed to have the desired effect, many have wondered whether TUN may resort to yet another Dirty Bomb attack on their rivals in the Insurgency. Blame for each of the recent DB attacks against Insurgency members have been placed firmly at the feet of Torn United Nations, who have been accused of using proxies or patsy's to do their dirty work - an accusation which has been vehemently denied by its leadership.
However, my MnC insider claims to have evidence of a secret agreement between the rival alliances that no dirty bombs will be used in this current war. When confronted with this rumour, Insurgency spokesturtle Hank responded as follows:
"There is no dirty bomb agreement in place. JFx didn't want one as they cannot control their members actions."
One agreement reportedly in place according to WALL_ST is that Subversive Alliance, Chain Reaction and Relentless have agreed to move We Are Rising to sector one if their campaign is successful. This reward is intended to make up for what happened during the war SA, WAR and One Punch fought against Mentos n Cola.
But while the fighting continues between the allied factions of Insurgency and Torn United Nations, others have chimed into the forums claiming they have plans to stir things up. It seems some members of Torn are not amused with the current war. TMB went as far as announcing that they would enter the war, claiming they would bring a Dirty Bomb with them too.
Of course, this boy has cried wolf before. But on this occasion, it seems that Evil-Duck may not be bluffing.
Pictured: The Dirty Bomb Evil-Duck borrowed from someone with more money than him.
"I OFFERED ALEX AND RELENTLESS A CHANCE TO AVOID THE BOMB - 25B / GOLD AK / DB ALONG WITH A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO TMB IN FORUMS. ALEXSTRASZA TOOK IT TO THE RELENTLESS COUNCIL AND CAME BACK SAYING IT WAS TOO MUCH. THEN OFFERED TMB PROTECTION AND TO JOIN INSURGENCY. WHEN I DECLINED AND SAID BOMB IT SHE CALLED ME S*****C AND BLOCKED ME HERE AND ON DISCORD."
"I'VE HAD FEW OTHER OFFERS FROM R MEMBERS, BEST BEING 10B TO BOMB ANOTHER FAC WHICH I SWIFTLY DECLINED AND TOLD HIM TO **** OFF."
ED claimed a list of seven grievances against Relentless and Alexstrasza as the reasons for his Dirty Bomb threat. Sadly, none of them were interesting enough to publish. Then, in a shock move, he launched a nuke against Relentless early on Monday evening. But this latest development leaves many wondering what TUN and Insurgency plan to do with their own dirty bombs. This latest strike against the Insurgency will surely be seen as yet another TUN proxy strike. Can the situation really be called a cold war now that four nukes have already burnt half our city to a crisp?
Pictured: The lukewarm war doesn't really have the same ring to it.
It remains to be seen whether TUN will get into bed with Evil-Duck and The Mayhem Boiz again after this. An alternative and less undignified strategy may be to focus their attentions on Insurgency's revive factions. Rumours are abound that Four is currently schmoozing with smaller factions in an attempt to persuade them to attack Insurgency's revivers on behalf of TUN. Does this mean they're planning a revive-focused assault and have been conserving their energy so far? Are PT-Ironhearts really being held back, or is this a ploy to divert attention from their own back line of revivers?
It seems that PT-Calculated and JFA 2.0 were tasked with keeping Insurgency revivers out of the game during the recent battles. Unconfirmed rumours also state that PT-Calc was directed to reset merits into maxing hospital time so they could burn through the reviver's Medical CD as well. The question is what impact with that have on the revive efforts of Insurgency, will it justify the reset cost, and will this tactic leave JFK's own territories vulnerable to assault if it fails?
Pictured: JFK & JFK 2.1's Maginot Line
To answer that, we'll have to wait and see. The Torn City Times has been told that TUN have spent $23 billion on revives thus far, whereas Insurgency have only dropped $11 billion on healing services. Can TUN keep up this level of spending? Are these figures even accurate? It is important to realize that there is no way of knowing how many factions are truly being revived, and under what conditions, on each side.
For example, a "revive all online" contract will generate larger numbers of revives but does not guarantee that the people being revived are able to participate. If people do not turn off their revives once they are out of energy, or if a contract participant goes rogue and revives offline players, the alliance would bleed money for little benefit.
When properly monitored, the true winners of the contracts are both the dedicated revivers - giving up sleep and pulling long hours to track down their revives - and the contract sponsor, who has their top people kept on the wall. Without revivers, this war would be a lot less interesting. Revivers are therefore the real heroes of this war so far. And I for one hope they are not taken advantage of by their masters if and when things turn ugly.
Thank you to all of the contributors who made this article possible. If you have more information on the war over the next few days please contact Bainz or Sugarvalves to share your secrets. In the meantime, feel free to occupy yourself with the perpetual saline solution that is the forums.
All war articles are reviewed by members of both alliances in addition to neutral parties. While this does not guarantee misinformation will not be spread, it is our best option for attempting to limit it.
Then, within the past hour, Evil-Duck finally launched a Dirty Bomb of his very own, as he followed through on his threat to assault Relentless with a nuclear device he actually owned for once - albeit one that was likely financed in its entirety by Torn United Nations.
Pictured: The brown horse is Evil-Duck.
The Insurgency began the war by leaping west to attack PT-Penguins. While the battle raged slowly at first, it soon became a hotly contested scrap over a failing set of defensive walls. JFK and MnC adjusted their map placement, and in response PT executed a cunning counter play, declaring war on their own allies to block the Insurgency assault on their west wing - a canny move which has ultimately done nothing to stop the forward progress of the Insurgency forces.
After the first set of walls fell, Insurgency stepped forward to engage Milk and Cookies, PT-Ironhearts and PT-Family once more. Milk and Cookies exited the island leaving JFK to protect the bridge alone. While Relentless has taken every wall they have assaulted - that we know of - Milk and Cookies did manage to temporarily retake an area in the form of PFF. They no longer hold PFF at the time of writing.
Pictured: Relentless cutting off the west side (red arrows), while MnC takes action to cut the assaulting limb (yellow arrow)
At the time of writing on Monday the 25th of February, complete and utter capitulation from the TUN factions seems inevitable. According to the Insurgency battle plans sent to me by Hank, the alliance is well on its way to achieving the goals it set out to achieve, with an eleven-faction front having stormed to the coast in a matter of days. Hank describes the action thus far below.
"PT-Iron Hearts volunteered themselves to Sector 7 after being reduced to a handful of territories. PT-Penguins, PT-Calculated PT-Family and Milk and Cookies are all on the verge of being removed from Sector 1 and sent to Sector 7. JFK 2.1 are not offering much resistance with the battle front in the west moved to the maiden assault on JFK."
"Chain Reaction continues to make good in rounds onto the island, and now hold the east bridge. Mentos and Cola are taking advantage of high respect territories and are assaulting Wolf Pack Next Generation in the east. Unrelenting in the north is defending assaults from PT-Iron Hearts and PT-Calculated."
At midday today JFK and JFK 2.1 were engaged in a battle with FTW and Relentless over three territories to the north of the west bridge. The real action continued to happen north of the east bridge, though, with no fewer than nine territories contested in this region at the time. Relentless are currently dominating the area around City Hall, with 39th Street Killers occupying their northern flank in a move which seems to confirm rumours that they have indeed joined the Insurgency alliance - rumours that CR's Proxima has fully denied.
Proxima did confirm that Wolf Pack and One Punch are allied with the Insurgency, and praised both for their efforts so far. However, our insider in Milk and Cookies says that MnC members have definitely received threatening messages from 39th Street members, but given that this is Torn City, such correspondence could've been sent for any number of reasons.
Pictured: I don't know how an aubergine would even fit there?
So why have Torn United Nations fallen apart so quickly? Even their newly-announced allies in Warbirds seem to be having second thoughts about their decision to join the fray. One reason seems to be a lack of leadership in the PT ranks, as a mole inside the family explains below:
"The_Dave, Hotshot, Legaci, and others aren't even true leaders in Calculated or IronHearts anymore; however, they're still holding faction leadership roles due to the inactivity of the 'real' leaders in PT. They have no true decision-making powers but are expected to handle daily duties while the real 'leaders' twiddle their thumbs."
"All of PT is about to be sector 7'd but leaders aren't even around - what can that be said about the inner workings of PT leadership? I feel bad for the members because they're being used - just how other ex-PT members have stated that PT has used their members in the past for self-profit. Shoot, look at Unrelenting - their faction has a ton of ex-PT in it."
A damning assessment for sure. An MnC mole - one of many leakers from TUN's side - told Sugarvalves how the current situation for his faction unfolded after MnC rushed in to help PT, but they soon found themselves surrounded by Relentless. JFK 2.1 then assaulted the JAF territory which their MnC allies were holding in a bid to prevent them being further encircled.
Nearby, Milk and Cookies and Relentless are fighting directly for UFF and ERC, while also contesting EFF against PT-Penguins. PT-Penguins themselves are in a fight for XFF against Subversive Alliance, who are also trying to take VQC from PT-Family. Further south, PT-Penguins are looking to take WFF from One Punch, and seem to be moving into LEF held by PT-Family in another tactical move.
My MnC insider tells me that Chain Reaction's plan seems to involve putting their all into the island and connecting bridge, keeping JFK 2.1 and MnC busy while rotating between CR, SA and FTW at the front. JFA were defending YPF against Chain Reaction at lunchtime today, and our MnC mole admits this tactic seems to have brought the Insurgency a great deal of luck so far.
When I asked JFA's Stretch about the conflict and his side's fortunes he was in surprisingly good spirits, though, describing it as a ton of fun and a respectful war full of good conversations. Well I'll be damned! What a good sport.
"Meeting a ton of people from across other factions who I may not have talked to before. Makes for a fun experience. JFA, we are having a lot of fun, banging heads, playing whackamole both giving and receiving with all these wall assaults. Sure beats constantly training or these idiotic farm walls. We spent all this time training for these types of things, being able to go bang heads against others in the game. CR have been stalwarts being the spear's tip this entire time."
While TUN are taking their string of catastrophic defeats on the chin right now, one can't help but wonder if a brutal counter-punch is coming Insurgency's way. TUN have already tried to unsettle Insurgency by hitting Chain Reaction with a seven-faction raid courtesy of Mentos and Cola, Milk and Cookies, JFA, JFK, JFK 2.1, PT-Family and PT-Penguins, marking the most significant use of the new feature since its recent introduction.
The two raids started by the PT factions were shut down by Chain Reaction quickly, and while PT-Family managed to take 14,688.4 respect from CR, they responded by taking 17,812.9 themselves. Elsewhere, PT-Penguins took 523.8 respect - not bad for a retirement home - while Chain Reaction hit them for 936.87 respect. At the time, Chain Reaction had lost roughly 68,418 respect from the additional five walls while removing roughly 30,382 from their various assailants.
Pictured: Chain Reaction's state as of 1pm TCT on Monday.
Some claim these raids are an indication of TUN's recognition that they can't hold the walls from Relentless, and they have elected to destroy Chain Reaction's respect in an attempt to demoralize the faction. When asked for comment on the raids, Chain Reaction leader MeanMike echoed the sentiments of Relentless leader Hank by describing them as laughable.
"They wanted to break our spirits and demoralize us by having every group raid us, but it backfired because we plowed right through their terrs anyway and we are more pumped up than ever. All those 'great minds' over there with so much 'war experience' and this complete waste of E was the best they could come up with... they deserve to lose."
In a further interview with Sugarvalves, Mike said that the current war was going better than they thought it would, and while their enemies seemingly begged them to start off this war, they weren't anywhere close to being ready for what was about to happen.
"We knew they were in big trouble when they pulled the masterful strategic move of having all TUN factions raid CR, lol, That kind of salty move only comes when you know your ass is grass. I must say though that JFA and JFA 2.0 are seriously bringing it... we feel bad for them. if the rest of their 'team' fought like they are, this would be a much different story."
"This will last as long as it takes them to realize resistance is futile and to get the hell out of our way. With all the junk they talked, they will probably feel like they have to save face and fight to the bitter end, but they are merely delaying the inevitable."
Pictured: The most significant recent raids.
Given that their raids have failed to have the desired effect, many have wondered whether TUN may resort to yet another Dirty Bomb attack on their rivals in the Insurgency. Blame for each of the recent DB attacks against Insurgency members have been placed firmly at the feet of Torn United Nations, who have been accused of using proxies or patsy's to do their dirty work - an accusation which has been vehemently denied by its leadership.
However, my MnC insider claims to have evidence of a secret agreement between the rival alliances that no dirty bombs will be used in this current war. When confronted with this rumour, Insurgency spokesturtle Hank responded as follows:
"There is no dirty bomb agreement in place. JFx didn't want one as they cannot control their members actions."
One agreement reportedly in place according to WALL_ST is that Subversive Alliance, Chain Reaction and Relentless have agreed to move We Are Rising to sector one if their campaign is successful. This reward is intended to make up for what happened during the war SA, WAR and One Punch fought against Mentos n Cola.
But while the fighting continues between the allied factions of Insurgency and Torn United Nations, others have chimed into the forums claiming they have plans to stir things up. It seems some members of Torn are not amused with the current war. TMB went as far as announcing that they would enter the war, claiming they would bring a Dirty Bomb with them too.
Of course, this boy has cried wolf before. But on this occasion, it seems that Evil-Duck may not be bluffing.
Pictured: The Dirty Bomb Evil-Duck borrowed from someone with more money than him.
"I OFFERED ALEX AND RELENTLESS A CHANCE TO AVOID THE BOMB - 25B / GOLD AK / DB ALONG WITH A PUBLIC APOLOGY TO TMB IN FORUMS. ALEXSTRASZA TOOK IT TO THE RELENTLESS COUNCIL AND CAME BACK SAYING IT WAS TOO MUCH. THEN OFFERED TMB PROTECTION AND TO JOIN INSURGENCY. WHEN I DECLINED AND SAID BOMB IT SHE CALLED ME S*****C AND BLOCKED ME HERE AND ON DISCORD."
"I'VE HAD FEW OTHER OFFERS FROM R MEMBERS, BEST BEING 10B TO BOMB ANOTHER FAC WHICH I SWIFTLY DECLINED AND TOLD HIM TO **** OFF."
ED claimed a list of seven grievances against Relentless and Alexstrasza as the reasons for his Dirty Bomb threat. Sadly, none of them were interesting enough to publish. Then, in a shock move, he launched a nuke against Relentless early on Monday evening. But this latest development leaves many wondering what TUN and Insurgency plan to do with their own dirty bombs. This latest strike against the Insurgency will surely be seen as yet another TUN proxy strike. Can the situation really be called a cold war now that four nukes have already burnt half our city to a crisp?
Pictured: The lukewarm war doesn't really have the same ring to it.
It remains to be seen whether TUN will get into bed with Evil-Duck and The Mayhem Boiz again after this. An alternative and less undignified strategy may be to focus their attentions on Insurgency's revive factions. Rumours are abound that Four is currently schmoozing with smaller factions in an attempt to persuade them to attack Insurgency's revivers on behalf of TUN. Does this mean they're planning a revive-focused assault and have been conserving their energy so far? Are PT-Ironhearts really being held back, or is this a ploy to divert attention from their own back line of revivers?
It seems that PT-Calculated and JFA 2.0 were tasked with keeping Insurgency revivers out of the game during the recent battles. Unconfirmed rumours also state that PT-Calc was directed to reset merits into maxing hospital time so they could burn through the reviver's Medical CD as well. The question is what impact with that have on the revive efforts of Insurgency, will it justify the reset cost, and will this tactic leave JFK's own territories vulnerable to assault if it fails?
Pictured: JFK & JFK 2.1's Maginot Line
To answer that, we'll have to wait and see. The Torn City Times has been told that TUN have spent $23 billion on revives thus far, whereas Insurgency have only dropped $11 billion on healing services. Can TUN keep up this level of spending? Are these figures even accurate? It is important to realize that there is no way of knowing how many factions are truly being revived, and under what conditions, on each side.
For example, a "revive all online" contract will generate larger numbers of revives but does not guarantee that the people being revived are able to participate. If people do not turn off their revives once they are out of energy, or if a contract participant goes rogue and revives offline players, the alliance would bleed money for little benefit.
When properly monitored, the true winners of the contracts are both the dedicated revivers - giving up sleep and pulling long hours to track down their revives - and the contract sponsor, who has their top people kept on the wall. Without revivers, this war would be a lot less interesting. Revivers are therefore the real heroes of this war so far. And I for one hope they are not taken advantage of by their masters if and when things turn ugly.
Thank you to all of the contributors who made this article possible. If you have more information on the war over the next few days please contact Bainz or Sugarvalves to share your secrets. In the meantime, feel free to occupy yourself with the perpetual saline solution that is the forums.
All war articles are reviewed by members of both alliances in addition to neutral parties. While this does not guarantee misinformation will not be spread, it is our best option for attempting to limit it.
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