sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Casino croupier cropped, conned and crumpled in copycat crime. Laotian Spin The Wheel operator seen running down highway half-naked.
The operator of Torn Casino's popular Spin The Wheel game was seen crawling nude down the Torn City highway this morning, with the Laotian lothario Leslie Chanthavong suspected to be the victim of yet another mob assault against Torn's most beloved citizens. This attack is believed to have been the sixth inflicted on Chanthavong in the past 24 hours, with the throat-bothering casino employee known to have lost several possessions throughout the ordeal.
Pictured: Leslie, 59, GSOH, Aquarius.
Chanthavong, 59, was first targeted while shopping for "medications" at the pharmacy at around 2 pm Torn City Time on Tuesday. Eyewitnesses reported that numerous assailants seemed intent on looting the old man for his clothes and possessions - a police report filed later in the day revealed that the only item they managed to pilfer was a pocketful of beach sand. CCTV identified Proxima as the man who stole Leslie's sand, although what he plans to do with it remains a mystery.
Pictured: Proxima.
Leslie was released from the hospital four hours later, at which point he was immediately set upon by yet another group of feral bandits. Once more, an item was stolen from Leslie's possession - this time Fear was the culprit - and yet again, a handful of sand was all that was taken. The mob struck once more at 9 pm when Onomotopoeia managed to acquire, you guessed it, another pocketful of sand.
Two further attacks in the early hours of the morning also resulted in the acquisition of sand by citizens Gohan and PirateOni. At this point, the mob considered building itself an elaborate sandcastle, but negotiations stalled over whether or not the building should have a moat. Having abandoned their architectural dreams, this band of crazed goons attacked Leslie again at 9 am this morning, and finally, a non-sand item was taken, with Yukio becoming the proud owner of Leslie's string vest.
Pictured: Yukio.
Citizens may be disappointed with their pitiful haul of items so far, but the attack reports indicate greater loot may be yet to come. On several occasions, Chanthavong fought back against his attackers by spanking them with a riding crop. He was also seen sporting a pair of shiny black dress shoes and wielding Beretta Pico handgun.
However, the most eye-catching item seen on Leslie's person was a Nock Gun, a seven-barrelled monstrosity of a weapon which saw action during the Napoleonic wars. Check out this swole boy.
Pictured: Nock nock. Who's there? Death. Oh, do come in! Would you like a tea, coffee?
This series of attacks upon Chanthavong comes just over a month after Torn's loan shark The Duke was similarly relieved of his clothing and weaponry. That assault proved to be the beginning of a regular campaign against the rotund mafioso, with constant muggings occurring over the four weeks since. Reports indicate Mr Calabrese has so far lost three dusters, seven madballs, twelve pocket shotguns, thirty-eight pairs of trousers, forty-five fedoras, one-hundred and ninety-two nailbombs and one Rheinmetall machine-gun to his attackers.
Whether Mr Chanthavong will be subjected to the same fate is not yet known. However, given the strength of the public's feelings towards the Laotian and his notoriously weighted wheel game, it seems likely we'll see the old man's conkers more often than we'd like over the next few months.
And for those of you who are interested, Leslie is due out of the hospital at approximately 1.55 pm Torn City Time.
Pictured: Leslie, 59, GSOH, Aquarius.
Chanthavong, 59, was first targeted while shopping for "medications" at the pharmacy at around 2 pm Torn City Time on Tuesday. Eyewitnesses reported that numerous assailants seemed intent on looting the old man for his clothes and possessions - a police report filed later in the day revealed that the only item they managed to pilfer was a pocketful of beach sand. CCTV identified Proxima as the man who stole Leslie's sand, although what he plans to do with it remains a mystery.
Pictured: Proxima.
Leslie was released from the hospital four hours later, at which point he was immediately set upon by yet another group of feral bandits. Once more, an item was stolen from Leslie's possession - this time Fear was the culprit - and yet again, a handful of sand was all that was taken. The mob struck once more at 9 pm when Onomotopoeia managed to acquire, you guessed it, another pocketful of sand.
Two further attacks in the early hours of the morning also resulted in the acquisition of sand by citizens Gohan and PirateOni. At this point, the mob considered building itself an elaborate sandcastle, but negotiations stalled over whether or not the building should have a moat. Having abandoned their architectural dreams, this band of crazed goons attacked Leslie again at 9 am this morning, and finally, a non-sand item was taken, with Yukio becoming the proud owner of Leslie's string vest.
Pictured: Yukio.
Citizens may be disappointed with their pitiful haul of items so far, but the attack reports indicate greater loot may be yet to come. On several occasions, Chanthavong fought back against his attackers by spanking them with a riding crop. He was also seen sporting a pair of shiny black dress shoes and wielding Beretta Pico handgun.
However, the most eye-catching item seen on Leslie's person was a Nock Gun, a seven-barrelled monstrosity of a weapon which saw action during the Napoleonic wars. Check out this swole boy.
Pictured: Nock nock. Who's there? Death. Oh, do come in! Would you like a tea, coffee?
This series of attacks upon Chanthavong comes just over a month after Torn's loan shark The Duke was similarly relieved of his clothing and weaponry. That assault proved to be the beginning of a regular campaign against the rotund mafioso, with constant muggings occurring over the four weeks since. Reports indicate Mr Calabrese has so far lost three dusters, seven madballs, twelve pocket shotguns, thirty-eight pairs of trousers, forty-five fedoras, one-hundred and ninety-two nailbombs and one Rheinmetall machine-gun to his attackers.
Whether Mr Chanthavong will be subjected to the same fate is not yet known. However, given the strength of the public's feelings towards the Laotian and his notoriously weighted wheel game, it seems likely we'll see the old man's conkers more often than we'd like over the next few months.
And for those of you who are interested, Leslie is due out of the hospital at approximately 1.55 pm Torn City Time.
Original article
Comments
Post a Comment