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Torn Merch Store Opens

sugarvalves [1963573]
Would you like to feel Torn all over your body? Maybe you'd like to slurp liquids from Torn first thing in the morning? Then get your buns to the Redbubble store - Leslie's waiting.
Chedburn has announced that a range of official Torn merchandise is now available via our brand new RedBubble store. Everything from t-shirts and hoodies through to stickers and mugs can now be purchased online from the link below, with price margins on all items set to 0% to prevent the perpetually socialist Torn City from making any profit whatsoever - isn't that nice?

LOOK WHAT WE MADE FOR YOU



Pictured: Hate Couture.

When it comes to clothing, citizens can choose from a variety of designs in a range of different colours and styles, with pink vests, black pullovers and tight white t-shirts all available as options - please note that certain styles and premium garments may cost more, as will shipments to certain territories like Narnia, The Iron Islands and Bongo Bongo land.

The only non-customisable clothing item in the Torn merchandise range is this pair of Leslie Leggings, because why would you want to improve on perfection?


Pictured: Leslie's face being closer to your crotch than you ever hoped or dreamed.

In addition to clothes, the Torn RedBubble store also contains stickers and posters of various designs, as well as a set of mugs, each of which has been created personally for some of Torn's most notable players. For those of you who have been blessed with your own personal mug, please message Bogie with your address and we'll send it out to you as soon as humanly possible - no need to buy one. Send us your shirt size while you're at it too, just in case we're feeling generous.

The rest of you can buy a mug if you want, but it would be a bit weird. Actually, please do that. Do it now. And use Marlon's as your toilet mug. Everyone has a toilet mug, right? Also, before some of you get salty that we didn't make a mug for you, be aware that we have many more in production. The only reason some mugs have been made available before others is that we finalised their designs first - it is in no way a reflection of the players included or excluded from this list. If truth be told, we find you all equally forgettable.

Now that the merch store is open for business, we are able to add new items as and when we finish their designs - I s**t you not, a Leslie duvet is in the works and might be out later today. Feel free to add your mockups, comments and suggestions to the thread that Champion has inevitably opened on the subject, and we promise we'll consider possibly contemplating thinking about stealing your ideas if they aren't utterly s**t.

VISIT THE REDBUBBLE STORE TODAY! OR TOMORROW. UP TO YOU MATE


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