sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Find out who betrayed who, which leader offered $88 billion to another, and how the rest of Elimination might play out in our final Elimination round-up.
We are just hours away from finding out who (Lumberjacks) is going to win (Lumberjacks) the Elimination 2019 competition (it's the Lumberjacks). The favourite from the start has been the Lumberjacks, and with their former allies the Field Mice on the verge of being vanquished like the filthy vermin they are, it seems only a minor miracle can stop the check-shirted forest fondlers from claiming victory. But how did we get here? What happened to all the other good boys and girls who we spoke about last time around? And how desperate did some people get when their team was betrayed?
THE DREAM TURNS TO A NIGHTMARE
Last time we checked in the Cowboys were just about to check out. At the same time, Dream Team were also coming under heavy attack from the unholy threesome of Lumberjacks, Field Mice and Keyboard Warriors, so it seemed likely they would be the next side to fall. And so it proved to be.
Pictured: Dream's over, kids.
Dream Team have managed to survive for long periods without losing a life in this year’s event, despite spending almost their entire campaign with a three-figure ticket total - noon on September 14th was the only time they hit four-figures with 1,002. Indeed, DT were the first non-Revengers team to lose a life on the very first day of the competition, but they somehow managed to avoid shedding another until two dropped on the 15th.
Dream Team did a good job as part of the Breakfast in Bed alliance, but after removing the Cowboys from the competition their safety cushion was gone. Leader Swatsicle described their task as nigh on impossible when the entire enemy alliance targeted them on the 19th.
“Power and numbers played a major role. The tie-breaker was almost deterministic, and we fell behind KW in hits, which means it was an uphill battle.”
Their only chance of survival was to hope Keyboard Warriors didn't have any more chat-stealing scripts in operation, and that their own alliance could keep KW pinned below them. They managed this impressive feat on eight occasions over the next 24 hours, but alas, it wasn’t enough. Dream Team were eliminated at 8pm on the 20th. In hindsight, Swatsicle doesn’t seem to have many regrets about the way DT played the competition, aside from wishing that the other teams had grown a pair of big hairy man balls.
“During the entire competition, we have tried to set up an anti-LJ alliance based on the fact that they were so obviously dominant. Our proposals to teams fell on deaf ears on too many occasions, and people were too paranoid about each other to commit to this common goal.”
“Every time we got something rolling, there was fear, uncertainty and doubt. It could have been different, but either the other teams didn't care about a chance to win, or thought there was none to begin with.”
Dream Team made overtures to the Field Mice to try and tempt them away from the Lumberjacks’ side, but those hopeful rodents seemed happy with the second-place they had been promised. No last minute offers were made to Dream Team, and their elimination made the competition a rather unbalanced 3v2. Or so it would have, if the Breakfast Club hadn’t immediately crossed the floor to join Online Jacking, now known as Online Jacking Before Breakfast, which I have led to believe is a fabulous way to start the day.
TROLLS FOREVER ALONE
The Trolls were left fighting four other teams all by themselves on Friday, as with Breakfast Club having been enticed over to the rival alliance, their elimination seemed all but certain. More certain than the most certain curtain of certainty you ever did certainly see.
The Trolls put up a damn good fight though, and even managed to stay ahead of Breakfast Club for six straight eliminations between 1-6am, despite having no allies to back them up. They also took two more lives off them at 2pm and 3pm the following day, but it wasn’t enough, as a run of seventeen straight life losses saw these horrid little goblins eliminated from the competition.
According to the time stamp on the above image, it seems ItsZahid and Dream Team’s Swatsicle were both caught unaware by this move by Breakfast Club, as they only knew of this situation once Dream Team were eliminated, as ItsZahid reveals.
“When DT went out and we almost immediately realised BC were not with us, before the first tick after BT died... Switched targets to BC. Did okay for a bit but 4v1 was too hard to sustain.”
If they had anticipated what Breakfast Club were up to, perhaps they could’ve done something ahead of time. I was initially told that it was the Field Mice who were claiming responsibility for bringing Breakfast Club into the rival alliance in order to defeat the Trolls. However, when I put this claim to Muttley, the Breakfast Club leader denied that this was how it went down.
“The mice never contacted me directly, but I had people working on them for a while. Mike and I have been friends for years now so we talk daily, and it was no secret that we were on the chopping block next. So we made our move to live another day. When the trains rollin you better get on or get left behind.”
Muttley implied that the deal with Lumberjacks was only formalised at the last minute when Dream Team were about to exit the competition. A comment from KPCSlor of Dream Team also implied the same, as he says Breakfast Club were still working on eliminating Keyboard Warriors right up until the very end of that round. However, when I later spoke to Lumberjacks' MeanMike, he insisted it was indeed the Field Mice who organised Breakfast Club's introduction, not his side, and he didn't much like it at all.
"They [Field Mice] had a contact in leadership there and had set up the deal themselves... The only reason I could see for them to really want to handpick who went to 3 with us was so they could set up a 2-1 against us with them. It was common knowledge NOBODY wanted to take us on 1v1, because they couldn't beat us."
The ramifications of this belief will be explored shortly. But regardless of who tempted who, it seems Breakfast Club’s former allies weren't the only ones who were out of the loop on this one. According to BC's Xeyi, even some of their own high-ranked players were entirely unaware of their alliances throughout most of the competition, so there's no chance the rank and file would've known that a Lumberjacks partnership was on the cards - hence preventing an untimely leak.
“I've not really been in the loop on alliances, we agreed to prevent leaks that Leadership will only know who we're truly allied too. But that being said, we wouldn't be where we are right now without the efforts Leadership, Diplomats and Council have put into the team.”
This strategy seems to have worked well, as Breakfast Club's betrayal was only revealed once they started attacking their former allies. In response, Trolls leader ItsZahid offered a deal to the Field Mice, guaranteeing them first place if Trolls were kept in the competition, with a bond of $25 billion offered as a form of deposit. This deal would’ve looked more tempting if Dream Team were still around to back it up, but as the sole member of a one-team alliance, there was no way the Trolls were going to tempt anyone to get into bed with them. I mean, they live under a bridge for f**ks sake?
“We knew either FM or LJ would be getting teamed on after they killed us, turns out I was right. Anyways, offered them both deals for us to help them. Both refused thinking they had it all figured out, seems like LJ really did lol.”
But this wasn't the biggest offer ItsZahid made. Meanmike confirmed to me that "he [ItsZahid] offered me 88b worth of stocks as collateral to team back up with him and if he screwed us over, I got to keep them." But Mike never had any intention of accepting this deal, not even to screw ItsZahid over by stealing his stocks, which he admitted would've been funny. As you can see, by the fact that Mike says "woulda been funny though" below. Don't believe me? Here, looksie.
"Woulda been funny though, the way he totally ruined the alliance we put together .. but that's not my game play style. I don't approve of zahid trying to use his money, lies, and snakiness to try and win this comp. But I respect the fact that he really did try everything he could on his team's behalf. He made his play way too early, and that's what doomed the trolls, but he tried his ass off to recover from that error and ya have to respect that. He shoulda just stuck with the final 2 deal we made on day 1... we wouldn't have broken it."
That last comment is quite interesting. If Lumberjacks had a final two deal with Trolls, then that means they planned to screw over the Field Mice from day one too, as they also felt they were destined for the Elimination finalé. ItsZahid says he doesn't regret switching sides as he still feels it was "the perfect decision... something everyone now realises was the correct one." However, if he could have done something differently, he says he would've kept trying to convince Keyboard Warriors to switch early on.
"If KW switched so would Cowboys. Mice and LJ would have been long dead.
Would have waiting till I had them on board before switching, but would have end up switching regardless because to get #1, they had to go."
Trolls’ member Hulk agreed with ItsZahid’s sentiments, and he couldn’t fathom why the other sides had no ambition to bring down Lumberjacks. He feels Field Mice played LJ’s game and“got played”, and for that, they have now been punished. But with regards to his own leader, Hulk says he performed well, and he feels that this sentiment is shared among his fellow Trolls teammates.
“I'm a trolls member, and I've participated heavily in this competition to understand the politics that's involved and there is nothing wrong with that really... I'd like to mention that our leadership has been amazing and no matter how hard the times have been, they've been there… they do deserve a mention as every one of us (who are participating) know that they've done their best.”
The Trolls have indeed performed admirably, and that is part of the reason they were booted in favour of Breakfast Club, who are much weaker than the Trolls and Dream Team, who both made far more hits than everyone else in the Breakfast in Bed alliance. As the competition draws to a close, the Lumberjacks are understandably keen to surround themselves with soft cuddly playthings to avoid a difficult 2v1 situation with the final three beckoning. The Trolls were too tough to ever be a realistic part of that.
So with the Trolls out of the picture, there were four supposedly allied teams remaining in the competition, with Lumberjacks, Field Mice and Keyboard Warriors joined by Breakfast Club. Would it be a case of last in, first out? Or had another secret deal been struck?
FIELD MICE EXTERMINATED
Three blind mice, three blind mice, see how they run, see how they run. You’d have to be f**king blind if you didn’t see this situation coming. Having only just welcomed Breakfast Club into their alliance, it was the Field Mice who were betrayed late in the day by Lumberjacks and Keyboard Warriors, in a move which even Stevie Wonder saw with stark clarity.
At the time of writing the Field Mice have2 lives left one life left, meaning they'll be gone by 5pm Torn City Time in all likelihood. Proph, one of Field Mice's leaders, was in a defiant mood this morning though, as having just taken a life off Breakfast Club at 9am, he says they’ll keep fighting until the jig is up.
“It's never over until it's over. We have made no attempts to get either KW or BC back on our side other than to ask why they were selling out after it was revealed they had sided with LJs. We will keep fighting and trying to take lives off BC. We just took a life off them that crunchtime there and we will do our best to take 17 more before we are out.”
Intriguingly, while Proph hasn’t made any overtures towards Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors in an attempt to stem the tide, one of his teammates has, as the following screenshot demonstrates.
This offer has not been accepted as far as I know, and the result is that the Field Mice have had their little tails cut off constantly since noon yesterday, with Breakfast Club dropping below them on just two occasions at 7pm and 9am. Proph had no idea that Lumberjacks were going to betray them, as he felt that all three teams (LJ, FM, KW) had a solid understanding between them. He also believed that his allies would never sell each other out for something as paltry as second or third place. But they did. And Proph feels that Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors have both made a mistake.
“The only sound tactical way of either Breakfast Club or Keyboard Warriors to win Elimination was to choose to go against Lumberjacks rather than with them. I didn't anticipate that they would roll over and hand it to them. We were in it to win it and weren't scared of taking on Lumberjacks - obviously they felt different.”
Proph says he doesn’t regret rejecting the chance to join the members of Breakfast in Bed while they still existed, or ItsZahid’s later alliance offer, as his plan was to go through to the final three along with the Lumberjacks in the hope that the other side would join up to take them on. This is a scenario the Lumberjacks would’ve anticipated, though, regardless of how well their own alliance had held up until this point.
The Lumberjacks were never going to allow a strong team into the final three, as that would make it more likely that their two opponents would turn against them. A combination of Field Mice and one of either Breakfast Club or Keyboard Warriors would’ve had a good chance of taking the jacks down. But clearly, neither BC or KW wanted it badly enough. Or, if you believe the rumour mill, the cash bonus the Lumberjacks have offered their allies outweighed their desire to achieve victory. Meanmike denies this entirely.
"That is utter and complete garbage, lol, we have the strongest team by a mile, why would we pay anyone to do anything... we have done more work, been more organized and plain outhit everyone... that's just a lie made up by the salty trolls to try and flip our allies."
Interestingly, while Proph appears to feel betrayed by his former comrades, Keyboard Warriors’ ORAN says that it is the Field Mice who were to blame for all this, as he claims they always wanted to betray the Lumberjacks from day one.
“It was meant to be since we both agreed since the beginning NO BACKSTABBING and we kept our word… Afaik FM always wanted to betray LJ, at least that what I heard since the first 4 teams were eliminated.”
I told ORAN that Field Mice had rejected every offer from their rivals to join their alliance, but he maintains that Proph’s troops were always going to betray Lumberjacks in the end. To me, this seems like a convenient way of framing their betrayal of Field Mice, when really they just saw the opportunity to replace them with a weaker team in the form of Breakfast Club. While it may be true that there was a plan to skidundle (I made that word up) Field Mice from the off, Meanmike insists that he only had doubts over Field Mice when they brought Breakfast Club into the fold.
"Their sudden plan to bring in BC [was the reason they turned on them]. They were really just a bit too eager to have them flop and bring them to the final 3 and they had a contact in leadership there and had set up the deal themselves. It was a real eyebrow-raiser."
Meanmike went on to say that last year's Elimination played on his mind heavily when it came to making his decision. As one of the leaders of G.O.A.T.s, Mike and his team were shafted late on after thinking they had an iron-clad final two deal set up with The_Boss. That experience, coupled with the suspicious activity from Field Mice, was all the reason Meanmike needed to turn on his former allies.
"And The_Boss kinda had one coming from me :-)"
This backstabbing meant that The_Boss was denied the chance to win Elimination as a leader for the third time. And while he says he saw this betrayal coming, he did not foresee the leaders of Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club falling in line so willingly.
"What we didn't see coming was KW & BC Leaders robbing their teams of competing for first by agree to let LJ win and settling for 2nd and 3rd. They completely sold their entire team out, nearly 2,000 people, of any chance of claiming 1st place and basically gave up on the competition with more than 4 days left in it. Pretty pathetic ending to elimination if you ask me."
"The elected leader of every team should do everything in their power to try and lead their team to 1st place victory. To give up with 4 days left and decide for your team to voluntarily take 2nd and 3rd place and let a team have an easy win is beyond disappointing and embarrassing. And I'm sure a lot of members on those teams will be disappointed to learn the leaders made no effort to try and win."
THE FINALE
So what lies in store for us over the final days of Elimination 2019? Will it be over and done with quickly like a night of passion with Dude? Or will it be long and drawn out like Hildegarde and Beerstein’s goodbye posts? I'm only a quarter way through Hilde's, so don't spoil it for me please.
We’ll know what the dillio is for sure as soon as Field Mice are eliminated shortly, as this will indicate whether Lumberjacks have successfully aligned with one of the two leftover teams, or if Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club actually have the balls to take them on 2v1. And if you're reading this in the future you already know what's happened. So why not read our predictions and gossip tid-bits below to make yourself feel all smug and clever?
ISHTAR IS AN ALL CAPS-CAPTAIN
Did you know our Ms Torn runner-up is a fan of capital punishment? Don't believe me? Take a look at this hot mess.
An anonymous member of Breakfast Club remarked that their leader Ishtar has been calling team members F***ing idiots and dip***** of late, describing her as a “shouty leader… whose amazing leadership skills include writing exclusively in caps, demanding people follow the plan but refusing to give us said plan due to spies, and demand we follow their orders no questions asked - all hail our glorious leader.”
Ishtar’s methods seem to be working, though, and a bit of craziness could be exactly what this competition needs to avoid a boring finale. Fellow leader Muttley indicated that his side won’t settle for a bronze medal either, which seems to indicate they’ll try and cosy up to the Keyboard Warriors, as this would be their only realistic chance of achieving outright victory.
“As far as settle for third...never. We came to fight and fight is what we will do. I do want to thank my team, these guys/gals have heart and have been here fighting everyday... I predict tonight’s going to be a bloodbath.”
KEYBOARDS FULL OF CRUMBS
How ambitious are the Keyboard Warriors? Well, they used a spy script to try and cheat themselves to victory, so that sounds rather ambitious to me. But perhaps their final alliance decision comes down to trust rather than their own aspirations, as when I asked ORAN whether the Lumberjacks would stay faithful to them, he seemed unsure.
“Depends on how they stick to their word. This is something I can’t answer.”
As did PrincessJulie...
“Time will tell, won’t it.”
FIDEL-CASTRO seems more certain, however.
“Our team has done a fantastic job so far! We've been through good and bad times this elimination but we haven't given up. Our alliance with Lumberjacks has been strong since the first day of elimination. They helped us out when we were low on tickets, and we returned the favor for them.”
LUMBERJACKS ALLOW KW TO SUCKLE AT THEIR HAIRY TEATS
This morning I’ve witnessed a number of Keyboard Warriors members farming tickets from the Lumberjacks. Based on this, I feel it is likely that they will be the ones that LJ allow to take second place. A swift dispatching of the Breakfast Club will probably happen as soon as Field Mice have been beaten.
The only reason this scenario won’t take place is if Lumberjacks are trying to prolong the competition by stacking Keyboard Warriors with tickets so they can take them later. Such a situation would help LJs members stand a better chance of obtaining more merits for being among the top hitters in the competition. I don’t think this is likely to happen though, because I just made that reason up as a way of giving Breakfast Club hope.
But maybe I didn't need to do that after all. I asked Meanmike if it was a foregone conclusion that Keyboard Warriors would be joining them in the final two. He replied with the following definitely true statement.
"No, that's not necessarily true... Muttley is the co-lead of BC, one of my best friends in the game, I was good with them being thrown into the mix ... just not with The Mice around."
However, Mike later commented that when he and Stretch agreed to team up to run Lumberjacks, they both agreed they would play it as clean as they could. While they expected to get some blood on their hands, they only wanted to have to pull one move. You could argue that the one move they were going to pull was the exclusion of the Field Mice from the alliance. So if that's the case, surely Keyboard Warriors must expect that they will be favoured come 5pm tonight.
We shall see.
UPDATE!!!
Lumberjacks have half-turned on Keyboard Warriors by electing to take their tickets down to zero to allow them to face off with Breakfast Club in a fair fight. Meanmike explains below.
"We are dropping KBW and evening out their lives with bc and letting the two of them fight it out evenly for 2nd place. Bc is down and ready to fight, KW is salty af."
"We feel like this is the fairest way, anything else would be a complete betrayal of two allies who did their part for us."
TOP HITTERS
As the competition reaches its spicy conclusion, let's take a quick look at the top hitters from this year's Elimination 2019. These scores were correct as of approximately 4pm.
Realistassassin - Lumberjacks - 1,394
Drizella - Field Mice - 1,353
Whiskey_Jack - Lumberjacks - 1,328
HT-Supermikk - Lumberjacks - 1,275
Bblake17 - Field Mice - 1,241
Megumin - Field Mice - 1,223
Tipsy - Dream Team - 1,213
I-Love-You - Lumberjacks - 1,192
WAGABUND - Field Mice - 1,133
Ewokvillage - Keyboard Warriors - 1,164
THE DREAM TURNS TO A NIGHTMARE
Last time we checked in the Cowboys were just about to check out. At the same time, Dream Team were also coming under heavy attack from the unholy threesome of Lumberjacks, Field Mice and Keyboard Warriors, so it seemed likely they would be the next side to fall. And so it proved to be.
Pictured: Dream's over, kids.
Dream Team have managed to survive for long periods without losing a life in this year’s event, despite spending almost their entire campaign with a three-figure ticket total - noon on September 14th was the only time they hit four-figures with 1,002. Indeed, DT were the first non-Revengers team to lose a life on the very first day of the competition, but they somehow managed to avoid shedding another until two dropped on the 15th.
Dream Team did a good job as part of the Breakfast in Bed alliance, but after removing the Cowboys from the competition their safety cushion was gone. Leader Swatsicle described their task as nigh on impossible when the entire enemy alliance targeted them on the 19th.
“Power and numbers played a major role. The tie-breaker was almost deterministic, and we fell behind KW in hits, which means it was an uphill battle.”
Their only chance of survival was to hope Keyboard Warriors didn't have any more chat-stealing scripts in operation, and that their own alliance could keep KW pinned below them. They managed this impressive feat on eight occasions over the next 24 hours, but alas, it wasn’t enough. Dream Team were eliminated at 8pm on the 20th. In hindsight, Swatsicle doesn’t seem to have many regrets about the way DT played the competition, aside from wishing that the other teams had grown a pair of big hairy man balls.
“During the entire competition, we have tried to set up an anti-LJ alliance based on the fact that they were so obviously dominant. Our proposals to teams fell on deaf ears on too many occasions, and people were too paranoid about each other to commit to this common goal.”
“Every time we got something rolling, there was fear, uncertainty and doubt. It could have been different, but either the other teams didn't care about a chance to win, or thought there was none to begin with.”
Dream Team made overtures to the Field Mice to try and tempt them away from the Lumberjacks’ side, but those hopeful rodents seemed happy with the second-place they had been promised. No last minute offers were made to Dream Team, and their elimination made the competition a rather unbalanced 3v2. Or so it would have, if the Breakfast Club hadn’t immediately crossed the floor to join Online Jacking, now known as Online Jacking Before Breakfast, which I have led to believe is a fabulous way to start the day.
TROLLS FOREVER ALONE
The Trolls were left fighting four other teams all by themselves on Friday, as with Breakfast Club having been enticed over to the rival alliance, their elimination seemed all but certain. More certain than the most certain curtain of certainty you ever did certainly see.
The Trolls put up a damn good fight though, and even managed to stay ahead of Breakfast Club for six straight eliminations between 1-6am, despite having no allies to back them up. They also took two more lives off them at 2pm and 3pm the following day, but it wasn’t enough, as a run of seventeen straight life losses saw these horrid little goblins eliminated from the competition.
According to the time stamp on the above image, it seems ItsZahid and Dream Team’s Swatsicle were both caught unaware by this move by Breakfast Club, as they only knew of this situation once Dream Team were eliminated, as ItsZahid reveals.
“When DT went out and we almost immediately realised BC were not with us, before the first tick after BT died... Switched targets to BC. Did okay for a bit but 4v1 was too hard to sustain.”
If they had anticipated what Breakfast Club were up to, perhaps they could’ve done something ahead of time. I was initially told that it was the Field Mice who were claiming responsibility for bringing Breakfast Club into the rival alliance in order to defeat the Trolls. However, when I put this claim to Muttley, the Breakfast Club leader denied that this was how it went down.
“The mice never contacted me directly, but I had people working on them for a while. Mike and I have been friends for years now so we talk daily, and it was no secret that we were on the chopping block next. So we made our move to live another day. When the trains rollin you better get on or get left behind.”
Muttley implied that the deal with Lumberjacks was only formalised at the last minute when Dream Team were about to exit the competition. A comment from KPCSlor of Dream Team also implied the same, as he says Breakfast Club were still working on eliminating Keyboard Warriors right up until the very end of that round. However, when I later spoke to Lumberjacks' MeanMike, he insisted it was indeed the Field Mice who organised Breakfast Club's introduction, not his side, and he didn't much like it at all.
"They [Field Mice] had a contact in leadership there and had set up the deal themselves... The only reason I could see for them to really want to handpick who went to 3 with us was so they could set up a 2-1 against us with them. It was common knowledge NOBODY wanted to take us on 1v1, because they couldn't beat us."
The ramifications of this belief will be explored shortly. But regardless of who tempted who, it seems Breakfast Club’s former allies weren't the only ones who were out of the loop on this one. According to BC's Xeyi, even some of their own high-ranked players were entirely unaware of their alliances throughout most of the competition, so there's no chance the rank and file would've known that a Lumberjacks partnership was on the cards - hence preventing an untimely leak.
“I've not really been in the loop on alliances, we agreed to prevent leaks that Leadership will only know who we're truly allied too. But that being said, we wouldn't be where we are right now without the efforts Leadership, Diplomats and Council have put into the team.”
This strategy seems to have worked well, as Breakfast Club's betrayal was only revealed once they started attacking their former allies. In response, Trolls leader ItsZahid offered a deal to the Field Mice, guaranteeing them first place if Trolls were kept in the competition, with a bond of $25 billion offered as a form of deposit. This deal would’ve looked more tempting if Dream Team were still around to back it up, but as the sole member of a one-team alliance, there was no way the Trolls were going to tempt anyone to get into bed with them. I mean, they live under a bridge for f**ks sake?
“We knew either FM or LJ would be getting teamed on after they killed us, turns out I was right. Anyways, offered them both deals for us to help them. Both refused thinking they had it all figured out, seems like LJ really did lol.”
But this wasn't the biggest offer ItsZahid made. Meanmike confirmed to me that "he [ItsZahid] offered me 88b worth of stocks as collateral to team back up with him and if he screwed us over, I got to keep them." But Mike never had any intention of accepting this deal, not even to screw ItsZahid over by stealing his stocks, which he admitted would've been funny. As you can see, by the fact that Mike says "woulda been funny though" below. Don't believe me? Here, looksie.
"Woulda been funny though, the way he totally ruined the alliance we put together .. but that's not my game play style. I don't approve of zahid trying to use his money, lies, and snakiness to try and win this comp. But I respect the fact that he really did try everything he could on his team's behalf. He made his play way too early, and that's what doomed the trolls, but he tried his ass off to recover from that error and ya have to respect that. He shoulda just stuck with the final 2 deal we made on day 1... we wouldn't have broken it."
That last comment is quite interesting. If Lumberjacks had a final two deal with Trolls, then that means they planned to screw over the Field Mice from day one too, as they also felt they were destined for the Elimination finalé. ItsZahid says he doesn't regret switching sides as he still feels it was "the perfect decision... something everyone now realises was the correct one." However, if he could have done something differently, he says he would've kept trying to convince Keyboard Warriors to switch early on.
"If KW switched so would Cowboys. Mice and LJ would have been long dead.
Would have waiting till I had them on board before switching, but would have end up switching regardless because to get #1, they had to go."
Trolls’ member Hulk agreed with ItsZahid’s sentiments, and he couldn’t fathom why the other sides had no ambition to bring down Lumberjacks. He feels Field Mice played LJ’s game and“got played”, and for that, they have now been punished. But with regards to his own leader, Hulk says he performed well, and he feels that this sentiment is shared among his fellow Trolls teammates.
“I'm a trolls member, and I've participated heavily in this competition to understand the politics that's involved and there is nothing wrong with that really... I'd like to mention that our leadership has been amazing and no matter how hard the times have been, they've been there… they do deserve a mention as every one of us (who are participating) know that they've done their best.”
The Trolls have indeed performed admirably, and that is part of the reason they were booted in favour of Breakfast Club, who are much weaker than the Trolls and Dream Team, who both made far more hits than everyone else in the Breakfast in Bed alliance. As the competition draws to a close, the Lumberjacks are understandably keen to surround themselves with soft cuddly playthings to avoid a difficult 2v1 situation with the final three beckoning. The Trolls were too tough to ever be a realistic part of that.
So with the Trolls out of the picture, there were four supposedly allied teams remaining in the competition, with Lumberjacks, Field Mice and Keyboard Warriors joined by Breakfast Club. Would it be a case of last in, first out? Or had another secret deal been struck?
FIELD MICE EXTERMINATED
Three blind mice, three blind mice, see how they run, see how they run. You’d have to be f**king blind if you didn’t see this situation coming. Having only just welcomed Breakfast Club into their alliance, it was the Field Mice who were betrayed late in the day by Lumberjacks and Keyboard Warriors, in a move which even Stevie Wonder saw with stark clarity.
At the time of writing the Field Mice have
“It's never over until it's over. We have made no attempts to get either KW or BC back on our side other than to ask why they were selling out after it was revealed they had sided with LJs. We will keep fighting and trying to take lives off BC. We just took a life off them that crunchtime there and we will do our best to take 17 more before we are out.”
Intriguingly, while Proph hasn’t made any overtures towards Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors in an attempt to stem the tide, one of his teammates has, as the following screenshot demonstrates.
This offer has not been accepted as far as I know, and the result is that the Field Mice have had their little tails cut off constantly since noon yesterday, with Breakfast Club dropping below them on just two occasions at 7pm and 9am. Proph had no idea that Lumberjacks were going to betray them, as he felt that all three teams (LJ, FM, KW) had a solid understanding between them. He also believed that his allies would never sell each other out for something as paltry as second or third place. But they did. And Proph feels that Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors have both made a mistake.
“The only sound tactical way of either Breakfast Club or Keyboard Warriors to win Elimination was to choose to go against Lumberjacks rather than with them. I didn't anticipate that they would roll over and hand it to them. We were in it to win it and weren't scared of taking on Lumberjacks - obviously they felt different.”
Proph says he doesn’t regret rejecting the chance to join the members of Breakfast in Bed while they still existed, or ItsZahid’s later alliance offer, as his plan was to go through to the final three along with the Lumberjacks in the hope that the other side would join up to take them on. This is a scenario the Lumberjacks would’ve anticipated, though, regardless of how well their own alliance had held up until this point.
The Lumberjacks were never going to allow a strong team into the final three, as that would make it more likely that their two opponents would turn against them. A combination of Field Mice and one of either Breakfast Club or Keyboard Warriors would’ve had a good chance of taking the jacks down. But clearly, neither BC or KW wanted it badly enough. Or, if you believe the rumour mill, the cash bonus the Lumberjacks have offered their allies outweighed their desire to achieve victory. Meanmike denies this entirely.
"That is utter and complete garbage, lol, we have the strongest team by a mile, why would we pay anyone to do anything... we have done more work, been more organized and plain outhit everyone... that's just a lie made up by the salty trolls to try and flip our allies."
Interestingly, while Proph appears to feel betrayed by his former comrades, Keyboard Warriors’ ORAN says that it is the Field Mice who were to blame for all this, as he claims they always wanted to betray the Lumberjacks from day one.
“It was meant to be since we both agreed since the beginning NO BACKSTABBING and we kept our word… Afaik FM always wanted to betray LJ, at least that what I heard since the first 4 teams were eliminated.”
I told ORAN that Field Mice had rejected every offer from their rivals to join their alliance, but he maintains that Proph’s troops were always going to betray Lumberjacks in the end. To me, this seems like a convenient way of framing their betrayal of Field Mice, when really they just saw the opportunity to replace them with a weaker team in the form of Breakfast Club. While it may be true that there was a plan to skidundle (I made that word up) Field Mice from the off, Meanmike insists that he only had doubts over Field Mice when they brought Breakfast Club into the fold.
"Their sudden plan to bring in BC [was the reason they turned on them]. They were really just a bit too eager to have them flop and bring them to the final 3 and they had a contact in leadership there and had set up the deal themselves. It was a real eyebrow-raiser."
Meanmike went on to say that last year's Elimination played on his mind heavily when it came to making his decision. As one of the leaders of G.O.A.T.s, Mike and his team were shafted late on after thinking they had an iron-clad final two deal set up with The_Boss. That experience, coupled with the suspicious activity from Field Mice, was all the reason Meanmike needed to turn on his former allies.
"And The_Boss kinda had one coming from me :-)"
This backstabbing meant that The_Boss was denied the chance to win Elimination as a leader for the third time. And while he says he saw this betrayal coming, he did not foresee the leaders of Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club falling in line so willingly.
"What we didn't see coming was KW & BC Leaders robbing their teams of competing for first by agree to let LJ win and settling for 2nd and 3rd. They completely sold their entire team out, nearly 2,000 people, of any chance of claiming 1st place and basically gave up on the competition with more than 4 days left in it. Pretty pathetic ending to elimination if you ask me."
"The elected leader of every team should do everything in their power to try and lead their team to 1st place victory. To give up with 4 days left and decide for your team to voluntarily take 2nd and 3rd place and let a team have an easy win is beyond disappointing and embarrassing. And I'm sure a lot of members on those teams will be disappointed to learn the leaders made no effort to try and win."
THE FINALE
So what lies in store for us over the final days of Elimination 2019? Will it be over and done with quickly like a night of passion with Dude? Or will it be long and drawn out like Hildegarde and Beerstein’s goodbye posts? I'm only a quarter way through Hilde's, so don't spoil it for me please.
We’ll know what the dillio is for sure as soon as Field Mice are eliminated shortly, as this will indicate whether Lumberjacks have successfully aligned with one of the two leftover teams, or if Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club actually have the balls to take them on 2v1. And if you're reading this in the future you already know what's happened. So why not read our predictions and gossip tid-bits below to make yourself feel all smug and clever?
ISHTAR IS AN ALL CAPS-CAPTAIN
Did you know our Ms Torn runner-up is a fan of capital punishment? Don't believe me? Take a look at this hot mess.
An anonymous member of Breakfast Club remarked that their leader Ishtar has been calling team members F***ing idiots and dip***** of late, describing her as a “shouty leader… whose amazing leadership skills include writing exclusively in caps, demanding people follow the plan but refusing to give us said plan due to spies, and demand we follow their orders no questions asked - all hail our glorious leader.”
Ishtar’s methods seem to be working, though, and a bit of craziness could be exactly what this competition needs to avoid a boring finale. Fellow leader Muttley indicated that his side won’t settle for a bronze medal either, which seems to indicate they’ll try and cosy up to the Keyboard Warriors, as this would be their only realistic chance of achieving outright victory.
“As far as settle for third...never. We came to fight and fight is what we will do. I do want to thank my team, these guys/gals have heart and have been here fighting everyday... I predict tonight’s going to be a bloodbath.”
KEYBOARDS FULL OF CRUMBS
How ambitious are the Keyboard Warriors? Well, they used a spy script to try and cheat themselves to victory, so that sounds rather ambitious to me. But perhaps their final alliance decision comes down to trust rather than their own aspirations, as when I asked ORAN whether the Lumberjacks would stay faithful to them, he seemed unsure.
“Depends on how they stick to their word. This is something I can’t answer.”
As did PrincessJulie...
“Time will tell, won’t it.”
FIDEL-CASTRO seems more certain, however.
“Our team has done a fantastic job so far! We've been through good and bad times this elimination but we haven't given up. Our alliance with Lumberjacks has been strong since the first day of elimination. They helped us out when we were low on tickets, and we returned the favor for them.”
LUMBERJACKS ALLOW KW TO SUCKLE AT THEIR HAIRY TEATS
This morning I’ve witnessed a number of Keyboard Warriors members farming tickets from the Lumberjacks. Based on this, I feel it is likely that they will be the ones that LJ allow to take second place. A swift dispatching of the Breakfast Club will probably happen as soon as Field Mice have been beaten.
The only reason this scenario won’t take place is if Lumberjacks are trying to prolong the competition by stacking Keyboard Warriors with tickets so they can take them later. Such a situation would help LJs members stand a better chance of obtaining more merits for being among the top hitters in the competition. I don’t think this is likely to happen though, because I just made that reason up as a way of giving Breakfast Club hope.
But maybe I didn't need to do that after all. I asked Meanmike if it was a foregone conclusion that Keyboard Warriors would be joining them in the final two. He replied with the following definitely true statement.
"No, that's not necessarily true... Muttley is the co-lead of BC, one of my best friends in the game, I was good with them being thrown into the mix ... just not with The Mice around."
However, Mike later commented that when he and Stretch agreed to team up to run Lumberjacks, they both agreed they would play it as clean as they could. While they expected to get some blood on their hands, they only wanted to have to pull one move. You could argue that the one move they were going to pull was the exclusion of the Field Mice from the alliance. So if that's the case, surely Keyboard Warriors must expect that they will be favoured come 5pm tonight.
We shall see.
UPDATE!!!
Lumberjacks have half-turned on Keyboard Warriors by electing to take their tickets down to zero to allow them to face off with Breakfast Club in a fair fight. Meanmike explains below.
"We are dropping KBW and evening out their lives with bc and letting the two of them fight it out evenly for 2nd place. Bc is down and ready to fight, KW is salty af."
"We feel like this is the fairest way, anything else would be a complete betrayal of two allies who did their part for us."
TOP HITTERS
As the competition reaches its spicy conclusion, let's take a quick look at the top hitters from this year's Elimination 2019. These scores were correct as of approximately 4pm.
Realistassassin - Lumberjacks - 1,394
Drizella - Field Mice - 1,353
Whiskey_Jack - Lumberjacks - 1,328
HT-Supermikk - Lumberjacks - 1,275
Bblake17 - Field Mice - 1,241
Megumin - Field Mice - 1,223
Tipsy - Dream Team - 1,213
I-Love-You - Lumberjacks - 1,192
WAGABUND - Field Mice - 1,133
Ewokvillage - Keyboard Warriors - 1,164
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