sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Late drama sees Keyboard Warriors shafted for second place. Lumberjacks zero long-term allies to set up genuine fight for third. Jacks win comfortably with near-maximum ticket score.
Elimination 2019 has ended with victory for the Lumberjacks, a result so obvious we didn't even need Mafia's spy script to know it was going to happen. In second-place were Breakfast Club, who outfought Keyboard Warriors in a reasonably thrilling encounter which ended with the toast and cereal gobblers winning with a seven life margin at 11pm last night.
After that, the Breakfast Club were set up nicely for a heavy beating by Lumberjacks. And so it proved to be, with Lumberjacks ending the tournament just 171 tickets short of the maximum 12,000 when they took Breakfast Club's last life at 6am this morning. Congratulations Lumberjacks! Shame you couldn't have stretched it out a little longer, though, as it turns out that tomorrow is an official day of recognition for people who chop down trees.
The Lumberjacks were the clear favourites from day one, but that doesn't mean they were dead certs to win Elimination. The strongest teams are often targeted early on in the competition, so it is a tribute to the Lumberjacks' diplomacy skills that they managed to wheel and deal their way through those tricky early stages. And even at the last minute, there was a secret plot to unseat the Lumberjacks from their lofty position up in the treetops. But unfortunately, it was too little too late.
Midway through yesterday afternoon, Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club formed a last-minute alliance in a vain attempt to bring Lumberjacks down. Neither side could expect to beat the Lumberjacks on their own, but it seems they weren’t capable as a twosome either, with the ticket graph showing that their combined efforts barely scratched the Lumberjacks and their shiny, shiny axes. I would show you that graph, but I'd rather post this picture of Stretch as a lumberjack instead.
Pictured: Stretch, who has now lost his title of king snooper to Mafia.
This late alliance came about after Keyboard Warriors were themselves betrayed by Lumberjacks at the final hurdle. Lumberjacks had made Keyboard Warriors believe they were destined for the final two throughout the tournament, sticking with them even when their allies demanded their removal following the spy script scandal. However, as soon as Field Mice had been eliminated to leave only Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors remaining, the Lumberjacks immediately began to zero their former friends, and LJ leader Meanmike explains why they did this awful thing below.
“We are dropping KBW and evening out their lives with bc and letting the two of them fight it out evenly for 2nd place. That way we don’t have to screw either of them over and the best team will get the 2nd place finish.
“Bc is down and ready to fight, KW is salty af. We feel like this is the fairest way, anything else would be a complete betrayal of two allies who did their part for us.”
Keyboard Warriors co-leader ORAN was suspicious about the way Mike spoke with his team from the beginning, especially when Breakfast Club were brought into their alliance out of the blue. One therefore wonders why KW didn't turn on their masters earlier. Regardless, when they realised they had definitely maybe for certain for sure been betrayed, Keyboard Warriors kicked Lumberjacks from their server, but Meanmike reportedly pretended he had no idea. He then ignored further messages from KW’s leaders about taking down Breakfast Club, and at this point, they knew trouble was afoot.
Keyboard Warriors do have a legitimate reason to be salty here, as you could hardly call Breakfast Club “allies who did their part”, at least not equally to KW, given they were brought into the alliance with only a few days of the competition remaining. Perhaps that comment was intended as a way of smoothing things over, because Meanmike admitted to me that “there was a reason those two were the ones we picked to be 2-3… they couldn’t touch us, even together.”
No, they couldn’t. I've heard conflicting reports as to who reached out to whom first, but it seems the decision to hit the Lumberjacks was likely taken by the Keyboard Warriors, with their member Spidy sending over the following message to several Breakfast Club members, who presumably read it after Mafia had already done so.
“I understand you Breakfast Club members are being oppressed by the unintelligible Ishtar. I come as a beacon of light for a chance at the win. We all know a final fight with Lumberjacks will result in a lumberjack victory every time, they are superior then both of us. I led snowflakes last year and did the exact thing Ishtar is doing, not listening to the unpopular opinion."
"It landed is in second place. The only chance either of us have at winning it by taking out the lumberjacks, and you know that. Those of you who aren’t being forced by your leadership to attack us, ask yourself do you really want second place? I am now asking the people of Breakfast Club to stage a coup against their leadership and take down the disgusting plaid wearing lumberjacks. Yours Truly, Spidy”
Despite the odds being stacked against them, Muttley - who wishes to be known as DaddyBreakfast - told me that Breakfast Club’s members really wanted to give it a go, and this feeling seems to have pressured Ishtar into going along with the decision to strike. Muttley had no idea that these plans were afoot, by the way, only finding out from a screenshot on Discord that indicated their target had changed. He thought that hitting Lumberjacks was a mistake, but he was curious to see how it worked out anyway. You know, like when you give your baby a face tattoo. Who knows what their life will be like from now on, but it'll sure as hell be interesting!
To be honest, this decision may not have been the wisest move if second-place was their goal, but at least it made the final few hours a little more interesting - it's just a shame it didn't happen earlier. Three hours after teaming up with Keyboard Warriors, Breakfast Club had lost 400 tickets, the Lumberjacks were 200 tickets better off and Keyboard Warriors had also gained 150 tickets. In the end, Breakfast Club survived and managed a highly credible second place. But according to Meanmike this nearly didn’t happen, due to a blazing row he had with Breakfast Club’s Ishtar.
“She was dreadful. She was being given the gift of what was then to be a 2nd place finish and she came in there like she was running the place. CAPS LOCKING us to death, bossing people around, and basically acting like SHE was the one doing US the favor."
“She completely lost her mind when her team lost a life, even though WE were the ones doing all the heavy lifting and even making it close. Cussing, openly criticizing us and her choice to join us. It legit took her less than an hour to make 12 diff people on 2 diff teams hate her guts and want her out of the server and the alliance. But ... I needed her for the plan to go through, so I ignored it as long as I could.”
The screenshots of this conversation have been shared with me but I have promised not to leak them - someone else will, no doubt. Apparently, things got so bad when Breakfast Club first joined the alliance that Meanmike briefly contemplated dumping them out of the competition and taking his chances with Field Mice, but Stretch and some other Lumberjacks managed to talk him out of it. Mike says that the diplomacy shown by Muttley was what saved the members of the Breakfast Club their precious second-placed merit.
“Yeah, after we got down to 5 teams, I had a final 2 [planned out] with mice, bc and kwb. We were never gonna let mice get there, and had several really good reasons to not want to take KBW further than 3rd, so we were likely honoring the final 2 with BC and the 2 of us would bounce KWB in 3rd after we got rid of the mice.”
“But then… Ishtard. what she did was worse than any script, so we decided then to even em out and let em earn it rather than give a free ride to what frankly, were 2 pretty undeserving teams. That way we screwed em both over a little bit, but didn't totally screw either of them. We liked it better that way.”
Pictured: Two little screws, instead of one big one.
Despite Mike’s less than complimentary comments, Ishtar and Muttley still managed to lead Breakfast Club to a result which seemed far beyond them just a few days ago. As one anonymous commenter pointed out, BC were the last surviving member of the Breakfast in Bed alliance, and their final position vindicates the decisions their leadership made over the course of the competition, including the choice to betray their original allies. In response to Mike's comments, Ishtar stood by her choice words, and her use of capital letters, as she feels the circumstances at the time warranted both.
"What you have to understand is that we were fighting at the bottom of the board with very little tickets for the majority of the competition. Trying to avoid losing lives to tiebreakers for days on end took a MAJOR toll on our members and leadership team."
"Each life we lost was a hit to our morale, and as a leade,r it was my job to keep morale as high as possible. With each life lost, I had to ensure that my allies knew what was going on. I was under pressure to keep my team alive and to take them as far as I could and sometimes that translated into heated moments in the leadership chat."
Muttley added that his co-leader worked as hard as anyone helping lead the team, and that "when she wasn't caplocking the shit out of people things went well." He also expressed surprise at how effective a leader Ishtar was, but suggested he might buy her a filter for Xmas, given that she's reportedly quite used to telling people what to do.
Ishtar returned the compliment by saying that Muttley's decision to leave the Breakfast in Bed alliance proved crucial to their eventual second-place finish. And in that context, the members of Breakfast Club can hardly have much to complain about. To end as runners-up behind what is quite possibly the strongest ever Elimination team is worthy of a crown itself. We won't give them one, but they are worthy.
Pictured: 120 cardboard crowns for 39 quid. Bargain. Get em up bought lads.
Conversely, the Keyboard Warriors do have reason to be disappointed, given that they expected to be welcomed into second-place with open hairy arms by their long-time allies. ORAN says his side should have no regrets, though, as despite the Lumberjacks’ eventual betrayal, he doesn’t believe there was a different course his side could’ve realistically taken, despite the numerous alliance offers the Keyboard Warriors received throughout the tournament. His main issue remains the way his former allies treated them right at the very end, describing LJ's actions as "stupid".
Fellow leader PrincessJulie felt her side handle the betrayal well, and went on to praise her team for never losing morale despite the many setbacks they faced throughout the event.
"We came into this knowing we were statistically the youngest and poorest team, but our tenacity more than made up for it. I would tell you what I think of the LJ leadership, but I don't think you would be allowed to publish it."
Fellow fellow leader FIDEL-CASTRO described the situation as "a bittersweet moment", especially given that this may be the last time he participates in the competition.
"I'm extremely proud of our team and what we accomplished. This has been my greatest year in Elimination and one of my proudest moments in Torn. Nothing can ever top this. I stand by my earlier statement that I am officially retiring from Elimination now that this is all over."
In the end, nobody can argue that Lumberjacks played a strong political game that was the equal of their physical and numerical strength. It takes a lot to convince teams to stick with you for as long as Lumberjacks did, and for that their leadership team of Stretch and Meanmike should be commended. Stretch was personally surprised at how well things had gone for his side.
"Honestly I was shocked how smoothly things ended up working out, the only thing I regret is having to go back on my word to a friend. Beyond that, it was a great event, we crossed borders of all sorts of factions, countries, player ages. We had contributions from day 10s to day 10,000s."
"There was little/no internal strife at all, people were willing to work with each other and it really made for a lot of fun. Everyone was able to put egos away, work toward a common goal and we achieved everything we set out to."
And now that victory has been achieved for the Lumberjacks, Mike and the other leaders can finally get more than four hours of sleep a night.
"My life misses me after 2 weeks and I wanna go watch some tv or something, lol.. 20 hrs a day, 1279 hits, endless chats... I'm ready to get outta here for the day."
VITAL STATISTICS
Torn’s players do love a juicy statistic or twelve, and some dedicated players have been good enough to provide the community with the numbers they so desperately desire. The likes of Jas, Shro and Icebluefire have all posted various tables and charts in the forums already, but here is a nice little roundup of who done what the mostest and besterest in each team. Additional thanks to tos who made the page scraper for the Team Power Rankings.
Revengers
Position: 12th
Hits: 26,476 (12th)
Hits Per Hour: 395 (9th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.4 (10th)
Top Scorer: Loveu2 - 292 (1,405th)
Highest Net: Loveu2 - 266
5 Token Attack Req: 13
Punchbags
Position: 11th
Hits: 41,817 (11th)
Hits Per Hour: 327 (12th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.362 (11th)
Top Scorer: Lilith - 655 (286th)
Highest Net: Lilith - 584
5 Token Attack Req: 17
Millennials
Position: 10th
Hits: 47,805 (10th)
Hits Per Hour: 337 (11th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.327 (12th)
Top Scorer: Calla - 607 (351st)
Highest Net: Calla - 524
5 Token Attack Req: 16
Band of Mothers
Position: 9th
Hits: 69,192 (9th)
Hits Per Hour: 398 (8th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.498 (6th)
Top Scorer: Sazz - 721 (225th)
Highest Net: Sazz - 642
5 Token Attack Req: 36
Hillbillies
Position: 8th
Hits: 76,660 (8th)
Hits Per Hour: 381 (10th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.48 (8th)
Top Scorer: BFM - 670 (267th)
Highest Net: BFM - 639
5 Token Attack Req: 35
Cowboys
Position: 7th
Hits: 97,429 (7th)
Hits Per Hour: 445 (7th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.499 (4th)
Top Scorer: The1975 - 781 (165th)
Highest Net: The1975 - 652
5 Token Attack Req: 40
Dream Team
Position: 6th
Hits: 114,748 (6th)
Hits Per Hour: 463 (4th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.505 (3rd)
Top Scorer: Tipsy - 1,213 (12th)
Highest Net: Tipsy - 1,007
5 Token Attack Req: 53
Trolls
Position: 5th
Hits: 134,561 (5th)
Hits Per Hour: 474 (3rd)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.488 (7th)
Top Scorer: ItsZahid - 1,108 (19th)
Highest Net: ItsZahid - 878
5 Token Attack Req: 55
Field Mice
Position: 4th
Hits: 181,739 (2nd)
Hits Per Hour: 573 (2nd)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.565 (2nd)
Top Scorer: Drizella - 1,356 (4th)
Highest Net: Bblake17 - 1,117
5 Token Attack Req: 69 (nice)
Keyboard Warriors
Position: 3rd
Hits: 154,695 (4th)
Hits Per Hour: 446 (6th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.494 (5th)
Top Scorer: EwokVillage - 1,264 (8th)
Highest Net: EwokVillage - 1,076
5 Token Attack Req: 79
Breakfast Club
Position: 2nd
Hits: 160,486 (3rd)
Hits Per Hour: 453 (5th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.471 (9th)
Top Scorer: Nightmare - 1,234 (10th)
Highest Net: Nightmare - 1,104
5 Token Attack Req: 60
Lumberjacks
Position: 1st
Hits: 237,408 (1st)
Hits Per Hour: 671 (1st)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.591 (1st)
Top Scorer: Whiskey_Jack - 1,560 (1st)
Highest Net: HT-Supermikk - 1,404
5 Token Attack Req: 93
Shro's Player Table
Jas' Elimination Power Rankings
In case anyone is wondering, the highest net total is based on the number of attacks won vs attacks lost. Also, the 5 Token Attack Req is the number of attacks you need to have made to receive the full allocation of five attacking tokens. This year, players had to be in the top 60% of their team's attackers to get five attacking tokens - this changes to 50% next year - with the top 70% receiving four tokens, 80% three tokens, 90% two tokens and everyone else one solitary token.
TOP SCORERS
Whiskey_Jack has beaten the previous high score in 2018’s Elimination by 20 hits, with his total of 1,560 beating MilkMommy’s 1,540 score which was achieved as a member of the Snowflakes. Our top ten generally scored much higher than their 2018 counterparts, with 10th placed Nightmare’s tally of 1,234 comparing favourably to last year’s 10th placed Hookroteat, who scored 1,103.
2019 TABLE
Whiskey_Jack - Lumberjacks - 1,560
Realistassassin - Lumberjacks - 1,548
HT-Supermikk - Lumberjacks - 1,447
Drizella - Field Mice - 1,356
I-Love-You - Lumberjacks - 1,340
Jas - Lumberjacks - 1,326
Meanmike - Lumberjacks - 1,279
Ewokvillage - Keyboard Warriors - 1,264
Bblake17 - Field Mice - 1,241
Nightmare - Breakfast Club - 1,234
2018 TABLE
MilkMommy - Snowflakes - 1,540
Verdah - Team Cupcake - 1,426
BH_Sejtan - Villains - 1,405
Kniv - Team Cupcake - 1,385
Ladyjayne - Villains - 1,304
DiamondAce - Villains - 1,186
Tarelli - Team Cupcake - 1,183
Hcom3 - Dongs - 1,163
The_Boss - Team Cupcake - 1,147
Hookroteat - Dongs - 1,103
ABANDONERS
As this is the first year that players have been allowed to leave their teams we don’t have any data to compare from last year. Icebluefire’s calculations below show that 3,327 people left Elimination in total throughout the competition, with the Hillbillies dropping the most having lost 35.26% of their roster of 1,228 players. Incredibly, the team with the most players, Lumberjacks, lost the second-fewest in terms of percentage, as just 264 silly billies departed their ranks, which represented 18.88% of their total members. I guess they didn’t like the smell of victory all that much.
THE FUTURE
Some players believe that the way this year’s competition was weighted will require certain changes to be made. In particular, the manner in which oodles upon oodles of players joined the Lumberjacks via Pot Luck irked a few people, as they felt this compounded the fact they were already a super strong team. Meanmike commented on the situation below:
"It was strictly random though, that’s the funny part, I mean me and Stretch made a plan to join and lead the same team together, everyone else just kinda... joined. I hardly think BB and Z-Junior got together and said hey, let's join the same team. Anymore than Karalynn and Longbow were like "Oooh, Meanmikes team, let's go !"
I asked Chedburn whether changes would be forthcoming ahead of next year's Elimination. He believes that while there is much more to Elimination than simply having the largest team, he does intend to tweak the Pot Luck feature to prevent large imbalances from taking place in future.
"When using the "Pot Luck" feature, the six teams with the highest members are omitted. I.e. You will be joined to one of six random teams with the lowest amount of members. Considering that users would be exchanging a 1/4 choice option, with a 1/6 no-choice option, and that member counts are not visible until Elimination starts, this would provide a very insignificant advantage to stacking a specific team."
"Interested to see if people consider it and try to pick it apart, I've thought a lot about it and it seems flawless to me."
THE END
So that's your lot for this year. Thank you to everyone who sent me gossip and screenshots throughout the competition. These articles wouldn't have been possible without your help, as I would've had to make everything up like I did last year (joke).
And thank you to all the participants for sticking with Elimination through some turbulent times. This competition was riddled with drama throughout, with the multiple dirty bombs from Relentless followed by a major script scandal that tore the community in two. But none of that seems to have prevented you all from enjoying the spirit of the competition, with players from various factions coming together to beat up mothers, stamp on field mice and mess up hillbillies so bad even their cousins wouldn't recognise them in the morning.
Congratulations once more to the Lumberjacks. I'll leave the final words to their co-leader Meanmike.
"But ya wanna know the best part? hank, z, bb, rico, kara and longbow.. all these people with all this long-term beef, left it at the door and just ... played. I think I can safely say Z wouldn't p**s on me if I was on fire... but he joined my team, he did his part ... and we won."
"Yeah, there IS good to be found in this game, I haven't stopped believing that."
After that, the Breakfast Club were set up nicely for a heavy beating by Lumberjacks. And so it proved to be, with Lumberjacks ending the tournament just 171 tickets short of the maximum 12,000 when they took Breakfast Club's last life at 6am this morning. Congratulations Lumberjacks! Shame you couldn't have stretched it out a little longer, though, as it turns out that tomorrow is an official day of recognition for people who chop down trees.
The Lumberjacks were the clear favourites from day one, but that doesn't mean they were dead certs to win Elimination. The strongest teams are often targeted early on in the competition, so it is a tribute to the Lumberjacks' diplomacy skills that they managed to wheel and deal their way through those tricky early stages. And even at the last minute, there was a secret plot to unseat the Lumberjacks from their lofty position up in the treetops. But unfortunately, it was too little too late.
Midway through yesterday afternoon, Keyboard Warriors and Breakfast Club formed a last-minute alliance in a vain attempt to bring Lumberjacks down. Neither side could expect to beat the Lumberjacks on their own, but it seems they weren’t capable as a twosome either, with the ticket graph showing that their combined efforts barely scratched the Lumberjacks and their shiny, shiny axes. I would show you that graph, but I'd rather post this picture of Stretch as a lumberjack instead.
Pictured: Stretch, who has now lost his title of king snooper to Mafia.
This late alliance came about after Keyboard Warriors were themselves betrayed by Lumberjacks at the final hurdle. Lumberjacks had made Keyboard Warriors believe they were destined for the final two throughout the tournament, sticking with them even when their allies demanded their removal following the spy script scandal. However, as soon as Field Mice had been eliminated to leave only Breakfast Club and Keyboard Warriors remaining, the Lumberjacks immediately began to zero their former friends, and LJ leader Meanmike explains why they did this awful thing below.
“We are dropping KBW and evening out their lives with bc and letting the two of them fight it out evenly for 2nd place. That way we don’t have to screw either of them over and the best team will get the 2nd place finish.
“Bc is down and ready to fight, KW is salty af. We feel like this is the fairest way, anything else would be a complete betrayal of two allies who did their part for us.”
Keyboard Warriors co-leader ORAN was suspicious about the way Mike spoke with his team from the beginning, especially when Breakfast Club were brought into their alliance out of the blue. One therefore wonders why KW didn't turn on their masters earlier. Regardless, when they realised they had definitely maybe for certain for sure been betrayed, Keyboard Warriors kicked Lumberjacks from their server, but Meanmike reportedly pretended he had no idea. He then ignored further messages from KW’s leaders about taking down Breakfast Club, and at this point, they knew trouble was afoot.
Keyboard Warriors do have a legitimate reason to be salty here, as you could hardly call Breakfast Club “allies who did their part”, at least not equally to KW, given they were brought into the alliance with only a few days of the competition remaining. Perhaps that comment was intended as a way of smoothing things over, because Meanmike admitted to me that “there was a reason those two were the ones we picked to be 2-3… they couldn’t touch us, even together.”
No, they couldn’t. I've heard conflicting reports as to who reached out to whom first, but it seems the decision to hit the Lumberjacks was likely taken by the Keyboard Warriors, with their member Spidy sending over the following message to several Breakfast Club members, who presumably read it after Mafia had already done so.
“I understand you Breakfast Club members are being oppressed by the unintelligible Ishtar. I come as a beacon of light for a chance at the win. We all know a final fight with Lumberjacks will result in a lumberjack victory every time, they are superior then both of us. I led snowflakes last year and did the exact thing Ishtar is doing, not listening to the unpopular opinion."
"It landed is in second place. The only chance either of us have at winning it by taking out the lumberjacks, and you know that. Those of you who aren’t being forced by your leadership to attack us, ask yourself do you really want second place? I am now asking the people of Breakfast Club to stage a coup against their leadership and take down the disgusting plaid wearing lumberjacks. Yours Truly, Spidy”
Despite the odds being stacked against them, Muttley - who wishes to be known as DaddyBreakfast - told me that Breakfast Club’s members really wanted to give it a go, and this feeling seems to have pressured Ishtar into going along with the decision to strike. Muttley had no idea that these plans were afoot, by the way, only finding out from a screenshot on Discord that indicated their target had changed. He thought that hitting Lumberjacks was a mistake, but he was curious to see how it worked out anyway. You know, like when you give your baby a face tattoo. Who knows what their life will be like from now on, but it'll sure as hell be interesting!
To be honest, this decision may not have been the wisest move if second-place was their goal, but at least it made the final few hours a little more interesting - it's just a shame it didn't happen earlier. Three hours after teaming up with Keyboard Warriors, Breakfast Club had lost 400 tickets, the Lumberjacks were 200 tickets better off and Keyboard Warriors had also gained 150 tickets. In the end, Breakfast Club survived and managed a highly credible second place. But according to Meanmike this nearly didn’t happen, due to a blazing row he had with Breakfast Club’s Ishtar.
“She was dreadful. She was being given the gift of what was then to be a 2nd place finish and she came in there like she was running the place. CAPS LOCKING us to death, bossing people around, and basically acting like SHE was the one doing US the favor."
“She completely lost her mind when her team lost a life, even though WE were the ones doing all the heavy lifting and even making it close. Cussing, openly criticizing us and her choice to join us. It legit took her less than an hour to make 12 diff people on 2 diff teams hate her guts and want her out of the server and the alliance. But ... I needed her for the plan to go through, so I ignored it as long as I could.”
The screenshots of this conversation have been shared with me but I have promised not to leak them - someone else will, no doubt. Apparently, things got so bad when Breakfast Club first joined the alliance that Meanmike briefly contemplated dumping them out of the competition and taking his chances with Field Mice, but Stretch and some other Lumberjacks managed to talk him out of it. Mike says that the diplomacy shown by Muttley was what saved the members of the Breakfast Club their precious second-placed merit.
“Yeah, after we got down to 5 teams, I had a final 2 [planned out] with mice, bc and kwb. We were never gonna let mice get there, and had several really good reasons to not want to take KBW further than 3rd, so we were likely honoring the final 2 with BC and the 2 of us would bounce KWB in 3rd after we got rid of the mice.”
“But then… Ishtard. what she did was worse than any script, so we decided then to even em out and let em earn it rather than give a free ride to what frankly, were 2 pretty undeserving teams. That way we screwed em both over a little bit, but didn't totally screw either of them. We liked it better that way.”
Pictured: Two little screws, instead of one big one.
Despite Mike’s less than complimentary comments, Ishtar and Muttley still managed to lead Breakfast Club to a result which seemed far beyond them just a few days ago. As one anonymous commenter pointed out, BC were the last surviving member of the Breakfast in Bed alliance, and their final position vindicates the decisions their leadership made over the course of the competition, including the choice to betray their original allies. In response to Mike's comments, Ishtar stood by her choice words, and her use of capital letters, as she feels the circumstances at the time warranted both.
"What you have to understand is that we were fighting at the bottom of the board with very little tickets for the majority of the competition. Trying to avoid losing lives to tiebreakers for days on end took a MAJOR toll on our members and leadership team."
"Each life we lost was a hit to our morale, and as a leade,r it was my job to keep morale as high as possible. With each life lost, I had to ensure that my allies knew what was going on. I was under pressure to keep my team alive and to take them as far as I could and sometimes that translated into heated moments in the leadership chat."
Muttley added that his co-leader worked as hard as anyone helping lead the team, and that "when she wasn't caplocking the shit out of people things went well." He also expressed surprise at how effective a leader Ishtar was, but suggested he might buy her a filter for Xmas, given that she's reportedly quite used to telling people what to do.
Ishtar returned the compliment by saying that Muttley's decision to leave the Breakfast in Bed alliance proved crucial to their eventual second-place finish. And in that context, the members of Breakfast Club can hardly have much to complain about. To end as runners-up behind what is quite possibly the strongest ever Elimination team is worthy of a crown itself. We won't give them one, but they are worthy.
Pictured: 120 cardboard crowns for 39 quid. Bargain. Get em up bought lads.
Conversely, the Keyboard Warriors do have reason to be disappointed, given that they expected to be welcomed into second-place with open hairy arms by their long-time allies. ORAN says his side should have no regrets, though, as despite the Lumberjacks’ eventual betrayal, he doesn’t believe there was a different course his side could’ve realistically taken, despite the numerous alliance offers the Keyboard Warriors received throughout the tournament. His main issue remains the way his former allies treated them right at the very end, describing LJ's actions as "stupid".
Fellow leader PrincessJulie felt her side handle the betrayal well, and went on to praise her team for never losing morale despite the many setbacks they faced throughout the event.
"We came into this knowing we were statistically the youngest and poorest team, but our tenacity more than made up for it. I would tell you what I think of the LJ leadership, but I don't think you would be allowed to publish it."
Fellow fellow leader FIDEL-CASTRO described the situation as "a bittersweet moment", especially given that this may be the last time he participates in the competition.
"I'm extremely proud of our team and what we accomplished. This has been my greatest year in Elimination and one of my proudest moments in Torn. Nothing can ever top this. I stand by my earlier statement that I am officially retiring from Elimination now that this is all over."
In the end, nobody can argue that Lumberjacks played a strong political game that was the equal of their physical and numerical strength. It takes a lot to convince teams to stick with you for as long as Lumberjacks did, and for that their leadership team of Stretch and Meanmike should be commended. Stretch was personally surprised at how well things had gone for his side.
"Honestly I was shocked how smoothly things ended up working out, the only thing I regret is having to go back on my word to a friend. Beyond that, it was a great event, we crossed borders of all sorts of factions, countries, player ages. We had contributions from day 10s to day 10,000s."
"There was little/no internal strife at all, people were willing to work with each other and it really made for a lot of fun. Everyone was able to put egos away, work toward a common goal and we achieved everything we set out to."
And now that victory has been achieved for the Lumberjacks, Mike and the other leaders can finally get more than four hours of sleep a night.
"My life misses me after 2 weeks and I wanna go watch some tv or something, lol.. 20 hrs a day, 1279 hits, endless chats... I'm ready to get outta here for the day."
VITAL STATISTICS
Torn’s players do love a juicy statistic or twelve, and some dedicated players have been good enough to provide the community with the numbers they so desperately desire. The likes of Jas, Shro and Icebluefire have all posted various tables and charts in the forums already, but here is a nice little roundup of who done what the mostest and besterest in each team. Additional thanks to tos who made the page scraper for the Team Power Rankings.
Revengers
Position: 12th
Hits: 26,476 (12th)
Hits Per Hour: 395 (9th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.4 (10th)
Top Scorer: Loveu2 - 292 (1,405th)
Highest Net: Loveu2 - 266
5 Token Attack Req: 13
Punchbags
Position: 11th
Hits: 41,817 (11th)
Hits Per Hour: 327 (12th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.362 (11th)
Top Scorer: Lilith - 655 (286th)
Highest Net: Lilith - 584
5 Token Attack Req: 17
Millennials
Position: 10th
Hits: 47,805 (10th)
Hits Per Hour: 337 (11th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.327 (12th)
Top Scorer: Calla - 607 (351st)
Highest Net: Calla - 524
5 Token Attack Req: 16
Band of Mothers
Position: 9th
Hits: 69,192 (9th)
Hits Per Hour: 398 (8th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.498 (6th)
Top Scorer: Sazz - 721 (225th)
Highest Net: Sazz - 642
5 Token Attack Req: 36
Hillbillies
Position: 8th
Hits: 76,660 (8th)
Hits Per Hour: 381 (10th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.48 (8th)
Top Scorer: BFM - 670 (267th)
Highest Net: BFM - 639
5 Token Attack Req: 35
Cowboys
Position: 7th
Hits: 97,429 (7th)
Hits Per Hour: 445 (7th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.499 (4th)
Top Scorer: The1975 - 781 (165th)
Highest Net: The1975 - 652
5 Token Attack Req: 40
Dream Team
Position: 6th
Hits: 114,748 (6th)
Hits Per Hour: 463 (4th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.505 (3rd)
Top Scorer: Tipsy - 1,213 (12th)
Highest Net: Tipsy - 1,007
5 Token Attack Req: 53
Trolls
Position: 5th
Hits: 134,561 (5th)
Hits Per Hour: 474 (3rd)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.488 (7th)
Top Scorer: ItsZahid - 1,108 (19th)
Highest Net: ItsZahid - 878
5 Token Attack Req: 55
Field Mice
Position: 4th
Hits: 181,739 (2nd)
Hits Per Hour: 573 (2nd)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.565 (2nd)
Top Scorer: Drizella - 1,356 (4th)
Highest Net: Bblake17 - 1,117
5 Token Attack Req: 69 (nice)
Keyboard Warriors
Position: 3rd
Hits: 154,695 (4th)
Hits Per Hour: 446 (6th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.494 (5th)
Top Scorer: EwokVillage - 1,264 (8th)
Highest Net: EwokVillage - 1,076
5 Token Attack Req: 79
Breakfast Club
Position: 2nd
Hits: 160,486 (3rd)
Hits Per Hour: 453 (5th)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.471 (9th)
Top Scorer: Nightmare - 1,234 (10th)
Highest Net: Nightmare - 1,104
5 Token Attack Req: 60
Lumberjacks
Position: 1st
Hits: 237,408 (1st)
Hits Per Hour: 671 (1st)
Hits Per Hour Per Member: 0.591 (1st)
Top Scorer: Whiskey_Jack - 1,560 (1st)
Highest Net: HT-Supermikk - 1,404
5 Token Attack Req: 93
Shro's Player Table
Jas' Elimination Power Rankings
In case anyone is wondering, the highest net total is based on the number of attacks won vs attacks lost. Also, the 5 Token Attack Req is the number of attacks you need to have made to receive the full allocation of five attacking tokens. This year, players had to be in the top 60% of their team's attackers to get five attacking tokens - this changes to 50% next year - with the top 70% receiving four tokens, 80% three tokens, 90% two tokens and everyone else one solitary token.
TOP SCORERS
Whiskey_Jack has beaten the previous high score in 2018’s Elimination by 20 hits, with his total of 1,560 beating MilkMommy’s 1,540 score which was achieved as a member of the Snowflakes. Our top ten generally scored much higher than their 2018 counterparts, with 10th placed Nightmare’s tally of 1,234 comparing favourably to last year’s 10th placed Hookroteat, who scored 1,103.
2019 TABLE
Whiskey_Jack - Lumberjacks - 1,560
Realistassassin - Lumberjacks - 1,548
HT-Supermikk - Lumberjacks - 1,447
Drizella - Field Mice - 1,356
I-Love-You - Lumberjacks - 1,340
Jas - Lumberjacks - 1,326
Meanmike - Lumberjacks - 1,279
Ewokvillage - Keyboard Warriors - 1,264
Bblake17 - Field Mice - 1,241
Nightmare - Breakfast Club - 1,234
2018 TABLE
MilkMommy - Snowflakes - 1,540
Verdah - Team Cupcake - 1,426
BH_Sejtan - Villains - 1,405
Kniv - Team Cupcake - 1,385
Ladyjayne - Villains - 1,304
DiamondAce - Villains - 1,186
Tarelli - Team Cupcake - 1,183
Hcom3 - Dongs - 1,163
The_Boss - Team Cupcake - 1,147
Hookroteat - Dongs - 1,103
ABANDONERS
As this is the first year that players have been allowed to leave their teams we don’t have any data to compare from last year. Icebluefire’s calculations below show that 3,327 people left Elimination in total throughout the competition, with the Hillbillies dropping the most having lost 35.26% of their roster of 1,228 players. Incredibly, the team with the most players, Lumberjacks, lost the second-fewest in terms of percentage, as just 264 silly billies departed their ranks, which represented 18.88% of their total members. I guess they didn’t like the smell of victory all that much.
THE FUTURE
Some players believe that the way this year’s competition was weighted will require certain changes to be made. In particular, the manner in which oodles upon oodles of players joined the Lumberjacks via Pot Luck irked a few people, as they felt this compounded the fact they were already a super strong team. Meanmike commented on the situation below:
"It was strictly random though, that’s the funny part, I mean me and Stretch made a plan to join and lead the same team together, everyone else just kinda... joined. I hardly think BB and Z-Junior got together and said hey, let's join the same team. Anymore than Karalynn and Longbow were like "Oooh, Meanmikes team, let's go !"
I asked Chedburn whether changes would be forthcoming ahead of next year's Elimination. He believes that while there is much more to Elimination than simply having the largest team, he does intend to tweak the Pot Luck feature to prevent large imbalances from taking place in future.
"When using the "Pot Luck" feature, the six teams with the highest members are omitted. I.e. You will be joined to one of six random teams with the lowest amount of members. Considering that users would be exchanging a 1/4 choice option, with a 1/6 no-choice option, and that member counts are not visible until Elimination starts, this would provide a very insignificant advantage to stacking a specific team."
"Interested to see if people consider it and try to pick it apart, I've thought a lot about it and it seems flawless to me."
THE END
So that's your lot for this year. Thank you to everyone who sent me gossip and screenshots throughout the competition. These articles wouldn't have been possible without your help, as I would've had to make everything up like I did last year (joke).
And thank you to all the participants for sticking with Elimination through some turbulent times. This competition was riddled with drama throughout, with the multiple dirty bombs from Relentless followed by a major script scandal that tore the community in two. But none of that seems to have prevented you all from enjoying the spirit of the competition, with players from various factions coming together to beat up mothers, stamp on field mice and mess up hillbillies so bad even their cousins wouldn't recognise them in the morning.
Congratulations once more to the Lumberjacks. I'll leave the final words to their co-leader Meanmike.
"But ya wanna know the best part? hank, z, bb, rico, kara and longbow.. all these people with all this long-term beef, left it at the door and just ... played. I think I can safely say Z wouldn't p**s on me if I was on fire... but he joined my team, he did his part ... and we won."
"Yeah, there IS good to be found in this game, I haven't stopped believing that."
Original article
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