sugarvalves [1963573] —
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What the hell does that mean? How does a Wednesday occur on a Tuesday? And what is Slash Wednesday anyway? Read on to find out why you should be levelling up this week.
Torn's annual Slash Wednesday event takes place this week, with this 48-hour awareness drive by the staff at Torn City Hospital set to cause carnage and chaos across the city, as patients young, old and crippled can all expect to be turfed out of their beds much quicker than usual!
Pictured: I'm sorry you have a shattered pelvis madam, but you need to GTFO.
Slash Wednesday was created by the staff at Torn City Hospital to draw citizens' attention towards the heroic feats of endurance they perform on a daily basis. On any given day, TCH sees upwards of 100,000+ patients arrive through their doors, with gunshot victims, overdosed tweakers and lightly irradiated bystanders just some of those who expect to be treated in the world's most over-subscribed healthcare facility.
And treated they are, with not a single penny asked of them either, thanks to the TCH's receipt of adequate funding through the funds generated by the Item Market and the Donator House. However, despite this system working perfectly to serve the needs of Earth's most violent settlement, some deluded fools have decried Torn's free healthcare provision as the scheme of a socialist madman - the receptionists at Torn City Hospital often have to deal with brainwashed simpletons who insist on paying $40,000 for a pack of band-aids.
In order to combat the bizarre refusal of some citizens to believe that Torn's socialised healthcare system works, the staff at TCH will provide a distinctly substandard service this week, in the hope that it will make people grateful for the usually outstanding care doled out to ungrateful bastards each and every day. Wounds will be less than thoroughly cleaned. Anaesthetics will not be administered. And if you're unconscious when the doctor asks you which limb they're supposed to amputate, I guess Dr Chakrabatty will just have to guess. Be forewarned, she's not so great with her lefts and rights!
Due to all Torn events being upgraded from 24 to 48 hours, Slash Wednesday will actually begin at noon on Tuesday the 10th of December and will last until noon on Thursday the 12th of December. During this period, all patients who check in to the Torn City Hospital can expect to be discharged in roughly a quarter of the time it would usually take for their treatments to finish. Here are a few examples:
Overdosed on Xanax - Was 83hr 20m, now 20hr 50m
Burned in an arson attempt - Was 5h 58m, now 1hr 29m
Lost to a player - Was 28m, now 7m
Hospitalised by a player - Was 4h 40m, now 1hr 10m
It is expected that some factions will make use of Slash Wednesday to wage real or fake farm wars within the Territories system. We also expect traders to be less active than usual on this day, as self-hospitalising with Blood Bags or Small Explosive Devices will be less effective than usual. Any buy-muggers out there might want to keep an eye out on the hospital inpatient lists for any traders who have used an SED, as chances are they might not be aware of their temporarily limited function.
One citizen has taken a rather novel approach to the Slash Wednesday event, as he has decided to form a faction with the sole purpose of seeing it destroyed. CockyNudist, the self-professed weakest player in Torn, believes everyone should use Slash Wednesday to level up as quickly as possible. He notes how leaving someone on the street after an attack will result in just four to six minutes of hospital time, meaning that Torn's people are free to slash, mash and smash their kith and kin with barely any consequences for their opponents.
But because four to six minutes apparently isn't short enough, CockyNudist has decided to create a new faction with the necessary perks to enable its members to enjoy a further 3% hospital time reduction. The P-Team welcomes any Torn player who wishes to join them for the duration of Slash Wednesday.
"Anybody who thinks they have what it takes to be a top Punchbag in Torn (up to 8 people) is welcome to join the faction to help service the rest of Torn with their bodies! The higher your punchbag ratio (High level:Low stats) the better! Just send me a message, or apply after I create the faction."
However, you should be warned that CockyNudists' faction won't be around for much longer, as his forum post makes it clear he expects The P-Team to be destroyed. Whoever manages the final blow when The P-Team's respect is reduced to zero will receive a Donator Pack from CockyNudist. And to tempt you further into annihilating this punching bag faction, the Torn City Times is willing to offer a further three Donator Packs to whoever achieves this final hit.
tl;dr: Hospital times reduced by 75% from noon on the 10th until noon on the 12th.
Pictured: I'm sorry you have a shattered pelvis madam, but you need to GTFO.
Slash Wednesday was created by the staff at Torn City Hospital to draw citizens' attention towards the heroic feats of endurance they perform on a daily basis. On any given day, TCH sees upwards of 100,000+ patients arrive through their doors, with gunshot victims, overdosed tweakers and lightly irradiated bystanders just some of those who expect to be treated in the world's most over-subscribed healthcare facility.
And treated they are, with not a single penny asked of them either, thanks to the TCH's receipt of adequate funding through the funds generated by the Item Market and the Donator House. However, despite this system working perfectly to serve the needs of Earth's most violent settlement, some deluded fools have decried Torn's free healthcare provision as the scheme of a socialist madman - the receptionists at Torn City Hospital often have to deal with brainwashed simpletons who insist on paying $40,000 for a pack of band-aids.
In order to combat the bizarre refusal of some citizens to believe that Torn's socialised healthcare system works, the staff at TCH will provide a distinctly substandard service this week, in the hope that it will make people grateful for the usually outstanding care doled out to ungrateful bastards each and every day. Wounds will be less than thoroughly cleaned. Anaesthetics will not be administered. And if you're unconscious when the doctor asks you which limb they're supposed to amputate, I guess Dr Chakrabatty will just have to guess. Be forewarned, she's not so great with her lefts and rights!
Due to all Torn events being upgraded from 24 to 48 hours, Slash Wednesday will actually begin at noon on Tuesday the 10th of December and will last until noon on Thursday the 12th of December. During this period, all patients who check in to the Torn City Hospital can expect to be discharged in roughly a quarter of the time it would usually take for their treatments to finish. Here are a few examples:
Overdosed on Xanax - Was 83hr 20m, now 20hr 50m
Burned in an arson attempt - Was 5h 58m, now 1hr 29m
Lost to a player - Was 28m, now 7m
Hospitalised by a player - Was 4h 40m, now 1hr 10m
It is expected that some factions will make use of Slash Wednesday to wage real or fake farm wars within the Territories system. We also expect traders to be less active than usual on this day, as self-hospitalising with Blood Bags or Small Explosive Devices will be less effective than usual. Any buy-muggers out there might want to keep an eye out on the hospital inpatient lists for any traders who have used an SED, as chances are they might not be aware of their temporarily limited function.
One citizen has taken a rather novel approach to the Slash Wednesday event, as he has decided to form a faction with the sole purpose of seeing it destroyed. CockyNudist, the self-professed weakest player in Torn, believes everyone should use Slash Wednesday to level up as quickly as possible. He notes how leaving someone on the street after an attack will result in just four to six minutes of hospital time, meaning that Torn's people are free to slash, mash and smash their kith and kin with barely any consequences for their opponents.
But because four to six minutes apparently isn't short enough, CockyNudist has decided to create a new faction with the necessary perks to enable its members to enjoy a further 3% hospital time reduction. The P-Team welcomes any Torn player who wishes to join them for the duration of Slash Wednesday.
"Anybody who thinks they have what it takes to be a top Punchbag in Torn (up to 8 people) is welcome to join the faction to help service the rest of Torn with their bodies! The higher your punchbag ratio (High level:Low stats) the better! Just send me a message, or apply after I create the faction."
However, you should be warned that CockyNudists' faction won't be around for much longer, as his forum post makes it clear he expects The P-Team to be destroyed. Whoever manages the final blow when The P-Team's respect is reduced to zero will receive a Donator Pack from CockyNudist. And to tempt you further into annihilating this punching bag faction, the Torn City Times is willing to offer a further three Donator Packs to whoever achieves this final hit.
tl;dr: Hospital times reduced by 75% from noon on the 10th until noon on the 12th.
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