sugarvalves [1963573] —
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Cannabis bonus day begins at noon TCT on Sunday. 48 hour event set to provide increased nerve, overdose chances. Bazaars offering free and cheap weed to poor stoners.
Ganja. Green Gravy. Hashish. Monkey Juice. Mary Jane. The Colonel's Special Blend of Seven Herbs and Some Drugs. Caribbean Cabbage. Carlton From Fresh Prince's Secret Shame. Chronic. Smart Price Cat Food. The Devil's Lettuce. Kush. Jesus' Crispy Rims. Not Eggs. Pot. The Jolly Green Giant Woman With Eighty Pound Thighs. Weed.
There are many slang names for the product known as Cannabis, and not all of them are real. But what is real are the effects of this debilitating drug upon the mind of its addled users. Once imbibed, a single injection of Cannabis smoke into the legs can cause users to feel elated and emboldened, so much so that they feel an urge to commit all manner of horrendous crimes.
Pictured: This piece of unrepentant s**t found money under the old bridge. He was promptly killed to death by the strong thighs of the law.
And from noon today, these feelings will be ramped up like a ramp that has been extended with another ramp to make an extra-long ramp, as Torn's traditional Cannabis blowout is set to take place over the next two days. Weed users can expect to feel three times as braced as usual over the coming 48-hours, with triple the usual nerve effects in place during the 420 event. In turn, this will likely cause a five-fold increase in the number of overdose patients admitted to Torn City Hospital.
Nobody is quite sure what causes this sudden increase in Cannabis potency to occur every year around the same date. The first instance of this happening was noted in 2018, with Climatologists at the time blaming a gust of hot South American air known as "The Pineapple Express" for Marijuana's temporarily heightened effectiveness.
Then, in 2019, Torn College's resident Geologist Dr Quasimodo Mantle had us believing that quantum fluctuations in the Earth's lithosphere were the cause of this phenomenon. The vast majority of the public didn't buy these explanations, mostly because they were too busy purchasing weed for the event itself.
Pictured: A meaningless graph.
But in what has become something of a Torn tradition, Dr Quasimodo Mantle has offered up yet another contrived explanation for the sudden extra efficacy of the Cannabis item.
"Research papers stolen from the office of Dr Amanda Ravenscroft suggest that the brains of almost all of Torn's citizens have become infected with a bacterium as Stercus Cerebri. How she came to know this is something I do not wish to find out - her penchant for vivisection is well known - however, I am more concerned with the effects of this infection upon the populace"
"It appears that Stercus Cerebri makes a beeline for a region of the brain known as the Coruscare, where it replicates in great numbers by feasting on the chemicals released by the brain in response to disappointment and mild hilarity. The presence of Stercus Cerebri causes the area to swell greatly, and after a somewhat convenient gestation period of precisely eighteen days, the swelling becomes so great it compels the host to indulge in harmful behaviors."
In his one page thesis written on the inside of a box of Cheerios (Honey Nut), Dr Mantle suggests that April Fool's Day was likely the trigger for Stercus Cerebri's activation this year. He followed up by blaming Torn's citizens for this outbreak, noting that their high intake of Xanax, Candies and Energy Drinks makes the consumption of bat soup look positively normal.
Yet despite the potentially devastating effects of this bacterial infestation, Torn's citizens are set to make use of the 420 event for their own gain. Many players see it as something of a badge of honor to overdose using Cannabis, with special honor bars given out to those who achieve it. And with some long term playerss also keen to achieve milestones in certain crime categories, it seems that most of Torn will celebrate 420 with a trip to either the hospital or prison.
Pictured: Why not combine both into a Hospijail?
As usual, Torn's traders are ahead of the curve on this one, with many sellers having already hiked Cannabis prices in response to the event - they are currently up $3k on their early March price, and nearly double what they were in February. This situation has been exacerbated by the behaviour of KrombopulousM, who has built up a $1bn weed stash to sell at a profit.
"I decided to keep it all and during 4/20 make sure I sell it for a pretty penny and if not then I’ll keep it and have the most cannabis in the game."
Some of Torn's more scrupulous traders are offering promotions instead. FIDEL-CASTRO is one such trader, with his bazaar set to offer Cannabis at a price of $420 while stocks last. Meanwhile, Kalaya has been giving away Cannabis for free via her forum thread, which you can visit via this link. So with cheap and free weed on offer, there really is no need to be green with envy this 420.
tl;dr: Cannabis provides 3x the usual nerve and 5x the usual overdose chance from noon 19th April until noon 21st April.
There are many slang names for the product known as Cannabis, and not all of them are real. But what is real are the effects of this debilitating drug upon the mind of its addled users. Once imbibed, a single injection of Cannabis smoke into the legs can cause users to feel elated and emboldened, so much so that they feel an urge to commit all manner of horrendous crimes.
Pictured: This piece of unrepentant s**t found money under the old bridge. He was promptly killed to death by the strong thighs of the law.
And from noon today, these feelings will be ramped up like a ramp that has been extended with another ramp to make an extra-long ramp, as Torn's traditional Cannabis blowout is set to take place over the next two days. Weed users can expect to feel three times as braced as usual over the coming 48-hours, with triple the usual nerve effects in place during the 420 event. In turn, this will likely cause a five-fold increase in the number of overdose patients admitted to Torn City Hospital.
Nobody is quite sure what causes this sudden increase in Cannabis potency to occur every year around the same date. The first instance of this happening was noted in 2018, with Climatologists at the time blaming a gust of hot South American air known as "The Pineapple Express" for Marijuana's temporarily heightened effectiveness.
Then, in 2019, Torn College's resident Geologist Dr Quasimodo Mantle had us believing that quantum fluctuations in the Earth's lithosphere were the cause of this phenomenon. The vast majority of the public didn't buy these explanations, mostly because they were too busy purchasing weed for the event itself.
Pictured: A meaningless graph.
But in what has become something of a Torn tradition, Dr Quasimodo Mantle has offered up yet another contrived explanation for the sudden extra efficacy of the Cannabis item.
"Research papers stolen from the office of Dr Amanda Ravenscroft suggest that the brains of almost all of Torn's citizens have become infected with a bacterium as Stercus Cerebri. How she came to know this is something I do not wish to find out - her penchant for vivisection is well known - however, I am more concerned with the effects of this infection upon the populace"
"It appears that Stercus Cerebri makes a beeline for a region of the brain known as the Coruscare, where it replicates in great numbers by feasting on the chemicals released by the brain in response to disappointment and mild hilarity. The presence of Stercus Cerebri causes the area to swell greatly, and after a somewhat convenient gestation period of precisely eighteen days, the swelling becomes so great it compels the host to indulge in harmful behaviors."
In his one page thesis written on the inside of a box of Cheerios (Honey Nut), Dr Mantle suggests that April Fool's Day was likely the trigger for Stercus Cerebri's activation this year. He followed up by blaming Torn's citizens for this outbreak, noting that their high intake of Xanax, Candies and Energy Drinks makes the consumption of bat soup look positively normal.
Yet despite the potentially devastating effects of this bacterial infestation, Torn's citizens are set to make use of the 420 event for their own gain. Many players see it as something of a badge of honor to overdose using Cannabis, with special honor bars given out to those who achieve it. And with some long term playerss also keen to achieve milestones in certain crime categories, it seems that most of Torn will celebrate 420 with a trip to either the hospital or prison.
Pictured: Why not combine both into a Hospijail?
As usual, Torn's traders are ahead of the curve on this one, with many sellers having already hiked Cannabis prices in response to the event - they are currently up $3k on their early March price, and nearly double what they were in February. This situation has been exacerbated by the behaviour of KrombopulousM, who has built up a $1bn weed stash to sell at a profit.
"I decided to keep it all and during 4/20 make sure I sell it for a pretty penny and if not then I’ll keep it and have the most cannabis in the game."
Some of Torn's more scrupulous traders are offering promotions instead. FIDEL-CASTRO is one such trader, with his bazaar set to offer Cannabis at a price of $420 while stocks last. Meanwhile, Kalaya has been giving away Cannabis for free via her forum thread, which you can visit via this link. So with cheap and free weed on offer, there really is no need to be green with envy this 420.
tl;dr: Cannabis provides 3x the usual nerve and 5x the usual overdose chance from noon 19th April until noon 21st April.
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