LaPetiteMort [2080158] —
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Discover what lies ahead for you in the month of April by browsing the prophecies of Spica, Torn's resident and most revered mystic.
Since the first quarter of 2020 has been a complete and utter s**t show, I, Spica, the all-knowing foreteller of mostly accurate prophecies, have decided to share my predictions with you in the form of a brand new Tornoscope feature.
Those of you with ashen hair and crinkled complexions may recall that the Torn City Times once had a horoscope many moons ago. But this isn't a horoscope, it's a Tornoscope, which is different in several important ways I cannot possibly share with you non-enlightened individuals.
The one thing I can tell you is that I have used real Tarot Cards to predict your fortunes over the coming month. So, if you'd like to know your fate so you may adequately prepare, you would be wise to pay heed to the following divinations.
Aries (March 21 ~ April 20)
Eight of Swords
Aries needs to be mindful of moving around factions as you might have difficulty coming back when they need you the most. Keep an eye on your cooldowns and always leave room for when you need that extra FHC. Great pressure shall befall you this coming month, so be wary of incoming drama.
Taurus (April 21 ~ May 20)
Four of Cups
Taurus is feeling bored this month, but since luck is on your side, now would be the best time to head over to the Casino. You should choose carefully when to move to higher stakes in Poker, however, as you may be focusing too much on the payout over your opponent’s ability. If you’re not the type to gamble, look out for those offers to change companies or factions, and make sure you don’t regret missing out.
Gemini (May 21 ~ June 20)
Justice XI
Geminis will be making decisions that are beneficial for all parties this month. Trade with a Gemini if you can, as they feeling generous during this lunar cycle. A failure to heed this prophecy would give you a very negative reputation quicker than you might expect. If you want to get a good price out of a person, be ready to offer a reasonable one. I'd suggest shying away from crimes too - RNJesus does not have your back this month.
Cancer (June 21~ July 22)
Page of Pentacles
This is the best time for Cancer to start building up a reputation on whichever route they want to take in Torn, be it being a reviver, chainer, trader or crime lord. April is the month when all the opportunities will come in through your mailbox, so keep your windows and doors open for offers!
Leo (July 23 ~ August 22)
Wheel of Fortune X
This prediction depends greatly on whether the Leo has been lucky or unlucky in the past few weeks. If you've been receiving s***ty hands on Blackjack of late, then try again, as Lady Luck will be right by your side. But if you've had a successful streak recently, perhaps on Russian Roulette, then steer clear of games of chance, as there is a bullet with your name on. Even if you're not a gambler, you'd be advised to avoid opening Medical Supplies and Drug Packs until next month.
Virgo (August 23 ~ September 22)
Seven of Swords
Be wary of getting scammed in April! Let your inner Virgo out and be as meticulous as you can be when it comes to transactions over these coming weeks. Don’t blame anyone when you become a victim of buy-mugging if you didn’t make the necessary precautions on preventing yourself from being a victim. Be on your guard even with spouses and faction mates. Pay attention to each click (which should not be hard for you) and you’ll be fine.
Libra (September 23 ~ October 22)
Three of Wands
Always missing the re-stock abroad? Constantly getting mugged when visiting the Caymans and Switzerland? And are you stick of the low stats on armors and weapons you're receiving on purchases on other countries? Worry no more, for in April, any Libras travelling abroad will have more success. Your hard work will finally pay off. It never hurts to look into the current stock before flying though.
Scorpio (October 23 ~ November 22)
Five of Swords
Scorpios will need to chill in the coming weeks, as the Five of Swords is not a good omen, especially if you're the aggressor in a conflict. If you’re currently in a disagreement with someone, talk to them before attacking. Whether it's a small buy-mugging attempt or you're trying to steal a racket from another faction, you should make your decisions carefully this month. I'm saying it now, please don't make a crying thread on the forums if you do end up losing out to a weakling.
Sagittarius (November 23 ~ December 21)
Ace of Pentacles
This may be the best month to see some changes for Sagittarius. If you're thinking of ditching your long inactive spouse, now is the time to do it. I predicted this would be wise even before the Deadly Duo merit was released, so you know my prophecies are wise and true. If you'd like to clean up your friends and enemies list, get it done in April. Moving factions is a good idea too. Starting something new this month will be very positive for you. Who knows, you might avoid that Dirty Bo- **cough**.
Capricorn (December 22 ~ January 19)
Knight of Wands
The cards were initially undecided when it comes to Capricorn, but the aether finally settled and picked out the Knight of Wands. It seems that this is the best time for you to change jobs or start up your own company! This is good for you if you’ve already completed all the educations for it. If not, consider whether your current job fits your needs - if it doesn’t, find a job that does! Don't stay stuck on a job where you don't even use the points!
Aquarius (January 20 ~ February 19)
Ten of Cups
If Aquarius has an active spouse, you don’t have to worry about paying upkeep for the next four weeks. You can look forward to domestic bliss with lavish gifts or thoughtful messages from your other half. And if you're single or have a spouse that’s long been dead to the game, don't be afraid to lean on your faction for the emotional support you need, such as being consoled when you’re on the receiving end of bounties.
Pisces (February 20 ~ March 20)
Nine of Swords
Simple advice for Pisces: Don’t do anything you will regret. Think before you speak, ask before you act. Don't be a chain target candidate. If you don’t consider the consequences of your actions you may end up losing respect and friends in equal measure. Value those who have been with you through thick and thin, and make sure you always know the facts before making a judgement.
Disclaimer: In accordance with the laws of Torn City I must state that all readings are for entertainment purposes only. No guarantee can be given or is given or should be assumed regarding the accuracy of a reading. The user is responsible for his/her own life choices and decisions. Your choices are yours to make. I am not qualified to give legal, financial, medical, psychological, psychiatric or any other specialist advice. If you require such advice you should seek Papa Duke.
Those of you with ashen hair and crinkled complexions may recall that the Torn City Times once had a horoscope many moons ago. But this isn't a horoscope, it's a Tornoscope, which is different in several important ways I cannot possibly share with you non-enlightened individuals.
The one thing I can tell you is that I have used real Tarot Cards to predict your fortunes over the coming month. So, if you'd like to know your fate so you may adequately prepare, you would be wise to pay heed to the following divinations.
Aries (March 21 ~ April 20)
Eight of Swords
Aries needs to be mindful of moving around factions as you might have difficulty coming back when they need you the most. Keep an eye on your cooldowns and always leave room for when you need that extra FHC. Great pressure shall befall you this coming month, so be wary of incoming drama.
Taurus (April 21 ~ May 20)
Four of Cups
Taurus is feeling bored this month, but since luck is on your side, now would be the best time to head over to the Casino. You should choose carefully when to move to higher stakes in Poker, however, as you may be focusing too much on the payout over your opponent’s ability. If you’re not the type to gamble, look out for those offers to change companies or factions, and make sure you don’t regret missing out.
Gemini (May 21 ~ June 20)
Justice XI
Geminis will be making decisions that are beneficial for all parties this month. Trade with a Gemini if you can, as they feeling generous during this lunar cycle. A failure to heed this prophecy would give you a very negative reputation quicker than you might expect. If you want to get a good price out of a person, be ready to offer a reasonable one. I'd suggest shying away from crimes too - RNJesus does not have your back this month.
Cancer (June 21~ July 22)
Page of Pentacles
This is the best time for Cancer to start building up a reputation on whichever route they want to take in Torn, be it being a reviver, chainer, trader or crime lord. April is the month when all the opportunities will come in through your mailbox, so keep your windows and doors open for offers!
Leo (July 23 ~ August 22)
Wheel of Fortune X
This prediction depends greatly on whether the Leo has been lucky or unlucky in the past few weeks. If you've been receiving s***ty hands on Blackjack of late, then try again, as Lady Luck will be right by your side. But if you've had a successful streak recently, perhaps on Russian Roulette, then steer clear of games of chance, as there is a bullet with your name on. Even if you're not a gambler, you'd be advised to avoid opening Medical Supplies and Drug Packs until next month.
Virgo (August 23 ~ September 22)
Seven of Swords
Be wary of getting scammed in April! Let your inner Virgo out and be as meticulous as you can be when it comes to transactions over these coming weeks. Don’t blame anyone when you become a victim of buy-mugging if you didn’t make the necessary precautions on preventing yourself from being a victim. Be on your guard even with spouses and faction mates. Pay attention to each click (which should not be hard for you) and you’ll be fine.
Libra (September 23 ~ October 22)
Three of Wands
Always missing the re-stock abroad? Constantly getting mugged when visiting the Caymans and Switzerland? And are you stick of the low stats on armors and weapons you're receiving on purchases on other countries? Worry no more, for in April, any Libras travelling abroad will have more success. Your hard work will finally pay off. It never hurts to look into the current stock before flying though.
Scorpio (October 23 ~ November 22)
Five of Swords
Scorpios will need to chill in the coming weeks, as the Five of Swords is not a good omen, especially if you're the aggressor in a conflict. If you’re currently in a disagreement with someone, talk to them before attacking. Whether it's a small buy-mugging attempt or you're trying to steal a racket from another faction, you should make your decisions carefully this month. I'm saying it now, please don't make a crying thread on the forums if you do end up losing out to a weakling.
Sagittarius (November 23 ~ December 21)
Ace of Pentacles
This may be the best month to see some changes for Sagittarius. If you're thinking of ditching your long inactive spouse, now is the time to do it. I predicted this would be wise even before the Deadly Duo merit was released, so you know my prophecies are wise and true. If you'd like to clean up your friends and enemies list, get it done in April. Moving factions is a good idea too. Starting something new this month will be very positive for you. Who knows, you might avoid that Dirty Bo- **cough**.
Capricorn (December 22 ~ January 19)
Knight of Wands
The cards were initially undecided when it comes to Capricorn, but the aether finally settled and picked out the Knight of Wands. It seems that this is the best time for you to change jobs or start up your own company! This is good for you if you’ve already completed all the educations for it. If not, consider whether your current job fits your needs - if it doesn’t, find a job that does! Don't stay stuck on a job where you don't even use the points!
Aquarius (January 20 ~ February 19)
Ten of Cups
If Aquarius has an active spouse, you don’t have to worry about paying upkeep for the next four weeks. You can look forward to domestic bliss with lavish gifts or thoughtful messages from your other half. And if you're single or have a spouse that’s long been dead to the game, don't be afraid to lean on your faction for the emotional support you need, such as being consoled when you’re on the receiving end of bounties.
Pisces (February 20 ~ March 20)
Nine of Swords
Simple advice for Pisces: Don’t do anything you will regret. Think before you speak, ask before you act. Don't be a chain target candidate. If you don’t consider the consequences of your actions you may end up losing respect and friends in equal measure. Value those who have been with you through thick and thin, and make sure you always know the facts before making a judgement.
Disclaimer: In accordance with the laws of Torn City I must state that all readings are for entertainment purposes only. No guarantee can be given or is given or should be assumed regarding the accuracy of a reading. The user is responsible for his/her own life choices and decisions. Your choices are yours to make. I am not qualified to give legal, financial, medical, psychological, psychiatric or any other specialist advice. If you require such advice you should seek Papa Duke.
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