sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Which faction bent the knee to Chain Reaction? Will the Phoenix Rise again? Why can't MightyGoober talk to women? Who spent a billion on bounties? And whose vault did we save from a daring raid?
Are you curious as to what's been going on this month but you're too smart to read the forums? Then why not have a read of these short stories from the streets of Torn City the next time you're straining on the can. And remember, we pay Donator Packs to players who slip us some juicy gossip, so if you've got a story to tell, Tell It Today.
VAULT THEFT IMMINENT?
We faced a moral dilemma at the Torn City Times this week when a player confessed to Pastor Williams that they were about to empty their faction's vault.
Confessions are supposed to be anonymous, but in this instance, we decided that the security of a faction was more important, so we outed the bastard to his leaders. We believe confessions should be private, but it's not really a confession if you haven't done it yet, it's a statement of intent, and we have never promised to keep those anonymous. That's our line on this matter, and we're sticking to it like bare buttcheeks to a leather couch on a hot summer's day.
Pastor Williams agrees with our decision, and that means God does too. Which God? All of them, I guess.
"Those who confess a sin of the past are welcome to my judgement. Those who profess a sin of the future are subject to my wrath. That sounds like a groovy quote, right? Something that people might listen to. Make sure you only print the first part, not all of this bit where I'm talking afterwards. That'd be stupid. Don't make me look stupid. I am a man of several Gods." - Pastor Williams
The Torn City Times informed the player's faction of their member's plan to betray them, and disaster was averted. Although we were intrigued to see that he remains a member of the faction. There's just no helping some people.
RENT PRICES PLUMMET
LamLloyd contacted The Times to brag about a fantastic deal he got on a recent rental property. Do you know who leased this PI for such a low amount?
PHOENIX RISING... FALLING... RISING AGAIN?
Sharkeyfive and tinytown are currently in negotiations with MrSands to buy back Atlas Society, formerly known as Phoenix Rising, at a discounted rate after it was sold unlawfully by SoftRising for $20bn earlier this month. In last week's article, MrSands was roundly criticised for his reaction to the revelation that SoftRising did not own Phoenix Rising, as he tried to justify his actions in keeping what was essentially stolen property. But according to MeanMike, who has been involved as a mediator on this issue, a refund may soon be on the cards.
"MrSands has offered to cancel the deal, take his money back from SoftRising and give PR back to Tinytown. We had a nice talk about reputation and doing the right thing, and SoftRising told me flat out that he has the money."
The only problem is that SoftRising hasn't been seen in several days, so Sharkeyfive and tinytown are trying to raise the funds themselves. MrSands has graciously offered to reduce the buyback price to the pair by $2 billion and will drop a further $2 billion off the final price by taking some items from the armory.
"It may be less than $16bn she ends up having to come up with once I get it all totalled up. I kind of want her to tell people I'm not such a bad guy though if I'm taking a hit like this. Honestly, my gameplay is kinda ruined already I think. I'm not sure anything I do can save my rep after making such a big ass out of myself. At least however many years down the line I won't have scammer attached to my name in that light."
If MrSands is true to his word, he should be commended for taking a financial hit on behalf of the real scammer, SoftRising. Let's hope that Sharkeyfive and tinytown do manage to come up with the money before it's too late. Although even if they buy PR back, nobody is quite sure who will lead them, as Sharkeyfive claims doing so is impossible while he is unable to chat.
Pictured: Sharkeyfive's message to bogie, courtesy of Sharkeyfive.
Sharkeyfive's chat ban currently has 27 years left to run.
XANAX IS ONLY FOR CHAINS
Many of Torn's leaders are having fun with the new faction rank system and the ability to give their members customised titles to indicate their responsibilities. But it appears the leaders of Get Stuffed have discovered a new way to use this feature, punishment, as ACtheKiller explains:
"Well basically I was using the faction's Xanax instead of my own, and they just kept blocking me from the drug section of the armory for like a month at a time but I don't think they ever explicitly told me to stop using it. And then at one point they changed my role from "Member" to "XANAX IS ONLY FOR CHAINS"."
UPDATE: Boomchicken contacted The Times to inform us that ACtheKiller's rank has been changed again:
CHAIN REACTION MAKE FRIENDS
Several sources contacted The Times recently to let us know that Chain Reaction had purchased Catalysis, a top 20 HoF faction with 5.5 million respect. Evidence of this purchase can be seen in the fact that Catalysis have now changed their emblem; you know, like when a lady gets her spicy new lover's name tattooed just above her buttcrack.
Pictured: A coincidence? No, probably not.
CR have been less overt in their acquisition of Nuclear Blast, who they have now recruited as a proxy faction. Nuclear Blast possess 4.5m respect and are 36th in the HoF. We are unsure as to whether the other Nuke factions are included in this deal, but we suspect they might be. When CR's leader was questioned over these proxy plans, MeanMike had the following to say.
"We have no plans to war anyone, but I'm sure others would like to take a crack at us one day, so when they do, we would just like to be ready. We were the only top 5 faction without a sub, so we just wanna keep up with those around us."
DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO
What if we don't want to have a great day, huh?
SNEAKY SNEAKER STORY
Earlier this week we published VitaGreta's Torn Treasure Tales article, a collection of Torn trading tales inspired by Chohivzla and her Sports Sneakers. Chohivzla won a pair of Sports Sneakers in Duke's Lottery and sold them for $7bn to a friend, who then flipped the item for several billion more shortly after. Many had sympathy with Chohivzla after this incident, but it appears that this sympathy was misplaced, as she believes she made the right choice.
"When they told me that during the day I was going to receive the award, they warned me that many people were going to try to buy them but also that they wanted to scam me a lot (remember that I am a low-level character and only a few days in TORN), that's why I decided to sell it to a good friend in TORN who made arrangements for the sale to be made safely."
Chohivzla went on to say how she was happy to have made $7 billion from nothing, and her friend, who remains unnamed, earned $3-5 billion simply from trying hard. She says that the person she sold the sneakers to is something of a mentor, one who still teaches her the ways of Torn to this day. Conversely, Chohivzla believes the real villain of the piece is the person who bought the sneakers from her friend, the infamous MightyGoober.
"I have seen what he had been saying about me in the newspaper and as he is who desperately wanted Sports sneakers. This was the true story. He offered me $10b for them but as first I didn't respond he got angry and showed his true colours, and then he got other people to message me and also my friend sent me a screenshot of mightygoober saying let's try trade mugging me the newbie."
MightyGoober was hilariously kicked from the Committee after he fell for a sting operation where we published fake sensitive information about Firewalk viruses in the newspaper's reporting panel. Chohivzla says MG has no negotiation skills and no manners while talking to a lady, and claimed that he also scammed a friend of hers who made him a custom pin for $5 million.
"MG reached out to them and got them to make one and after all that work and after taking the pin, the seller asked "You can transfer the 5m when ready" and MightyGoober said "Wow, you charge for this shit?, I didn't realise " having a nw in the billions he was happy to waste someone's time and did not pay up which is technically a scam as the pin was made. These kind of people/scammers I would rather not trade with myself, he could've offered me 50b for them and I would rather not sell to trash like him."
THE WAITING GAME
Nhatanh claims to have over 300 items waiting for them to claim on the City Map. Can anyone beat this absolute mess?
FORCED MARRIAGE IN TORN?
There are many differing opinions on the subject of forced marriage, with some describing it as an outdated institution, and other, less aesthetically pleasing individuals deeming it a worthwhile alternative to celebrating Palm Sunday every day of the week. But this isn't an issue we ever thought we'd have to deal with in Torn until Cha_Ching shared the story of one poor woman who was reportedly forced into a romantic partnership by her faction.
Cha_Ching: Are you giving thought to remarriage?
ANON: Yeah, but my factionleaders is the one who choose who.
Cha_Ching: Are you going to make your own choice next time?
ANON: No, my faction leaders will.
Cha_Ching told The Times he was shocked at this situation, claiming he had "never heard of such s**t like this before." He went on to compare the situation to slavery and wondered how common this practice could be in Torn City. We wondered the same, but then we interviewed our unwilling bride and heard a different story altogether.
"It's not like they tell you whom to marry, but I got signed up with REDACTED when I was new because he had a PI, and I had nothing. So it's not forced, I could have chosen to not marry, and choose someone of my own choice but maybe end up with less of the benefits."
"I only told Cha_Ching I was forced because he started asking if I wanted to marry someone else, so it was easier to stop the conversation that way. It seemed he wanted to go in the direction of me marrying him."
WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS
ToxicMonkeyMZC narrowly missed out on the URT quarter-finals this month, but at least he can console himself with the fact that he currently holds every single class record for the Withdrawal track.
"As far as I know this is unprecedented and maybe worth a snippet in the paper? I share the class D record with Schizophrenic (will be working on that) and Lumbricus matched my class A record but always remains 2nd. The lower classes flip between the same time records (something wrong there)."
As Toxic suggests, it used to be the case that refreshing the statistics page would alternate the results displayed if two drivers had achieved the same record time. This bug / feature was removed after he brought attention to it, but we wish Toxic well in his endeavour to improve on the best Class D time and achieve an outright clean sweep of the Withdrawal track records.
STOCKBOY SHARES HIS STORY
Nuclear Armageddon leader Stockboy left the faction this month, and in an exclusive interview with the Torn City Times, he revealed precisely why he did so. His full statement can be read here, but the jist of it is that he doesn't like Lat, with her behaviour, playstyle and personality making him worried about the future direction of the faction.
"Lat tends to work solo, she negotiates in private and terms are usually vague. In her mind, everything is clear and when we ask her to stop private negotiations, she blames the other party about it instead of learning from it. The termed war between London and Nuclear Armageddon is an example of that."
Stockboy says that Lat failed to heed the lessons of her failures, and this led her to act in an increasingly aggressive manner towards other factions. This behaviour reportedly jeopardised Nuke's relationships with their allies, and when Lat and Stockboy could not come to an agreement on the future of wall exchanging, he felt like there was no future for him within Nuclear Armageddon anymore.
"Since I left, many members have asked me to come back. I love Nuke, I love Nukers, I wish them the best."
REVIVER RECORD
Last month WhiteRabbit of Health-Hare United told us that their faction was attempting to get to 10k revives from a base of 0 in 13 to 15 weeks. They wondered what the record was, and whether their attempt would break it. Alienxbreed contacted The Times to suggest that this timeframe may be a little excessive, given their own personal exploits in the revive business.
"I went for revive merits and I think that calculation is a bit over. It can be done less than 3 months. I did 1,000 revives in 21 days. Could be less, around 15-18 days. But half of these times I didn't use prf and few days had busy irl. So it could be done by month if 10 members are that active on timer with revives like I was."
HOW TO GET YOUR MONEY BACK
Given that faction vault raids are becoming all too common lately, we thought we'd pass on a little advice on how to deal with a thief when the time comes. Forphucsake was the co-leader of ELITE when Shminiganz stole $13 billion from the faction earlier this year. Here's the story of how they managed to get that money back.
"I was co when Shmin stole the 13b and can confirm that I managed to get it back as TCSE stocks that had dropped to be worth about 11.5b. It was resold and put back for the members. repeatedly over the course of a few weeks... some good cop/bad cop stuff of being friendly or downright abusing him. He... can't remember what he said 2 minutes ago and repeats himself which gets very tiring."
So there you have it. If someone has stolen billions from your faction's vault, just do whatever they do in the movies, and maybe you'll get it back! I only wish I'd employed the good cop bad cop technique on Shminiganz when I interviewed him, as maybe it would have ended on a more positive note.
Pictured: A scathing review.
YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME
Towards the end of July, Big_Rico posted a thread in Achievements in which he revealed that he'd recently been buy-mugged in his sleep. Big_Rico mistimed a self-hosp using blood bags and went to slumberland with his bazaar wide open. When he woke up, he saw his fellow NS members valiantly trying to save his ass, but when all was said and done, Rico was down $177 million thanks to buymugs.
Big_Rico has been accused of this practice himself, so some may see this incident as karma rectifying itself. And that might be true, if it wasn't for the fact that not long after, JayBragga accidentally sent Big_Rico $2 billion which was intended for Proxima. Big_Rico was kind enough to share the chat log of his interactions with JayBragga in the immediate aftermath of this goof.
JayBragga: fml
JayBragga: lol enjoy that cash lmao just one of those days
Big_Rico: Hey man, just wondering, could I get another bit of cash? Trying to get rich you see
JayBragga: fixing to get my payday too haha
JayBragga: I'm not really even upset tbh. life is about lessons learned.
Big_Rico: I was upset I fell asleep and allowed the mug, took a few minutes at 1am to see your event lol
Big_Rico: Saw your chat first
JayBragga: lol I know better to play with money when i've been drinking. side that with rushing to put fuel in the 4 wheeler for the wife and was a recipe for disaster.
JayBragga: made for a great thread tho lol
Big_Rico: For sure
Big_Rico told The Times that "as an upstanding citizen, of course, I gave the cash back." We have discovered this claim to be untrue, and that means JayBragga is $4 billion down, as he still had to pay back Proxima's $2 billion due to his mistake - a mistake which he bravely decided to blame on his beloved other half.
"My wife was waiting for me to put fuel in the 4 wheeler and had the "I'm waiting" look at me. So while watching the fight during the 166m mug. I had prox and rico's page open. (Proxima's to send money back) (rico's to watch life drop) When the mug turned sour. I went to send back the money without actually reading any tabs, thinking I was on Proxima's page and confirmed. No I didn't get the money back... I didn't expect the money to be returned. Only cause any angle I see, I myself would have said I'm keeping it."
Let's hope JayBragga's wife doesn't play Torn.
THE BILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY BILL
Members of The Inquisition have been licking their wounds recently after a costly defeat at the hands of LONDON, who followed up by bountying their vanquished foes for a total of $1.2 billion.
This incident stemmed from an attempt by The Inquisition to take LONDON's territories, having realised they had space for one more. The attack began with promise as the walls were in their favour and The Inquisition looked to be winning. The tide changed when LONDON's leader Archer hired revivers and mercs to fight back, and he finished the job by ordering over a billion worth of bounties to be placed on their opponents - although Arnout, the leader of The Inquisition, says it was more.
"Your 1.2bil estimation seems a bit short to me, seeing we were bounties so, so much. Mostly from Pops and Jai who were as of the start of the war in 39th, they later joined JUX and MorbidPinky was the name? also started the bounties. At one point our medical cooldowns ran up without actually having a war with london. We were obviously frustrated hoping to challenge them fairly in a 1v1 fight."
Arnout believes LONDON responded so aggressively due to his links to HT-, where he was once part of the leadership team. He insists The Inquisition are now their own faction, but LONDON's leadership clearly don't agree, as they even went so far as to place $400k bounties on their level 12 players. We do not know exactly how much LONDON spent on bounties, but some have suggested the true figure is close to $2 billion, which is roughly enough to buy a small one-bed apartment under a car park in Chelsea.
SMALL-TIME SCAMMER
How much would tempt you to scam your own faction? A billion? Ten billion? A hundred billion? It's hard to forge a life in Torn after you've pulled the trigger and made off with your side's vault contents, so if you're going to do it, you'll probably want to set yourself up for life with the proceeds.
But how much would you need to do this? A player called antsie thinks you don't need that much, as Caleian got in touch with The Times to tell us how he confessed his crimes to him during a recent discussion over a trade. Here is an excerpt from Caleian's conversation with this master criminal.
Caleian: Which faction?
antsie: Ferocious. Superior- faction
Caleian: What made you want to scam them?
antsie: Dunno tbh
antsie: I had access since day one then one day I thought I'll do it
Caleian: Like how much cash value did you get?
antsie: Was like 2-3 days ago
Caleian: How much did you get? Do you have events proving you scammed them?
antsie: $168mil in items and I just have events that says me giving me the items
antsie: 3 armalites
Caleian: You became a faction scammer for 168m?
Apparently so. It appears that $168 million of items is all you need to exist in Torn forever and ever Amen. antsie's "haul" included five jackhammers, 9 DBKs, 1,400 Morphines, 600 LSD, 200 Ecstasy, 36 Xanax, 400 SFAKs, and 160 FAKs. To be honest, I'd say Ferocious did well out of this situation, as they effectively paid $168 million to be rid of a vault thief.
NOTE: We have been alerted by ORAN to the fact that the leader of Ferocious, backsoonIhope, is the player formerly known as S98 / Superior- / 100T, who infamously scammed Reformer for $25bn and ORAN for $2.8bn.
VAULT THEFT IMMINENT?
We faced a moral dilemma at the Torn City Times this week when a player confessed to Pastor Williams that they were about to empty their faction's vault.
Confessions are supposed to be anonymous, but in this instance, we decided that the security of a faction was more important, so we outed the bastard to his leaders. We believe confessions should be private, but it's not really a confession if you haven't done it yet, it's a statement of intent, and we have never promised to keep those anonymous. That's our line on this matter, and we're sticking to it like bare buttcheeks to a leather couch on a hot summer's day.
Pastor Williams agrees with our decision, and that means God does too. Which God? All of them, I guess.
"Those who confess a sin of the past are welcome to my judgement. Those who profess a sin of the future are subject to my wrath. That sounds like a groovy quote, right? Something that people might listen to. Make sure you only print the first part, not all of this bit where I'm talking afterwards. That'd be stupid. Don't make me look stupid. I am a man of several Gods." - Pastor Williams
The Torn City Times informed the player's faction of their member's plan to betray them, and disaster was averted. Although we were intrigued to see that he remains a member of the faction. There's just no helping some people.
RENT PRICES PLUMMET
LamLloyd contacted The Times to brag about a fantastic deal he got on a recent rental property. Do you know who leased this PI for such a low amount?
PHOENIX RISING... FALLING... RISING AGAIN?
Sharkeyfive and tinytown are currently in negotiations with MrSands to buy back Atlas Society, formerly known as Phoenix Rising, at a discounted rate after it was sold unlawfully by SoftRising for $20bn earlier this month. In last week's article, MrSands was roundly criticised for his reaction to the revelation that SoftRising did not own Phoenix Rising, as he tried to justify his actions in keeping what was essentially stolen property. But according to MeanMike, who has been involved as a mediator on this issue, a refund may soon be on the cards.
"MrSands has offered to cancel the deal, take his money back from SoftRising and give PR back to Tinytown. We had a nice talk about reputation and doing the right thing, and SoftRising told me flat out that he has the money."
The only problem is that SoftRising hasn't been seen in several days, so Sharkeyfive and tinytown are trying to raise the funds themselves. MrSands has graciously offered to reduce the buyback price to the pair by $2 billion and will drop a further $2 billion off the final price by taking some items from the armory.
"It may be less than $16bn she ends up having to come up with once I get it all totalled up. I kind of want her to tell people I'm not such a bad guy though if I'm taking a hit like this. Honestly, my gameplay is kinda ruined already I think. I'm not sure anything I do can save my rep after making such a big ass out of myself. At least however many years down the line I won't have scammer attached to my name in that light."
If MrSands is true to his word, he should be commended for taking a financial hit on behalf of the real scammer, SoftRising. Let's hope that Sharkeyfive and tinytown do manage to come up with the money before it's too late. Although even if they buy PR back, nobody is quite sure who will lead them, as Sharkeyfive claims doing so is impossible while he is unable to chat.
Pictured: Sharkeyfive's message to bogie, courtesy of Sharkeyfive.
Sharkeyfive's chat ban currently has 27 years left to run.
XANAX IS ONLY FOR CHAINS
Many of Torn's leaders are having fun with the new faction rank system and the ability to give their members customised titles to indicate their responsibilities. But it appears the leaders of Get Stuffed have discovered a new way to use this feature, punishment, as ACtheKiller explains:
"Well basically I was using the faction's Xanax instead of my own, and they just kept blocking me from the drug section of the armory for like a month at a time but I don't think they ever explicitly told me to stop using it. And then at one point they changed my role from "Member" to "XANAX IS ONLY FOR CHAINS"."
UPDATE: Boomchicken contacted The Times to inform us that ACtheKiller's rank has been changed again:
CHAIN REACTION MAKE FRIENDS
Several sources contacted The Times recently to let us know that Chain Reaction had purchased Catalysis, a top 20 HoF faction with 5.5 million respect. Evidence of this purchase can be seen in the fact that Catalysis have now changed their emblem; you know, like when a lady gets her spicy new lover's name tattooed just above her buttcrack.
Pictured: A coincidence? No, probably not.
CR have been less overt in their acquisition of Nuclear Blast, who they have now recruited as a proxy faction. Nuclear Blast possess 4.5m respect and are 36th in the HoF. We are unsure as to whether the other Nuke factions are included in this deal, but we suspect they might be. When CR's leader was questioned over these proxy plans, MeanMike had the following to say.
"We have no plans to war anyone, but I'm sure others would like to take a crack at us one day, so when they do, we would just like to be ready. We were the only top 5 faction without a sub, so we just wanna keep up with those around us."
DON'T TELL US WHAT TO DO
What if we don't want to have a great day, huh?
SNEAKY SNEAKER STORY
Earlier this week we published VitaGreta's Torn Treasure Tales article, a collection of Torn trading tales inspired by Chohivzla and her Sports Sneakers. Chohivzla won a pair of Sports Sneakers in Duke's Lottery and sold them for $7bn to a friend, who then flipped the item for several billion more shortly after. Many had sympathy with Chohivzla after this incident, but it appears that this sympathy was misplaced, as she believes she made the right choice.
"When they told me that during the day I was going to receive the award, they warned me that many people were going to try to buy them but also that they wanted to scam me a lot (remember that I am a low-level character and only a few days in TORN), that's why I decided to sell it to a good friend in TORN who made arrangements for the sale to be made safely."
Chohivzla went on to say how she was happy to have made $7 billion from nothing, and her friend, who remains unnamed, earned $3-5 billion simply from trying hard. She says that the person she sold the sneakers to is something of a mentor, one who still teaches her the ways of Torn to this day. Conversely, Chohivzla believes the real villain of the piece is the person who bought the sneakers from her friend, the infamous MightyGoober.
"I have seen what he had been saying about me in the newspaper and as he is who desperately wanted Sports sneakers. This was the true story. He offered me $10b for them but as first I didn't respond he got angry and showed his true colours, and then he got other people to message me and also my friend sent me a screenshot of mightygoober saying let's try trade mugging me the newbie."
MightyGoober was hilariously kicked from the Committee after he fell for a sting operation where we published fake sensitive information about Firewalk viruses in the newspaper's reporting panel. Chohivzla says MG has no negotiation skills and no manners while talking to a lady, and claimed that he also scammed a friend of hers who made him a custom pin for $5 million.
"MG reached out to them and got them to make one and after all that work and after taking the pin, the seller asked "You can transfer the 5m when ready" and MightyGoober said "Wow, you charge for this shit?, I didn't realise " having a nw in the billions he was happy to waste someone's time and did not pay up which is technically a scam as the pin was made. These kind of people/scammers I would rather not trade with myself, he could've offered me 50b for them and I would rather not sell to trash like him."
THE WAITING GAME
Nhatanh claims to have over 300 items waiting for them to claim on the City Map. Can anyone beat this absolute mess?
FORCED MARRIAGE IN TORN?
There are many differing opinions on the subject of forced marriage, with some describing it as an outdated institution, and other, less aesthetically pleasing individuals deeming it a worthwhile alternative to celebrating Palm Sunday every day of the week. But this isn't an issue we ever thought we'd have to deal with in Torn until Cha_Ching shared the story of one poor woman who was reportedly forced into a romantic partnership by her faction.
Cha_Ching: Are you giving thought to remarriage?
ANON: Yeah, but my factionleaders is the one who choose who.
Cha_Ching: Are you going to make your own choice next time?
ANON: No, my faction leaders will.
Cha_Ching told The Times he was shocked at this situation, claiming he had "never heard of such s**t like this before." He went on to compare the situation to slavery and wondered how common this practice could be in Torn City. We wondered the same, but then we interviewed our unwilling bride and heard a different story altogether.
"It's not like they tell you whom to marry, but I got signed up with REDACTED when I was new because he had a PI, and I had nothing. So it's not forced, I could have chosen to not marry, and choose someone of my own choice but maybe end up with less of the benefits."
"I only told Cha_Ching I was forced because he started asking if I wanted to marry someone else, so it was easier to stop the conversation that way. It seemed he wanted to go in the direction of me marrying him."
WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS
ToxicMonkeyMZC narrowly missed out on the URT quarter-finals this month, but at least he can console himself with the fact that he currently holds every single class record for the Withdrawal track.
"As far as I know this is unprecedented and maybe worth a snippet in the paper? I share the class D record with Schizophrenic (will be working on that) and Lumbricus matched my class A record but always remains 2nd. The lower classes flip between the same time records (something wrong there)."
As Toxic suggests, it used to be the case that refreshing the statistics page would alternate the results displayed if two drivers had achieved the same record time. This bug / feature was removed after he brought attention to it, but we wish Toxic well in his endeavour to improve on the best Class D time and achieve an outright clean sweep of the Withdrawal track records.
STOCKBOY SHARES HIS STORY
Nuclear Armageddon leader Stockboy left the faction this month, and in an exclusive interview with the Torn City Times, he revealed precisely why he did so. His full statement can be read here, but the jist of it is that he doesn't like Lat, with her behaviour, playstyle and personality making him worried about the future direction of the faction.
"Lat tends to work solo, she negotiates in private and terms are usually vague. In her mind, everything is clear and when we ask her to stop private negotiations, she blames the other party about it instead of learning from it. The termed war between London and Nuclear Armageddon is an example of that."
Stockboy says that Lat failed to heed the lessons of her failures, and this led her to act in an increasingly aggressive manner towards other factions. This behaviour reportedly jeopardised Nuke's relationships with their allies, and when Lat and Stockboy could not come to an agreement on the future of wall exchanging, he felt like there was no future for him within Nuclear Armageddon anymore.
"Since I left, many members have asked me to come back. I love Nuke, I love Nukers, I wish them the best."
REVIVER RECORD
Last month WhiteRabbit of Health-Hare United told us that their faction was attempting to get to 10k revives from a base of 0 in 13 to 15 weeks. They wondered what the record was, and whether their attempt would break it. Alienxbreed contacted The Times to suggest that this timeframe may be a little excessive, given their own personal exploits in the revive business.
"I went for revive merits and I think that calculation is a bit over. It can be done less than 3 months. I did 1,000 revives in 21 days. Could be less, around 15-18 days. But half of these times I didn't use prf and few days had busy irl. So it could be done by month if 10 members are that active on timer with revives like I was."
HOW TO GET YOUR MONEY BACK
Given that faction vault raids are becoming all too common lately, we thought we'd pass on a little advice on how to deal with a thief when the time comes. Forphucsake was the co-leader of ELITE when Shminiganz stole $13 billion from the faction earlier this year. Here's the story of how they managed to get that money back.
"I was co when Shmin stole the 13b and can confirm that I managed to get it back as TCSE stocks that had dropped to be worth about 11.5b. It was resold and put back for the members. repeatedly over the course of a few weeks... some good cop/bad cop stuff of being friendly or downright abusing him. He... can't remember what he said 2 minutes ago and repeats himself which gets very tiring."
So there you have it. If someone has stolen billions from your faction's vault, just do whatever they do in the movies, and maybe you'll get it back! I only wish I'd employed the good cop bad cop technique on Shminiganz when I interviewed him, as maybe it would have ended on a more positive note.
Pictured: A scathing review.
YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME
Towards the end of July, Big_Rico posted a thread in Achievements in which he revealed that he'd recently been buy-mugged in his sleep. Big_Rico mistimed a self-hosp using blood bags and went to slumberland with his bazaar wide open. When he woke up, he saw his fellow NS members valiantly trying to save his ass, but when all was said and done, Rico was down $177 million thanks to buymugs.
Big_Rico has been accused of this practice himself, so some may see this incident as karma rectifying itself. And that might be true, if it wasn't for the fact that not long after, JayBragga accidentally sent Big_Rico $2 billion which was intended for Proxima. Big_Rico was kind enough to share the chat log of his interactions with JayBragga in the immediate aftermath of this goof.
JayBragga: fml
JayBragga: lol enjoy that cash lmao just one of those days
Big_Rico: Hey man, just wondering, could I get another bit of cash? Trying to get rich you see
JayBragga: fixing to get my payday too haha
JayBragga: I'm not really even upset tbh. life is about lessons learned.
Big_Rico: I was upset I fell asleep and allowed the mug, took a few minutes at 1am to see your event lol
Big_Rico: Saw your chat first
JayBragga: lol I know better to play with money when i've been drinking. side that with rushing to put fuel in the 4 wheeler for the wife and was a recipe for disaster.
JayBragga: made for a great thread tho lol
Big_Rico: For sure
Big_Rico told The Times that "as an upstanding citizen, of course, I gave the cash back." We have discovered this claim to be untrue, and that means JayBragga is $4 billion down, as he still had to pay back Proxima's $2 billion due to his mistake - a mistake which he bravely decided to blame on his beloved other half.
"My wife was waiting for me to put fuel in the 4 wheeler and had the "I'm waiting" look at me. So while watching the fight during the 166m mug. I had prox and rico's page open. (Proxima's to send money back) (rico's to watch life drop) When the mug turned sour. I went to send back the money without actually reading any tabs, thinking I was on Proxima's page and confirmed. No I didn't get the money back... I didn't expect the money to be returned. Only cause any angle I see, I myself would have said I'm keeping it."
Let's hope JayBragga's wife doesn't play Torn.
THE BILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY BILL
Members of The Inquisition have been licking their wounds recently after a costly defeat at the hands of LONDON, who followed up by bountying their vanquished foes for a total of $1.2 billion.
This incident stemmed from an attempt by The Inquisition to take LONDON's territories, having realised they had space for one more. The attack began with promise as the walls were in their favour and The Inquisition looked to be winning. The tide changed when LONDON's leader Archer hired revivers and mercs to fight back, and he finished the job by ordering over a billion worth of bounties to be placed on their opponents - although Arnout, the leader of The Inquisition, says it was more.
"Your 1.2bil estimation seems a bit short to me, seeing we were bounties so, so much. Mostly from Pops and Jai who were as of the start of the war in 39th, they later joined JUX and MorbidPinky was the name? also started the bounties. At one point our medical cooldowns ran up without actually having a war with london. We were obviously frustrated hoping to challenge them fairly in a 1v1 fight."
Arnout believes LONDON responded so aggressively due to his links to HT-, where he was once part of the leadership team. He insists The Inquisition are now their own faction, but LONDON's leadership clearly don't agree, as they even went so far as to place $400k bounties on their level 12 players. We do not know exactly how much LONDON spent on bounties, but some have suggested the true figure is close to $2 billion, which is roughly enough to buy a small one-bed apartment under a car park in Chelsea.
SMALL-TIME SCAMMER
How much would tempt you to scam your own faction? A billion? Ten billion? A hundred billion? It's hard to forge a life in Torn after you've pulled the trigger and made off with your side's vault contents, so if you're going to do it, you'll probably want to set yourself up for life with the proceeds.
But how much would you need to do this? A player called antsie thinks you don't need that much, as Caleian got in touch with The Times to tell us how he confessed his crimes to him during a recent discussion over a trade. Here is an excerpt from Caleian's conversation with this master criminal.
Caleian: Which faction?
antsie: Ferocious. Superior- faction
Caleian: What made you want to scam them?
antsie: Dunno tbh
antsie: I had access since day one then one day I thought I'll do it
Caleian: Like how much cash value did you get?
antsie: Was like 2-3 days ago
Caleian: How much did you get? Do you have events proving you scammed them?
antsie: $168mil in items and I just have events that says me giving me the items
antsie: 3 armalites
Caleian: You became a faction scammer for 168m?
Apparently so. It appears that $168 million of items is all you need to exist in Torn forever and ever Amen. antsie's "haul" included five jackhammers, 9 DBKs, 1,400 Morphines, 600 LSD, 200 Ecstasy, 36 Xanax, 400 SFAKs, and 160 FAKs. To be honest, I'd say Ferocious did well out of this situation, as they effectively paid $168 million to be rid of a vault thief.
NOTE: We have been alerted by ORAN to the fact that the leader of Ferocious, backsoonIhope, is the player formerly known as S98 / Superior- / 100T, who infamously scammed Reformer for $25bn and ORAN for $2.8bn.
Original article
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