sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Find out which raids were the most violent of all time, who is recruiting for a DB team, when Duke's next parcel giveaway is coming, and how to earn money as a freeviver in this month's Local News.
Our local news column was absent during Elimination as there is only so much gossip one man can process. But now we're back with a slate of short stories you may have missed from the past few weeks, along with a few snippets of breaking news too.
UPDATED RAIDING TABLE
Redxjak of The Brotherhood of War asked us for an updated raid table, as they believed their faction's 60,674 - 2,568 victory over TRANQUILITY may have been enough to make it into the top ten. I can confirm that BoW are ranked tenth in the list of the most destructive raid battles ever fought, which is good, as it gives me an excuse to publish the aforementioned raiding table.
MMCP 109,769 - 383,934 Vinerri
SMTH 76,613 - 67,236 Vinerri
The Wolverines 122,045 - 9,041 Black Dragon Society
UnLeashed 100,061 - 25,788 Catalysis
Ara Pacis 51,276 - 66,970 SMTH
JFK 106,395 - 38 Unrelenting
Sykoz 66,519 - 36,962 The Chimera's Den
MMCP 93,292 - 6,949 Hyperion
NS II 48,854 - 47,186 Chain Reaction
The Brotherhood of War 60,674 - 2,568 TRANQUILITY
BoW are sixth when it comes to the biggest margin of victory in a raid, with that table obviously being led by Vinerri after their comprehensive defeat of MMCP. The Wolverines are second, followed by JFK in third, MMCP in fourth, and UnLeashed in fifth. Here is the full raid table based on the largest margin of victory.
1st - Vinerri beat MMCP by 274,165
2nd - The Wolverines beat Black Dragon Society by 113,004
3rd - JFK beat Unrelenting by 106,357
4th - MMCP beat Hyperion by 86,343
5th - Unleashed beat Catalysis by 74,273
6th - Brotherhood of War beat TRANQUILITY by 58,106
7th - Subversive Alliance beat Hyperion by 57,646
8th - Chain Reaction beat 39th Street Killers by 56,810
9th - Subversive Alliance beat The Equalizer 3 United by 53,636
10th - SMTH beat Octogenarian Dirtybombers by 51,946
This table was correct as of the 23rd of October. However, based on current events, it may need to be updated in the near future, as both HT- and Subversive Alliance are currently involved in raids where their margin of victory is approaching or has exceeded 50,000.
DUKE'S PARCEL GIVEAWAY
Duke's parcel giveaway will return on the 31st of October. This simple event requires players to send Duke a specific amount of cash which you must guess by using the clue provided. Upon sending him the correct amount, players will receive a random parcel from Duke's collection within a few minutes. Players may send Duke this secret amount once every six hours, receiving a total of four parcels within the 24-hour window.
Here is the clue which Duke has provided for us this time:
"It ain't fair it ain't so wise I want one come on Chadburn the penny's gotta have dropped ain't it?"
A TOP TRADING TIP
"Hello, sometimes when I need hosp at night and my regulars are away, I just annoy dekloren or some other idiot hoping they'd hosp me." - ORAN
FREEVIVES GALORE
Despite the recent changes to territories which reduced reviving profits, revive work remains lucrative, and this has resulted in Torn becoming overrun with healers-for-hire. VeteranDemon told The Times that the oversaturated market made him question whether he'd done the right thing in joining HeLa. But then he had a brainwave. What if he could undercut every single healer in Torn by offering his services for free, and then asking for a donation?
"I took it upon myself to aim solely for the awards and not worry about making wealth out of reviving and then it hit me...give the feeble an option to reward me for free services. Quite simply you hand out free revives against overdoses, warehouse burns or being taken down by the likes of Duke and ask if they wish to donate towards your cause. then a thank you is apparent, other than that you wish them a good day and move onto the next!
VD, who will almost certainly not appreciate that initialism, says the response has been astonishing. He's received kind words and presents, ranging from boxes of chocolates through to entire catalogues of items. Xanax is the most commonly gifted reward, but one player, a newcomer, presented him with a Skateboard in return for his generosity, knowing full well the value of said item.
"This has bought me to seeing a side of Torn which is harder to find these days. So my question to you, the people, is there a place in Torn to give out charitable actions for profitable gain? Should someone seek out compensation for free action and does a good gesture go further than a devious plan? All I can say is in this short period the answer is yes!"
COMMUNISM IN ACTION
A player called xCoMmUnIsT seems intent on living up to their name by sharing their wealth with the community. A quick look at their networth graph indicates that this player has shed nearly $30 billion of assets in less than a month. Look at Karl Marx over here over there.
TheMonkeyMan alerted us to this situation after reporting that he had seen xCoMmUnIsT lose $9 billion in a single round of Russian Roulette - how apt.
"I was not involved. I saw it as an option to select. I clicked on his name to see about him, then about 10 seconds after that he was in the hospital for having shot his foot lmao. Not sure who gained the money though."
xCoMmUnIsT has refused to comment on the matter so far, but a little digging revealed that this player has shed large sums of money before. A forum post from September shows that xCoMmUnIsT lost $149m in a trade mug recently, so it may be that this massive RR loss was a simple, naive mistake.
Of course, it could also be the sign of a more sinister affair. Do you know who xCoMmUnIsT lost $9 billion to in a game of Russian Roulette? And where has the rest of their money gone? Contact the Torn City Times today.
NUKE SPOTS FOR SALE
Euphoria of Natural Selection II is reportedly selling spots in the faction while they try to build a Dirty Bomb. The current price to join is 90 Xanax, and buyers can expect to gain the Rare Discovery merit in return once the bomb has been created. There were only 17 spots on the team left when last we heard, but if other rumours are to be believed, there may be further opportunities coming soon, as one anonymous NS member revealed:
"NS is going for the record of most dbs dropped at once. Watch the skys this Christmas."
UPDATE: Euphoria denies that this bomb will be given to NS.
"This DB has been self-funded by me, I’ve got the cesium in 2 weeks myself. Probably will sell it, not necessarily to NS, I sold my last one to them. Appreciate the free ad tho."
THE DOUBLE FLUSH
Your percentage chance of being dealt a Royal Flush in a single game of poker is 0.000154%. A Royal Flush is the name given to a hand which contains the 10, Jack, Queen, King and Ace cards of the same suit. The only time most people ever see a royal flush is when they're watching Prince Andrew try to convince the world he's not a paedophile by claiming he cannot sweat.
Fuzzyketchup claims to have been dealt a Royal Flush twice - the poker hand, not the other thing - and has provided the following evidence for his claims.
Fuzzyketchup believes there should be a merit for receiving one Royal Flush, let alone two of them. What do you think? Should we create a new award or honor bar for this stroke of good fortune? Did Fuzzyketchup really receive two Royal Flushes? And is Prince Andrew really a massive *****? No, of course he isn't, and I'm certainly not defending him just because Lawyer Business Cards have doubled in price. Nope. Not at all. I'm sure he sweats like the best of us.
AN INCEL IS BORN
"I find it weird how the women are getting married to the rich private island owners." - Omanic
NOT SO SAFE
HD0G got in touch with the Times to tell us the story of how he discovered a disastrous change had been made to Torn overnight. In late September, HD0G took part in the Kidnapping The Mayor crime, one of the crimes which are known to be safe. At least they were... until a certain bug report changed everything.
A safe crime is one which does not result in you being jailed if you fail. Players who are trying to build their crime experience score (CE) need to avoid being jailed, as this affects your CE, which in turn affects your natural nerve bar. Kidnapping the Mayor will not result in you being sent to jail if you are holding $75k or more on you at the time, as you can bribe your way out of trouble if caught.
Pictured: The original crime result.
However, unbeknownst to HD0G and thousands of others, Torn changed the mechanics of this crime after a player called Blasted complained that this result didn't make sense. She took issue with the notion that an undercover cop would call the police, despite the fact that they themselves were an officer of the law. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to report, but it appears that the Torn authorities misread what Blasted was attempting to change.
"It started because of a misunderstanding. I created that post because of a typo I found. But somewhere along the line, I think Chedburn misunderstood why I created it." - Blasted
Instead of rewording the text to make the lore of this crime more realistic, Torn removed the bribery outcome entirely, resulting in more players being jailed after attempting it. HD0G was one of those players who suffered, and when the public demanded answers, Blasted's bug report was blamed and her name became aptronymous, as a slew of bounties were swiftly placed upon her.
"If the guy who started it spend every hour of the next week in the hospital, there are still about a dozen bounties that are going to expire. It's about as close as I've seen to someone getting tarred and feathered in this game." - HD0G
Pictured: The updated crime result.
Blasted told The Times that she had to stop trading and reduce her gameplay to simply logging in and using meds when all of her bars were full, such was the attention she received. Most of the bounties expired the following week, which she describes as a "final f-you to them all lol." Now that the attention has waned, Blasted feels she was unfairly made a scapegoat for an issue she clearly did not cause.
"Everyone was looking for someone to release their frustrations on, they couldn't do that on Chedburn so they turned to me."
This change was reverted in the light of the public's response, and Chedburn publicly commented that such things will occasionally happen due to the large number of small-scale changes made to Torn every week. The authorities have accepted blame for misinterpreting Blasted's bug report, but the community is yet to apologise or atone for the way she was hauled over the coals for an incident in which she was blameless. HD0G eventually conceded that Blasted was a little unlucky.
"Yeah he definitely wasn't trying to remove the pay condition, but as far as the overall reaction from the torn players... Welcome to the party pal!"
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
If you're a trader and a customer called Mme_Frank wants to purchase something, make sure the transaction goes through, as if it doesn't, you are officially his boy.
OUT IN THE COLD?
Bumfluff was browsing trade chat last month when ColdSystem, the co-leader of MMCP, accidentally posted the following comment:
This was interpreted by some as indicating that ColdSystem was stepping down from MMCP, but the man himself responded to The Times to tell us the true story behind this accidental leak:
"It was a message sent by my friend (ex mmcp leader, Nemesis) I was forwarding to another person and accidentally paste in trade."
ColdSystem went on to explain the reasoning behind Nemesis' departure:
"Umm.. about half of MMCP leaders are busy in their RL so they are semi-active for this moment, and nemesis was hyper active and they could not bring the activity that he wants. But MMCP members (oldies) are very sensitive in their faction image since the old days, when there is a war, they could stay active without sleeping."
ASKING FOR TROUBLE
"I'll be starting a trading business so feel free to give free stuff." - Trader-Joe
ABDULLAH THE SELL MUGGER
Many traders will have noticed that I often purchase large numbers of Donator Packs from them. I buy these items for a variety of reasons, including competition prizes, player event donations, and as payment for information. I try to buy as many of these myself as possible to avoid having to ask for Donator Packs to be generated, thus ensuring that my activities do not impact their market price.
Those of you who snitched on your Elimination teams will know that I was generous with my donations in return for gossip this year. One player who was not so generous was Abdullah, who proceeded to mug me for $55 million of Torn taxpayers' money after I purchased 15 Donator Packs from him.
It was foolish of me to carry such amounts on my person, and I can assure you it won't be happening again. I have heard that it is common for the community to punish sell-muggers by repeatedly buy-mugging them for approximately a month. I cannot condone such behaviour, and nor can I offer a prize to whoever makes the largest buy-mug on Abdullah over the course of the next thirty days.
HE DID THE MATHS
Krygyztan sent in some mathematical calculations to The Times pertaining to the explosive value of a Dirty Bomb.
"One SED (Small Explosive Device) is 3mil, 1 Cesium-137 is 300mil. 1 DB (Dirty Bomb) is 100 Cesiums, so 30bil, 30bil/3mil is 10000. Which means 1 DB is 10000 SED."
Of course, a Dirty Bomb on its own is often valued at around $25 billion, give or take, which instead gives us a value of 8,333 SEDs per single Dirty Bomb. What do you think? How explosive is a Dirty Bomb in terms of SEDs?
CITY FINDS RECORD
Several months ago, a player whose name I am too lazy to look up told The Times that they had 300 unclicked items on the City Finds section of their City Map. Our Community Manager Bogie beat that immediately with over 600 items on his, but Syrup has blown that record away with a total of 1,110. Can you beat that?
THE DEMISE OF ANATOLY
Do you own an Anatoly mask? Then you have a player called Invincible to thank for gradually raising its value.
Invincible: Hey would you make an article on something stupid I'm going to do?
sugarvalves: Depends what it is.
Invincible: Blowing up Anatoly masks.
sugarvalves: And how are you doing that? Putting them in parcels with SEDs?
Invincible: Yes sir, I already blew up 1.
Invincible: Next ill do 5
Invincible has destroyed six masks so far, defying Chedburn's desire to see an even 250 circulation of every individual mask item. Will Invincible continue with his murderous spree and slaughter more innocent Anatoly masks? Or might he turn his attentions to Greta, Donald Trump, or one of our new masks to be released at Christmas?
ELIMINATION LEFTOVERS
Kandge contacted The Times to thank us for naming them in the newspaper as one of the youngest hard-hitters in this year's Elimination. They also magnanimously suggested that we should mention someone else ahead of them, who they felt deserved the attention more.
"I've checked all the other young top hitters and it seems they're all filthy rich with dozens of billions networth. I feel like it's easy to make that many hits regardless of your age if you have this much money to blow. For that reason I wanted to give mad props to Sarosv who's got the same networth as me AND being way younger than me, I think he's the MVP of that section."
Sarosv, consider yourself mentioned!
TELL YOUR STORY
Have an interesting story to share? Contact Sugarvalves today and receive a Donator Pack if your story is published in the next edition of the Local News.
UPDATED RAIDING TABLE
Redxjak of The Brotherhood of War asked us for an updated raid table, as they believed their faction's 60,674 - 2,568 victory over TRANQUILITY may have been enough to make it into the top ten. I can confirm that BoW are ranked tenth in the list of the most destructive raid battles ever fought, which is good, as it gives me an excuse to publish the aforementioned raiding table.
MMCP 109,769 - 383,934 Vinerri
SMTH 76,613 - 67,236 Vinerri
The Wolverines 122,045 - 9,041 Black Dragon Society
UnLeashed 100,061 - 25,788 Catalysis
Ara Pacis 51,276 - 66,970 SMTH
JFK 106,395 - 38 Unrelenting
Sykoz 66,519 - 36,962 The Chimera's Den
MMCP 93,292 - 6,949 Hyperion
NS II 48,854 - 47,186 Chain Reaction
The Brotherhood of War 60,674 - 2,568 TRANQUILITY
BoW are sixth when it comes to the biggest margin of victory in a raid, with that table obviously being led by Vinerri after their comprehensive defeat of MMCP. The Wolverines are second, followed by JFK in third, MMCP in fourth, and UnLeashed in fifth. Here is the full raid table based on the largest margin of victory.
1st - Vinerri beat MMCP by 274,165
2nd - The Wolverines beat Black Dragon Society by 113,004
3rd - JFK beat Unrelenting by 106,357
4th - MMCP beat Hyperion by 86,343
5th - Unleashed beat Catalysis by 74,273
6th - Brotherhood of War beat TRANQUILITY by 58,106
7th - Subversive Alliance beat Hyperion by 57,646
8th - Chain Reaction beat 39th Street Killers by 56,810
9th - Subversive Alliance beat The Equalizer 3 United by 53,636
10th - SMTH beat Octogenarian Dirtybombers by 51,946
This table was correct as of the 23rd of October. However, based on current events, it may need to be updated in the near future, as both HT- and Subversive Alliance are currently involved in raids where their margin of victory is approaching or has exceeded 50,000.
DUKE'S PARCEL GIVEAWAY
Duke's parcel giveaway will return on the 31st of October. This simple event requires players to send Duke a specific amount of cash which you must guess by using the clue provided. Upon sending him the correct amount, players will receive a random parcel from Duke's collection within a few minutes. Players may send Duke this secret amount once every six hours, receiving a total of four parcels within the 24-hour window.
Here is the clue which Duke has provided for us this time:
"It ain't fair it ain't so wise I want one come on Chadburn the penny's gotta have dropped ain't it?"
A TOP TRADING TIP
"Hello, sometimes when I need hosp at night and my regulars are away, I just annoy dekloren or some other idiot hoping they'd hosp me." - ORAN
FREEVIVES GALORE
Despite the recent changes to territories which reduced reviving profits, revive work remains lucrative, and this has resulted in Torn becoming overrun with healers-for-hire. VeteranDemon told The Times that the oversaturated market made him question whether he'd done the right thing in joining HeLa. But then he had a brainwave. What if he could undercut every single healer in Torn by offering his services for free, and then asking for a donation?
"I took it upon myself to aim solely for the awards and not worry about making wealth out of reviving and then it hit me...give the feeble an option to reward me for free services. Quite simply you hand out free revives against overdoses, warehouse burns or being taken down by the likes of Duke and ask if they wish to donate towards your cause. then a thank you is apparent, other than that you wish them a good day and move onto the next!
VD, who will almost certainly not appreciate that initialism, says the response has been astonishing. He's received kind words and presents, ranging from boxes of chocolates through to entire catalogues of items. Xanax is the most commonly gifted reward, but one player, a newcomer, presented him with a Skateboard in return for his generosity, knowing full well the value of said item.
"This has bought me to seeing a side of Torn which is harder to find these days. So my question to you, the people, is there a place in Torn to give out charitable actions for profitable gain? Should someone seek out compensation for free action and does a good gesture go further than a devious plan? All I can say is in this short period the answer is yes!"
COMMUNISM IN ACTION
A player called xCoMmUnIsT seems intent on living up to their name by sharing their wealth with the community. A quick look at their networth graph indicates that this player has shed nearly $30 billion of assets in less than a month. Look at Karl Marx over here over there.
TheMonkeyMan alerted us to this situation after reporting that he had seen xCoMmUnIsT lose $9 billion in a single round of Russian Roulette - how apt.
"I was not involved. I saw it as an option to select. I clicked on his name to see about him, then about 10 seconds after that he was in the hospital for having shot his foot lmao. Not sure who gained the money though."
xCoMmUnIsT has refused to comment on the matter so far, but a little digging revealed that this player has shed large sums of money before. A forum post from September shows that xCoMmUnIsT lost $149m in a trade mug recently, so it may be that this massive RR loss was a simple, naive mistake.
Of course, it could also be the sign of a more sinister affair. Do you know who xCoMmUnIsT lost $9 billion to in a game of Russian Roulette? And where has the rest of their money gone? Contact the Torn City Times today.
NUKE SPOTS FOR SALE
Euphoria of Natural Selection II is reportedly selling spots in the faction while they try to build a Dirty Bomb. The current price to join is 90 Xanax, and buyers can expect to gain the Rare Discovery merit in return once the bomb has been created. There were only 17 spots on the team left when last we heard, but if other rumours are to be believed, there may be further opportunities coming soon, as one anonymous NS member revealed:
"NS is going for the record of most dbs dropped at once. Watch the skys this Christmas."
UPDATE: Euphoria denies that this bomb will be given to NS.
"This DB has been self-funded by me, I’ve got the cesium in 2 weeks myself. Probably will sell it, not necessarily to NS, I sold my last one to them. Appreciate the free ad tho."
THE DOUBLE FLUSH
Your percentage chance of being dealt a Royal Flush in a single game of poker is 0.000154%. A Royal Flush is the name given to a hand which contains the 10, Jack, Queen, King and Ace cards of the same suit. The only time most people ever see a royal flush is when they're watching Prince Andrew try to convince the world he's not a paedophile by claiming he cannot sweat.
Fuzzyketchup claims to have been dealt a Royal Flush twice - the poker hand, not the other thing - and has provided the following evidence for his claims.
Fuzzyketchup believes there should be a merit for receiving one Royal Flush, let alone two of them. What do you think? Should we create a new award or honor bar for this stroke of good fortune? Did Fuzzyketchup really receive two Royal Flushes? And is Prince Andrew really a massive *****? No, of course he isn't, and I'm certainly not defending him just because Lawyer Business Cards have doubled in price. Nope. Not at all. I'm sure he sweats like the best of us.
AN INCEL IS BORN
"I find it weird how the women are getting married to the rich private island owners." - Omanic
NOT SO SAFE
HD0G got in touch with the Times to tell us the story of how he discovered a disastrous change had been made to Torn overnight. In late September, HD0G took part in the Kidnapping The Mayor crime, one of the crimes which are known to be safe. At least they were... until a certain bug report changed everything.
A safe crime is one which does not result in you being jailed if you fail. Players who are trying to build their crime experience score (CE) need to avoid being jailed, as this affects your CE, which in turn affects your natural nerve bar. Kidnapping the Mayor will not result in you being sent to jail if you are holding $75k or more on you at the time, as you can bribe your way out of trouble if caught.
Pictured: The original crime result.
However, unbeknownst to HD0G and thousands of others, Torn changed the mechanics of this crime after a player called Blasted complained that this result didn't make sense. She took issue with the notion that an undercover cop would call the police, despite the fact that they themselves were an officer of the law. This is a perfectly reasonable thing to report, but it appears that the Torn authorities misread what Blasted was attempting to change.
"It started because of a misunderstanding. I created that post because of a typo I found. But somewhere along the line, I think Chedburn misunderstood why I created it." - Blasted
Instead of rewording the text to make the lore of this crime more realistic, Torn removed the bribery outcome entirely, resulting in more players being jailed after attempting it. HD0G was one of those players who suffered, and when the public demanded answers, Blasted's bug report was blamed and her name became aptronymous, as a slew of bounties were swiftly placed upon her.
"If the guy who started it spend every hour of the next week in the hospital, there are still about a dozen bounties that are going to expire. It's about as close as I've seen to someone getting tarred and feathered in this game." - HD0G
Pictured: The updated crime result.
Blasted told The Times that she had to stop trading and reduce her gameplay to simply logging in and using meds when all of her bars were full, such was the attention she received. Most of the bounties expired the following week, which she describes as a "final f-you to them all lol." Now that the attention has waned, Blasted feels she was unfairly made a scapegoat for an issue she clearly did not cause.
"Everyone was looking for someone to release their frustrations on, they couldn't do that on Chedburn so they turned to me."
This change was reverted in the light of the public's response, and Chedburn publicly commented that such things will occasionally happen due to the large number of small-scale changes made to Torn every week. The authorities have accepted blame for misinterpreting Blasted's bug report, but the community is yet to apologise or atone for the way she was hauled over the coals for an incident in which she was blameless. HD0G eventually conceded that Blasted was a little unlucky.
"Yeah he definitely wasn't trying to remove the pay condition, but as far as the overall reaction from the torn players... Welcome to the party pal!"
THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT
If you're a trader and a customer called Mme_Frank wants to purchase something, make sure the transaction goes through, as if it doesn't, you are officially his boy.
OUT IN THE COLD?
Bumfluff was browsing trade chat last month when ColdSystem, the co-leader of MMCP, accidentally posted the following comment:
This was interpreted by some as indicating that ColdSystem was stepping down from MMCP, but the man himself responded to The Times to tell us the true story behind this accidental leak:
"It was a message sent by my friend (ex mmcp leader, Nemesis) I was forwarding to another person and accidentally paste in trade."
ColdSystem went on to explain the reasoning behind Nemesis' departure:
"Umm.. about half of MMCP leaders are busy in their RL so they are semi-active for this moment, and nemesis was hyper active and they could not bring the activity that he wants. But MMCP members (oldies) are very sensitive in their faction image since the old days, when there is a war, they could stay active without sleeping."
ASKING FOR TROUBLE
"I'll be starting a trading business so feel free to give free stuff." - Trader-Joe
ABDULLAH THE SELL MUGGER
Many traders will have noticed that I often purchase large numbers of Donator Packs from them. I buy these items for a variety of reasons, including competition prizes, player event donations, and as payment for information. I try to buy as many of these myself as possible to avoid having to ask for Donator Packs to be generated, thus ensuring that my activities do not impact their market price.
Those of you who snitched on your Elimination teams will know that I was generous with my donations in return for gossip this year. One player who was not so generous was Abdullah, who proceeded to mug me for $55 million of Torn taxpayers' money after I purchased 15 Donator Packs from him.
It was foolish of me to carry such amounts on my person, and I can assure you it won't be happening again. I have heard that it is common for the community to punish sell-muggers by repeatedly buy-mugging them for approximately a month. I cannot condone such behaviour, and nor can I offer a prize to whoever makes the largest buy-mug on Abdullah over the course of the next thirty days.
HE DID THE MATHS
Krygyztan sent in some mathematical calculations to The Times pertaining to the explosive value of a Dirty Bomb.
"One SED (Small Explosive Device) is 3mil, 1 Cesium-137 is 300mil. 1 DB (Dirty Bomb) is 100 Cesiums, so 30bil, 30bil/3mil is 10000. Which means 1 DB is 10000 SED."
Of course, a Dirty Bomb on its own is often valued at around $25 billion, give or take, which instead gives us a value of 8,333 SEDs per single Dirty Bomb. What do you think? How explosive is a Dirty Bomb in terms of SEDs?
CITY FINDS RECORD
Several months ago, a player whose name I am too lazy to look up told The Times that they had 300 unclicked items on the City Finds section of their City Map. Our Community Manager Bogie beat that immediately with over 600 items on his, but Syrup has blown that record away with a total of 1,110. Can you beat that?
THE DEMISE OF ANATOLY
Do you own an Anatoly mask? Then you have a player called Invincible to thank for gradually raising its value.
Invincible: Hey would you make an article on something stupid I'm going to do?
sugarvalves: Depends what it is.
Invincible: Blowing up Anatoly masks.
sugarvalves: And how are you doing that? Putting them in parcels with SEDs?
Invincible: Yes sir, I already blew up 1.
Invincible: Next ill do 5
Invincible has destroyed six masks so far, defying Chedburn's desire to see an even 250 circulation of every individual mask item. Will Invincible continue with his murderous spree and slaughter more innocent Anatoly masks? Or might he turn his attentions to Greta, Donald Trump, or one of our new masks to be released at Christmas?
ELIMINATION LEFTOVERS
Kandge contacted The Times to thank us for naming them in the newspaper as one of the youngest hard-hitters in this year's Elimination. They also magnanimously suggested that we should mention someone else ahead of them, who they felt deserved the attention more.
"I've checked all the other young top hitters and it seems they're all filthy rich with dozens of billions networth. I feel like it's easy to make that many hits regardless of your age if you have this much money to blow. For that reason I wanted to give mad props to Sarosv who's got the same networth as me AND being way younger than me, I think he's the MVP of that section."
Sarosv, consider yourself mentioned!
TELL YOUR STORY
Have an interesting story to share? Contact Sugarvalves today and receive a Donator Pack if your story is published in the next edition of the Local News.
Original article
Comments
Post a Comment