sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Find out why you should avoid global, how to make money, how to move jobs, whether the Wheel of Awesome is worth it, and when Aunty Torn will become lootable.
Hello again dearies! Did you miss me? I apologize for my absence, but I was busy helping Dolly Parton figure out a cure for Coronavirus. We were working on it 9 to 5, day and night - except night. Anyway, now that we've saved the world I'm back to answer some more of your questions. You might call my advice a sort of vaccine against stupidity. And just like real vaccines, some people are too stupid to use it!
Aunty,
Why is it every time I add a thought to the Global chat 1 minute later I end up in hospital? I don't understand I don't do anything wrong is this normal?
Anon
Dear Anon,
Global Chat is a cesspool, a place where the lowest of the low compete against one another to try and sink even lower. Most of the people there are seeking attention, so they tend to be more volatile than others. There is nothing to be gained by trying to understand their ways and nothing to learn from inhabiting this vile place. If good conversation is what you seek, try joining one of the Torn discord channels, using your faction chat, or start posting in the forums instead. If you insist on using Global Chat, make sure you only post in there when you're already in hospital, or in possession of a very large gun.
All the best,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I've been playing Torn for a little over 2 months or so, and I still have a networth less than 10million. I can travel, but I'm not really sure what the best places to go are. I'm wondering if there are any things that I can do as a relatively poor noob to make money. Thanks!
Sincerely,
blockhead77
Dear Blockhead,
There are many ways to make money in Torn, but the best way to earn is by doing something you enjoy or are good at. Flying is how many players start, and there are posts in Tutorials and Guides on where you should fly to and what you should trade in if this is something that excites you. But most people find flying boring, so I would suggest exploring Torn a little more to figure out how you like to spend your time, then you can begin to think about making money from it.
Some players love researching stats and flipping items on the item market, whereas others prefer to make money at the poker tables. Then you have players who enjoy scamming, entering community events, and selling random services in Torn, such as graphic creation, losses, and bounty placing. All of these are legitimate money-making methods, each with upsides and downsides. The key is to make earning money part of your fun, everyday gameplay, rather than a chore.
Good luck!
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
Is spinning wheel of awesome everyday really worth it?
Snowkong
Dear Snowkong,
The answer to this question depends on whether you can afford it. At $1 million per go, the Wheel of Awesome will cost you $365 million per year if you spin it every day ($366 million on a leap year). That's a lot of money which could be put towards training or warring supplies. It really depends on the spare cash you have available, and whether you can afford to wait for the wheel to payout.
If you have the money, the wheels have been proven to be one of the most profitable areas of the Casino. Back in 2018, Chedburn said that over 4 months there was $300 billion spent on the wheels, but they paid out $450 billion, including 122 Private Islands. Making 1.5x your money back is a good return, but it may take you a while to achieve this. Don't rely on it as a source of income, but if I was flush enough, Aunty would play it every day.
Best of luck!
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
I am a returning player who managed to snag a job at a 7* TV company. I am really grateful that the director took me under his wing with me having not-so-great work stats. However, I really want to work at a 10* AN company because I found the books Hot turkey and Self-control is for losers, and I happen to have 30 refills from my time away. I really don't want to leave my TV company, what should I do?
Sincerely, Morally Challenged Questioneer
Dear Morally Challenged,
In situations like these communication is key. Speak to your director and tell them you appreciate them, but that you would like to temporarily leave the company to use your books. By being honest you can arrange a time to do this that is convenient for you both. If your director won't let you leave, and you still wish to join an Adult Novelty temporarily, put out the feelers to other TV companies so you can return to your line of work once your stint in the porn shop has finished. It may be that you'll have to settle for a lower-ranked TV company afterwards, but if it's a good company run by a decent director, it'll be at 7 stars and beyond in no time at all.
Best wishes,
Aunty Torn
Aunty,
What is your networth and will I ever get the chance to loot you? If yes, what loots do you possess? Surely, there has to be a way of robbing you without applying force/harming you.
Ihechikara
Dear Ihechikara,
Better men than you have tried and failed to take my jewelry and all have received a sharp kick to the brass clankers as a reward. What kind of a person are you to pick on a defenceless, frail old woman? Hmm? Aunty might make herself available for looting one day, but there are no plans for me to share my undergarments with the world just yet. And even if I was available to rob, I doubt you'd have the strength to overpower but one of my many suitors who would come to my aid.
Reluctant regards,
Aunty
That's all for this month! Everyone whose question was published in this article will soon receive a Donator Pack for their contribution. If you have a question for Aunty that hasn't been asked before, please submit your query via the Tell Your Story feature using the title Ask Aunty Torn. Aunty will be back in December with more advice and answers.
Aunty,
Why is it every time I add a thought to the Global chat 1 minute later I end up in hospital? I don't understand I don't do anything wrong is this normal?
Anon
Dear Anon,
Global Chat is a cesspool, a place where the lowest of the low compete against one another to try and sink even lower. Most of the people there are seeking attention, so they tend to be more volatile than others. There is nothing to be gained by trying to understand their ways and nothing to learn from inhabiting this vile place. If good conversation is what you seek, try joining one of the Torn discord channels, using your faction chat, or start posting in the forums instead. If you insist on using Global Chat, make sure you only post in there when you're already in hospital, or in possession of a very large gun.
All the best,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I've been playing Torn for a little over 2 months or so, and I still have a networth less than 10million. I can travel, but I'm not really sure what the best places to go are. I'm wondering if there are any things that I can do as a relatively poor noob to make money. Thanks!
Sincerely,
blockhead77
Dear Blockhead,
There are many ways to make money in Torn, but the best way to earn is by doing something you enjoy or are good at. Flying is how many players start, and there are posts in Tutorials and Guides on where you should fly to and what you should trade in if this is something that excites you. But most people find flying boring, so I would suggest exploring Torn a little more to figure out how you like to spend your time, then you can begin to think about making money from it.
Some players love researching stats and flipping items on the item market, whereas others prefer to make money at the poker tables. Then you have players who enjoy scamming, entering community events, and selling random services in Torn, such as graphic creation, losses, and bounty placing. All of these are legitimate money-making methods, each with upsides and downsides. The key is to make earning money part of your fun, everyday gameplay, rather than a chore.
Good luck!
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
Is spinning wheel of awesome everyday really worth it?
Snowkong
Dear Snowkong,
The answer to this question depends on whether you can afford it. At $1 million per go, the Wheel of Awesome will cost you $365 million per year if you spin it every day ($366 million on a leap year). That's a lot of money which could be put towards training or warring supplies. It really depends on the spare cash you have available, and whether you can afford to wait for the wheel to payout.
If you have the money, the wheels have been proven to be one of the most profitable areas of the Casino. Back in 2018, Chedburn said that over 4 months there was $300 billion spent on the wheels, but they paid out $450 billion, including 122 Private Islands. Making 1.5x your money back is a good return, but it may take you a while to achieve this. Don't rely on it as a source of income, but if I was flush enough, Aunty would play it every day.
Best of luck!
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
I am a returning player who managed to snag a job at a 7* TV company. I am really grateful that the director took me under his wing with me having not-so-great work stats. However, I really want to work at a 10* AN company because I found the books Hot turkey and Self-control is for losers, and I happen to have 30 refills from my time away. I really don't want to leave my TV company, what should I do?
Sincerely, Morally Challenged Questioneer
Dear Morally Challenged,
In situations like these communication is key. Speak to your director and tell them you appreciate them, but that you would like to temporarily leave the company to use your books. By being honest you can arrange a time to do this that is convenient for you both. If your director won't let you leave, and you still wish to join an Adult Novelty temporarily, put out the feelers to other TV companies so you can return to your line of work once your stint in the porn shop has finished. It may be that you'll have to settle for a lower-ranked TV company afterwards, but if it's a good company run by a decent director, it'll be at 7 stars and beyond in no time at all.
Best wishes,
Aunty Torn
Aunty,
What is your networth and will I ever get the chance to loot you? If yes, what loots do you possess? Surely, there has to be a way of robbing you without applying force/harming you.
Ihechikara
Dear Ihechikara,
Better men than you have tried and failed to take my jewelry and all have received a sharp kick to the brass clankers as a reward. What kind of a person are you to pick on a defenceless, frail old woman? Hmm? Aunty might make herself available for looting one day, but there are no plans for me to share my undergarments with the world just yet. And even if I was available to rob, I doubt you'd have the strength to overpower but one of my many suitors who would come to my aid.
Reluctant regards,
Aunty
That's all for this month! Everyone whose question was published in this article will soon receive a Donator Pack for their contribution. If you have a question for Aunty that hasn't been asked before, please submit your query via the Tell Your Story feature using the title Ask Aunty Torn. Aunty will be back in December with more advice and answers.
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