sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
How can you increase intelligence? Why should you give your boss a formal resignation letter? And how do you write for the Newspaper? Aunty Torn answers all this and more in her latest advice column
Hello lovelies! Aunty Torn is back with more answers to your questions. This month, we've had some queer old queries indeed, with incessant gamblers, inept muggers, and low-intelligence numpties all seeking answers from Aunty. So let's waste no more time and find out what they've been asking and how I can help!
Dear Auntie
I lost 50% of my networth to poker and somehow I still go back and play it. Am I sick, Aunty?
Handsomevincent
Dear Vincent,
Yes. But if you enjoy playing poker, then this is a sickness not worth fretting over. If you didn't gamble away your earnings, what else would you do with them? If you can think of a more worthwhile and enjoyable way to spend your money, then by all means do that. If not, don't beat yourself up over some lost imaginary money. It's better than losing real-life cash! Unless you're doing that too, in which case, ignore what I just said.
Regards,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I'm being forced out of my faction. I can't say why as it can make it obvious who we are so please keep me anon. Should I join a friendly faction in the family to try and work my way back or move on to a new faction?
Anon
Dear Anon,
Without knowing the reasons for your departure it's hard to offer any specific advice. Ask yourself if you did anything wrong that warrants being kicked. Ask yourself if you did enough in the faction to deserve your spot. Ask yourself if you were leader, would you do what they're doing?
If after you've answered those questions honestly you still feel you've been treated unfairly, then move on to pastures new. But if you see room for improvement, stay within your faction family and push for a return.
Best,
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
Why is it that when people get mugged for a small amount, they feel the need to send a message along the lines of "Was it worth it?" Does it help with their fragile egos?
Prohibition
Dear Prohibition,
When someone is mugged for a low amount it makes them feel briefly superior to the mugger, as they assume (quite correctly) that you have wasted your energy on them. If these messages are annoying you, my advice would be to get better at mugging. Do your research, stake out your target, and time your attacks properly. Then, the only messages you'll receive are "Please can I have my money back?"
Best,
Aunty Torn
Dear Aunty Torn,
I've lived in this city for just over 6 years and I still don't have many friends. How does one make friends in Torn city?
Kind Regards,
Anon
Dear Anon,
The best way to make friends, whether it's inside or outside of Torn, is to stop worrying about making friends. Instead, start doing things that force you to interact with other people. Joining up with a faction and signing up to events like Elimination is a must, as is posting regularly on the forums, or in chat.
This advice is quite general and tailored towards other people who are struggling to make new chums and acquaintances. However, in your case, having browsed your forum posts, I have some more specific advice to give you. Stop being a **** to other people. Kindness and positivity are attractive traits in a friend, whereas your forum replies make you seem about as approachable as a lunatic covered in their own mess.
Best of luck,
Aunty
Dear Aunty
Why is it a must to give your bosses a resign letter before u leave? Also why do people mug me after working for them or trading with them?
Anon
Dear Anon,
The second question is answered by the fact that you felt the need to ask the first. Torn is a community-driven game, and behind each profile is a person. Treat your director like a human being and they'll do the same to you. If you've been leaving jobs without so much as a thank you and goodbye, I'm not surprised people have been mugging you. That's mighty rude of you, sonny!
The trading situation is different. Some traders work with muggers by sharing data on their recent customers for a cut of their mugging profits. You can't do much about this other than to blacklist the traders you suspect. But when it comes to bosses, you can save yourself a lot of future pain by giving your employer a notice period and a thank you message. You don't have to kiss them goodbye, but it wouldn't hurt!
Regards,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
How could I get a job working for the newspaper and writing stories? Also, how do scammers scam and why don’t mods stop it?
Anon
Dear Anon
To answer your first question, you need to send the Newspaper editor, Sugarvalves, a message explaining your idea for an article. Think about something you have expertise in, that you've experienced, or that nobody else has written about. Describe your article in a few short sentences and he'll get back to you if he thinks it won't bore people to death.
To answer your second question, scamming works by preying on people's laziness or stupidity. Scamming is legal in Torn, so make sure you think before sending anyone anything.
Good luck,
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
I've been playing Torn for a while now, and I'm part of a revive faction. I have a job in medical, and although my working stats are reasonably good, I don't have enough intelligence to get promoted, which means that I can't revive. I have the stock benefit and merit benefit for decreasing education course times, but it's still a long wait for a small amount of intelligence. How can I increase my intelligence quickly?
I love you lots Aunty.
Anon.
Dear Anon,
The best way to increase your intelligence quickly is to find a company director with some free training slots when Employee Appreciation Day comes around. From the 4th-6th of March, all training is 3x as effective as usual, so a temporary move to a private company role may be just what you need.
There are also rumors that a forthcoming job special in an as-yet-unidentified company will allow players to boost their intelligence and manual stats, as several already let you do this with your endurance stat.
If you can't wait that long, you could try paying a director to let you work in a high intelligence role for a short while, as the intelligence gains you'll make there will be greater than in the Medical Job. You can also use Books of Carols to reduce your education time by six hours, but this is an expensive route to go down.
Good luck,
Aunty
Dear Auntie
I lost 50% of my networth to poker and somehow I still go back and play it. Am I sick, Aunty?
Handsomevincent
Dear Vincent,
Yes. But if you enjoy playing poker, then this is a sickness not worth fretting over. If you didn't gamble away your earnings, what else would you do with them? If you can think of a more worthwhile and enjoyable way to spend your money, then by all means do that. If not, don't beat yourself up over some lost imaginary money. It's better than losing real-life cash! Unless you're doing that too, in which case, ignore what I just said.
Regards,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I'm being forced out of my faction. I can't say why as it can make it obvious who we are so please keep me anon. Should I join a friendly faction in the family to try and work my way back or move on to a new faction?
Anon
Dear Anon,
Without knowing the reasons for your departure it's hard to offer any specific advice. Ask yourself if you did anything wrong that warrants being kicked. Ask yourself if you did enough in the faction to deserve your spot. Ask yourself if you were leader, would you do what they're doing?
If after you've answered those questions honestly you still feel you've been treated unfairly, then move on to pastures new. But if you see room for improvement, stay within your faction family and push for a return.
Best,
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
Why is it that when people get mugged for a small amount, they feel the need to send a message along the lines of "Was it worth it?" Does it help with their fragile egos?
Prohibition
Dear Prohibition,
When someone is mugged for a low amount it makes them feel briefly superior to the mugger, as they assume (quite correctly) that you have wasted your energy on them. If these messages are annoying you, my advice would be to get better at mugging. Do your research, stake out your target, and time your attacks properly. Then, the only messages you'll receive are "Please can I have my money back?"
Best,
Aunty Torn
Dear Aunty Torn,
I've lived in this city for just over 6 years and I still don't have many friends. How does one make friends in Torn city?
Kind Regards,
Anon
Dear Anon,
The best way to make friends, whether it's inside or outside of Torn, is to stop worrying about making friends. Instead, start doing things that force you to interact with other people. Joining up with a faction and signing up to events like Elimination is a must, as is posting regularly on the forums, or in chat.
This advice is quite general and tailored towards other people who are struggling to make new chums and acquaintances. However, in your case, having browsed your forum posts, I have some more specific advice to give you. Stop being a **** to other people. Kindness and positivity are attractive traits in a friend, whereas your forum replies make you seem about as approachable as a lunatic covered in their own mess.
Best of luck,
Aunty
Dear Aunty
Why is it a must to give your bosses a resign letter before u leave? Also why do people mug me after working for them or trading with them?
Anon
Dear Anon,
The second question is answered by the fact that you felt the need to ask the first. Torn is a community-driven game, and behind each profile is a person. Treat your director like a human being and they'll do the same to you. If you've been leaving jobs without so much as a thank you and goodbye, I'm not surprised people have been mugging you. That's mighty rude of you, sonny!
The trading situation is different. Some traders work with muggers by sharing data on their recent customers for a cut of their mugging profits. You can't do much about this other than to blacklist the traders you suspect. But when it comes to bosses, you can save yourself a lot of future pain by giving your employer a notice period and a thank you message. You don't have to kiss them goodbye, but it wouldn't hurt!
Regards,
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
How could I get a job working for the newspaper and writing stories? Also, how do scammers scam and why don’t mods stop it?
Anon
Dear Anon
To answer your first question, you need to send the Newspaper editor, Sugarvalves, a message explaining your idea for an article. Think about something you have expertise in, that you've experienced, or that nobody else has written about. Describe your article in a few short sentences and he'll get back to you if he thinks it won't bore people to death.
To answer your second question, scamming works by preying on people's laziness or stupidity. Scamming is legal in Torn, so make sure you think before sending anyone anything.
Good luck,
Aunty
Dear Aunty Torn,
I've been playing Torn for a while now, and I'm part of a revive faction. I have a job in medical, and although my working stats are reasonably good, I don't have enough intelligence to get promoted, which means that I can't revive. I have the stock benefit and merit benefit for decreasing education course times, but it's still a long wait for a small amount of intelligence. How can I increase my intelligence quickly?
I love you lots Aunty.
Anon.
Dear Anon,
The best way to increase your intelligence quickly is to find a company director with some free training slots when Employee Appreciation Day comes around. From the 4th-6th of March, all training is 3x as effective as usual, so a temporary move to a private company role may be just what you need.
There are also rumors that a forthcoming job special in an as-yet-unidentified company will allow players to boost their intelligence and manual stats, as several already let you do this with your endurance stat.
If you can't wait that long, you could try paying a director to let you work in a high intelligence role for a short while, as the intelligence gains you'll make there will be greater than in the Medical Job. You can also use Books of Carols to reduce your education time by six hours, but this is an expensive route to go down.
Good luck,
Aunty
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