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QuietSilence and _Krysis_ have won the Mr and Ms Torn crowns for 2021, but what were their entries about, what are their goals, and why is Nova so fibrous? Find out as we interview Mr & Ms Torn 2021!
The great unwashed have made their decision, with _Krysis_ and QuietSilence having been voted as Mr and Ms Torn 2021. There were many excellent and creative entries sent into this year's competition, but in the end, it seems a combination of medical care and elderly abuse was what the public truly wanted.
Pictured: Ms Torn (left, sitting gracefully) and Mr Torn (right, battering a friend).
"It was great I didnt believe i'd win till it got down to last 5 days or so :) i found out i won upon waking this morning and finding lots of msgs congratulating me on the win." - QuietSilence
"Its freaking awesome to receive the Crown!! I entered just for fun and merit ofc. Achieved more than what I expected. And... I was eating my lunch when I received the notification lol (usually I don't use my phone when I'm eating lunch)." - _Krysis_
Ms Torn
Ms Torn was won by _Krysis_, a relatively new player who arrived in Torn just before Christmas Town. She secured her title with a score of 6.11, putting her just ahead of Evaline on 6.09 and Karoline on 6.07. _Krysis says that she liked many of the entries this year, especially those by Evaline, killaa, Zean, Ali_Looya, and Crea, and feels that some of these were far more creative than her own.
That might be true, but _Krysis_' entry, which she calls "When in crisis, remember Krysis" is certainly a lot classier than some of the things we see each year. Her photo was created at the last minute, with the white coat borrowed from a friend and the First Aid Kit found at her workplace. _Krysis_ admits that isn't a nurse or a doctor in real life, but she does aim to be one in Torn someday.
"I aim to be a reviver with good battle stats lol and I'm working on it...with a slow pace... I've made many good friends in NPC and also outside NPC and during this event. More friends than irl."
_Krysis_ admits that as a new player she didn't know how this competition worked at first, and she entered just for the merits and tokens. Her expectations weren't high at the beginning, but I imagine that changed when she placed at number 1 early on. Her advice to any potential future Ms Torns is to do it for fun, gain the experience, and be more creative than her. Oh, and she would also like to apologise for something too.
"And I'm really sorry if some people didn't like the pic just because of my 'raunchy' costume. I'll try to make it better next time... If I participate lol. THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED."
Please tell me none of you psychos actually messaged her to complain about her outfit. What is this, Victorian Britain? If you think _Krysis_ costume is too raunchy, then boy do I have some things to show you on the internet. And those things are literally every other Ms Torn entry ever posted ever.
Ms Torn Runner-ups
As we said earlier, our runner-ups for Ms Torn were Evaline and Karoline. Evaline also went for a nurse's uniform in her entry, but she added an extra element of humour by referencing the Felovax drug known to have been taken by Duke, with a sign in the background suggesting this particular cat vaccine may somehow contain 5G.
Third-placed Karoline sat in a chair with something strapped to her leg. I have no idea what this item may be, and as a 37-year-old man it would be quite unbecoming of me to zoom in and find out. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say it's some sort of potato peeler, or perhaps a tool for picking shit out of a horse's hoof.
Mr Torn
QuietSilence won Mr Torn with a score of 5.47, ahead of Spliffy on 5.44, and Kivou on 5.4. QS says he expected Spliffy to beat him to the title, and he complimented his entry, describing it as great. But the public instead chose in his favour, and QuietSilence's victory appears to have come as a great shock to him.
"I really thought it was going to be a popularity contest i was only like 250 days old when i entered and thought i was just going to get a merit and may be a few tokens so i just went for funny."
QuietSilence's entry was one of my personal favourites of all time, but this year I didn't vote for anyone, because none of the candidates bribed me. QS's photo shows him midway through the act of beating someone over the head with a bottle of oxygen. QuietSilence told the Torn City Times that he stole the bottle of O2 from a children's hospital, and that he has absolutely no regrets whatsoever.
That's not true. Here's what he actually said.
"I'm a retired air force vet and on oxy so I thought i'd stage a mugging with the oxy bottle :) I am the one with the oxy the other guy is a friend of mine it caused a bit of confusion as he is holding the paper with my nick and such on it. reason is simply I couldn't hold both the bottle and the sign at the same time."
Miss World contests are often asked how they would tackle the big issues of our time. QuietSilence says he'd like to see the pandemic ended through a campaign of mandatory vaccines for all. I'm sure that opinion has triggered a few of our vaccine-skeptics here in Torn, and to those people I suggest you take a trip to Nurse Evaline's office, where she will put you at ease, dispel a few myths, and then shove a needle in your throat midway through your rant about how Coronavirus is an anagram of Corn Saviour because it was created in a lab by Tony the Tiger.
Pictured: See also, Cirrous Nova. Is he really as fibrous as he seems?
In more important news, QuietSilence also says he'd like to see the Oxygen Bottle become a weapon in Torn. He thinks it could be a temporary weapon with high damage and low accuracy, with perhaps a small chance to explode and kill everyone in battle. Now that is something I think we can all agree would be excellent. QuietSilence is quite clearly an agent of chaos, and I hope I'll be that badass when I too am "old and decrepit".
"I'd like to conclude with thanx to every 1 who voted for me it was a real thrill and especially to my faction for all the support and good wishes." - QuietSilence
NOTE: Someone made the Oxygen Bottle a suggestion. Go upvote it.
Mr Torn Runner-ups
Spliffy's fantastic Dirty Bomb photo was enough to grab him second place. People in Hazmats always seem to do well in this competition, but the fact that his DB comprised of actual Mentos and Cola was a lovely touch that the voters loved because it was lovely. Spliffy's to-do list indicates he was cosplaying as Bling_Bling at the time, which I very much enjoyed. The only way this could've been improved is with a banner across the bottom that said "In Federal Jail for 28 Days For Not Knowing Pornhub Exists."
Kivou's third-placed entry distressed me, as it appears that he was genuinely involved in an accident that royally f**ked him up. This means I can't make fun of him, because I am not that callous, and his name isn't GavinDymock. If, as I suspect, Kivou's injuries are real, then I commend him for having the forethought to document his wounds for use in a meaningless online popularity contest. If his injuries are fake, then whoever did his makeup deserves a god damn Oscar. Either way, he's a legend in my book.
LESLIE'S FREAKSHOW
If you performed poorly in this year's event then don't go out and off yourself just yet, because Mr and Ms Torn will return next year, giving you just under twelve months to think of a better entry and / or improve your appearance. But a much healthier response to your defeat would be to enter Leslie's Freakshow, a competition that brands itself as the alternative to Mr and Ms Torn.
Formerly known as Choke Me Leslie, Leslie's Freakshow asks players to enter the most bizarre and creatively grotesque self-portrait possible in an attempt to win a prize. Unlike Mr and Ms Torn, the winners of Leslie's Freakshow are chosen by a panel of judges including myself, Bogie, and a third person we've made up. I call them Alan. Alan Milkcartonbody.Tell me what I stole that name off and I'll send you something. Someone figured it out / googled it already.
Our competition isn't gendered - we're woke af - because we simply choose a winner from all who enter, with three ritzy prizes awarded to our absolute favourites, and ten paper bag items to the best ten entries overall.
Pictured: This could be you, you ugly, ugly bastard.
Judge_Mcguire won this event last year, with his entry pleasing the judges thanks to its combination of personal embarrassment, disgusting mess, and in-game references - JM had recently won the Dunkins' Donut item in another competition, hence his fingering of said desserts.
Pictured: What Lois Lane could be riding if she had taste.
KatyPatra came second with this detailed effort, and MJH's popular entry secured him third - I advise you to click on that second link in the privacy of a bathroom stall. The problem with last year's event was that it was inundated with numerous low-effort entries, mostly consisting of pulled faces, gross-out humour, and bad photoshops.
MJH's entry was undoubtedly funny due to its incredibly disgusting nature, and it received a huge number of upvotes too. But it also spawned a raft of copycats, with players thinking they could place in this event merely through the depiction of various bodily fluids. That being said, it remains a regret of mine that we didn't at least give RagnarLodbrok a prize for putting his foot in mayonnaise.
Pictured: RagnarLodbrok. Because in my house, mayonnaise is a bodily fluid.
This year we're looking for something a little different. This isn't a Heston Blumenthal recipe, so you can't just rely on mucus, mayo, and menstrual blood. We're putting up some damn fine prizes for the top three, so please take your time to come up with something unique, clever, and original. This competition will open for entries in early August, so you have plenty of time to give this one some thought.
Pictured: Ms Torn (left, sitting gracefully) and Mr Torn (right, battering a friend).
"It was great I didnt believe i'd win till it got down to last 5 days or so :) i found out i won upon waking this morning and finding lots of msgs congratulating me on the win." - QuietSilence
"Its freaking awesome to receive the Crown!! I entered just for fun and merit ofc. Achieved more than what I expected. And... I was eating my lunch when I received the notification lol (usually I don't use my phone when I'm eating lunch)." - _Krysis_
Ms Torn
Ms Torn was won by _Krysis_, a relatively new player who arrived in Torn just before Christmas Town. She secured her title with a score of 6.11, putting her just ahead of Evaline on 6.09 and Karoline on 6.07. _Krysis says that she liked many of the entries this year, especially those by Evaline, killaa, Zean, Ali_Looya, and Crea, and feels that some of these were far more creative than her own.
That might be true, but _Krysis_' entry, which she calls "When in crisis, remember Krysis" is certainly a lot classier than some of the things we see each year. Her photo was created at the last minute, with the white coat borrowed from a friend and the First Aid Kit found at her workplace. _Krysis_ admits that isn't a nurse or a doctor in real life, but she does aim to be one in Torn someday.
"I aim to be a reviver with good battle stats lol and I'm working on it...with a slow pace... I've made many good friends in NPC and also outside NPC and during this event. More friends than irl."
_Krysis_ admits that as a new player she didn't know how this competition worked at first, and she entered just for the merits and tokens. Her expectations weren't high at the beginning, but I imagine that changed when she placed at number 1 early on. Her advice to any potential future Ms Torns is to do it for fun, gain the experience, and be more creative than her. Oh, and she would also like to apologise for something too.
"And I'm really sorry if some people didn't like the pic just because of my 'raunchy' costume. I'll try to make it better next time... If I participate lol. THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED."
Please tell me none of you psychos actually messaged her to complain about her outfit. What is this, Victorian Britain? If you think _Krysis_ costume is too raunchy, then boy do I have some things to show you on the internet. And those things are literally every other Ms Torn entry ever posted ever.
Ms Torn Runner-ups
As we said earlier, our runner-ups for Ms Torn were Evaline and Karoline. Evaline also went for a nurse's uniform in her entry, but she added an extra element of humour by referencing the Felovax drug known to have been taken by Duke, with a sign in the background suggesting this particular cat vaccine may somehow contain 5G.
Third-placed Karoline sat in a chair with something strapped to her leg. I have no idea what this item may be, and as a 37-year-old man it would be quite unbecoming of me to zoom in and find out. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say it's some sort of potato peeler, or perhaps a tool for picking shit out of a horse's hoof.
Mr Torn
QuietSilence won Mr Torn with a score of 5.47, ahead of Spliffy on 5.44, and Kivou on 5.4. QS says he expected Spliffy to beat him to the title, and he complimented his entry, describing it as great. But the public instead chose in his favour, and QuietSilence's victory appears to have come as a great shock to him.
"I really thought it was going to be a popularity contest i was only like 250 days old when i entered and thought i was just going to get a merit and may be a few tokens so i just went for funny."
QuietSilence's entry was one of my personal favourites of all time, but this year I didn't vote for anyone, because none of the candidates bribed me. QS's photo shows him midway through the act of beating someone over the head with a bottle of oxygen. QuietSilence told the Torn City Times that he stole the bottle of O2 from a children's hospital, and that he has absolutely no regrets whatsoever.
That's not true. Here's what he actually said.
"I'm a retired air force vet and on oxy so I thought i'd stage a mugging with the oxy bottle :) I am the one with the oxy the other guy is a friend of mine it caused a bit of confusion as he is holding the paper with my nick and such on it. reason is simply I couldn't hold both the bottle and the sign at the same time."
Miss World contests are often asked how they would tackle the big issues of our time. QuietSilence says he'd like to see the pandemic ended through a campaign of mandatory vaccines for all. I'm sure that opinion has triggered a few of our vaccine-skeptics here in Torn, and to those people I suggest you take a trip to Nurse Evaline's office, where she will put you at ease, dispel a few myths, and then shove a needle in your throat midway through your rant about how Coronavirus is an anagram of Corn Saviour because it was created in a lab by Tony the Tiger.
Pictured: See also, Cirrous Nova. Is he really as fibrous as he seems?
In more important news, QuietSilence also says he'd like to see the Oxygen Bottle become a weapon in Torn. He thinks it could be a temporary weapon with high damage and low accuracy, with perhaps a small chance to explode and kill everyone in battle. Now that is something I think we can all agree would be excellent. QuietSilence is quite clearly an agent of chaos, and I hope I'll be that badass when I too am "old and decrepit".
"I'd like to conclude with thanx to every 1 who voted for me it was a real thrill and especially to my faction for all the support and good wishes." - QuietSilence
NOTE: Someone made the Oxygen Bottle a suggestion. Go upvote it.
Mr Torn Runner-ups
Spliffy's fantastic Dirty Bomb photo was enough to grab him second place. People in Hazmats always seem to do well in this competition, but the fact that his DB comprised of actual Mentos and Cola was a lovely touch that the voters loved because it was lovely. Spliffy's to-do list indicates he was cosplaying as Bling_Bling at the time, which I very much enjoyed. The only way this could've been improved is with a banner across the bottom that said "In Federal Jail for 28 Days For Not Knowing Pornhub Exists."
Kivou's third-placed entry distressed me, as it appears that he was genuinely involved in an accident that royally f**ked him up. This means I can't make fun of him, because I am not that callous, and his name isn't GavinDymock. If, as I suspect, Kivou's injuries are real, then I commend him for having the forethought to document his wounds for use in a meaningless online popularity contest. If his injuries are fake, then whoever did his makeup deserves a god damn Oscar. Either way, he's a legend in my book.
LESLIE'S FREAKSHOW
If you performed poorly in this year's event then don't go out and off yourself just yet, because Mr and Ms Torn will return next year, giving you just under twelve months to think of a better entry and / or improve your appearance. But a much healthier response to your defeat would be to enter Leslie's Freakshow, a competition that brands itself as the alternative to Mr and Ms Torn.
Formerly known as Choke Me Leslie, Leslie's Freakshow asks players to enter the most bizarre and creatively grotesque self-portrait possible in an attempt to win a prize. Unlike Mr and Ms Torn, the winners of Leslie's Freakshow are chosen by a panel of judges including myself, Bogie, and a third person we've made up. I call them Alan. Alan Milkcartonbody.
Our competition isn't gendered - we're woke af - because we simply choose a winner from all who enter, with three ritzy prizes awarded to our absolute favourites, and ten paper bag items to the best ten entries overall.
Pictured: This could be you, you ugly, ugly bastard.
Judge_Mcguire won this event last year, with his entry pleasing the judges thanks to its combination of personal embarrassment, disgusting mess, and in-game references - JM had recently won the Dunkins' Donut item in another competition, hence his fingering of said desserts.
Pictured: What Lois Lane could be riding if she had taste.
KatyPatra came second with this detailed effort, and MJH's popular entry secured him third - I advise you to click on that second link in the privacy of a bathroom stall. The problem with last year's event was that it was inundated with numerous low-effort entries, mostly consisting of pulled faces, gross-out humour, and bad photoshops.
MJH's entry was undoubtedly funny due to its incredibly disgusting nature, and it received a huge number of upvotes too. But it also spawned a raft of copycats, with players thinking they could place in this event merely through the depiction of various bodily fluids. That being said, it remains a regret of mine that we didn't at least give RagnarLodbrok a prize for putting his foot in mayonnaise.
Pictured: RagnarLodbrok. Because in my house, mayonnaise is a bodily fluid.
This year we're looking for something a little different. This isn't a Heston Blumenthal recipe, so you can't just rely on mucus, mayo, and menstrual blood. We're putting up some damn fine prizes for the top three, so please take your time to come up with something unique, clever, and original. This competition will open for entries in early August, so you have plenty of time to give this one some thought.
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