Swatsicle [1593313] —
Original article
Read Swatsicle's account of how he managed to achieve one of Torn's rarest and most expensive merits on the cheap and on the sly, and how he almost got away with it!
It is no secret that I am a slut for merits. The rarer, the better. If we aren't counting the awards nobody has achieved yet (for upgrading your Halloween basket to Nightmarish, and for participating in a 100,000 length chain), then the rarest merit one can achieve in Torn is Shredded, for hitting 100 billion in total stats, which only 40 people have achieved thus far.
Pictured: The 10 rarest attainable merits (currently), ordered by most rare first. #2 and #3 are achieved by using a dirty bomb. Source: Torn API through yata.yt
The second-rarest merit, or should that be merits, are the dual awards given out for dropping a Dirty Bomb. Slow Bomb and RDD are awarded to any player who strikes a faction with a DB, but with these devices going for anywhere between $40-60 billion depending on circumstances and the seller, these awards are out of reach for all but a select few.
Another downside of using a Dirty Bomb is the creation of victims. Victims have a habit of being quite angry, especially if they're irradiated, and their vengeful response can have a severe impact on your game post-detonation. So what’s a merit slut like me to do? I don’t like spending money or being retaliated against. How could I possibly continue my merit hunting ways by acquiring the Dirty Bomb merits without raising billions in cash and incurring the wrath of a major faction?
Easy. You pay a bomb owner $15bn to let you press the button and hope nobody finds out.
How To Acquire A Dirty Bomb Without Actually Doing That
Normally, there are two ways of obtaining a dirty bomb. First, one can be bought. At the time of writing, there was one for sale in a bazaar for a measly $66,666,666,666. This amount can probably be negotiated down a little, but supply is very limited as many of the Dirty Bombs in circulation are faction owned rather than privately owned.
Pictured: Instant terrorism is expensive these days.
Second, a dirty bomb can be built. Before you even start with the necessary ingredients you'll need a faction with over 105,000 faction respect to unlock the laboratory. Once you've acquired that, you'll need to buy up 100x Cesium-137. The cheapest Cesium at this time costs $485m, so it stands to reason that the only bomb for sale at this time costs a little over a hundred times as much.
Pictured: Costs for a dirty bomb lab.
There is a third option, but this one is only theoretical unless you can find a willing participant. If your only goal is the merit, and the carnage and drama do not matter to you, you can always strike a deal with a bomb owner who doesn’t care about the merits, but does care about the drama - and about saving money.
Torn's community manager bogie was famously involved in such a deal when he accepted money from a secret player who paid him to target Subversive Alliance with his own DB. However, as bogie soon found out, there are consequences if the victim knows the identity of anyone involved. And if you are merely buying part of a DB for the merits, and you have no control over the target, retaliation could be a big issue if you are discovered.
Nevertheless, I set out to acquire a cheap bomb, and I did so publicly. I began by making a forum thread offering a Nuke Discount Service where I offered $15 billion towards someone's next Dirty Bomb. My only request was that I was the one to drop it. I waited, and waited, and bumped, and bumped.
Pictured: Something that would probably be frowned upon in real life, but is perfectly acceptable in Torn
Eventually, one player contacted me with the instruction to bomb M&C. When I asked him how he was going to afford the bomb with a $500m net worth, he responded with the following:
With the rules agreed upon we struck a deal: I was to pay $15bn, and drop the bomb on a target faction suggested by the seller. The target would be Natural Selection. Even though ongoing drama between factions was the reason I was given this opportunity, I don’t like to involve myself in faction politics - besides laughing at the shit slinging that sometimes hits the forums. I’m just here for the merits.
So now that I had my DB secured, I had to begin work on detection countermeasures to ensure I would be safe once the bomb was dropped.
How To Convince Everyone You Didn't Do That Thing You Did
There are a few key giveaways that you can look for in the event of a dirty bomb drop if you want to know the culprit. A networth spike/drop is a dead giveaway. The Dirty Bomb is worth anywhere between $20bn and $50bn according to the game - depending on recent sales - and both adding it to your inventory and detonating it will cause a very obvious spike and drop in your networth graph. Couple that with the fact that a DB needs to be primed for 24 hours until you can drop it, and you may as well change your profile picture to a mushroom cloud.
In my case, my problem was that my networth would show I traded $15bn for an item worth well over $25bn (according to the game). My networth would've gained $10bn as a result, and this would need to be masked. Of course, if you're clever about it, your networth graphs can be manipulated to hide your spikes and drops and prevent detection. The net worth stat updates daily around 4am TCT. Armed with that knowledge, you have ample time to fix your net worth if you are prepared.
Pictured: These are now easily the most expensive merits I’ve collected
I had to drop my net worth by about $10bn before the net worth stat updated and ruined my graph. I did this by getting rid of almost all of my stocks and putting my valuable stuff in a place where it wouldn’t show up in my net worth. To achieve this you can drop items in faction storage, or in someone else’s company or faction. You can check whether you did all of this right by using the API ‘networth’ call, to ensure that your net worth graph stays perfectly flat.
The opposite had to be done once the bomb was dropped. As soon as the DB went off, my net worth tanked by over $25bn, and I had to somehow gain this much money. Luckily, I had prepared for this already by setting up a stash of “offshore” money in another player's company. You should do this gradually over time in advance to avoid suspicion. My client had the same issue: their networth had the opposite drops and peaks to mine, so they had to pad and ditch their net worth in a similar manner.
The second big giveaway is being active at the time of the drop. The moment the ‘State of emergency’ warning goes out to Torn, everyone will be scouring the list of currently active players to draw up a list of likely suspects. Your only chance of avoiding this list is to log out the moment you activate the bomb, but even then it might not be enough.
The third giveaway sign, and to me, the scariest, is the merit gain. Unless you've already dropped a Dirty Bomb, it’s impossible to hide the merit gain from your personal stats, so you’ll need to find a reasonable explanation for this. I recommend picking a “double” merit, where one action gives you two merits simultaneously.
For instance, by keeping your GTA crime count at 5,000, you might reasonably be able to say that you recently achieved your 5K GTA merits. As crime stats do not show history, there is no way to disprove your claim that you only just achieved this. If you cannot find a double merit that fits, you can try combining two single merits. Battle stat-related merits are good for this (if they are close to awards), as are ‘one off’ awards such as “10-stack: increase a merit upgrade to its maximum”. Merits that can’t be verified by using the graphs in your Detailed Stats page are ideal.
Advanced Countermeasures™ For When Someone Knows It Was You
Nobody’s perfect, and if you screw up any of the countermeasures, or if they simply fail, you might need a backup plan in case you get questioned. This is especially true if someone drops your name on the inevitable “Who dropped the DB?” thread.
My backup plan: acting. I went through the trouble of making an entire play-by-play of the scenario beforehand. If someone were to accuse me publicly of dropping the bomb, a friend - who few know is my friend - would reply to the original accuser and agree, while making himself look like an asshole with an axe to grind.
I would then respond only to my friend, telling them that they’re delusional and still mad over that time I scammed/cheated/betrayed them. Given that the public doesn’t know that my friend is my friend, this could provide enough distraction from the original accusation that it would be mostly forgotten. That was the idea, anyway. It never did play out, because I haven’t seen anyone publicly mention my name related to the bomb that I dropped, nor did anyone chat me about it… Except for one observant player.
However, this player accepted my “no” without much hassle. If you’re out there, friend, I’m sorry I lied to you. Contact me (Swatsicle [1593313]), I’ll happily give you a reward for your excellent skills of observation.
Addendum: You Knew It Was Me All Along?
My offer of a reward to the one player who guessed my identity correctly was supposed to mark the end of this piece. However, upon posting the first draft of this article on the newspaper panel, fellow reporter Penicillin [1517799] was quick to let me know - in the reporting panel feedback section no less - that I was not as sneaky as I had thought I was.
Pictured: The 10 rarest attainable merits (currently), ordered by most rare first. #2 and #3 are achieved by using a dirty bomb. Source: Torn API through yata.ytThe second-rarest merit, or should that be merits, are the dual awards given out for dropping a Dirty Bomb. Slow Bomb and RDD are awarded to any player who strikes a faction with a DB, but with these devices going for anywhere between $40-60 billion depending on circumstances and the seller, these awards are out of reach for all but a select few.
Another downside of using a Dirty Bomb is the creation of victims. Victims have a habit of being quite angry, especially if they're irradiated, and their vengeful response can have a severe impact on your game post-detonation. So what’s a merit slut like me to do? I don’t like spending money or being retaliated against. How could I possibly continue my merit hunting ways by acquiring the Dirty Bomb merits without raising billions in cash and incurring the wrath of a major faction?
Easy. You pay a bomb owner $15bn to let you press the button and hope nobody finds out.
How To Acquire A Dirty Bomb Without Actually Doing That
Normally, there are two ways of obtaining a dirty bomb. First, one can be bought. At the time of writing, there was one for sale in a bazaar for a measly $66,666,666,666. This amount can probably be negotiated down a little, but supply is very limited as many of the Dirty Bombs in circulation are faction owned rather than privately owned.
There is a third option, but this one is only theoretical unless you can find a willing participant. If your only goal is the merit, and the carnage and drama do not matter to you, you can always strike a deal with a bomb owner who doesn’t care about the merits, but does care about the drama - and about saving money.
Torn's community manager bogie was famously involved in such a deal when he accepted money from a secret player who paid him to target Subversive Alliance with his own DB. However, as bogie soon found out, there are consequences if the victim knows the identity of anyone involved. And if you are merely buying part of a DB for the merits, and you have no control over the target, retaliation could be a big issue if you are discovered.
Nevertheless, I set out to acquire a cheap bomb, and I did so publicly. I began by making a forum thread offering a Nuke Discount Service where I offered $15 billion towards someone's next Dirty Bomb. My only request was that I was the one to drop it. I waited, and waited, and bumped, and bumped.
Eventually, one player contacted me with the instruction to bomb M&C. When I asked him how he was going to afford the bomb with a $500m net worth, he responded with the following:
“I thought you were supplying the bomb”.
Soon after, a serious inquiry landed in my chatbox. My first task was to verify that the target wasn’t on my no-go list. This list was extremely short, consisting of my faction, and our then-sister faction. I could be sure that these limits would be adhered to since I was in charge of pushing the big red button, but it always pays to make sure.With the rules agreed upon we struck a deal: I was to pay $15bn, and drop the bomb on a target faction suggested by the seller. The target would be Natural Selection. Even though ongoing drama between factions was the reason I was given this opportunity, I don’t like to involve myself in faction politics - besides laughing at the shit slinging that sometimes hits the forums. I’m just here for the merits.
So now that I had my DB secured, I had to begin work on detection countermeasures to ensure I would be safe once the bomb was dropped.
How To Convince Everyone You Didn't Do That Thing You Did
There are a few key giveaways that you can look for in the event of a dirty bomb drop if you want to know the culprit. A networth spike/drop is a dead giveaway. The Dirty Bomb is worth anywhere between $20bn and $50bn according to the game - depending on recent sales - and both adding it to your inventory and detonating it will cause a very obvious spike and drop in your networth graph. Couple that with the fact that a DB needs to be primed for 24 hours until you can drop it, and you may as well change your profile picture to a mushroom cloud.
In my case, my problem was that my networth would show I traded $15bn for an item worth well over $25bn (according to the game). My networth would've gained $10bn as a result, and this would need to be masked. Of course, if you're clever about it, your networth graphs can be manipulated to hide your spikes and drops and prevent detection. The net worth stat updates daily around 4am TCT. Armed with that knowledge, you have ample time to fix your net worth if you are prepared.
Pictured: These are now easily the most expensive merits I’ve collected
I had to drop my net worth by about $10bn before the net worth stat updated and ruined my graph. I did this by getting rid of almost all of my stocks and putting my valuable stuff in a place where it wouldn’t show up in my net worth. To achieve this you can drop items in faction storage, or in someone else’s company or faction. You can check whether you did all of this right by using the API ‘networth’ call, to ensure that your net worth graph stays perfectly flat.
The opposite had to be done once the bomb was dropped. As soon as the DB went off, my net worth tanked by over $25bn, and I had to somehow gain this much money. Luckily, I had prepared for this already by setting up a stash of “offshore” money in another player's company. You should do this gradually over time in advance to avoid suspicion. My client had the same issue: their networth had the opposite drops and peaks to mine, so they had to pad and ditch their net worth in a similar manner.
The second big giveaway is being active at the time of the drop. The moment the ‘State of emergency’ warning goes out to Torn, everyone will be scouring the list of currently active players to draw up a list of likely suspects. Your only chance of avoiding this list is to log out the moment you activate the bomb, but even then it might not be enough.
The third giveaway sign, and to me, the scariest, is the merit gain. Unless you've already dropped a Dirty Bomb, it’s impossible to hide the merit gain from your personal stats, so you’ll need to find a reasonable explanation for this. I recommend picking a “double” merit, where one action gives you two merits simultaneously.
For instance, by keeping your GTA crime count at 5,000, you might reasonably be able to say that you recently achieved your 5K GTA merits. As crime stats do not show history, there is no way to disprove your claim that you only just achieved this. If you cannot find a double merit that fits, you can try combining two single merits. Battle stat-related merits are good for this (if they are close to awards), as are ‘one off’ awards such as “10-stack: increase a merit upgrade to its maximum”. Merits that can’t be verified by using the graphs in your Detailed Stats page are ideal.
Advanced Countermeasures™ For When Someone Knows It Was You
Nobody’s perfect, and if you screw up any of the countermeasures, or if they simply fail, you might need a backup plan in case you get questioned. This is especially true if someone drops your name on the inevitable “Who dropped the DB?” thread.
My backup plan: acting. I went through the trouble of making an entire play-by-play of the scenario beforehand. If someone were to accuse me publicly of dropping the bomb, a friend - who few know is my friend - would reply to the original accuser and agree, while making himself look like an asshole with an axe to grind.
I would then respond only to my friend, telling them that they’re delusional and still mad over that time I scammed/cheated/betrayed them. Given that the public doesn’t know that my friend is my friend, this could provide enough distraction from the original accusation that it would be mostly forgotten. That was the idea, anyway. It never did play out, because I haven’t seen anyone publicly mention my name related to the bomb that I dropped, nor did anyone chat me about it… Except for one observant player.
Pictured: Passer-by who witnessed nuclear van get placed at headquarters, then strikes up casual conversation with possible terrorist regarding the nature of their activities
However, this player accepted my “no” without much hassle. If you’re out there, friend, I’m sorry I lied to you. Contact me (Swatsicle [1593313]), I’ll happily give you a reward for your excellent skills of observation.
Addendum: You Knew It Was Me All Along?
My offer of a reward to the one player who guessed my identity correctly was supposed to mark the end of this piece. However, upon posting the first draft of this article on the newspaper panel, fellow reporter Penicillin [1517799] was quick to let me know - in the reporting panel feedback section no less - that I was not as sneaky as I had thought I was.
"For the record, NS leadership deduced a long time ago that you dropped that DB on us, and that SA bought the DB from Mysteria and then supplied it to you to drop."
Obviously, I had not followed my own advice about the networth masking to the degree required, and that $30bn drop was a big radioactive clue to anyone who was looking. But how did NS know to look at my stats in the first place? Penicillin explained their methods of identification.
"We started with a list of all of the people who gained two merits that day. Originally, we thought it was some guy in SA, but he provided proof otherwise. Almost all of those people would have no reason to bomb us. We knew that you had a thread in the trade forum seeking to drop a bomb, so you were a prime suspect. We watched a few people's networth and yours seemed the most suspect."
Perhaps there should be a fourth lesson here: Do not publicly advertise that you are looking for a Dirty Bomb to buy. It may be a lot harder to find someone willing to sell you the dropping rights if you aren't public about it, but in hindsight, maybe it would've been better to post through an intermediary, or at least hit up a few known bomb owners via chat.
So it seems that NS knew about my dirty deed from the start. But I couldn't help wonder why they had never asked me about it, as I had a whole playbook ready for that eventuality! Penicillin filled me in.
"Haha, we knew you wouldn't be able to tell us anyway. You are on the committee and got hung up in that bullshit many months ago with R and those rackets. We knew you couldn't tell us."
Pictured: Detective Penicillin at work
Obviously, I had not followed my own advice about the networth masking to the degree required, and that $30bn drop was a big radioactive clue to anyone who was looking. But how did NS know to look at my stats in the first place? Penicillin explained their methods of identification.
"We started with a list of all of the people who gained two merits that day. Originally, we thought it was some guy in SA, but he provided proof otherwise. Almost all of those people would have no reason to bomb us. We knew that you had a thread in the trade forum seeking to drop a bomb, so you were a prime suspect. We watched a few people's networth and yours seemed the most suspect."
Perhaps there should be a fourth lesson here: Do not publicly advertise that you are looking for a Dirty Bomb to buy. It may be a lot harder to find someone willing to sell you the dropping rights if you aren't public about it, but in hindsight, maybe it would've been better to post through an intermediary, or at least hit up a few known bomb owners via chat.
So it seems that NS knew about my dirty deed from the start. But I couldn't help wonder why they had never asked me about it, as I had a whole playbook ready for that eventuality! Penicillin filled me in.
"Haha, we knew you wouldn't be able to tell us anyway. You are on the committee and got hung up in that bullshit many months ago with R and those rackets. We knew you couldn't tell us."
And Penicillin is right. In the advertisement thread, I promise full privacy for whoever supplies me with the Dirty Bomb, and as I am part of the player Committee, it is entirely disallowed for me to scam. If I were to leak the identity of my "employer", I would risk the vengeance of the big B. Not the kind of heat I'm looking for - I only like heat if it's inundated with ionizing radiation.
The end...(?)
While I can't share the exact sequence of events that led to me fulfilling my merit hunter (wet) dream, I can say is that Penicillin doesn't have all the facts exactly right. Nevertheless, my dear victimized lads and ladesses, I would still like to apologize for my Dirty Bomb detonation. I promise that I won't bomb you or anyone again - unless it's required for an upcoming merit, in which case, I will definitely bomb someone again. You can blame Mr. Chedders for that, if it comes to it.
The end...(?)
While I can't share the exact sequence of events that led to me fulfilling my merit hunter (wet) dream, I can say is that Penicillin doesn't have all the facts exactly right. Nevertheless, my dear victimized lads and ladesses, I would still like to apologize for my Dirty Bomb detonation. I promise that I won't bomb you or anyone again - unless it's required for an upcoming merit, in which case, I will definitely bomb someone again. You can blame Mr. Chedders for that, if it comes to it.
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