ArttiIsGod [1954421] —
Original article
This month's crossword has a top prize of a festive mask and $500m, but there's a catch - the clues have been written by one of Torn's most illiterate citizens.
Hello and welcome to the Torn City Times Crossword!
This month's crossword has a unique theme that makes it incredibly challenging to solve, even for experienced puzzlers like you! Due to the increased difficulty, we've put up some high-value prizes to compensate for taxing your brain extra hard, with a huge cash prize provided courtesy of our sponsor, and several secret masks on offer to the winners too. But first, let's find out who managed to solve our last puzzle set back in October!
Crossword 52 Results
The answer to Crossword 52 was: Hamburger my heart away - that sounds like a good name for my next food truck. Anyway, the first person to answer correctly was Aquariuz, who wins Four Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask. Our three randomly selected runner-upperers are LollipopIsDead, SamHex, and ElizaBelle, each of whom wins Two Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask.
Three Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask also go to Hasnain_Zoom, in return for this impressively designed and fully solved version of Crossword 52.
Crossword 53
This year's Christmas crossword appears pretty standard, to begin with, given that it's a simple square consisting of 29 x 29 boxes. As usual, the clues must be solved in order to reveal the answer to the crossword which is spelled out by the numbered blue boxes. But as we implied earlier, this crossword will be a little more difficult than usual... because the clues have all been written by Duke.
High quality Download (2105px x 2105px)
High Quality & High Contrast for those perhaps with who need better visibilty
Yes, that's right, Torn's own Shirley Prima Dante Calabrese has been hired to write up your clues for this month's crossword. The idea for this came from Rab, who has also put up $500 million of his own cash as a prize. Rab usually runs a generous $1 sale each Christmas time to give something back to the Torn community, but this year, he's decided to do something a little different.
"I wanted to offer something bigger, something better this year for Rab's Special Giveaway! Instead of the usual Christmas $1 Sale, the players of Torn deserve better and we hope they will enjoy this as much as I have." - Rab
Let's see if you do. Here are the clues for this month's crossword, as written by Duke. Good luck... because you'll need it.
Clues
Across
1.) Yous can put your real nice shirts on one of these if u want i aint gonna make you just throw em on the floor i dont care (10)
5.) Real fancy weapons come in em (6)
7.) Duke was generus on this day (5,6)
10.) That miserable bastard Scrooge shot me in the balls with this (4,6)
11.) A CT game what should pay out mary jane (3)
13.) Duke drinks six of these a hour true storie (5)
15.) Some mooks drink this as a slammer but duke prefers kamikaze (7)
16.) Eh i dunno what a critical hit buff is but stevie wonder got two of these (7)
17.) “The ______ are on but nobodys home” is what people say about Duke sometimes before i hit em (6)
19.) Duke dont accept these he wants real cash or blood when you owe me (3)
20.) What the **** is a gnome? Duke dont even know what that is. (5)
23.) Duke wipes his behind with this thing what sugervalves writes (9)
26.) If yous write down my name and then the name of that laotian guy you will get this but its a real crappy clue for a real crappy answer duke thinks (4,6)
31.) When dukes feelin swanky he wears a suit a shirt and a ___ (3)
32.) Some kinda fake money in christmas town??? (4)
33.) The answer is marketmanipulation cause duke cant be ****** to think of a clue for ya. Merry freakin christmas (6,12)
34.) Dukes got stock in this and it makes him happy for once (3)
36.) Some doc told Duke not to take this cause its for horses but it stops duke feelin stuff so i take it anyway (8)
38.) dukes second favorite white stuff after nose beers (4)
40.) Duke aint never done these drugs cause he aint a god damn hippy (7)
42.) Me? That all you got crossword man? The word me? You are a lazy little **** (2)
43.) Duke takes this to make him real strong and dextor...dexterio... strong. Real strong. (3)
45.) Dukes is 46 or thats what i tell the ladies ;) (3)
46.) They got a type for pants vest helmet gloves and boots. (6)
47.) I gonna use this to whack youoff real hard (8)
48.) Duke gets all his jeans from here or i get em from Big Ron's Designer Jeans Outlet its just off the freeway turn 5 its a sweet place make sure u mention DUKE when u go cause Big Ron will give yous a discount but dont call him Big Ron to his face cause he got a glandular problem okay? (5,5)
50.) How you got a tent made of beer? Oh i get it its where beer is. (8)
53.) Duke has these when he thinks of penelope (5)
56.) Some kind of skill thing in Torn. It looks like when a brittish guy is introducin himself heheh (3)
57.) Duke hates it when he gets vicodin in these (8)
59.) Duke red this book and it aint make him that happy tbh (9,2,5)
62.) If duke points his laser sight at yous this is gonna be on youre fourhead (3)
64.) Ergo aint a word kid yous just makin em up now (4)
65.) Christmas is the season for ______ and bein real generus (6)
67.) Dukes is made of cashmear cause he got money (7)
68.) One of them casino games that punk leslie probably rigs too (7)
69.) Dukes accountant says it means “every year” but hes a lil poindexter so what does he know eh? (6)
70.) If yous dont pay your loans duke will inflicts severe mental and physical suffering and you wil call me your ________ (9)
71.) One of them new war ranks (7)
72.) Yous can open a chest with these but not the best kind of chest heheh sorry (6,3)
Down
2.) If yous got one of these your CT map aint crappy (8)
3.) Some game on the christmas map? i dont even care no more (11,3)
4.) Duke is bored now. Whats this? That new type of warring. Uhhh real exciting (6)
5.) Duke hates this weird baby whys he evan got a bow and arrow for is he a pedo? (5)
6.) Duke is this when he is clothed or naked (4)
7.) Theres a book called this called _____ over brains (5)
8.) Them crummy cars with three wheels i hate em (7,5)
9.) Duke used to love it when penelope bended over in them (4,5)
12.) Dont let that spanish guy put his umbrella in yous cause its covered in this crap (5)
14.) Make duke happy and give him a sexy coupon for xmas (11,7)
16.) Where all dukes speshul prizes are goin right now (4)
18.) Why dont u just call em small oranges then ffs? (10)
21.) U aint supposed to call white people this it makes em angry but duke is italian so he can say it whenever i want and also its a christmas item i guess??? (7)
22.) What duke wears under his jeans every day (6,7)
24.) If duke aint have his own privat jet he would buy this stock but he does cause he aint poor (3)
25.) Another one of them borin war ranks apparentlie (8)
27.) Duke likes this semi auto pistol its good for poppin punks in the pelvis (3)
28.) One time duke tryed to _____ himself through poetry but people laughed so i burnt down a bookstore they aint laughin now (7)
29.) Yous can get clever real quick with this but knowladge is overrated (4,2,6)
30.) If yous dont stfu duke will put this on your mouth (4,4)
31.) Yous all get one of these for free to live in but some jabroni sent duke a bunch cause he has no life (7)
35.) Some real tough guys get this tattoed on one hand and hate on the other but they always look dumb when its finished (4)
37.) Gets me outta tha friggin hospital real quick (8)
39.) That faction what aint too happy about what midknight was givin em so they ran off squealin to their new boyfriends I heard (4,4)
40.) That CT game what is real cute but not that realistic cause u can get the claws taken off a animal if u want to but duke thinks you aint shoulda do that cause its real cruel and duke will HURT YOU IF YOU DO IT (5,5)
41.) Duke wears one of these on his face when he pretends to be old saint nick givin out toys (5,5)
42.) If I give yous one of these you better damnwell do it (7)
44.) Miserable p***k (7)
49.) This freakin place (4)
50.) You dangel em off trees (6)
51.) One of them new armor sets what duke will pay good money for (3)
52.) Duke does whatever this artical tells him too every month (9)
53.) duke dont know what a utensil is. some kind of spaghetti spoons? (7)
54.) Mean green guy with a big ass not hulk (6)
55.) That mask does look like a butthole and duke knows cause dueks seen a lot of buttholes (8)
58.) Dukes favorite key type and shower type (6)
60.) When some kid calls somethin “epic” u know its gonna suck so yeah thats the word the word is epic dukes gettin bored of this now (4)
61.) A real fast shootin weapon type what am gonna shoot the crossword guy with cause hurry up this is boring (3)
63.) What the crossword guy gonna feel when i threaten him for not hurryin the **** up (6)
65.) This is a type of present right? Next one moron (4)
66.) Duke likes to do this to evidance bookstores and people what WASTE MY TIME!!! (4)
67.) Duke had to google this. It means cunning. We done yet? (3)
69.) Are you kiddin me? Its three damn letters. And its the same letter. And its the letter A. THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST DAMM CROSSWORD DUKES EVER SEEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DO YOU NEED A SLAP PUNK? (3)
If you are somehow able to figure out the answers to Duke's clues, please send the solution to the crossword and a fully-solved version of the puzzle via mail to ArttiIsGod by the 31st of December. The first person to send a fully solved crossword will receive $500 million and one of our new Christmas masks - you may choose which one you receive. Three random runner-uppers with fully solved crosswords will get $100 million each and a Christmas mask too. Whoever provides us with a nicely drawn and fully solved crossword will get $200 million and a Christmas mask.
Good luck, happy solving, and Merry Freakin Christmas!
This month's crossword has a unique theme that makes it incredibly challenging to solve, even for experienced puzzlers like you! Due to the increased difficulty, we've put up some high-value prizes to compensate for taxing your brain extra hard, with a huge cash prize provided courtesy of our sponsor, and several secret masks on offer to the winners too. But first, let's find out who managed to solve our last puzzle set back in October!
Crossword 52 Results
The answer to Crossword 52 was: Hamburger my heart away - that sounds like a good name for my next food truck. Anyway, the first person to answer correctly was Aquariuz, who wins Four Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask. Our three randomly selected runner-upperers are LollipopIsDead, SamHex, and ElizaBelle, each of whom wins Two Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask.
Three Donator Packs and a Sandworm Mask also go to Hasnain_Zoom, in return for this impressively designed and fully solved version of Crossword 52.
Crossword 53
This year's Christmas crossword appears pretty standard, to begin with, given that it's a simple square consisting of 29 x 29 boxes. As usual, the clues must be solved in order to reveal the answer to the crossword which is spelled out by the numbered blue boxes. But as we implied earlier, this crossword will be a little more difficult than usual... because the clues have all been written by Duke.
High quality Download (2105px x 2105px)
High Quality & High Contrast for those perhaps with who need better visibilty
Yes, that's right, Torn's own Shirley Prima Dante Calabrese has been hired to write up your clues for this month's crossword. The idea for this came from Rab, who has also put up $500 million of his own cash as a prize. Rab usually runs a generous $1 sale each Christmas time to give something back to the Torn community, but this year, he's decided to do something a little different.
"I wanted to offer something bigger, something better this year for Rab's Special Giveaway! Instead of the usual Christmas $1 Sale, the players of Torn deserve better and we hope they will enjoy this as much as I have." - Rab
Let's see if you do. Here are the clues for this month's crossword, as written by Duke. Good luck... because you'll need it.
Clues
Across
1.) Yous can put your real nice shirts on one of these if u want i aint gonna make you just throw em on the floor i dont care (10)
5.) Real fancy weapons come in em (6)
7.) Duke was generus on this day (5,6)
10.) That miserable bastard Scrooge shot me in the balls with this (4,6)
11.) A CT game what should pay out mary jane (3)
13.) Duke drinks six of these a hour true storie (5)
15.) Some mooks drink this as a slammer but duke prefers kamikaze (7)
16.) Eh i dunno what a critical hit buff is but stevie wonder got two of these (7)
17.) “The ______ are on but nobodys home” is what people say about Duke sometimes before i hit em (6)
19.) Duke dont accept these he wants real cash or blood when you owe me (3)
20.) What the **** is a gnome? Duke dont even know what that is. (5)
23.) Duke wipes his behind with this thing what sugervalves writes (9)
26.) If yous write down my name and then the name of that laotian guy you will get this but its a real crappy clue for a real crappy answer duke thinks (4,6)
31.) When dukes feelin swanky he wears a suit a shirt and a ___ (3)
32.) Some kinda fake money in christmas town??? (4)
33.) The answer is marketmanipulation cause duke cant be ****** to think of a clue for ya. Merry freakin christmas (6,12)
34.) Dukes got stock in this and it makes him happy for once (3)
36.) Some doc told Duke not to take this cause its for horses but it stops duke feelin stuff so i take it anyway (8)
38.) dukes second favorite white stuff after nose beers (4)
40.) Duke aint never done these drugs cause he aint a god damn hippy (7)
42.) Me? That all you got crossword man? The word me? You are a lazy little **** (2)
43.) Duke takes this to make him real strong and dextor...dexterio... strong. Real strong. (3)
45.) Dukes is 46 or thats what i tell the ladies ;) (3)
46.) They got a type for pants vest helmet gloves and boots. (6)
47.) I gonna use this to whack youoff real hard (8)
48.) Duke gets all his jeans from here or i get em from Big Ron's Designer Jeans Outlet its just off the freeway turn 5 its a sweet place make sure u mention DUKE when u go cause Big Ron will give yous a discount but dont call him Big Ron to his face cause he got a glandular problem okay? (5,5)
50.) How you got a tent made of beer? Oh i get it its where beer is. (8)
53.) Duke has these when he thinks of penelope (5)
56.) Some kind of skill thing in Torn. It looks like when a brittish guy is introducin himself heheh (3)
57.) Duke hates it when he gets vicodin in these (8)
59.) Duke red this book and it aint make him that happy tbh (9,2,5)
62.) If duke points his laser sight at yous this is gonna be on youre fourhead (3)
64.) Ergo aint a word kid yous just makin em up now (4)
65.) Christmas is the season for ______ and bein real generus (6)
67.) Dukes is made of cashmear cause he got money (7)
68.) One of them casino games that punk leslie probably rigs too (7)
69.) Dukes accountant says it means “every year” but hes a lil poindexter so what does he know eh? (6)
70.) If yous dont pay your loans duke will inflicts severe mental and physical suffering and you wil call me your ________ (9)
71.) One of them new war ranks (7)
72.) Yous can open a chest with these but not the best kind of chest heheh sorry (6,3)
Down
2.) If yous got one of these your CT map aint crappy (8)
3.) Some game on the christmas map? i dont even care no more (11,3)
4.) Duke is bored now. Whats this? That new type of warring. Uhhh real exciting (6)
5.) Duke hates this weird baby whys he evan got a bow and arrow for is he a pedo? (5)
6.) Duke is this when he is clothed or naked (4)
7.) Theres a book called this called _____ over brains (5)
8.) Them crummy cars with three wheels i hate em (7,5)
9.) Duke used to love it when penelope bended over in them (4,5)
12.) Dont let that spanish guy put his umbrella in yous cause its covered in this crap (5)
14.) Make duke happy and give him a sexy coupon for xmas (11,7)
16.) Where all dukes speshul prizes are goin right now (4)
18.) Why dont u just call em small oranges then ffs? (10)
21.) U aint supposed to call white people this it makes em angry but duke is italian so he can say it whenever i want and also its a christmas item i guess??? (7)
22.) What duke wears under his jeans every day (6,7)
24.) If duke aint have his own privat jet he would buy this stock but he does cause he aint poor (3)
25.) Another one of them borin war ranks apparentlie (8)
27.) Duke likes this semi auto pistol its good for poppin punks in the pelvis (3)
28.) One time duke tryed to _____ himself through poetry but people laughed so i burnt down a bookstore they aint laughin now (7)
29.) Yous can get clever real quick with this but knowladge is overrated (4,2,6)
30.) If yous dont stfu duke will put this on your mouth (4,4)
31.) Yous all get one of these for free to live in but some jabroni sent duke a bunch cause he has no life (7)
35.) Some real tough guys get this tattoed on one hand and hate on the other but they always look dumb when its finished (4)
37.) Gets me outta tha friggin hospital real quick (8)
39.) That faction what aint too happy about what midknight was givin em so they ran off squealin to their new boyfriends I heard (4,4)
40.) That CT game what is real cute but not that realistic cause u can get the claws taken off a animal if u want to but duke thinks you aint shoulda do that cause its real cruel and duke will HURT YOU IF YOU DO IT (5,5)
41.) Duke wears one of these on his face when he pretends to be old saint nick givin out toys (5,5)
42.) If I give yous one of these you better damnwell do it (7)
44.) Miserable p***k (7)
49.) This freakin place (4)
50.) You dangel em off trees (6)
51.) One of them new armor sets what duke will pay good money for (3)
52.) Duke does whatever this artical tells him too every month (9)
53.) duke dont know what a utensil is. some kind of spaghetti spoons? (7)
54.) Mean green guy with a big ass not hulk (6)
55.) That mask does look like a butthole and duke knows cause dueks seen a lot of buttholes (8)
58.) Dukes favorite key type and shower type (6)
60.) When some kid calls somethin “epic” u know its gonna suck so yeah thats the word the word is epic dukes gettin bored of this now (4)
61.) A real fast shootin weapon type what am gonna shoot the crossword guy with cause hurry up this is boring (3)
63.) What the crossword guy gonna feel when i threaten him for not hurryin the **** up (6)
65.) This is a type of present right? Next one moron (4)
66.) Duke likes to do this to evidance bookstores and people what WASTE MY TIME!!! (4)
67.) Duke had to google this. It means cunning. We done yet? (3)
69.) Are you kiddin me? Its three damn letters. And its the same letter. And its the letter A. THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST DAMM CROSSWORD DUKES EVER SEEN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DO YOU NEED A SLAP PUNK? (3)
If you are somehow able to figure out the answers to Duke's clues, please send the solution to the crossword and a fully-solved version of the puzzle via mail to ArttiIsGod by the 31st of December. The first person to send a fully solved crossword will receive $500 million and one of our new Christmas masks - you may choose which one you receive. Three random runner-uppers with fully solved crosswords will get $100 million each and a Christmas mask too. Whoever provides us with a nicely drawn and fully solved crossword will get $200 million and a Christmas mask.
Good luck, happy solving, and Merry Freakin Christmas!
Original article
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