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V-Day Roundup

sugarvalves [1963573]
Find out who did what this Valentine's Day, including news on Monarch's raid, PT's quintuple chain effort, the end of a record-breaking raid, and the Dirty Bomb that never was.
Valentine's Day 2022 was slightly quieter than last year, with 579,836 total attacks made on the 14th compared to 601,905 in 2021. The overall event saw fewer attacks made too, with 2021's total of 1,149,490 outstripping this year's 1,112,261 attacks registered from the 13th to the 15th.


Pictured: Attacks made one-year graph.

But despite there being fewer attacks, there was still plenty of drama during the Valentine's Day event, with a huge raid, multiple chains, and a conspicuously absent Dirty Bomb dominating the discourse.


SA Raided


The headline news this Valentine's Day was Monarch HQ's huge raid on Subversive Alliance. This attack began just 27 seconds after the effects of Love Juice kicked in, and damage was still being done to SA at the time of writing, with 91,000+ respect taken thus far.


Pictured: M v SA Raid graph.

Current SA leader Ashanie told the Times that she believed this raid would only end when Monarch hit a 50k chain. On Thursday morning, M had achieved a 25k chain that was now in cooldown, indicating that for the most part, Monarch's raid may now be over. Monarch leader Hank told the TCT that their assault on SA represented an appropriate and proportional response to the attacks they received at their hands in late 2021.

"The Monarch family is seeking to square the ledger with SA (and meat shields) in a similar overly aggressive and over the top manner they demonstrated to us over Halloween when they dropped two Dirty Bombs on us and grid locked our territory movement through fake wars."

"Monarch leadership felt a raid is the perfect choice to inflict maximum initial damage to Submissive Alliance family by disrupting their normal game play and ruining another event for them. Additionally the challenge of hunting SA in South Africa and the like created a fun new challenge for our members beyond the typical challenge of holding the chain." -
Hank, Monarch HQ leader


Pictured: SA in SA on Valentine's Day.

For much of this raid, many of Subversive Alliance's members were in South Africa, but Monarch was undeterred, with their troops seen flying out to Johannesburg to hunt down their prey and chew them up with their little butterfly mouths. Many assumed that SA had simply fled to South Africa in order to avoid Monarch's attention after the raid began, but Ashanie insists their trip had been planned the week before.

"After the bomb on Tuesday, we (SA Leadership) had given the voting options to members to decide the next best course of action. Considering the significant loss of stats due to radiation poisoning and the possibility of being hit with bonus hits in our weakened state, we opted for an activity that would keep us out of reach from most of Torn." - Ashanie

The bomb to which Ashanie is referring is the Dirty Bomb detonated against SA by ovoxo. This attack, which took place on the 7th of Feb, removed 461,108 respect from Subversive Alliance, injuring 515 citizens in the process. In a preemptive forum post, Ovoxo was at pains to point out that this wasn't a Monarch bomb, despite the fact that he himself is a member of Monarch Research.

"YMCMT are group of individuals with the willpower to shake things up in Torn and turn it into our playground. Headed by Champion, dAV, Uncle and I - our aims are stats, wealth, notoriety and power. The fun has ONLY just begun. Stay tuned in for more excellence." - Ovoxo

If you believe Ovoxo's claims, then boy do I have a portfolio of worthless digital monkeys to sell you. SA wasn't buying it either, as their swiftly booked flights to South Africa demonstrated. They knew that this bomb represented a first strike by Monarch ahead of further warring action, and were wary of suffering further respect losses until the warm glow of radioactive failure wore off.

"Congratulations MIA for being the best Hunter in SA, it was a well-deserved win! (They had opted for a parachute instead). As luck would have it, M had resorted to raiding at the start of the Vday event. We believe they're picking on us just to set an example and intimidate others into staying clear of their destructive path."
- Ashanie

The idea of SA being picked on will be amusing to many given their history of territorial conquest and racketeering in Torn City. While those days may be long gone, Torn's citizens have long memories and are prone to holding grudges. Just prior to Valentine's Day, we received news that another Dirty Bomb was currently being prepared, and that SA was among three potential targets.


Nuke Averted


TiredSaladlego has been threatening to dump a Dirty Bomb on someone for a while now, and on Valentine's Day, he was prepared to launch his device at either SA, Chain Reaction, or PT-Family. But as we all know by now, this never happened.

"CR, SA, PT were targets. SA was target cuz an SA member was paying 25b to DB his own fac. PT was a target cuz someone from ME was paying 20b to DB PT. CR cuz f**k CR." - TiredSaladlego

In a conversation with the Torn City Times that took place on Sunday, TiredSaladlego confessed that PT-Family was his intended choice for the bomb. However, when a member of SA offered him $5b more to bomb their own faction, TSL rapidly switched targets. SA got wind of this, and TSL says that one of their members made an offer of $10b in protection money if he would choose another target.

"The SA member [who offered $25b] is pretty pissed at the lack of activity and leaders stepping up to fill roles. That's that the gist is. I can't take names." - TiredSaladlego

Discord screenshots leaked by Champion in the M vs SA raid thread seem to back up claims of disharmony within the SA ranks, but it is still shocking to hear that one of their members would spend so much money to Dirty Bomb their own faction. SA leader Ashanie does not deny that protection money was offered to TSL, but heavily disputes the amounts involved.

"Someone in the leadership team had acted on their own to bid for the protection of SA. The amount involved was 1.6B (not 10B) and it was from their own pockets. It was an act of friendship and I only got to know of the deal after it had been finalised. The leader in question was trying to protect me on my 1st week in the big chair."
- Ashanie

Ashanie also says that the self-sabotaging bomb claims are unproven at this point, although the faction does have a theory regarding these rumours. Nevertheless, Ashanie admits that the mere possibility of a self-inflicted bomb prompted SA leaders to reach out to their members to address any grievances within the faction.

But in the end, SA never did receive a bomb in the post from TiredSaladlego. And the reason was to be found in a bug report.


The Longest Raid


Late on the 13th, TiredSaladlego joined The Equalizer 3 United, a faction whose long-running beef with SA is well known. EQ3 holds the record for the biggest raid in Torn City history, having begun hitting SA in July 2020 with a Dirty Bomb strike that took 475,336 respect. EQ3 has maintained a small roster of members to prevent recriminations ever since, and their record-breaking raid was continued through occasional attacks by and against their remaining members, with leader bad_azz_billy professing his intention to keep the raid going indefinitely last November.



Why does this matter? Well, when the self-bombing offer came in from a member of SA, TiredSaladlego's plan was to join EQ3 and add another several hundred thousand respect to this raid, thus becoming part of Torn City history. However, EQ3's raid was unexpectedly ended by SA sometime before Valentine's Day, much to everyone's surprise.

The losing faction should only be able to cease a raid when 72 hours have elapsed without an attack. However, this raid was ended on the grounds that EQ3's membership dropped below 10, a rule many were unaware of since it did not appear on the Wiki. Chedburn tells me that this rule has been in place since raiding was reintroduced, which raises the amusing possibility that SA could've stopped this record-breaking raid a long time ago, and simply hadn't noticed.

Ashanie says this is not true, and insists that SA's decision to end the raid was made in the light of Monarch's actions.

"Honestly, we never actively bothered about it (the raid). But the presence of a person with a DB in possession did put us on alert. We had a discussion in our leadership channel and decided a subsequent DB with a raid may set a record for most respect lost during a Raid and decided not to play that game. We're just doing things at our own pace... Having a geek memorise fun facts in wiki pages help too." - Ashanie

EQ3's raid total stood at 490,930 when it ended, with SA hitting back for 29,526 in response, and this remains the most destructive raid in Torn City history thus far. However, with TiredSaladlego's ambitions to increase this now curtailed, and a Dirty Bomb burning a hole in the pocket of his massive trousers, it was time for a decision to be made.

TSL says that the self-hating SA member upped their offer to $35 billion, and this was soon followed by a PT member offering to buy their side off the list too. As Valentine's Day came and went, TSL still hadn't made a decision, with multiple factions still under consideration to this day. So who will TiredSaladlego choose to attack? And what do the various leaders of these factions think about it?

MeanMike of CR says that his side doesn't fear being bombed, since they are neither moving on anyone's territories nor have they bombed anyone themselves.

"We chain the respect back in a months time, if we even feel like bothering, because at this point, it would take 3-4 DBs to actually lose any perks that would bother us, and that's 60b that someone that hates us isn't going to spend on SE's, which to me, is a lot scarier use of that money from anyone that really has it out for us."
- MeanMike

Ashanie of SA believes that TiredSaladlego is simply a young player being manipulated by Monarch for their own agenda so they can avoid responsibility. She, like the rest of us, knows not where TiredSaladlego will deploy his bomb, but Ashanie did reveal that SA's faction chat has been privy to some interesting news of late.

"In the past few days, the faction chat was riddled with glimpses of some juicy gossip damning information. From a rich benefactor pumping in 155K (USD) in Donator packs, to purchasing Dirty Bombs bids, to ego-stroking forum posts. Our members read them, laugh and continue to make fun of it."

It should also be noted that while all of this in-game drama played out, Ashanie has also suffered a personal loss in real life. Ashanie paid tribute to her faction members for rallying around her in her time of need and thanked them for taking the time to check on her and send encouragement during what is proving to be a testing time for both SA and their leader.

"Despite all the odds against us, we're keeping our heads up and morale high. Laughing it off and carrying on. Even if it means playing from the hospital and or soaring high in the skies in our fancy flights. We're playing at our own pace. This is, a game after all. If you're feeling too strongly about it, I suggest they seek therapy and maybe some fresh air & sunshine."
- Ashanie


PT Chain-Smoking


The only target we haven't heard from yet is PT, and there's a very good reason for that. While everyone else was busy raiding, complaining, and zipping up their Hazmats, the PT factions showed Torn why they are the city's premier chaining family, with all five PT-branded sides putting in five-figure chains during the Valentine's Day event.


Pictured: PT-Family's current activities.

PT-Family was just under 8k short of its first official 50k chain at noon on Thursday, but their leader xanty marked out Calculated and Shadowrazers for special praise instead. When we interviewed the PT boss, Calculated and Shadowrazers were involved in a head-to-head battle to see who could finish their 25k first.

"We have four active factions that want action, and having them in the top 10 fastest chains of the 2022 Valentine's Event only shows how awesome all PT Leaders are doing! Regarding PT-S, Zuni and ThtAstronautGuy are doing a very good job putting into shape S members that are with us since November, they have the mentallity to fight and the proof is that they almost could keep up with PT-Family speed. Any interruption that might happen will be because of the potential incoming DB." - xanty

As it turned out, the Dirty Bomb that was originally meant for PT-Family never came their way, and unless it does so soon, they look certain to achieve their first official 50k chain. The other PT factions were also left to chain freely during Valentine's Day and beyond, and in the end, it was Shadowrazers who would emerge victorious in their quest to hit 25k first. PT-Family achieved theirs even quicker still, with PT-Ironhearts also hitting 25k on their way to a potential 50k chain, and PT-Penguins putting in a 10k chain too.

"Yes PT-Penguins albeit having a ton of retired players they managed to do their First ever 10k! Was awesome, alguem and his team are doing a good job." - Xanty

At the time of writing, PT-Calculated was continuing their chain, with their current total of 33,000+ hinting at their own bid to reach the magic 50k total alongside PT-F and PT-I.

But is TiredSaladlego about to interrupt them?


Double Or Quits

TiredSaladlego has had his fair share of criticism over the past few days in response to his blueballing of the Torn community. If you say you're going to drop a Dirty Bomb, you kinda have to do it - although that's easy to say when you're not the one who paid for it.

TSL tells me that when the EQ3 situation fell apart his first thought was to accept the protection cash from PT and SA, hit Chain Reaction, and then head over to join Monarch. However, if SA's self-hating member was to pay them $40b, TSL would call it quits and just bomb Subversive Alliance instead. But then someone whispered in TSL's ear, and he changed his mind.



TSL is now looking to acquire a second bomb and double up on the fun, but we aren't sure when the double detonation will take place. My sources tell me that numerous other factions have been added to TSL's targets, with the list of buyers going up by the minute. Here are all the offers we know about so far:

  • A member of PT has offered to buy one bomb outright.
  • The self-hating SA member offered $35b to bomb WarBirds, then went back to their original target of SA, before asking TSL to wait.
  • A member of ME offered $15b cash to bomb PT-Family.
  • A member of HT-O is interested in paying for a drop on Chain Reaction.
  • Members of NS have been in touch with TSL with offers to bomb an unknown faction.
  • Ohadik has not made an offer, but his forum rants have led to a member of SA-OP to consider purchasing a bomb to launch at WarBirds to "shut him the f**k up".
TSL is currently adding to his Cesium stocks so he can finish up that second Dirty Bomb, but that is the limit of our knowledge on this matter. We have no idea when TSL will accept any of the offers put forward, nor how he plans to coordinate this double Dirty Bomb strike - several hours must elapse between consecutive bombings.

What we do know is that many factions will be treading cautiously over the next few weeks in anticipation of being one of TSL's two targets. Sources within PT say that their leaders have put a gag order in place regarding this situation, ordering their members to keep schtum and avoid drawing attention to themselves. I imagine similar moves have been made within SA and CR too, but I doubt that any of this will have an effect on the identity of the eventual victim.

TiredSaladlego appears likely to quit Torn after these bombings, and that makes him a dangerous man indeed. He had the opportunity to make a name for himself during Valentine's Day, but when the stars failed to align exactly as he wanted, he took a step back. TSL appears to be waiting for a chance to make the biggest impact and the most headlines. Whether he'll achieve that or not is something we'll have to wait and see.


"I don't wanna pull an ovoxo and do it boring." - TiredSaladlego


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