TiredSaladlego [2650699] —
Original article
Read on to find out how a 400 day-old player acquired five dirty bombs, what he plans to do with them, and when you should book a flight out of Torn City to escape the blast.
Last month I, TiredSaladlego, owner of one (1) Dirty Bomb, ran a poll asking which faction deserved to feel the warm glow of my radioactive attention. Monarch currently has the most votes at 394, with Chain Reaction in second, and Subversive Alliance in third. But as you all know by now, I never did detonate that bomb, despite receiving numerous offers of several billion dollars to tempt me.
My reasons for failing to fulfill my promise were outlined in the V-Day roundup article, but to put it simply, it wasn't the right time. I was quoted as saying that I didn't want my bomb drop to be boring like Ovoxo's, and that remains how I feel about the matter.
Or at least, it was.
72 Hours Til Sunshine
At 01:58 am TCT on Thursday, March 10th, I posted a thread in GD that revealed that I was now the owner of four (4) Dirty Bombs. I began with just the one, but a conversation with Torn City Timestroublemaker editor Sugarvalves convinced me that if I had the means to acquire a second bomb, I should double up for maximum fun.
But I didn't have the means to acquire two bombs. I had the means to acquire more than that. And as you may have seen while they were briefly put up in my display case, I am now the proud owner of five (5) Dirty Bombs all primed and ready to go.
Many people asked me when I was going to use these devices. It seems that most of Torn missed my announcement in the title that one would go off precisely 72 hours after the thread was posted. Will I make good on my promise this time? And if so, who will be the target? And how many will I drop? You'll have to wait and see.
How We Got Here
Aside from the who and the when, you may be curious to know how I managed to acquire five (5) Dirty Bombs aged just 412. There has been a great deal of speculation regarding my identity, with some people accusing me of being a restart. Batman has been keen to tell anyone who will listen (which isn't many) that I am in fact Td3h due to my immense networth and obsession with DBs.
While it is true I am a restart, I can confirm I am not Td3h, and nor was I anyone particularly famous. I was formerly Saladlego, albeit only for less than 100 days. Before that, I had another account whose name I cannot recall, which I also abandoned in 2019 and was part of the Memento Mori faction. So yes, I have experience of Torn beyond my 400 or so days here as TiredSaladlego. But with no improper trading taking place between my accounts, that still doesn't explain how I managed to gain five (5) Dirty Bombs.
The answer to that can be found at the Casino. I began my new Torn life doing odd jobs here and there, and at some point, I noticed I had received enough items from this venture that I could probably flip them for a decent profit. Like all smart businessmen, I took my profits to the Russian Roulette tables, where I grew my networth considerably after successfully avoiding shooting myself in the foot.
I used this money to buy and run a successful oil rig, which I then proceeded to sell in order to purchase a GAK. Around this time, I was wondering what to do with my Torn life, and in November 2021, I began discussions with NS Bomb Shelter about purchasing a Dirty Bomb. We settled on a price, and I decided I would purchase this in the new year... if I had the cash.
Then, I lost interest in Torn and gave my prized GAK away to a friend. But as you may have realized, I am quite prone to changing my mind when it suits me, and I returned in January to retrieve the GAK in order to sell it. Once more, in a move that clearly marks me out as a business genius, I put all of this cash on another two (2) games of Russian Roulette. And I won, again. Twice.
I then bought the GAK back from the person I'd sold it to and was about to send it back to my friend while also wasting the rest of my money on some other useless purchase. But then fate intervened. The DB owner I'd spoken to in November messaged me out of the blue:
"Yo I'm gonna sell it, you got the cash?"
And that is how I got my first DB.
Building The Collection
Since acquiring my first DB I have dabbled in stocks, gambling, and multiple games of RR in order to build my wealth, which in turn helped me to build my Dirty Bomb collection. You may have seen my Trading Post thread advertising the fact that I was purchasing bombs and cesium. Some people think that I've been stocking up on cesium in order to build my own bomb at a secret faction. This isn't true - I don't have the patience to wait seven (7) days.
I purchased all of my Dirty Bombs privately or through the item market, with the deals consisting of either cash or cash plus cesium. I cannot reveal anything else regarding these purchases as the whole point of them being private was to allow the sellers to get rid of their bombs without getting involved in politics, let alone the headache of being approached by Torn's top end.
One thing I can tell you is that in addition to the five (5) Dirty Bombs I currently own, I have actually had another in my possession previously, making my total DBs owned to six (6). I sold my sixth DB to YMCMT for $65b, and this group later used this device to bomb Subversive Alliance in early February.
What Next?
By the time this article goes out, there will be less than two days until my stated detonation time. Whether or not I go through with this bombing, I will still have a large number of Dirty Bombs at my disposal afterward. Dirty Bombs can be used six hours after the previous one, so if I wanted to, I could put the entirety of Torn on radioactive lockdown for thirty (30) hours.
To be honest, a lot of people have told me to space it out, and I'm pretty indecisive about whether to do this now. I could create the most explosive period in Torn's history, or I could wait and let them all off during the Dog Tags event. Whatever I decide, my main goal is to send a big f**k you to everyone who thought I was glitch monkeying when I was $25b rich, and others who said I'll never be rich as them.
I am now four (4) times richer than those who mocked me, and I am willing to blow it all. There's just something about seeing all that hard-earned respect vanish like *poof* that really appeals to me. Of course, some respect has been earned harder and more morally than others, so I have to be very picky about who exactly I deploy these five (5) Dirty Bombs against.
I briefly joined Subversive Alliance before I left for my current faction, but that does not mean that they aren't on my target list. I've received a lot of hard cash offers to target some of Torn's biggest factions, and SA are very much among them, along with the rest. Here are some of the targets and offers I can remember.
HT - $5b
Vault Inspection Party - $5b
NS2 - $10b
JFK - $10b
Monarch - $15b
CR - $20b
Warbirds - $30b
SA - $30b
There's enough money on the table to be able to purchase additional Dirty Bombs, and that's one of the things I might actually do instead of letting them off now. Yes, that's right, I may just reset the timer on Sunday morning's Dirty Bomb and save it for another day, perhaps when I have six (6) Dirty Bombs, or maybe seven (7).
I readily admit that I gave the people of Torn severe blue balls on Valentine's Day, and I know for a fact that several major factions made preparations as they were scared that my detonation would interrupt their chains. You can't be sure that I won't delay my bombings yet again, but you can't be sure that I will either. I am indecisive because I don't wanna become some odd player who just popped DBs and fell off.
I don't wanna make it boring. If I see it's boring. If I see there isn't excitement or chaos, I would stop. But for now, it's all going well. REALLY well. And to be honest, even I don't know when I'll decide to detonate these bombs. That's the kind of player I am. I don't care about networth. I don't care about leaderboards. I don't care about your respect, chains, reputations, or the public's feelings. When I drop these bombs, I'll do it when I want to, and it'll happen exactly how I want it to.
Or I'll just give them all to Duke idk.
UPDATE: 12th March. 02:00. PT-Family were the recipient of bomb number one.
UPDATE: 12th March. 13:00. The second bomb is on its way. Who is the target? Some say WAR. I'm saying nothing.
UPDATE: 12th March. 15:00. The second bomb was used against 39th Street Killers X.
UPDATE: 13th March. 17:00 The third bomb was used against Itsi Bitsi Bikini.
My reasons for failing to fulfill my promise were outlined in the V-Day roundup article, but to put it simply, it wasn't the right time. I was quoted as saying that I didn't want my bomb drop to be boring like Ovoxo's, and that remains how I feel about the matter.
Or at least, it was.
72 Hours Til Sunshine
At 01:58 am TCT on Thursday, March 10th, I posted a thread in GD that revealed that I was now the owner of four (4) Dirty Bombs. I began with just the one, but a conversation with Torn City Times
But I didn't have the means to acquire two bombs. I had the means to acquire more than that. And as you may have seen while they were briefly put up in my display case, I am now the proud owner of five (5) Dirty Bombs all primed and ready to go.
Many people asked me when I was going to use these devices. It seems that most of Torn missed my announcement in the title that one would go off precisely 72 hours after the thread was posted. Will I make good on my promise this time? And if so, who will be the target? And how many will I drop? You'll have to wait and see.
How We Got Here
Aside from the who and the when, you may be curious to know how I managed to acquire five (5) Dirty Bombs aged just 412. There has been a great deal of speculation regarding my identity, with some people accusing me of being a restart. Batman has been keen to tell anyone who will listen (which isn't many) that I am in fact Td3h due to my immense networth and obsession with DBs.
While it is true I am a restart, I can confirm I am not Td3h, and nor was I anyone particularly famous. I was formerly Saladlego, albeit only for less than 100 days. Before that, I had another account whose name I cannot recall, which I also abandoned in 2019 and was part of the Memento Mori faction. So yes, I have experience of Torn beyond my 400 or so days here as TiredSaladlego. But with no improper trading taking place between my accounts, that still doesn't explain how I managed to gain five (5) Dirty Bombs.
The answer to that can be found at the Casino. I began my new Torn life doing odd jobs here and there, and at some point, I noticed I had received enough items from this venture that I could probably flip them for a decent profit. Like all smart businessmen, I took my profits to the Russian Roulette tables, where I grew my networth considerably after successfully avoiding shooting myself in the foot.
I used this money to buy and run a successful oil rig, which I then proceeded to sell in order to purchase a GAK. Around this time, I was wondering what to do with my Torn life, and in November 2021, I began discussions with NS Bomb Shelter about purchasing a Dirty Bomb. We settled on a price, and I decided I would purchase this in the new year... if I had the cash.
Then, I lost interest in Torn and gave my prized GAK away to a friend. But as you may have realized, I am quite prone to changing my mind when it suits me, and I returned in January to retrieve the GAK in order to sell it. Once more, in a move that clearly marks me out as a business genius, I put all of this cash on another two (2) games of Russian Roulette. And I won, again. Twice.
I then bought the GAK back from the person I'd sold it to and was about to send it back to my friend while also wasting the rest of my money on some other useless purchase. But then fate intervened. The DB owner I'd spoken to in November messaged me out of the blue:
"Yo I'm gonna sell it, you got the cash?"
And that is how I got my first DB.
Building The Collection
Since acquiring my first DB I have dabbled in stocks, gambling, and multiple games of RR in order to build my wealth, which in turn helped me to build my Dirty Bomb collection. You may have seen my Trading Post thread advertising the fact that I was purchasing bombs and cesium. Some people think that I've been stocking up on cesium in order to build my own bomb at a secret faction. This isn't true - I don't have the patience to wait seven (7) days.
I purchased all of my Dirty Bombs privately or through the item market, with the deals consisting of either cash or cash plus cesium. I cannot reveal anything else regarding these purchases as the whole point of them being private was to allow the sellers to get rid of their bombs without getting involved in politics, let alone the headache of being approached by Torn's top end.
One thing I can tell you is that in addition to the five (5) Dirty Bombs I currently own, I have actually had another in my possession previously, making my total DBs owned to six (6). I sold my sixth DB to YMCMT for $65b, and this group later used this device to bomb Subversive Alliance in early February.
What Next?
By the time this article goes out, there will be less than two days until my stated detonation time. Whether or not I go through with this bombing, I will still have a large number of Dirty Bombs at my disposal afterward. Dirty Bombs can be used six hours after the previous one, so if I wanted to, I could put the entirety of Torn on radioactive lockdown for thirty (30) hours.
To be honest, a lot of people have told me to space it out, and I'm pretty indecisive about whether to do this now. I could create the most explosive period in Torn's history, or I could wait and let them all off during the Dog Tags event. Whatever I decide, my main goal is to send a big f**k you to everyone who thought I was glitch monkeying when I was $25b rich, and others who said I'll never be rich as them.
I am now four (4) times richer than those who mocked me, and I am willing to blow it all. There's just something about seeing all that hard-earned respect vanish like *poof* that really appeals to me. Of course, some respect has been earned harder and more morally than others, so I have to be very picky about who exactly I deploy these five (5) Dirty Bombs against.
I briefly joined Subversive Alliance before I left for my current faction, but that does not mean that they aren't on my target list. I've received a lot of hard cash offers to target some of Torn's biggest factions, and SA are very much among them, along with the rest. Here are some of the targets and offers I can remember.
HT - $5b
Vault Inspection Party - $5b
NS2 - $10b
JFK - $10b
Monarch - $15b
CR - $20b
Warbirds - $30b
SA - $30b
There's enough money on the table to be able to purchase additional Dirty Bombs, and that's one of the things I might actually do instead of letting them off now. Yes, that's right, I may just reset the timer on Sunday morning's Dirty Bomb and save it for another day, perhaps when I have six (6) Dirty Bombs, or maybe seven (7).
I readily admit that I gave the people of Torn severe blue balls on Valentine's Day, and I know for a fact that several major factions made preparations as they were scared that my detonation would interrupt their chains. You can't be sure that I won't delay my bombings yet again, but you can't be sure that I will either. I am indecisive because I don't wanna become some odd player who just popped DBs and fell off.
I don't wanna make it boring. If I see it's boring. If I see there isn't excitement or chaos, I would stop. But for now, it's all going well. REALLY well. And to be honest, even I don't know when I'll decide to detonate these bombs. That's the kind of player I am. I don't care about networth. I don't care about leaderboards. I don't care about your respect, chains, reputations, or the public's feelings. When I drop these bombs, I'll do it when I want to, and it'll happen exactly how I want it to.
Or I'll just give them all to Duke idk.
UPDATE: 12th March. 02:00. PT-Family were the recipient of bomb number one.
UPDATE: 12th March. 13:00. The second bomb is on its way. Who is the target? Some say WAR. I'm saying nothing.
UPDATE: 12th March. 15:00. The second bomb was used against 39th Street Killers X.
UPDATE: 13th March. 17:00 The third bomb was used against Itsi Bitsi Bikini.
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