sugarvalves [1963573] —
Original article
Find out who had their matchmaking delayed by two years, why Realistassasin isn't actually joining CR, who won big in the Lucky Dip, and where the UK's very own TornCon might take place!
Welcome to the latest edition of the Torn City's Local News column, where we investigate some of the smaller stories you may have missed recently. In this month's article, we cover the covid wedding catastrophé, the results of the lucky dip, LONDON's mysterious new logo, the potential site of a UK TornCon, and a godawful attempt by Champion to troll the Torn City Times.
DELAYED MATCHMAKING
Cast your mind back to May 2020. The Coronavirus pandemic was in full swing, Gal Gadot's celebrity-riddled cover of Imagine was fresh in the memory, and I'd hoarded more toilet paper than I could shake a suspiciously brown stick at.
With a deadly virus on the loose, global lockdowns meant that everyone's plans for the year were put on hold indefinitely. Sadly, that included Queen-Warly-Woo and Prince-5T3N, who had planned to get married on May 27th, 2020.
"So both my fiancé (5T3N) and I are Torn players. We were due to be married on Tuesday 26th May this year and due to Covid-19 and myself being in the extremely vulnerable list causing us as a family to shield, we have had to cancel the wedding and push it back a year."
Remember when we all thought this s**t would be over in a year? Oh what naive fools we were. Thankfully, two years on from the pandemic's inception, things are kinda but not really but mostly slightly a bit better now, and that means that Queen-Warly-Woo's wedding is back on! And it's happening tomorrow!
"On Friday 27th at 10:30tct (because let's face it we all work in TCT IRL too) Prince-5T3N [2156450], Leader of Shadow Healers will be crowned King-5t3n as we finally get to say our wedding vows! This is also a weekend of celebrations as he has put up with me for 13yrs this year!"
"Thanks to Covid - we physically could not have the wedding we originally planned as some close family members are sadly no longer with us - so we stuck a middle finger up to a traditional wedding and instead, it will be the two of us along with our son and two of our best friends - who also play Torn - BeefSupreme69 [2757086] and Sugadip-pflaps [2636113]!! So in essence a real Torn wedding!!"
Pictured: Torn wedding confetti.
Prince-5T3N, who will soon change his name to King-5T3N, is the leader of the Shadow Healers faction. His wife, Queen-Warly-Woo, recently took ownership and leadership of the Vinerri faction. QWW says that both of their respective factions have been supportive of their nuptials, even going so far as to avoid ranked wars for the week of their wedding.
Or at least that was the plan.
"My wonderful Co-L Buster [310363] who knows me so well enlisted us anyway! So of course I couldn't say no and put the wedding plans to one side and joined in with the fun of fighting and killing!! -Thankfully, he didn't go through with his plan of contacting Ched and asking for a match specifically on my wedding day; as all of Vinerri know I would be walking down the aisle whilst saying hold on I just need to kill a few people."
Former Shadow Healers co-leader Lady-Khy has written a poem for the happy couple that will be read out at the ceremony. I'm sure I speak for everyone in Torn when I offer my congratulations to Queen-Warly-Woo and King-5T3N and wish them well for the future.
See, we told you Torn's new matchmaking system worked.
RANK TACTICS
Several players have been in touch recently to tell us about some rather odd strategies being deployed during Ranked Warring battles. Has your faction been a victim of underhand or unexpected tactics? Have you noticed any interesting behaviours by your opponents or factionmates during ranked wars?
If so, please contact The Times with your observations, and if your comments are published in our forthcoming article on how Ranked Warring has changed Torn forever, you will receive a Donator Pack.
100 DAY AWARDS
Kwyy managed to achieve 204 awards by day 100, and they've since gone on to nab another 24 in the 60 or so days that followed. Have you earned more awards before day 100? Has someone you know managed this? Let us know!
CARBONATED COLA?
Earlier this month, a player called Gullible contacted The Times to tell us that Realistassasin of Monarch HQ may soon be on the move... to Chain Reaction.
"Since the joining of a few members to monarch I have spoke to RA about he's not happy (tho he proclaimes in the forums he is) about a certain someone joining monarch, he's said a few times he might leave else where and go to CR because "the rules would be less restrictive than this pile of shit" small arguments have happened but it's looking like a few top players could leave."
My suspicions were immediately aroused by the name of my so-called informant, but with nothing better to do, I decided to investigate this story nonetheless. I began by interviewing Realistassasin, who denied he was moving to CR, but admitted he was on his way out of Monarch due to the issues between himself and leadership.
"Whoever told you I am going to CR is a rumour, that's not true. I am very likely to be heading to Carbon with a bunch of peeps and just confirming a few things."
Carbon is a new name on the faction scene after Madmiketyson of PnB recently announced that his faction, one of the oldest names in Torn City history, would be rebranded as part of its merger with The UnLeashed Sykoz, which itself is now known as Carbon. So is this true? Would a decent, hardworking leader like Madmiketyson associate himself with the most notorious member of the Scum Squad? No, obviously not.
"We haven’t really thought about external recruitment yet. I am concentrating on making sure we juggle the current rosters in the best way possible to set the whole group up for success as a new family in Torn! If anybody from Monarch is thinking of a change of scenery, they haven’t spoken to me about it." - Madmiketyson
Less than two days after Carbon's merger, the Monarch-affiliated YMCMT group declared war on them, with former Torn City Times reporter Champion stating that their motive was JoeExotic's exclusion from the Carbon leadership team. This would be a rather juicy development indeed... if any of it were true.
"Lol champion is just trolling, I'm good with everyone in Carbon and its home for me. I'm just here [in WTF] trying my luck in cache farming and the reviving arm of mug's factions." - JoeExotic
"I think most of YMCMT were previously in TuS so I think that thread is just some banter between friends." - Madmiketyson
Further untruths were to follow, with Champion attempting to convince me that he would be joining Realistassasin at Carbon, along with a number of other players who can't gain top HoF leadership positions because nobody takes them seriously anymore, such as dav, uncle, and ovoxo.
Pictured: YMCMT (Young Men's Chode Management Team), whose meeting minutes are written in safety crayon and tears.
The only real story out of all of this mess is the formation of Carbon from the rosters of PnB and TuS. With the heavyweights from these two factions now combined within TuS's shell, we now have another major player at the top end of Torn's faction scene. But how are people reacting to yet another big faction hookup?
"The response to our merger has been overwhelmingly positive- even more so than I anticipated. There are some good folk in most of the major factions and I’m not anticipating any conflict with anybody until we start trying to carve out our own piece of the map in the not too distant future." - Madmiketyson
And as for good old Gullible, a.k.a. redrocket_rev, a player described by one source as "one of the least likable monarch folk", well I simply can't wait for them to slip me more solid facts once they've finished their shift at the **** ****ing factory.
Larger Link
LUCKY DIP DRAW
The winners of Easter's Lucky Dip were drawn earlier this month, but before we reveal who took home a fantastic prize, let's laugh at some of those who would have won a prize if they hadn't been disqualified, shall we?
Spongyboy - Chocolate Egg '05 - Multi
Mystic - Dual Samurai Swords - Duplicate post
Chummy25 - 3x Donator Pack - Duplicate post
Jonar1 - 5x Donator Pack - Duplicate post
RichmanRichie - 25x Munster - Duplicate post
FOOLISHMADMAN - 75x Lottery Voucher - Duplicate post
Aetrus - 50x Drug Pack - Duplicate post
Fanta_phix - 100x Xanax - Multi
When it comes to the actual winners, JKyte and Bennett were up at the top after winning a Welding Helmet each. Several collectibles were also up for grabs, with Waffles winning a Chocolate Egg '05, HanSandwich taking a Royal Doll, and JimmyTheHammer receiving a Single White Rose. But it was Warthin who won the top prize of a Hazmat Suit after posting this absolutely sensational fact about the Easter Bunny.
Pictured: Proof, if it were needed, that these winners are chosen at random. Larger Link
A full list of thepeople to buymug lucky dip winners can be found here.
A POLITE REMINDER
I would like to politely remind the community that we do actually read your submissions to Tell Your Story, and sometimes, we publish them. Thanks, Lbarron, for this fascinating insight into your proclivities.
Larger Link
TINY PANTS LEADER
Earlier this year, MrFeng of Vinerri contacted us with some salacious gossip regarding the leader of Vinerri.
Larger Link
If this message had been sent recently it would not be newsworthy, given that Vinerri's current leader, the soon-to-be-married Queen-Warly-Woo, is indeed a woman, and I'm sure I read somewhere that they are entitled to wear women's "underware." However, since MrFeng's message refers to "him", I can only presume the tiny pants wearer to which he is referring is Vinerri's former leader, Pannenkoek.
Larger Link
LONDON'S POLLUTED AIR
An anonymous player contacted The Times to tell us that AiR of Chain Reaction has been put in temporary charge of the LONDON faction. Based on this development, many are now wondering whether CR has purchased LONDON, and their current banner image is doing nothing to dispel such rumours.
Larger Link
A LONDON insider tells us that CR has not actually purchased the faction and that the above banner was made to troll the community. However, one rumour that does appear to have some truth to it is the story that LONDON is building a Dirty Bomb, with the intention of dropping it on a top seven faction.
Larger Link
This story was later updated by my anonymous source who said that LONDON doesn't own the bomb they are making, and they are merely hosting its build. Do you know who really owns LONDON's dirty bomb? How close is Chain Reaction to the LONDON lads? Contact The Times today.
ANOTHER POLITE REMINDER
Thanks, Sparks42069, for sharing your fantasies with us.
Larger Link
CACHE CRAZY
How many Advanced Weapon and Armor caches have you opened? Is it more than Dickbutt? Get in touch!
"I think I own the record for most ranked war caches opened. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I started at 1.2b networth and my networth is estimated at nearly 30b now. It's been crazy." - Dickbutt
GET T'T TORNCON, LAD
Are you a Torn player from Yorkshire? Then put down your whippet and drop Daisyju a message, because she wants to meet you. Alone. Or in a group. Either's fine.
"I have noticed when chatting and reading posts on both faction chats and some discord channels related to Torn just how many people who play torn actually live in the UK and moreover how many live within 100 mile radius of my home here in Yorkshire."
"It set me wondering as to how many of those people would be interested in meeting up ,like a mini torncon , I even came up with a venue as we have a pub/ restaurant/Hotel nearby that is actually located about 1 mile from the m1 junction."
This event is in the early stages of planning, and Daisyju admits she hasn't yet looked into the costs related to venue hire or accommodation. But for Torn's UK-based players, a trip to God's Own Country would certainly be far less pricey than a flight and stay in Washington DC. And while you're visiting Yorkshire, you could even hop over the border to Lancashire, where someone might actually put their hand in their pocket and buy you a drink.
"If anyone would like to meet up and put names to faces drop me a message or timbott on discord and depending on numbers we will see if anything becomes an unofficial Yorkshire torncon."
Please note that all TornCon events are unofficial. We bear no responsibility for the kind of people you'll meet at these things.
MEAT GRINDER
Several players have contacted The Times to ask us to report on the growing trend of new player exploitation by established HOF factions. One of my anonymous sources cited the example of DUBAI, who claimed to have been booted from and bountied by Bloodbath and Beyond after refusing to pay the Xanax tax.
"Charging xanax for minimum hits, requiring users to pay for boosters to make those hits during almost weekly 50k chains. Only allowing the same person to do bonus hits in every chain. Saying they're like a family but then asking you to leave if you can't pay them xanex. The subject of high-ranking meat grinders seems like a decent gossip article." - Anon
It does indeed. If you have been exploited by your faction and would like to share your story in confidence or publicly, contact the Torn City Times today.
A GOOD DEED
The Torn City Times would like to express its gratitude to Hanky, whose dutiful reporting of suspicious activity led to the federal jailing of an entire faction!
"I was browsing factions that had the name of my country to see if there was people playing torn in my country, then i stumble upon a sketchy faction."
Larger Link
"It was rather strange and almost everyone in there has no honor bar and almost everyone registered their accounts around 3-5 days, so I figured it was all multis, I reported it immediately and sure enough it was a one-man faction handling 13 accounts."
Thank you to Hanky and anyone else who has reported a scumbag this week. If you've noticed something suspicious that you feel warrants investigation, please contact a member of staff.
R/PLACE
Did you see the Torn City logo appear on Reddit's r/place last month? If not, then worry no more, for he77789 has preserved the evidence for posterity. That link will take you to he77789's full report on this historic incident, where you can read all about the epic battle between Torn.com and Torn.c*m.
Larger Link
Oh, and I can confirm that the Reddit user called Chedburn69 who helped maintain this image was not our very own Chedburn, sadly. His reddit username is EvlDukluvr420.
A CONVENIENT EXCUSE
Nazmul-george loves to play poker. His favourite poker table is Fourplay. One year ago, the name of this table got him into trouble... or so he says.
"While waiting on that table, I looked on other tab for a while for some purpose. When I returned at table I found that someone came here and left immediately seeing me idle. It was a woman. I searched with her name and sent a message - wanna play fourplay with me?"
"Oh, my dear lord! My auto-correct option made that "FOREPLAY" and very next second I found myself in her block list. I talked about this with my friends and now they are calling me Mr. foreplay!"
What do you think, readers? Was Nazmul-george's typo merely an innocent mistake, or did he have a couple of Jacks on hand?
AN IMPOLITE REMINDER
Southkill has an important admission to make, for which he received a Donator Pack.
Larger Link
YOUR SUBMISSIONS
Thank you to everyone who submitted stories and snippets to this month's Local News column. Everyone except Champion will receive a Donator Pack for their contributions. If you have something you'd like to see published in the newspaper, be it a full article, a short story, or an observation, please use the Torn City Times Tell Your Story feature.
Unless you're sending in another screenshot of the flying screen to tell us what you've seen in the clouds. Those can be sent via this link only.
DELAYED MATCHMAKING
Cast your mind back to May 2020. The Coronavirus pandemic was in full swing, Gal Gadot's celebrity-riddled cover of Imagine was fresh in the memory, and I'd hoarded more toilet paper than I could shake a suspiciously brown stick at.
With a deadly virus on the loose, global lockdowns meant that everyone's plans for the year were put on hold indefinitely. Sadly, that included Queen-Warly-Woo and Prince-5T3N, who had planned to get married on May 27th, 2020.
"So both my fiancé (5T3N) and I are Torn players. We were due to be married on Tuesday 26th May this year and due to Covid-19 and myself being in the extremely vulnerable list causing us as a family to shield, we have had to cancel the wedding and push it back a year."
Remember when we all thought this s**t would be over in a year? Oh what naive fools we were. Thankfully, two years on from the pandemic's inception, things are kinda but not really but mostly slightly a bit better now, and that means that Queen-Warly-Woo's wedding is back on! And it's happening tomorrow!
"On Friday 27th at 10:30tct (because let's face it we all work in TCT IRL too) Prince-5T3N [2156450], Leader of Shadow Healers will be crowned King-5t3n as we finally get to say our wedding vows! This is also a weekend of celebrations as he has put up with me for 13yrs this year!"
"Thanks to Covid - we physically could not have the wedding we originally planned as some close family members are sadly no longer with us - so we stuck a middle finger up to a traditional wedding and instead, it will be the two of us along with our son and two of our best friends - who also play Torn - BeefSupreme69 [2757086] and Sugadip-pflaps [2636113]!! So in essence a real Torn wedding!!"
Pictured: Torn wedding confetti.
Prince-5T3N, who will soon change his name to King-5T3N, is the leader of the Shadow Healers faction. His wife, Queen-Warly-Woo, recently took ownership and leadership of the Vinerri faction. QWW says that both of their respective factions have been supportive of their nuptials, even going so far as to avoid ranked wars for the week of their wedding.
Or at least that was the plan.
"My wonderful Co-L Buster [310363] who knows me so well enlisted us anyway! So of course I couldn't say no and put the wedding plans to one side and joined in with the fun of fighting and killing!! -Thankfully, he didn't go through with his plan of contacting Ched and asking for a match specifically on my wedding day; as all of Vinerri know I would be walking down the aisle whilst saying hold on I just need to kill a few people."
Former Shadow Healers co-leader Lady-Khy has written a poem for the happy couple that will be read out at the ceremony. I'm sure I speak for everyone in Torn when I offer my congratulations to Queen-Warly-Woo and King-5T3N and wish them well for the future.
See, we told you Torn's new matchmaking system worked.
RANK TACTICS
Several players have been in touch recently to tell us about some rather odd strategies being deployed during Ranked Warring battles. Has your faction been a victim of underhand or unexpected tactics? Have you noticed any interesting behaviours by your opponents or factionmates during ranked wars?
If so, please contact The Times with your observations, and if your comments are published in our forthcoming article on how Ranked Warring has changed Torn forever, you will receive a Donator Pack.
100 DAY AWARDS
Kwyy managed to achieve 204 awards by day 100, and they've since gone on to nab another 24 in the 60 or so days that followed. Have you earned more awards before day 100? Has someone you know managed this? Let us know!
CARBONATED COLA?
Earlier this month, a player called Gullible contacted The Times to tell us that Realistassasin of Monarch HQ may soon be on the move... to Chain Reaction.
"Since the joining of a few members to monarch I have spoke to RA about he's not happy (tho he proclaimes in the forums he is) about a certain someone joining monarch, he's said a few times he might leave else where and go to CR because "the rules would be less restrictive than this pile of shit" small arguments have happened but it's looking like a few top players could leave."
My suspicions were immediately aroused by the name of my so-called informant, but with nothing better to do, I decided to investigate this story nonetheless. I began by interviewing Realistassasin, who denied he was moving to CR, but admitted he was on his way out of Monarch due to the issues between himself and leadership.
"Whoever told you I am going to CR is a rumour, that's not true. I am very likely to be heading to Carbon with a bunch of peeps and just confirming a few things."
Carbon is a new name on the faction scene after Madmiketyson of PnB recently announced that his faction, one of the oldest names in Torn City history, would be rebranded as part of its merger with The UnLeashed Sykoz, which itself is now known as Carbon. So is this true? Would a decent, hardworking leader like Madmiketyson associate himself with the most notorious member of the Scum Squad? No, obviously not.
"We haven’t really thought about external recruitment yet. I am concentrating on making sure we juggle the current rosters in the best way possible to set the whole group up for success as a new family in Torn! If anybody from Monarch is thinking of a change of scenery, they haven’t spoken to me about it." - Madmiketyson
Less than two days after Carbon's merger, the Monarch-affiliated YMCMT group declared war on them, with former Torn City Times reporter Champion stating that their motive was JoeExotic's exclusion from the Carbon leadership team. This would be a rather juicy development indeed... if any of it were true.
"Lol champion is just trolling, I'm good with everyone in Carbon and its home for me. I'm just here [in WTF] trying my luck in cache farming and the reviving arm of mug's factions." - JoeExotic
"I think most of YMCMT were previously in TuS so I think that thread is just some banter between friends." - Madmiketyson
Further untruths were to follow, with Champion attempting to convince me that he would be joining Realistassasin at Carbon, along with a number of other players who can't gain top HoF leadership positions because nobody takes them seriously anymore, such as dav, uncle, and ovoxo.
Pictured: YMCMT (Young Men's Chode Management Team), whose meeting minutes are written in safety crayon and tears.
The only real story out of all of this mess is the formation of Carbon from the rosters of PnB and TuS. With the heavyweights from these two factions now combined within TuS's shell, we now have another major player at the top end of Torn's faction scene. But how are people reacting to yet another big faction hookup?
"The response to our merger has been overwhelmingly positive- even more so than I anticipated. There are some good folk in most of the major factions and I’m not anticipating any conflict with anybody until we start trying to carve out our own piece of the map in the not too distant future." - Madmiketyson
And as for good old Gullible, a.k.a. redrocket_rev, a player described by one source as "one of the least likable monarch folk", well I simply can't wait for them to slip me more solid facts once they've finished their shift at the **** ****ing factory.
Larger Link
LUCKY DIP DRAW
The winners of Easter's Lucky Dip were drawn earlier this month, but before we reveal who took home a fantastic prize, let's laugh at some of those who would have won a prize if they hadn't been disqualified, shall we?
Spongyboy - Chocolate Egg '05 - Multi
Mystic - Dual Samurai Swords - Duplicate post
Chummy25 - 3x Donator Pack - Duplicate post
Jonar1 - 5x Donator Pack - Duplicate post
RichmanRichie - 25x Munster - Duplicate post
FOOLISHMADMAN - 75x Lottery Voucher - Duplicate post
Aetrus - 50x Drug Pack - Duplicate post
Fanta_phix - 100x Xanax - Multi
When it comes to the actual winners, JKyte and Bennett were up at the top after winning a Welding Helmet each. Several collectibles were also up for grabs, with Waffles winning a Chocolate Egg '05, HanSandwich taking a Royal Doll, and JimmyTheHammer receiving a Single White Rose. But it was Warthin who won the top prize of a Hazmat Suit after posting this absolutely sensational fact about the Easter Bunny.
Pictured: Proof, if it were needed, that these winners are chosen at random. Larger LinkA full list of the
A POLITE REMINDER
I would like to politely remind the community that we do actually read your submissions to Tell Your Story, and sometimes, we publish them. Thanks, Lbarron, for this fascinating insight into your proclivities.
Larger Link
TINY PANTS LEADER
Earlier this year, MrFeng of Vinerri contacted us with some salacious gossip regarding the leader of Vinerri.
Larger Link
If this message had been sent recently it would not be newsworthy, given that Vinerri's current leader, the soon-to-be-married Queen-Warly-Woo, is indeed a woman, and I'm sure I read somewhere that they are entitled to wear women's "underware." However, since MrFeng's message refers to "him", I can only presume the tiny pants wearer to which he is referring is Vinerri's former leader, Pannenkoek.
Larger Link
LONDON'S POLLUTED AIR
An anonymous player contacted The Times to tell us that AiR of Chain Reaction has been put in temporary charge of the LONDON faction. Based on this development, many are now wondering whether CR has purchased LONDON, and their current banner image is doing nothing to dispel such rumours.
Larger Link
A LONDON insider tells us that CR has not actually purchased the faction and that the above banner was made to troll the community. However, one rumour that does appear to have some truth to it is the story that LONDON is building a Dirty Bomb, with the intention of dropping it on a top seven faction.
Larger Link
This story was later updated by my anonymous source who said that LONDON doesn't own the bomb they are making, and they are merely hosting its build. Do you know who really owns LONDON's dirty bomb? How close is Chain Reaction to the LONDON lads? Contact The Times today.
ANOTHER POLITE REMINDER
Thanks, Sparks42069, for sharing your fantasies with us.
Larger Link
CACHE CRAZY
How many Advanced Weapon and Armor caches have you opened? Is it more than Dickbutt? Get in touch!
"I think I own the record for most ranked war caches opened. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I started at 1.2b networth and my networth is estimated at nearly 30b now. It's been crazy." - Dickbutt
GET T'T TORNCON, LAD
Are you a Torn player from Yorkshire? Then put down your whippet and drop Daisyju a message, because she wants to meet you. Alone. Or in a group. Either's fine.
"I have noticed when chatting and reading posts on both faction chats and some discord channels related to Torn just how many people who play torn actually live in the UK and moreover how many live within 100 mile radius of my home here in Yorkshire."
"It set me wondering as to how many of those people would be interested in meeting up ,like a mini torncon , I even came up with a venue as we have a pub/ restaurant/Hotel nearby that is actually located about 1 mile from the m1 junction."
This event is in the early stages of planning, and Daisyju admits she hasn't yet looked into the costs related to venue hire or accommodation. But for Torn's UK-based players, a trip to God's Own Country would certainly be far less pricey than a flight and stay in Washington DC. And while you're visiting Yorkshire, you could even hop over the border to Lancashire, where someone might actually put their hand in their pocket and buy you a drink.
"If anyone would like to meet up and put names to faces drop me a message or timbott on discord and depending on numbers we will see if anything becomes an unofficial Yorkshire torncon."
Please note that all TornCon events are unofficial. We bear no responsibility for the kind of people you'll meet at these things.
MEAT GRINDER
Several players have contacted The Times to ask us to report on the growing trend of new player exploitation by established HOF factions. One of my anonymous sources cited the example of DUBAI, who claimed to have been booted from and bountied by Bloodbath and Beyond after refusing to pay the Xanax tax.
"Charging xanax for minimum hits, requiring users to pay for boosters to make those hits during almost weekly 50k chains. Only allowing the same person to do bonus hits in every chain. Saying they're like a family but then asking you to leave if you can't pay them xanex. The subject of high-ranking meat grinders seems like a decent gossip article." - Anon
It does indeed. If you have been exploited by your faction and would like to share your story in confidence or publicly, contact the Torn City Times today.
A GOOD DEED
The Torn City Times would like to express its gratitude to Hanky, whose dutiful reporting of suspicious activity led to the federal jailing of an entire faction!
"I was browsing factions that had the name of my country to see if there was people playing torn in my country, then i stumble upon a sketchy faction."
Larger Link
"It was rather strange and almost everyone in there has no honor bar and almost everyone registered their accounts around 3-5 days, so I figured it was all multis, I reported it immediately and sure enough it was a one-man faction handling 13 accounts."
Thank you to Hanky and anyone else who has reported a scumbag this week. If you've noticed something suspicious that you feel warrants investigation, please contact a member of staff.
R/PLACE
Did you see the Torn City logo appear on Reddit's r/place last month? If not, then worry no more, for he77789 has preserved the evidence for posterity. That link will take you to he77789's full report on this historic incident, where you can read all about the epic battle between Torn.com and Torn.c*m.
Larger Link
Oh, and I can confirm that the Reddit user called Chedburn69 who helped maintain this image was not our very own Chedburn, sadly. His reddit username is EvlDukluvr420.
A CONVENIENT EXCUSE
Nazmul-george loves to play poker. His favourite poker table is Fourplay. One year ago, the name of this table got him into trouble... or so he says.
"While waiting on that table, I looked on other tab for a while for some purpose. When I returned at table I found that someone came here and left immediately seeing me idle. It was a woman. I searched with her name and sent a message - wanna play fourplay with me?"
"Oh, my dear lord! My auto-correct option made that "FOREPLAY" and very next second I found myself in her block list. I talked about this with my friends and now they are calling me Mr. foreplay!"
What do you think, readers? Was Nazmul-george's typo merely an innocent mistake, or did he have a couple of Jacks on hand?
AN IMPOLITE REMINDER
Southkill has an important admission to make, for which he received a Donator Pack.
Larger Link
YOUR SUBMISSIONS
Thank you to everyone who submitted stories and snippets to this month's Local News column. Everyone except Champion will receive a Donator Pack for their contributions. If you have something you'd like to see published in the newspaper, be it a full article, a short story, or an observation, please use the Torn City Times Tell Your Story feature.
Unless you're sending in another screenshot of the flying screen to tell us what you've seen in the clouds. Those can be sent via this link only.
Original article
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