Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — Torn's prison system is notoriously one of the world's least secure correctional facilities, and those few who have never experienced the delight in breaking free of its confines will at least know someone else who has. Yet despite the relatively short prison terms doled out to its inmates there are some who remain committed to helping convicts free themselves from the clutches of justice. Once such person is Boxcar182 . At the time of writing he is Torn's most prolific jail-breaker with a total of 50,934 busts as of June 27th 2016. In an effort to find out why the prospect of freeing convicted criminals is so tempting the Torn City Times sat down with Boxcar182 to find out why, for the first in a new series of interviews with Torn's most notable citizens. TCT: "Hello Boxcar182. Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed. You are responsible for the most jail breakouts in Torn. Can you tell us why you are doing this?" Boxcar182: "I d...

IIIlusionist [253384] — In our ever-changing Torn City keeping up with the various new game mechanics and player inputs can be difficult. And by player inputs, I am referring to the phenomenon known as scripting. Below is a very basic, non-extensive, and not-so-accurate description for us mere humans of what scripting actually is: Using incohesive (but grammatically correct) content to carry out one or more functions to help make routine tasks easier by automating processes that are normally tedious and modify web pages cosmetically. Basically, it involves adding stuff to your browser to get things done better and faster than you could possibly do without them. To many, including myself, scripts are just combinations of random letters and symbols that form pages-upon-pages of text. However, to the more trained eye, these lines are commands - very much like reading the matrix. There is a fine line between legal and illegal scripting in Torn, but a basic rule to stick by is this - anyt...

sugarvalves [1963573] — An employee of Torn's Casino whose rant against a customer went viral online last week has been told he may have to seek alternate employment should he engage in any further outbursts. Leslie Chanthavong, 38 and originally from Laos, has been a popular figure in Torn of late thanks to his vicious barbs dispensed towards customers of the Casino's Spin The Wheel game. But after his latest comments were uploaded online, Leslie faced a stern rebuke from the Casino's management, albeit for a rather peculiar reason. "Everyone here loves Leslie's unique brand of charm, and its no secret we're loving the attention he brings to our casino, but he's been told twice now to only make fun of people whilst he's on the job. For example, if he'd performed that obscene impression of the Lord Jesus to those visiting clergymen while he was on his lunch hour they might think he meant it, but when he's behind his wheel everyone knows it...

sugarvalves [1963573] — With its ratio of four men for every one woman Torn is notoriously the most male-dominated settlement on the planet, and whilst we may all have our suspicions about the root cause of this particular phenomenon, nobody seems quite sure exactly what to do about it. Whereas China's high male population can be attributed to its one-child policy and societal preference for male heirs, the reason for Torn's distinct lack of females is less easy to identify. There are records of a chemical spill sometime in the early 20th Century which contaminated the city's water supply with an agent known as AK1, a substance thought to cause an over-abundance of the SRY gene. This gene is responsible for generating the male sex within developing humans, yet this still doesn't explain the low levels of female migration from which Torn has suffered continuously since its inception. Some believe Torn's historical reputation as a "City of Men" has hindere...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Torn Police Department has issued a statement today advising members of the public to steer clear of newspaper listings offering short-term work for cash, after a recent spate of bizarre incidents involving one of the city's most notorious loan sharks. Duke, AKA Shirley Calabrese, has been accused of indirect involvement in a number of unorthodox crimes over the past few months, and has been known to advertise roles to ordinary citizens in a bid to keep his own famously tiny hands clean. These jobs typically involve a significant amount of violence or the sending of threatening correspondence, and Torn PD's Chief of Police Ronald Kravitz has urged anyone looking for employment to think carefully before responding to Duke's often misleading job listings: "One guy responded to an ad for a Waste Disposal Management Assistant. The poor schmuck ended up flushing some guy's chopped up corpse down the toilet, limb by limb. He says he was forced, ...