Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — The past few days have borne witness to a period of destruction more devastating than any faction conflict, more controversial than Janet Jackson's nip slip, and more inflammatory than anything Lena Dunham's imbecilic mind has ever tweeted. As such, we have three major stories to cover in today's roundup of news, and we shall begin with Kniv's stunning performance which saw him crowned Triple Dog Tag champion . [Pictured: Next year's tags will be adorned with braille, so blinding was Kniv's glory] Throughout the competition, a total of 319,184 tags were taken by 20,780 participants, with 3,320 good Samaritans having returned their opponents' tags during the 20-day event. Kniv's winning total of 1,773 tags was enough to earn him a frankly ridiculous score of 35,924 points, which represents an improvement of 13,118 on his 2016 tally. This works out as a 57% increase, compared to the 38% increase in actual tags from 1287 to 1773. ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Torn City is a shady place at the best of times, but over the past week, there seems to have been a notable increase in the number of people falling for obvious scams. Jaiden was accused just yesterday of taking $63million TCD from FinalOffensive , and this came hot on the heels of PrinceVegeta 's outing of Lungi -- and DAH 's betrayal by an unnamed player on Saturday. Before the weekend, Kapten_Klitoris posted the results of another of his infamous ruses to add to the list, with his latest multi-million dollar haul building on his previous efforts, the past two of which have returned $875million TCD in scamming profits - minus the cost of a snowboard and driving gloves. So why has scamming suddenly become so easy? Are Torn's people getting stupider? Or are the scammers becoming ever more tough to identify? The latter seems improbable when buy-muggers and trade scammers are frequently outed via the forums. However, with so many accusations flyi...

Td3h [1785428] — For the past two weeks, the epic battle royale known as the Dog-Tag Competition has engulfed almost every citizen of Torn City. Yours truly currently sits in second place with 16794 points and a total of 464 tags collected. If you would like to know how I achieved this, as well as which strategies you might employ to collect a few tags of your own, you may wish to read on. For the less avid readers of this newspaper, here is a short explanation of the way the Dog Tags competition works. At 17:00 on the 5th November, every player in Torn received a Dog Tag engraved with their name. Each tag was worth a set number of points, with the initial value depending on the owner's level and status, and its final value increased according to how many people have held it during the competition. At the end of the event on the 25th of November, the competitors are ranked by the number of points their tag collection is worth. Each year, the competition passes through four indi...

sugarvalves [1963573] — BackAlleyBob's Professional Racing Championships return for their winter edition on December 3rd, with the winner of the main Class A event in line to receive a Bugatti Veyron and $650million in prize money. The PRC's 2017 summer edition was won by Stormcast , and there has been a debate in the racing forums over whether he and future champions should be allowed to use their Veyron in the competition. Should the car prove to be vastly overpowered compared to rival models, Stormcast may end up reaching the automobile equivalent of the singularity, winning race after race, championship after championship, until such point as his exponentially increased speed causes him to transcend the known laws of physics and exist at every point of the universe simultaneously. This would make it very hard to determine the winner of a race. A vote conducted by BackAlleyBob shows the community stands 77.53% in favour of allowing the Veyron to be used in competition, ...

Josephine [1923258] — The Hall of Fame: the place we go to when we want to compare our progress to other players, or when we've misclicked trying to find the forums. The HoF stands as a compendium of rankings and information available to any who care to seek them. Thanks to its existence, you can see your networth dropping, monitor how your attacks stack up to others and stare angrily at the thirty inactive level 12's above you that have undoubtedly better work stats. But is there more to the Hall of Fame than a mere record of player statistics? Does this vast repository of information possess any secrets, any intriguing insights, any titbits of interest which most players would never even notice? Why yes, it does. The first category that greets us upon opening this page is the Level Hall of Fame. Originally, players of equal level were listed according to their ID, but this changed when Stylin posted this Bug Report, expressing his discontent at being kicked off the first ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Dog Tags 2017 is now underway! As of 17:00 on Sunday 5th of November, everyone in Torn is a marked man or woman. And with all of Torn's other annual competitions having run smoothly without incident, this year's Dog Tag event should prove to be nothing short of a resounding, orgasmic success! For those of you who are unaware, the Dog Tags event involves the collection of tags from your downed opponents, as opposed to the usual routine of mugging, mocking or molesting them. Attacking others gives you a chance of stealing either their own tag, should they still possess it, or a random tag from those which your victim has swiped from others. Each tag is inscribed with the original owner's name and is worth a certain amount of points depending on both their level and the number of people who have possessed it. Awards are handed out for anyone who collects 50 and 250 tags during the competition, and more tokens will be given to those with a higher numb...