Torn City Times

Hcom3 [2003693] — In a companion piece to our earlier investigation into the collapse of The Untouchables, Hcom3 interviews some of the key players on Kingstown's side of the story. On the 9th of May, I wrote an article about how the Untouchables bank was emptied . Shortly after its publication Hydra , a member of UNT , made a public submission to the newspaper stating that the facts contained within my report were wrong, and he wanted to correct them. To summarise, it was my understanding that the Untouchables' trouble began when Kingstown refused to talk to Trotsky over a script issue. In response, Trotsky stole some cash and items, and the faction fell to bits as a result. But as is often the case, the truth is nowhere near that simple. There are two sides to every story, so in the interest of balance, I have interviewed those who dispute my previous report;  Badzena , Hydra and aldous_snow . According to these individuals, the trouble all started with faction communica...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Blood prices confusion, Buston myths busted, local cuckold news and more! Earlier this year the Torn City Times introduced the 'Tell Your Story' feature, the aim of which was to source newsworthy nuggets directly from the collective fundaments of the Torn City public. We have received a great many interesting submissions thus far, some of which have even gone on to line the cage of the Times' hamster Clarence.  Sadly, many interesting stories have been deemed to lack the importance required to merit their own article. But fear ye not storytellers, for here is the first of what will be a regular roundup of local news. Buston Tales Come Flooding In In the week since our piece on  Buston , the Torn City Times has received a great many messages which sought to illuminate us on the kind of man he really was. Big_Rico contacted us indicating that the story of the Snow Cannon Buston claimed to have sold him was the opposite of what was true...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Shortly before his self-imposed federal jailing, Buston confessed to the Torn City Times the real reason for his scamming of Hildegarde. Earlier this month, Buston  successfully scammed young upstart Hildegarde out of $10,333,333,333 in cash and another $2billion in stock benefits, after said funds were loaned to him for placement on various bets. Approximately two weeks later, following a manhunt orchestrated by Hildegarde , Buston placed himself in federal jail, with this thread by Champion revealing that boredom, not bounties, were his reason for quitting the city. But was this really the case? Was Buston's scam even legit? And if so, why did Buston behave so atrociously to his dear friend Hildegarde? To find out, let us hear from Buston himself, who speaks to us from beyond the federal grave through quotes he provided to me earlier this month.  Pictured: Buston's hiding spot, behind the light-grey grave at the back dead centre. Y...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — The Grand Finale of the Crosswords...For Now Hello and welcome to the seventh and potentially final crossword to be published in the Torn City Times. Okay, maybe that's a little too dramatic, but it will be the last for a short while as I need to pay attention to my family. Does anyone remember what their names are? To mark the occasion, we're providing you with a king-sized crossword that should keep you occupied for some considerable time. But first, let's look how last week's crossword turned out shall we? There were more entrants this time due to the crossword being rather small, with 72 people taking a shot at finding the correct answer. Very few people were wrong, with most of you correctly supplying the phrase 'EGOISTIC NARCISSISTIC MEGALOMANIAC' in the title of the mail.  The first person to respond correctly was the prize-hungry  colaman32 , who now has two successive victories in the crossword competition. He will receive a Do...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Under pressure to acquire new artefacts and exhibits, the Torn City Museum will temporarily increase its payouts in celebration of International Museum Day. Torn Museum is set to offer a bonus payout of points to those who donate items in a bid to increase the diversity of their exhibitions. This temporary measure comes after minutes of speculation over the Museum's future, with Torn citizens said to give "less than a tenth of a shit" about our city's sole cultural institution. For years the Torn Museum has led the way in its acquisition of foreign items, with our people more than happy to bring back a few 'holiday souvenirs' in exchange for points. This practice made the Museum the envy of even the world's greatest cultural thieves, The British Museum, with Torn's curators providing tips to their British counterparts on how to correctly smuggle medieval coins about one's person. Sadly, due to the increasing laziness of T...

Hcom3 [2003693] — One month on from the shocking collapse of The Untouchables, read the full story of how the faction lost $50billion worth of items, cash and points - as well as their pride. On the 22nd of March a post by  Kata informed the public that the faction UNT had been scammed by a former member of their leadership council to the tune of $50billion TCT. The player in question was identified as Trotsky , but Kata's exposé merely scratched the surface of what went down within the corridors of power of the so-called Untouchables. The TL:DR version is that Trotsky got into an argument with Kingstown  and he took some money and items to address this. But obviously, there is more to that, so to find out what really happened I interviewed four people connected to this issue;  Sarah01 , Trotsky , and two others who wish to remain anonymous. The incident began with Kingstown asking Trotsky to test out a new API script that would monitor Xanax use during ...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — Torn's Sixth Ever Crossword Is 'Hard as a B**tard' according to experts. Father of three dies while trying to complete it. Lies added to subtitle in attempt to achieve headline status. Hello and welcome to Crossword Number 6 of the Almighty and Best Torn City Newspaper in the Universe and Beyond. Your mom is proud of your participation. Last week's puzzle received rather a large number of incorrect responses, but nineteen of you smart-alecs were spot on, having supplied us with the correct answer "Ice cream is my second favorite thing to eat in bed". The first person to send us this filthy line was the honourable mister colaman32 , who experiences the joy of victory for the first time having sent in several correct yet tardy answers to previous crosswords. He will be awarded with a Donator Pack and a kiss on the cheek shortly. "I got so many holes, dude! This is hard. It took me like 10 minutes to find f***king Duke's first n...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Race-ists enjoy boost as autosport scene receives long overdue attention. Public consultation sought on proposals. The Torn City Times can confirm that discussions are underway which may lead to a number of improvements being made to the Torn City Racing system, with the aim of making it easier than ever for wannabe Bernie Ecclestone's to set up their own auto championships before abandoning them abruptly in a blaze of petulant glory. Racing has seen a great deal of attention-arousing action in recent months, with the recently concluded  Night Racers Tribute to Wuggington  paying out $1.6billion in prize money, as well as a number of other high-value items including a rare Audi S3. Fittingly, this excellent competition was won by a friend of Wuggington, Christmasbazaar , with Hammer coming in second and Archimede  taking third. The event proved to be a wonderful way to mark the legacy of one of Torn's greatest ever racers, serving as evidence -...

Lexa [1556957] — Is it just a game, or is it something more? A forum, a social network, a community? Torn has played a huge part in many people's lives over the past fourteen years, and for those who remain here, it continues to do so today. Clearly, Torn is more than a game for most, and this can be seen in the way its players have come together as a community, through the good times and bad.  In this crazy world of fruitcakes and firearms, friendships have been formed; relationships, marriages, and even children have been created through the real-life joining of couples who met through Torn. On the other end of the scale, friends and faction-mates have disappeared into the night; some leaving without notice, others being fedded, and a tragic few having fallen in real life to be forever remembered by those who knew them. Behind all the code, the warring, the factions, and the playstyles Torn is a game of people. And it is the continued support of the citizens and the members of...