Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — Earlier this month we published an article which exposed the financial difficulties being faced by the city's newly founded Detective Agencies. One DA owner who we didn't speak to was  TomDickHarry , director of  Anti-Sleaze Services . He got in touch with the TCT recently to tell us how his agency has managed to buck the trend and make money - kinda. "My DA has been 2-3rd in revenue for the past weeks and I tie with Vlad on most arrests made. We're both at 227 each. My faction is highest for arrests made since I have so many faction members in it, at 357 combined arrests. I didn't do the math, but I assume my DA makes the most arrests combined from my team." "I personally have sold the flight delay REDACTED times, for a combined REDACTED. My first I sold for $5m, then $10m, then $15m. I now add a premium of $5m if I watch the target for the client, so it can go up to $20m, which I received once." TomDickHarry requested tha...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Not literally, but read on anyway to find out why Torn caused Hopslam to break his door, why JollyJoli owns an axe, and whether SuckMyGypsy prefers it soft, hard or not at all. Hopslam and SuckMyGypsy won the coveted Mr and Ms Torn titles last week after 2,527,663 votes were cast over twenty days to determine our city's most attractive and creative citizens. Due to a higher number of entries, the male competition received 1,547,621 votes compared to the women's total of 980,042 - a further 219,464 votes were also made on submissions that were later removed. Pictured: Mr and Ms Torn combined photograph Second and third place in the men's event was awarded to Komodo and Frinzell respectively. Meanwhile, in the ladies contest, Amyrlin took the runner-up spot, with Roguesubmarine voted as runner-up to the runner-up in third. Let's hear from some of these aesthetically pleasing bastards now, shall we? SuckMyGypsy's entry  - edited above ...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — Have a sniff of this chance to get some extra energy for your trains Hello darkness, my old friend, welcome to your weekly fun diversion from training, crimes and forum drama. Here is our next semi-bi weekly Torn City News Crossword, which from now on will be published whenever we have the energy for it. The answer to our last crossword was "My Mom Thinks I'm Cool". Cool, I don't know, but proud perhaps she is. Fastest to answer correctly was AlexeaNikkole . This person might have won before, but we're too lazy to check. Either way, congratulations on winning a piping hot Donator Pack - hopefully, it makes you happy! "I like that the crosswords help me improve my knowledge of torn city and I hope in the future you will continue to do them!" - said AlexeaNikkole . Isn't that lovely? We cried our eyes out all night. The runners up were Silentg_001 , Caya and SabreTooth . We asked Silentg_001 how he felt about his victory, b...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Torn's most grotesque looking citizens are encouraged to emerge from their hovels and show off their ugly mugs, with a special unique item on offer for ten lucky winners. Are you sick and tired of all that brazen nudity on show in the Mr and Ms Torn competition? No, me neither. But it can be quite wearisome to see wave after wave of attractive people getting more upvotes than you. I mean, that's what I hear anyway. I personally wouldn't know about such things. People upvote me in the street. At least I think that's what they're doing. Nevertheless, if you were born with a face only a mother could love as a friend and nothing more, then you'll be glad to know that Leslie Chanthavong's I Hate Mr and Ms Torn competition is back. This contest is to Mr and Ms Torn what the Paralympics are to the Olympics; a chance for the less fortunate yet equally heroic to show what they're truly made of. And this time there is a unique item on o...

Lexa [1556957] — In this edition of Torn City IRL, we chat to -LuciousLyon-, a man whose use of Torn helped him navigate some truly difficult times. Three months ago I wrote what I hoped would be the first of several articles investigating the human side of Torn City.  Sadly and somewhat ironically, my own personal life got in the way and Torn Real Life had to be put on hiatus. However, while I was busy dealing with a shit-covered fan, a player by the name of -LuciousLyon- got in touch with the Torn City Times via the Tell Your Story feature to tell us how Torn had helped him with his real-life struggles.  "Up until about 550 days ago I was an opiate addict. As I was trying to fill my empty time with stuff to do instead of drugs I discovered Torn. This has kept my mind stimulated enough to abstain from drug use. I'd like to take this time to personally that all staff and civilians alike. Without you guys none of this would have been possible....

sugarvalves [1963573] — Hunting experience set to receive boost as Tigers now legally allowed to be made dead by Torn hunters. A decades-long ban which prevented Torn citizens from hunting Tigers in South Africa will soon be lifted, as an edict from South African President Cyril Ramaphosa is set to come into effect as of 00:00 TCT on July 29th - just in time for World Tiger Day. Once they reach level 15, Torn's citizens are permitted to travel to South Africa and shoot all manner of wild beasts including Warthogs, Zebras and even the strong, sensual Gorilla. In exchange for their kill, wannabe Walter Palmer's receive a sizeable sum from the locals, with rewards ranging from $250 for a Buffalo all the way to $12,000 for an Elephant. Tigers have been historically protected from Torn's hunters due to the fact they are not native to the nation. The only ones which do reside in Jo'burg are those found in Zoos and Safari Parks. Shooting these is known to be particularly di...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — Hello and welcome to the next Crossword Edition which Torn City News is publishing right here in your wet face. We are not crazy and nor did we go crazy while producing this next puzzle. First, we must commit seppuku and apologize for a mistake in last week's crossword where the minimum battlestat answer was given as fifty but should have been forty. Even though both of these answers fit - forty, fifty, almost the same, go figure - we got some angry mails that some prizes should be returned.  This won't happen. We are living in Torn, and are therefore unable to reclaim the award. We might place some bounties though. And either way, the Kevin Spacey picture was clearly the best, even if it was wrong. Last weeks drama aside, the correct puzzle answer was "Who is messing with my radio!" and definitely not "Who he is going with my radio" which several fellows sent me hoping I wouldn't notice that they had copied from each other. Make...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Why doesn't he post much anymore? What do Stretch and Chedburn think of him? Who is his secret identity? Find out in this epic tale of the King of Karma: Champion. "Just a troll I'd say" - Z_Junior In April 2017 I received a complaint from JFK leader Z_Junior regarding his recently published Tornography, a piece which I had chosen to bookend with references to his long-term admirer, Champion . He felt this biographical account of his life and times was a good article about Champ but had little to do with him, and "Junia" accused the perpetual forum dweller of being nothing more than a troll. This description may have been fair at the time, but is it still accurate? Is Champion even relevant anymore, or has he begun a long, painful slide into obscurity? A recent post by Honey-Badger polled the community on this very subject , and their opinion was as divided as an American migrant family and their children. While a significant pr...

Claire [1971751] — With Mauk set to end his work on the popular extension DoctorN, we sat down to speak with him, Icebluefire and Chedburn to see what the future holds for scripts in Torn. In May of 2018, the Torn community was made aware that Mauk , the creator of the DoctorN extension,  would be discontinuing his work on the popular tool with immediate effect.  Mauk had actually announced the end of  DoctorN  in  a largely unheralded post in the Tools & Userscripts section  one month prior, but it was Lonestar's announcement which brought the news to the attention of the masses.  DoctorN's imminent demise  was then  publicised through a forum post based on a conversation Mauk had with Lonestar , and in the thread that followed, many players expressed their extreme sadness and gratitude for Mauk's hard work. For those who don't know,  DoctorN is a free third-party extension which replaces the City Watch and adds a number o...