Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — Free donator packs, the Xanax bug, disabled puppies, child trafficking and a brand new Agony Aunt feature are just some of the stories we considered too insignificant to warrant a full article. Donator Packs Awarded to Local News Contributors The Tell Your Story feature has been a welcome addition to the Torn City Times. Interesting stories, idle gossip, wayward opinions and a peculiar looking rash are just some of the things we've been sent of late, and a few of these submissions have gone on to become full articles, with the sender receiving the Reporter status, points and merit as a result.  However, entries which are too short or stupid to be used for a full article often get published in this, our Local News Roundup. Anyone whose submission appears in the LNR receives a Donator Pack upon publication. So if you have some information you've been sitting on, or you have a theory about a particularly damp part of Torn City,  Tell Your Story to...

Zib80 [2132015] — Carrot has spent the past twelve years playing Torn as a human punchbag. Why does he do this? What does he get out of it? Zib80 investigates to find out more. To discover your first punchbag is a glorious thing. You take on a player in what you think will be an even fight, yet to your astonishment, you batter them into the ground after a couple of hits. That's someone you'll definitely want to use again, so you save their name to a list for the next time you need an easy win. Inevitably, these lists get saved, shared, and edited as time goes on. Some of these punchbags may end up quitting as a result, with their lifeless corpses still being beaten by levellers and chainers years after they've gone. But what about those who stick around? Why do they continue to play? What does it feel like to be a living, breathing punchbag? I reached out to such a player to find out what drives these un-sung heroes to do what they do. Carrot is a level 51 (Master Punch...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Chedburn to relinquish CM role within next few months. Incoming manager to wield fancy new powers. Perverts and trolls reportedly 'shaken' by news. A document leaked to the Torn City Times has confirmed that Torn's beloved leader Chedburn is to step down from his role as Community Manager, with a replacement set to take over the position gradually over the next few months. An advertisement for this role will be published imminently, and I can exclusively reveal that Chedburn is willing to consider individuals with or without staff history for this most prestigious position. It is expected that the prospective CM will begin at the rank of Helper, gradually rising through the roles of Moderator, Officer and eventually Community Manager if the candidate proves suitable and manages to gain the appropriate experience. The new Community Manager will undertake a similar range of duties to that of their predecessors, including but not limited to managing...

MightyGoober [812478] — Following the recent release of our seasonal newsletter, I sat down with Chedburn for a response to some of the questions left unanswered by the latest post. Earlier this week I received the seasonal newsletter into my inbox. Every citizen is issued this update four times a year, with its purpose being to keep Torn's people in the loop as to what's happened and what we can expect in future. However, the latest newsletter posed us with more questions than answers. So, in a bid to find out more about  the proposed changes to our city, I sat down with our fearless leader, Chedburn to get some clarification. Editorial Note, Only the relevant information is shown here. Conversations and anything that wouldn't add context has been removed. BOOKIES MightyGoober: " We have seen the betting limit increased to 1 million, can you give us your thoughts on the next step? What will the next limit be? Or do you see the next jump being an unlimited bet?...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Large cloud of Nitrous Oxide heading for Torn City. No threat to life expected. Residents told to prepare for light-headedness and higher alcohol susceptibility. A chemical manufacturing facility located just outside of Torn City was annihilated by an explosion early this morning, with over 10,000 cubic feet of Nitrous Oxide gas released into the troposphere as a result. The culprit and sole casualty of this explosion was a 44-year-old Torn citizen whose name has not been released. The man in question was reportedly attempting to huff N02 directly from the factory's machinery when a small rodent startled him, causing the now-inebriated buffoon to accidentally reverse the manufacturing process. After a build-up of gas caused the main Nangotomy chamber to burst, a chain of explosions tore apart the facility like a fat child opening a twinkie. The unnamed man was later taken to hospital and treated for his injuries, with his condition described as  "off...

Bug [1455582] — Are your complaints being heard in Torn's most popular subforum? Which common scam causes the most reports? And how do you get a Bug Swatter? Read on to find out! Down at the bottom of the Torn forums lies an area free of trolls and drama devoted to the inner workings of Torn. Exposing bare wires and the stench of coffee at 3 am, this place is most often visited by those who feel they've been shortchanged in a game of poker or cheating in a trade. I am, of course, referring to the Bugs & Issues sub-forum , a place which plays a crucial part in Torn life and is often the source of many changes to our fair city. Housing over 18,000 bug reports, Bugs & Issues, herein known as B&I, is the busiest section of the forums. The first thing you'll notice upon creating a new thread is the big red warning sign. Due to the huge number of reports received daily, staff request that you search for duplicates before posting your complaint. If the bug has not a...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Earlier this month we published an article which exposed the financial difficulties being faced by the city's newly founded Detective Agencies. One DA owner who we didn't speak to was  TomDickHarry , director of  Anti-Sleaze Services . He got in touch with the TCT recently to tell us how his agency has managed to buck the trend and make money - kinda. "My DA has been 2-3rd in revenue for the past weeks and I tie with Vlad on most arrests made. We're both at 227 each. My faction is highest for arrests made since I have so many faction members in it, at 357 combined arrests. I didn't do the math, but I assume my DA makes the most arrests combined from my team." "I personally have sold the flight delay REDACTED times, for a combined REDACTED. My first I sold for $5m, then $10m, then $15m. I now add a premium of $5m if I watch the target for the client, so it can go up to $20m, which I received once." TomDickHarry requested tha...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Not literally, but read on anyway to find out why Torn caused Hopslam to break his door, why JollyJoli owns an axe, and whether SuckMyGypsy prefers it soft, hard or not at all. Hopslam and SuckMyGypsy won the coveted Mr and Ms Torn titles last week after 2,527,663 votes were cast over twenty days to determine our city's most attractive and creative citizens. Due to a higher number of entries, the male competition received 1,547,621 votes compared to the women's total of 980,042 - a further 219,464 votes were also made on submissions that were later removed. Pictured: Mr and Ms Torn combined photograph Second and third place in the men's event was awarded to Komodo and Frinzell respectively. Meanwhile, in the ladies contest, Amyrlin took the runner-up spot, with Roguesubmarine voted as runner-up to the runner-up in third. Let's hear from some of these aesthetically pleasing bastards now, shall we? SuckMyGypsy's entry  - edited above ...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — Have a sniff of this chance to get some extra energy for your trains Hello darkness, my old friend, welcome to your weekly fun diversion from training, crimes and forum drama. Here is our next semi-bi weekly Torn City News Crossword, which from now on will be published whenever we have the energy for it. The answer to our last crossword was "My Mom Thinks I'm Cool". Cool, I don't know, but proud perhaps she is. Fastest to answer correctly was AlexeaNikkole . This person might have won before, but we're too lazy to check. Either way, congratulations on winning a piping hot Donator Pack - hopefully, it makes you happy! "I like that the crosswords help me improve my knowledge of torn city and I hope in the future you will continue to do them!" - said AlexeaNikkole . Isn't that lovely? We cried our eyes out all night. The runners up were Silentg_001 , Caya and SabreTooth . We asked Silentg_001 how he felt about his victory, b...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Torn's most grotesque looking citizens are encouraged to emerge from their hovels and show off their ugly mugs, with a special unique item on offer for ten lucky winners. Are you sick and tired of all that brazen nudity on show in the Mr and Ms Torn competition? No, me neither. But it can be quite wearisome to see wave after wave of attractive people getting more upvotes than you. I mean, that's what I hear anyway. I personally wouldn't know about such things. People upvote me in the street. At least I think that's what they're doing. Nevertheless, if you were born with a face only a mother could love as a friend and nothing more, then you'll be glad to know that Leslie Chanthavong's I Hate Mr and Ms Torn competition is back. This contest is to Mr and Ms Torn what the Paralympics are to the Olympics; a chance for the less fortunate yet equally heroic to show what they're truly made of. And this time there is a unique item on o...