Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — Crucifier, CONFESS! Chain-breaker, CONFESS! Self-loather, CONFESS! Gambler, CONFESS! Fraudster, CONFESS! Future vault thief, CONFESS! Pastor Williams confers wisdom upon yet another punnet of sinners. Before we begin the healing of our herd, this month I must give praise to you all for resisting the temptation to flood my letterbox with false divulgence. This is the first and thus far only occasion where my confessional column lays unstained with untruths and lies, as you will see by the lack of exposed sinners at its cessation. I thank our city's many fools - for they are so numerous - for finally bestowing my work with the respect it deserves. And now, let us hear from the filth, the worst of the worst, those for whom stepping in canine excreta only makes them more reputable. The Pastor's Response Laugh at others today, tomorrow others will laugh at you." - Vietnamese Proverb To hospitalize another for your own benefit is no sin - this is how i...

h3110 [2493776] — Read H3110's rundown of how the community came together to figure out the secret requirements of Chedburn's "Nice" merit. Every Tuesday the Torn Patch List is released via the Announcements forum , revealing all of the latest changes Chedburn and his staff have made to Torn over the past week. Towards the end of this list, a new Honor bar is revealed, along with the requirements you must meet to achieve it. For example, last week we had Going Postal, which you could earn by defeating a company co-worker. On Tuesday the 14th of July the merit ‘Nice’ was added, and on this occasion, the description was a little more vague than usual, as it consisted of nothing more than a single word: Pictured: Uhh, thanks Chedburn. The Torn community wanted to find out how they could achieve this merit immediately, and the beginnings of a forum mega-thread quickly spawned. Everyone had their opinion, and some people were scared that this was just a randomly gener...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Find out how a major change has affected point prices, why you need to buy Business Class Tickets now, what will happen to Feathery Hotel Coupons, and more trading info in our latest Market Report. BEER DAY IMMINENT International Beer Day was originally set to begin today, the 7th of August, at noon, but the period of scheduled downtime meant that the event had to be delayed for 24 hours . Torn's merry band of alcoholics will therefore have a few extra hours to purchase their beer supplies ahead of the new start time at noon on Saturday. Pictured: Players in Torn and IRL this weekend. Earlier this week, we revealed that Bottles of Beer had gained in value by $800 over the course of the year, with $500 of that added in the past month alone. A similar story was seen with the price of Beer Kegs, which had added roughly $2.5 million of value since January 2020. In the two days since this article was released the two beer items have suffered differing fortunes...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Bonus nerve event moved to 8th-10th August due to scheduled downtime. Beer items set to provide 5x usual nerve. Prices rise in anticipation of mass drunkeness. Torn's annual celebration of International Beer Day has been pushed back by 24 hours, and will now begin at noon TCT on the 8th of August, ending 48 hours later at noon on the 10th. Beer Day traditionally takes place on the first Friday in August, but this year the event clashes with a period of scheduled downtime, hence the delay in our city's epic quest to eradicate sobriety. Pictured: Casual drinking attire. The International Beer Day event provides a 5x boost to the nerve gained from drinking beer. This boost does not apply to any alcohol items other than beer, only the Bottle of Beer item and the Glass of Beer item produced by the Beer Keg are affected by this bonus. That doesn't mean that you can't drink Tequila or Saké, but that you should save them for the end of your bender as ...

IceBlueFire [776] — Coming Soon™ (Like, right now) As anyone who read the previous article by PrincessJulie will know, Torn Stats has been around for almost seven years now. With such time come changes and improvements, and now it’s finally happening; Torn Stats is being rebuilt from the ground up! Over the last couple of months, I have been updating the legacy code across the whole website, and a small group of dedicated beta-testers have worked tirelessly to break things report errors and suggest features they wanted to see in the rebuild. Pictured: Harley working hard as a beta tester With this rebuild you can expect to see new and improved versions of all your old favorites, including the personal stats and faction members pages, as well as many new features that will hopefully become your new go-to’s. Some improvements won’t be obvious upon your first use of 2.0, however, such as the new, much more secure, authentication system. So to keep you informed as to what is coming yo...

Pixie- [2342246] — Tackle our latest Word Search puzzle for a chance to win free Donator Packs! Last month's word search was our hardest yet, and that meant only 84 people successfully completed it! Here are some of the comments we received. " Thanks for double the fun! xD" "I also saw a tit there. Do I get a bonus score?" " I also highlighted the word "Grief", just to mark it. Ignore that. " " A couple of these were hard to find! Thanks for posting this. It was enjoyable.P.S., I found Bogie's name, and Gump's name in the bottom right too, made a separate image. " " This is my entry for the contest. Sorry for chatting you up first. Thank you very much Ms. Pixie Dust!" "Great fun as always. Duke's faction name was a right stumper. Couldn't find the answer anywhere." Word Search 6 Winner (4 DPs): MarshMeloz [1961356] Runner Ups (2 DPs): emerix [2187675] g-eazy [1977350] SirBunny [2144773] Here i...

sugarvalves [1963573] — 24-hour qualifying schedule announced. Qualifiers to be run every hour of the day over intense 4-day race calendar. 48 qualifying spots available. The URT Qualifying rounds begin this Friday, with the first of four days of high-octane action kicking off with a meeting at Withdrawal in the early hours of the morning. Based on the numbers who turned up for testing there will be heavy competition to qualify for this year's Summer Ultimate Racing Tournament, which is why we've scheduled qualifying races to run every hour for 96-hours straight! HOW TO ENTER The URT Qualifiers are open to all drivers of any ability. To enter a qualifier, visit the Race Track and search for a URT branded race under the Custom Events tab. New URT Qualifying races will be posted on the hour and will be marked with the code URTXXQY, with the X's replaced with letters which denote the track, and the Y replaced with a number to indicate the race's position in the day...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Find out what the winners of Mr and Ms Torn have to say about their entries, who had to buy their kids a puppy, and how you losers can enter the disgusting Choke Me Leslie competition! Toro_Loco and Vogel are our 2020 Mr and Ms Torn winners. The pair were crowned on Saturday after a three-week voting process which saw 1,374 submissions, over 4 million votes cast, and many people's self-confidence shattered beyond repair. But for our two lucky champions, this is not their fate. With the appreciation and validation of Torn's people still ringing in their ears, Mr and Ms Torn are now legally obliged to head to the nearest motel and procreate, thus producing Baby Torn, who will one day become our city's most hated Emperor. Pictured: It's a spa motel, so you know it's classy. And speaking of bumping uglies, the world-renowned Choke Me Leslie competition has just opened up for entries. This event asks players to create the most grotesque selfie ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Tiger Day event begins July 28th. Five times the usual hunting experience can be gained. 48-hour event set to end at noon on July 30th. Have you ever wanted to experience the pathetic thrill of murdering a defenceless creature with a high-powered rifle from a great distance? I know I have. Sadly, the authorities confiscated my M/28-30 after I started reading a book about Simo Häyhä atop my local watchtower. All those tiny little ants waiting to be squashed. It would've been so easy. So, so easy. Oh well, I'll have to quench my thirst for blood by taking part in Tiger Day instead, which begins at lunchtime on Tuesday! Pictured: This Gazelle would look great with some holes in it. Animal Hunting is available to all players who are level 15 and above. You can join in with the bloodthirsty fun by travelling to South Africa and paying just $500 and 10 energy for the privilege. There are three types of hunting session available, and each one allows you to ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Find out what Aunty knows about Jimmy Two-Shins, what it takes to become a staffer, and why there's hope for revivers yet in Aunty Torn's latest advice column. Your eyes do not deceive you. Aunty Torn has returned from her self-imposed quarantine to answer more of your burning questions. I'm sure you'll understand that Aunty had to stay at home shielding for a couple of months while things calm down. Aunty has become quite fond of breathing over the years and has no intention of stopping just because some people can't bring themselves to wear a mask at the grocery store. She said there were people like this during the Spanish Flu, but back then the solution was more elegant - they were shot. Anyway, with her lungs operating at full capacity, here are this month's queries and quandaries, followed by Aunty Torn's words of wisdom. Dear Aunty Torn, When staff applications open I'm going to be applying but the issue is I kinda need ...