Torn City Times

sugarvalves [1963573] — Bonus drunkness expected for those who consume beer from noon tomorrow. Beer prices expected to rise, fall, rise, rise, then fall a bit, maybe rise, then plummet, I guess. This time last year, an explosion at a nearby chemical manufacturing plant caused a huge cloud of nitrous oxide to envelop Torn city. The result of this accident was that oxygen was displaced from the local area, and in turn, this meant that Torn's citizens possessed lower than normal levels of the precious life-giving gas in their bloodstreams until the cloud buggered off. Drinking alcohol in such a state is not advised, as low levels of blood oxygen makes humans even more susceptible to the effects of inebriation - that's why it's easy to get arseholed on a plane. But in August of 2018, the people of Torn City didn't give two shiny s**ts about so-called health warnings from so-called experts, and when they were informed of the potential to get super wasted on a sunny summ...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Not really. But they do tell us about their entries, as do the runners up. So read on to find out who bought a fish, who staged an accident, and who demanded pictures of my feet. The Mr and Ms Torn competition concluded last Friday, with Bogie and RogueSubmarine taking the title for their respective genders. Both of our champions finished some way ahead of the opposition, with 0.48 and 0.38 points separating them from their rivals in second place. As is the tradition in Torn City, our newly crowned Mr and Ms Torn will now have their pick of the city's virgins, with a 1,000 strong male-dominated hareem expected in place by the end of the week ahead of a month-long love festival predicted to cause several hundred passionate deaths say a few words to the city's people. Mr Torn - Bogie The name of Bogie's entry is classified information that only a select few are privy to. Anyone outside of this circle who guesses it correctly will be shot and buried...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Gamblers rejoice as odds offered on the latest Ultimate Racing Tournament. Read on to find out who to bet on, how to bet, why to bet, and whence you may bet. Did you miss out on qualification for the Ultimate Racing Tournament and the chance to win billions of dollars in prize money? Tough luck slowpoke. But don't go crying into your piping hot cereal just yet, because thanks to Digger67 and Garfthegreat, the URT Betting House is now open, giving you and everyone else the chance to win big by predicting the results of the Ultimate Racing Tournament. The URT Betting House is a player-run bookie system which operates independently of Torn City, providing gamblers with an opportunity to win millions of dollars by backing one or more of the thirty-six qualified drivers. The Torn authorities have no control over this system and will not intervene should shenanigans occur. Please note that any bets are made at your own risk. However, the two players running th...

Stewie [1494547] — Let's have a look through the latest Patch List as posted by Chedburn to see what updates, changes, and fixes have been made to Torn this week, and what they mean for you. Please note, the updates and bugs documented in this article are worked on by a team of developers. Where a single developer is individually mentioned, it simply reflects who confirmed the report as fixed or complete, and not that they were solely responsible. Updates, Changes, and Additions - Added priming & safing mechanic to Dirty Bombs. As a result of a second Dirty Bomb having its effects reversed due to being purchased via illegitimate means (see here and here ), bogie and Chedburn have come up with measures to ensure no more need ever be reversed. In order to drop a Dirty Bomb it must now be "Primed" 24 hours in advance. Once Primed, it remains so whilst in a players inventory, and can be dropped at will. If the Dirty Bomb is traded or added to a Bazaar or Display ca...

ArttiIsGod [1954421] — Never a cross word was said until the day the crossword took over a cross world. Hello and welcome to the Torn City Times Crossword Edition 34. You thought we were finished, right. Right? Nope, we were on another holiday, collecting ideas for a snazzy new crossword for you to solve. But as always, it came out as nothing special. We got a nice tan though, so it wasn't all bad. The answer to the previous crossword was: "Best pants are Leslie's undies". And I know this because I managed to loot Leslie's sweatpants while Leslie was not looking. You looted a pair of Sweatpants from Leslie . See. You know it's true because it's in bold. Anyway, the fastest person to answer last week's puzzle was Jfive . The three runner-ups were DaQ , VictaFunk, and Jvginger . Congratulations! Your Donator Packs will be sent out once I find someone to take these sweatpants off my hands. This week's fully solved crossword was created by Mashur3...

sugarvalves [1963573] — The qualification phase of the Ultimate Racing Tournament begins at 1 am tonight, with the first Hammerhead qualifier opening at midnight roughly one hour ahead of its scheduled start time. Only 100 drivers will be permitted in this opening qualifier, but with further races opening up on a regular basis for the next three days, Torn's petrolheads will have plenty of chances to take part, with a total of 3,000 slots available. Drivers of all levels are encouraged to participate, with each class of car permitted in both the qualifying rounds and the tournament proper. Each qualifying race will take place over 20 laps, and when all of the day's ten races have been run, the drivers who have posted the fastest twelve times on that particular track will qualify for the finals. The full schedule for the qualification opening times and their respective stewards can be found below. Please note the official race name as denoted by the code URTQXXXX QUALIFIER OPE...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Frosties mascot seen writhing in agony as hunters practice ahead of two-day bonus hunting skill event. Scores of magnificent beasts set to be slaughtered "for no good reason". Torn's bloodthirsty citizens are encouraged to travel to South Africa this weekend, as the city of Johannesburg is set to offer bonus rewards to anyone who helps reduce their invasive tiger population. This event hopes to build on the success of a similar death-drive back in 2018 when scores of these magnificent beasts were slaughtered in cold blood, with a $20,000 bounty once more on offer for anyone who manages to murder Tony the Tiger and his carnivorous chums. Pictured: Time's up, you stripey bastard. Tigers are not typically native to South Africa, but in recent years a handful of the beasts have been introduced into nature reserves up and down the country. In 2018, a large colony of tigers escaped their enclosure and began to roam the outskirts of Johannesburg, l...

Proxima [1879587] — Let's have a look through the latest Patch List as posted by Chedburn to see what updates, changes, and fixes have been made to Torn this week, and what they mean for you. Please note, the updates and bugs documented in this article are worked on by a team of developers. Where a single developer is individually mentioned, it simply reflects who confirmed the report as fixed or complete, and not that they were solely responsible. Updates, Changes, and Additions - Changed maximum amount of sets to exchange in the Museum to 1000 . After BeerDrinker reported an issue with bulk-exchanging a large number of sets in the museum, Chedburn observed it was because of the unusually high number of sets being exchanged at once (>6000 in one instance) and suggested a hard limit of 1000 should be imposed. nikitad confirmed that this has now been implemented. Bugs, Fixes and Typos - Fixed territory map in the faction territory panel . When territory warring was first re...

sugarvalves [1963573] — First qualifying races scheduled to begin next week. Bugatti Veyron and $1 billion on offer to winner. Prize pool expanded to $8 billion. The qualifying stages for the Ultimate Racing Tournament begin next Thursday, with multiple races set to be held over three days from the 25th to the 27th to determine the thirty-six qualifying drivers. The tournament proper is scheduled to begin two days after the qualifiers on July 29th, with the group stage and knockout rounds culminating in the grand final held on August 11th. As ever, a Bugatti Veyron and $1 billion will be on offer to the winner of the URT, with hundreds of millions also paid out to those who reach the final. But the major news is that an expanded prize pool of $8 billion now allows us to pay out to other drivers too, with full details of the URT rewards to be revealed later this week. To secure your place in the tournament, the first qualifying event is scheduled for the 25th of July and will take pl...

sugarvalves [1963573] — How do you become popular? How inactive is too inactive? And when should a leader give up on their faction? Aunty Torn answers all these questions and more - well, two more. Hello dearies. It's awfully sticky out in Torn City right now, so Aunty's taken some time in the shade to answer some of your queries. And for those who are wondering, no, Aunty won't be entering Mr and Ms Torn this year. She did receive a lot of unwanted encouragement in her inbox, mind, including an offer from Nova to run his "definitely regular-sized hands" all over her "experienced form". But Aunty's flesh-bearing days are over. So in lieu of her sparkling red ruby going on display, here are her pearls of wisdom instead. I am a player that is not much more than a year old, and for the most part, I play this game silently. The only people who would recognize me are the ones in my faction, my job, or who frequent certain forums. My question is this: I...

sugarvalves [1963573] — Have you ever wondered which companies pay the least? Which are the most unpopular industries? And whether any of these firms might be boosted in future? Torn’s most recent newsletter indicated that a series of small tweaks will soon be made to some of our city’s less attractive companies. The aim of this initiative is to balance the share of employees across all industries, with this deemed more important than the constant creation of new firms which require ever more staff to fill them. A recent forum post by Smurf highlighted the problem of cripplingly high wages in Torn’s private industries, and it seems Chedburn has acknowledged this issue with his plan to amend existing companies. It has been suggested that both profit and specials could be boosted in some of Torn’s less successful industries to help Torn's wage issues, but how will Chedburn judge which company types to tinker with? Pictured: This guy tried to work it out and after ten days he stil...

Stewie [1494547] — Let's have a look through the latest Patch List as posted by Chedburn to see what updates, changes, and fixes have been made to Torn this week, and what they mean for you. Please note, the updates and bugs documented in this article are worked on by a team of developers. Where a single developer is individually mentioned, it simply reflects who confirmed the report as fixed or complete, and not that they were solely responsible. Updates, Changes, and Additions - Added loot status to NPC profiles when they're not in the hospital. - Changed rarest NPC loot to be unavailable at lower loot levels. - Changed loot level to start increasing on NPCs immediately after they come out of hospital. - Changed loot level to increase substantially quicker: 30, 90, 210, 450 (minutes). - Changed hospital time of NPCs upon defeat to 100 - 120 minutes (reduction). A number of slight changes have been made to the looting system this week! Previously, the specifics had not been...